"The Heart of Me"

The Heart of Me (2002) is a UK period soap set between WW I and WW 2 about the trials of being a stuffy as hell upper middle class Brit. The basic plot premise has a wealthy young man married to a proper gentlewoman (Olivia Williams), living in a proper flat, and having proper parties for their proper friends. When he isn't busy keeping up appearances, he is sport humping Williams' bohemian sister, Helena Bonham Carter. Lots of dynamics to play with in this triangle, but they preferred to focus on whom could keep the corn cob stuck up their arse the longest. I listen to part of the commentary, and discovered that the director and writer both still had theirs firmly implanted.

The only saving grace of this muck is breast exposure from both Helena Bonham Carter and Olivia Williams. IMDB readers have this at 6.0 of 10. Critics are divided between those that call this a soap opera but give three stars anyway, and those that call this a soap opera and give it the low marks it deserves. Even a talented cast could not save this given the dialogue and direction. Very low C-.

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  • Helena Bonham Carter (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Olivia Williams (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Some .wmv film clips



    In the Cut (2003)

    I'm sick of this film. I have talked about it several times. I read the book. Then I talked about that. I've done images several times. Tuna has done images. Enough!

    • Here are my words.

    • Here are my latest Meg Ryan images. I tried to do some different stuff this time - different lighting, whatever. Some of it came out good, other collages suck. So it goes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)




    • Updates for Meg Ryan and Theresa Russell.






    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    1. Something old.  Rachel Ward in Night School. Her most significant nudity. (.avi version, .wmv version .wmv version part 1 .wmv version part 2)

    2. Something new. No matter which decade you're discussing, one thing is sure: Helen Mirren is naked. She did it twice last year, in Calendar girls and in this film, The Roman Spring of Mrs Stone (.avi version, .wmv version)



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    • Jessica Lange nude in the 1988 mvoie "Everybody's All-American". These are from the recently released DVD. Graphic adds...'The scenes are still too dark to make it a winner but it still gets the message across OK'.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Love In a 4 Letter World" (1970)
    French-Canadian sex comedy about a man with a beautiful wife and daughter who lusts after a woman (Cayle Chernin). Previously Monique Mercure was confused with Cayle Chermin.

    "Night of the Demons III" (1997)
    Third installment starring Amelia Kinkade this time filmed in Canada. The highlight is when she gives a blowjob to a handgun and spits out the bullets afterwards.

    "The Funny Farm" (1983)
    Comedy drama about the standup circuit not to be confused with the Chevy Chase classic. Most of the shots are very dark. No nudity.

    "Puppets Who Kill: Portrait of Buttons"
    Season two has started last week. In this week's episode they have Canadian nurses who administer handjobs to assist guys who donate sperm. The thing to avoid is the male nurses.

    • Polly Shannon: fully clothed people sex and puppet sex.
    • Anna Silk: sexy as nurse about to administer handjob.

    "Hog Wild" (1980)
    Really bad Canadian biker movie. The high school students look old enough to be college seniors. No nudity.

    "Suzanne" (1980)
    One scene not to be missed is the go-go dancer audition. Not only did Jennifer Dale hike up her skirt but you can see a then-unknown Michele Scarabelli strut her stuff in a white bustier and cut-off shorts.

    "Conspiracy of Silence" (1991)
    Miniseries based on a true story. Michelle St. John is sort of full frontal as a dead body in a post rape scene.

    "Family of Cops III" (1999)
    Third and final installment of the Charles Bronson franchise. Laura Catalano is probably the blonde waitress in the bar scene.

    • Assorted ladies (1, 2, 3)

    "Welcome to Paradox: Blue Champagne Resort"
    Weird episode about a woman (Rachel Hayward) who stars in virtual reality programs.

    Misc. stuff:

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Out of Order"
    2003 Showtime mini-series turned into a feature-length film for DVD tells the story of married screenwriters who cope with her depression, overuse of alcohol and marijuana, and loss of interest in intimacy. As she struggles with her demons, he tries very hard to remain faithful despite being very tempted to stray. When he becomes attracted to a neighborhood soccer mom, things get even more difficult.

    Very well done and interesting, and will be especially attractive to fans of shows like "Thirty Something", as it deals with many of the same issues.

    Ludivine Sagnier
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The young and gorgeous French actress in the role that first brought her to our attention. Here she is at about 20 years old, baring all in scenes from "Gouttes d'eau sur pierres brűlantes" aka "Water Drops On Burning Rocks" (2000). The movie itself is art house pig poo, BUT Ludivine is nekkid for maybe 20 minutes of screen time and looks amazing.

    Tracy Spaulding
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Very nice toplessness and thong views in several scenes from the Shannon Tweed flick, "Stormy Nights" aka "The Widow" (1996).

    Hudson Leick
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    A new Vejiita comic featuring the Evil Callisto topless in scenes from "Denial" and "After The Game" aka "The Last Hand".

    Hilary Swank Kitt catches the Oscar winning actress showing off some nice cleavage during an appearance on Letterman.

    Jennifer Lopez Before she became 'the Diva known as J-Lo' she had a co-starring role as the token love interest in the Wesley Snipes/Woody Harrelson buddy pic, "Money Train" (1995). Oh yeah...she got topless in a love scene with Snipes. 'Caps by nmd.

    Mariah Carey The pop star lets a nip slip out. Thanks to Squiddy.

    Elia Galera
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Gorgeous robo-hooters on display in scenes from the Spanish movie "La Mujer más fea del mundo" aka "The Ugliest Woman in the World" (1999). 'Caps by the Skin-man.