In the Cut (2003) is billed as an erotic thriller. It does have two or three sex scenes, included a very explicit one of a woman giving head to a prosthetic penis (a pivotal early scene), and a serial killer, this was really more a character study of Meg Ran's High School teacher too reticent to get involved with life, but fascinated by sex and danger, and her carefree sister, Jennifer Jason Lee. IN the early scene mentioned above, Ryan observes a shadowy figure betting head from a girl with green fingernails. The man's arm has a unique tattoo.

The next day, a detective is waiting for her at her apartment to question her about a murder/mutilation that happened in her garden. The detective becomes interested in her and they date and end up at her place when she notices that he has the odd tattoo. He tells her it is a membership in a private club. She is afraid from then on that he is the killer, but that doesn't stop her from bedding him. We are also supposed to belive he is the killer. Problem is, he is clearly a man who understands women and likes pleasuring them -- not good serial killer material. Since we already know the tattoo is a membership badge in some club, the killer has to be someone he knows well, and their is only one such character in the film. Thus, the real identity of the killer is given away by the half way point.

Where the film was at all interesting was in the glimpses of the relationship of the two very different sisters, and Ryan's lust battling with her reticence. Ryan does a dark full frontal, and has several scenes of breast exposure. Leigh is seen in a transparent bra, and we have breasts from a stripper. IMDB readers have this at 5.2 of 10, and it grossed a little over a third of the $12M budget. The DP showed real talent and style when not forced to work in dark rooms, and the acting was very good, but there was not 119 minutes of story in this film. C-.

Some .wmv film clips

• I'm still missing the 80s. Here's Helen Mirren doing about a gazillion frontal nude scenes in Hussy.

• and here is Mirren, a nudity hall-of-famer for sure, providing even more frontal nudity, this time just walking around in broad daylight, in Savage Messiah (clip 1, clip 2, clip 3)

UPDATES:

• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated.
• There are eight updated volumes in Volume P. Some substantial updates.

OTHER CRAP:

• This is a pretty cool article about how birds navigate. It turns out they fly pretty much the same as humans did in the early days of aircraft, by using ground landmarks, especially roads and railways, even when doing so leads them on a convoluted, meandering, or indirect flight. Only when they are in new territory do they use the sun. In other words "as the crow flies" should not mean "straight and direct".
• Janet had planned the stunt at least two weeks in advance, say her outfitters.
• Time Wasters - play Scrabble solo online
• The Dot Eaters - Classic Video Game History 101
• Just who are those crazy guys who write viruses, worms, and malware?
• Here's the trailer for A Foreign Affair, with David Arquette and Tim Blake Nelson. Arquette and Nelson - an Ibsen play, perhaps? Probably not. "Two Midwest brothers urgently need household help. They decide to join a matchmaking trip to Russia to find and bring home a traditional housewife."
• Trailer for Connie and Carla , the comedy from that Greek Wedding woman. Here's the official description: "Vardalos and Collette play Connie and Carla, two struggling Chicago dinner theater performers who accidentally witness a mafia hit... and who subsequently hit the road, running for their lives. Assuming the killers will never look for them in a place devoid of culture, the pair head to Los Angeles, where they assume new identities and find their middling talent at song and dance perfectly suited to new careers-as drag queens. Much to their surprise, they inadvertently become the toast of the cabaret circuit."
• I told you this would change several more times. Janet back in the Grammys
• Lots of nekkid content in the free portion of Met Mag
• The first woman gets the ax from The Donald. Unfortunately, it was our fav - former softcore star Kristi Frank.
• Ya gotta love The Smoking Gun. Bobby Knight may not have been suspended, but Chancellor Smith had to enter his version of the incident into Knight's file. The Smoking Gun obtained that internal memo from Texas Tech's general counsel via the open records law.
• As the Smoking Gun put it, "Next to the third and final installment of Robert Caro's Lyndon B. Johnson opus, TSG can think of no other biographical work more eagerly anticipated than Paris Hilton's memoir, 'Tongue-in-Chic: Paris Hilton's Confessions of an Heiress.' "The Smoking Gun has obtained the book proposal from the Mark Twain of her generation.
• Jon Stewart analyzes Tittygate, or as he calls it "Teatgate".
• The Daily Show - analyzes the second Civil War in the South Carolina primary.
• Jon Stewart -The Daily Show - Wolfowitz visits Iraq.
• NBC's Tim Russert will do a full hour of Meet the Press with President Bush one-on-one this Sunday.
• A large gallery of still captures from Eurotrip, including some nudity!
• Chat with Satan. (Some AI bot. Pretty cool)
• Some comedy clips from Chapelle's Show
• Paris Hilton sues over her internet sex tape. I followed that story, but I can't figure out who she is suing - some company in Panama.
• Miracle's score at Metacritic is a 65, including recommendations from Lisa Schwartzbaum and Roger Ebert, and near-universal praise for Kurt Russell in the lead.
• Rotten Tomatoes estimates that 70% of the reviews of Miracle are positive.
• Jim Craig, goalie for the 1980 US Hockey team, comments on the authenticity of "Miracle"
• Nicholson, Keaton happy with their nude scenes in Something's Gotta Give.
• To infinity and beyond! Dave Barry evaluates Bush's mission to Mars. "In 1938, Orson Welles did a radio broadcast about invading Martians landing in New Jersey. The broadcast created a nationwide panic, although it was, of course, a hoax. The Martians actually landed in Philadelphia, where many still reside, as evidenced by U.S. Senator Arlen Specter."
• President Bush names objective, impartial, bipartisan panel members to study the failings of American intelligence, tentatively-titled The Committee to Blame Clinton. Let me see if I understand this. President Bush needs a team of experts to find the country's source of inadequate intelligence? Jay Leno should be milking that for weeks.
• TRIVIA: Which country currently imprisons the highest percentage of its population?
• Here's the full-length trailer for Dawn of the Dead. Amazingly enough, this looks like it might be good.
• Get the "Dishonest Dubya" Lying Action Figure - now with real pretzel-choking action.
• The Smoking Gun presents the lawsuit against Janet Jackson's breast.
• Alleged Sept. 11 plotter acquitted in Germany
• The trailer for Imagining Argentina. This is the Emma Thompson film that provoked jeering and laughter at Venice. The Sun Herald reviewed it as follows:

  The audience, unsettled by an unusually graphic rape scene involving Thompson, rocked with laughter at cut-in shots of her husband, played by Antonio Banderas, staring moodily into the middle distance as he strummed his guitar. David Gritten, a UK newspaper film writer who was in the Venice audience, said: "There was loud booing, and the Italians love to boo anyway, but this really was the worst I've ever heard. The problem was that Banderas strumming the guitar looked so anti-climactic. "Another film with Banderas in it had just been released in Venice, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, in which he plays a guitar-playing mariachi, so it rather looked as if here was El Mariachi again, strolling into this dreadful scene of human rights abuses."

• Eavesdropping on the White House. Some of the more colorful things recorded by the White House taping system. Question: did Lyndon ever make it through a conversation without mentioning his 'nads or his bumhole?
• Arena Football cheerleaders. The Fabulous Flames Roster - cheer for the Indiana Firebirds
• The White House PATRIOT REGISTRATION. "Because non-traitors have nothing to hide"
• FindVideos.com. Find videos, watch 'em, find the official site, buy 'em. Very useful site.
• NOSTALGIA: RadioLovers.com - Old Time Radio Shows. This is a tremendous resource for those of you still interested in the brief Age of Radio. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Well, there's the Shadow, and I think Dick Cheney has a pretty good idea.
• Aussie feds raid Kazaa.
• All about "RateMyTeachers.com". Controversial Web Site Lets Students Rate Teachers.
• You think he's mellowed? Hell, no. His new film proves that John Waters is still as fucked-up as ever. In fact, it seems that filmdom's #1 attention whore is returning to his scatological roots.
• Helmets for everyone, says Weekly World News: "In a bold and determined move to protect the American public from all possible harm, the Bush administration wants the Pentagon and State Department to issue surplus Army helmets to every man, woman and child in the country -- to save us from falling meteorites."
• IMDb User Ratings for You Got Served (2004) show that it is currently rated 1.2 out of 10 (one is the lowest possible rating). IMDb's top 100 votes call it a perfect 1.0!! 83% of the voters have given it the lowest possible rating.
• To me there is something very fitting about the fact that The Guardian, the world's most gullible newspaper, is deluded into printing an article about the Top 10 modern delusions, many of which are not explained, are misrepresented, or are not delusions at all!
• The Economist Intelligence Unit has published a new survey assessing the level of hardship for expatriates in 130 cities. Melbourne and Vancouver are the best places to be assigned as an ex-pat, Port Moresby is the worst. (I worked in Port Moresby for a while.)
• A woman is suing Janet Jackson for exposing her breast during last week's Super Bowl, claiming to be "seriously injured" by the incident. My God, what has Janet done? That poor women was almost too weak to sue.
• NBC 'Hires' Trump for 2nd Season of Reality Show
• INTERNET TRIVIA: What was the original origin of the U.S. Presidents' IQ hoax?
• School board: No school credit for working at Hooters. That sounds like Junior Achievement to me.
• I love this headline in an Aussie newspaper: Jews OK Mel's film. I thought Jews loved all of Mel Brooks's films.
• Jennifer Aniston will star in a Warner Bros. feature comedy about a woman who believes her family inspired the characters in The Graduate. Clooney and Soderbergh are producing.
• Anthony Minghella announces the next version of his one and only movie theme. Variety says it is "a surreal psychological thriller about an accident-prone 9-year-old problem child lying in a deep coma and the doctor who cares for him". How many times is he going to that well? Hey kids, write your own Anthony Minghella movie. Just fill in the blanks. "It's about an unconscious ________ and the ______ who cares for him." (Jude Law passed out from his wounds several times in Cold Mountain. He pretty much wandered through America passing out and being nursed back to health. As for the English Patient - no comment.)
• Only 8 more days to Valentine's Day. If you have $550,000, I don't think you can go wrong by giving her a decommissioned military submarine. We used to ask girls to watch the submarine races with us, but we were just kidding.
• The Weapons of Mass Destruction Program-Related Activities Song. Funny stuff.
• Dick Cheney pops his head out of his secure location and sees his own shadow - that means six more weeks of Winter.
• The entire 14 minute short, Fast Film, is online. "What makes Fast Film unique is that all its scenes were taken from 300 different feature films."
• A trailer is online for Bird In Hand: "about a bird watcher who goes through great lengths to get the snapshot he wants"
• GALLUP: Which high-profile trials are Americans interested in? The only one high on the radar right now is Saddam. 92% iof Americans are interested, and 94% of those polled think Saddam is probably or definitely guilty, as compared to 42% for Kobe Bryant.
• Baby born with 2nd head (with picture)
• Charisma-Carpenter.com says: "Charisma Carpenter in Playboy? Yes, you heard it here first. Word on the street is Charisma may do a cover shot and inside pictorial in an issue tentatively scheduled for a late spring or early summer release"

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

1. Couple of classics today. Star Trek's Marina Sirtis in The Wicked Lady. (.avi version, .wmv version)

2. And Isabelle Rossellini in Blue Velvet. (.avi version, .wmv version)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

• Romy Schneider and Jane Birkin in scenes from "La Mouton enragé" aka "Love at the Top" (1974). Schneider is topless and Birkin shows all 3 B's.

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington (1977) is a cinematic time capsule. Think of an actor or actress who you saw every week on television in the 70's but whose name you just cannot remember. He or she is in this movie. The guy who played Daren Stevens's boss on Bewitched (both Darens, same boss)? He's in it. The frenetic corporal on F Troop? In it. George Hamilton? Wait, his name we remembered. But he's in it, anyway. Billy Frickin' Barty is in it.... as a mafia don... whose henchmen pick him up so he can be at eye level with those to whom he speaks. Anyone who was almost someone but didn't have that little someting extra made it into this second enstallment of the Happy Hooker series.

Even the babes who give up some goodies you might recognize from other places... in which they gave up some goodies.

Point 1: Joey Heatherton takes over from Lynn Redgrave as Xaviera Hollander. The plot goes that she has become the respectable queen of style in the Western world. And one of her proteges has gone missing from her job in Washington, D.C. So she travels to testify about something or other and winds up telling stories about her other employees. And yada, yada, yada. You'll recognize Joey because she gave up upper goodies in Bluebeard, but here she wears dresses with plunging necklines, nothing more.

• Joey Heatherton

Point 2: Two of Xaviera's girls... including the one who has gone missing... are played by former Hefmates. They are Miss May for 1973, Bonnie Large, and for 1974, Pamela Zinszer. They show hooters only, but enjoy the view because so far as I can tell this was the only movie in which either appeared, much less revealed anything interesting.

• Bonnie Large
• Pamela Zinszer

Point 3: Raven Delacroix, a staple of 70's nudie movies, has a short, uncredited part. Louisa Moritz, another frequently nekkid babe, has an equally short but credited role. Both show boobs and bum

• Raven Delacroix
• Louisa Moritz

Points 4: Cissie Cameron-Colpitts, Dawn Clark and Marilyn Joi provide the bulk of the exposure. Cissie was topless in Billy Jack, that iconic movie of the early 70's, Dawn was tres nekkid in Hollywood Knights and Marilyn Joi disrobed in movies ranging from one of the Ilsa, Wicked Somebody from Somewhere series to Cheerleader's Wild Weekend. You'd never guess the names, but you might recognize the... uh, faces.

• Cissie Cameron-Colpitts
• Dawn Clark
• Marilyn Joi (1, 2)

Point 5: Okay, this is a tough one. Linda Gildersleeve shows up, disrobes and proceeds to sport hump on the lunch counter of her local diner. You do not want to know why. Linda, if you recall, was nekkid about half the time in Sun Bunnies and went topless in Cinderella.

• Linda Gildersleeve

Okay, there IS one woman who removes her top for what I'm guessing is the only time on-screen. Her name is Dana Baker and she is a cutie.

• Dana Baker

So that does for The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington. This is a movie filled with the detritus of Hollywood, a B movie to end all B movies, or rather, The Mother of All B Movies. And in case you miss the point of the whole enterprise, the Washington Monument, phallic symbol par excellence, spends as much time on screen as any of the characters.

"Thirteen"
Every parent of a young teen should watch this movie. Not always pleasant, but realistic and hard-hitting, it tells the story of 13 year-old Tracy, a normal well-adjusted teen, getting good grades, who befriends wild, partying Evie, and becomes involved in her destructive life-style.

Tracy's Mother, divorced and getting little help from Tracy's Father, struggles desperately to cope with her daughter's changed personality, but Tracy continues a downward spiral.

This excellent movie should provide a wake-up call for many parents who don't pay enough attention to their younger teens and the people they befriend. Kids grow up much faster today and what parents did in their late teens, their children are now experiencing in their early teens.

I'm also impressed when older actresses are willing to do nudity when it's appropriate to the story, as it was in this case. Holly Hunter did an outstanding job as the overwhelmed mother.

• Holly Hunter

• Catya Sassoon topless, and showing off some of the most fake robo-hooters ever.
  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
• Catya Sassoon videos (.wmv format). Check out #3 to see the fake'uns in action. It's a karate scene and they NEVER move!
  (1, 2, 3)

  
  

• Melissa Moore, topless and a little rear nudity in a shower scene.
  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
• Melissa Moore videos (.wmv format) (1, 2)

  
  

• Catya Sassoon and Melissa Moore together in the shower scene. Sassoon goes frontal. (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Catya Sassoon and Melissa Moore video (.wmv format)

KIDMAN'S GLAMOUR MAY HAVE SUNK OSCAR CHANCES
Not Renee Zellweger's Problem - WENN Celebrity News claims that Nicole Kidman's looks in "Cold Mountain" may be what hurt its Oscar chances. An insider said that during editing, they debated digitally adding smudges to her face because she looked more like a cover girl than a Civil War-era farm woman. But time and cost ruled it out. They think her incongruous glamour hurt the film's credibility so much, it may have cost it Best Picture.