Wednesday

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The War Bride

(2001)

The War Bride is a UK drama concerning a young British woman (Anna Friel), who married a Canadian soldier, and soon finds herself stranded on a subsistence farm in the middle of the Alberta prairie with her daughter, her tough conservative mother-in-law, and a sister-in-law who is crippled by polio. The husband's family doesn't approve of how Anna dresses, they think she acts like a floozy, and they resent the fact that she now gets her husband's pay, which they believe to be rightfully theirs. The situation is further strained by the anger of the husband's ex girlfriend, and the sister-in-law's mistaken belief that Anna is after the young man she has her eyes on.  She has many hurdles to overcome to become accepted, and her husband returns deeply affected by the war.

The story has a basis in fact, as many Americans and Canadians married British girls while in the service. A close friend of my father ducked into a pub in the fog just in time for an air raid. He and the pub owner's daughter ended up in the shelter together, and got married. He returned to the states with a British bride that he had failed to mention to his fiancee back home.

This is my sort of story, and the acting is fine, but there is simply not enough "there" there. Once one reads the premise there is no need to watch the movie. Just as Anna Friel was depressed and bored to death in the middle of the Alberta plains, so was I.

IMDb readers say 6.9, and the film garnered two Genies and several nominations.

Anna Friel shows a breast in the bath, then full frontal when she gets out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Epicenter

(2000)

Today we have a very forgettable movie "Epicenter."

This one starred former porn star Traci Lords who showed nothing but a little leg.

Boobage from Daniela Nane as she gets it on with her guy. Caps and a clip.

 An unknown stripper with some far off full frontal.

 

Illegal in Blue

(1995)

Cleanse the palate with some bonus caps of Stacey Dash in "Illegal in Blue". Check out the nipple standing at attention.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

"Friends"

Lisa Kudrow

Episode 217-218

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My next group comes from a disk called Rachel's Angels, which was said to be written and directed by Rachel Elizabeth. Written? Really? No one says a mofoing word. Bunch of gals, most of them silicone sisters, get rid of their clothes and wriggle around a whole lot. So WTF did she write? Words of encouragement? The address of the plastic surgeon who did her boob job? A post-it note on the fridge they all used during the taping? I am confused.

So why did I bother with this thing? It has a mess of Hefmates. Got Audra Lynn and Divini Rae and Ava Fabian...all of whom have done a film or two...and Heather Carolin. And then there is Sheila Levell and Jamie Hammer, who've also did some acting of a sort.  Elizabeth Kelly and Rachel Elizabeth fill out the list of strippers and wigglers. Audra was impressive, Divini was divine and the underused Heather was yummy. The others I could have taken or left. Rachel had a couple of explicit gynocam views. Everyone else was restrained in that department.

Ava Fabian's appearance was unwise. She must have been 45 when this thing was filmed. Once upon a time, 20 years ago, she was a spectacular beauty and there are times in this disk you can still see the wonders of her face. And she has kept in great shape. But, boys, she is old by anyone's definition and the skin and the bod just aren't what they used to be. I kept thinking of Chris Rock's comment about Janet Jackson's Super Bowl malfunction - a 20-yr-old tittie? That's everybody's tittie. A 40yr-old tittie? That's just your man's tittie. Ava should keep hers under wraps except for her man.

This is the fourth Peach DVD I have capped and maybe it's time to draw some general conclusions. From the perspective of someone who goes through a disk frame by frame I can see three things go into making a first-rate DVD - 1) Lots of great looking gals; 2) Competent filmmaking skills. You know, lighting and framing and all that sorta stuff you learn in a film course at your local junior college; 3) DVD rendering that compresses the whole thing so that motion chatter and all that sorta mess is missing. In that context, Peach gets the first part dead right and the last two dead wrong. In disk after disk and scene after scene, the lighting sucks and the cinematographic skills are nonexistent. Must of us did a better job filming Christmas morning. And then all of us who try it do a way better job making DVDs than these bozos. They screw up so often and results in such an egregious result that you gotta figure the people at Peach just don't give a flying fuck. Don't care about the product, don't care about the audience.

Too bad. Because their disks could be contenders. Instead, they are just bums. Face it, Charlie, they're just bums.

 

Today's featured performer: Divini Rae

Divini Rae was Hefmate for Dec 2003.  She is said tobe the first Alaskan woman with a staple in her navel and, according to Wikipedia (aka, the source of all knowledge) her real name is Divini Rae Sorenson.  In Rachel's Angels she uses the name MIcah Miller.  In addition to this disk and a few Mystique DVDs she has played recurring characters in cable series Hotel Erotica Cabo and The Erotica Traveler.  Her website claims she is Howard Stern's favorite Hefmate, apparently because she got away from the tame stuff that Hef throws our way and launched herself into some very revealing stuff posing for Suze Randall and then for her own website.  Divini had aftermarket equipment already installed when Rachel's Angels was made but in the year or so since that time the first enhanced pair was replaced by a set of mega Jumbo Jacks.  Too frickin bad.  The gal is a beauty with an exuberant
body, complete with a caboose to melt the heart. Capturing her stuff was a pleasure.  Sticking together the images a joy.  She is more than a bit too zaftig for my tastes but she has the right equipment to keep most lads very interested.

 

Film clips


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nias Mal

(2007)

IMDb summary:

"The ultimate rebel, Adela, (Martha Higareda) boasts three tattoos, a body piercing and a recent arrest for alleged indecent behavior. Petrified that his beloved daughter will spoil his chances of becoming the next governor of Mexico City, Adela's father has enrolled her in the only remaining charm school for young ladies in the city. Maca Ribera guarantees that her school can turn any young girl into a "domestic goddess" ... that is until she meets Adela. The two determined women face-off in a battle of wills that turns the school and its colorful bunch of school-mates upside down when Maca attempts to transform the irreverent Adela into a suitable First Daughter."

Martha Higareda

Maria Aura

 

Ximena Sarinana

Diana Golden

Alejandra Adame

 

Camila Sodi

 

 

 

 

 

 


Good Luck Chuck

(2007)

 

Chelan Simmons

Crystal Lowe

Carrie Fleming

Yasmine Vox

Elizabeth Schnitzker

Michelle Andrew

Annie Wood

Eliza Bayne

Tammy Morris

 

Kari-Ann Wood

Victoria Bidewell

Camille Atebe

Jessica Olafson

Susan McLellan

Simone Bailly

Viviana Dal Cengio

Zara Taylor

Lindsay Maxwell as McTitty

 

 

 

 

 

A short film clip of rare nudity from Eileen Brennan. The film is Scarecrow.

A film clip of Jo Guest on Men & Motors (sample right)

A film clip of Nicole Kidman in Birthday Girl (sample right)

Rumer Willis. The daughter of Bruce and Demi is trying to get her own career going. Wanna feel old? She will turn 20 this year. Her mom never had breasts like that until inspired by the miracles of modern medicine.
Two Hong Kong stars caught in a naughty sex film scandal ... Gillian Cheung ...
 ... and the hairy Cecelia Cheung
Mariah Carey out and about. No nudity, but the girl looks good.

Here is an HDTV film clip of Kate Winslet in Little Children.

 Sample captures from this clip are below. The last one is a must-see.