Black Widow (1987) stars Theresa Russell as a woman who marries rich older men, kills them in ways that are undetectable, collects their money, then disappears from site, only to start another conquest. Debra Winger is a Federal investigator who does research an analysis, notices a trend, and gets permission to go after the black widow.

The chase leads Winger to Seattle, where the murder happens in spite of her efforts, and then to Hawaii. Seems she has no hard evidence, so sets about to trap Russell before she can kill again. Russell's portrayal is interesting in that she seems to have some genuine feelings for all the men that she has killed. She shows buns and the side of a breast in front of a fireplace, then is completely nude swimming in a pool at night. Though there is some distortion in all of the frames, all of her body parts are visible eventually.

IMDB readers have this at 6.2 of 10. Ebert awards 2 1/2 stars in an interesting review that talks about a much better way to take the plot and end the film. I also felt a little cheated by the ending. This is in the C to C- range, but given the talent and initial premise, it could have been much more.

No te fallaré  (2001)

Imagine a Dawson's Creek reunion movie done three years after the show ended, showing all the main characters in brief cameos, but really only focusing on, let's say Dawson and Joey. Imagine that it is done in the style of a nighttime soap opera, throw in some moody lighting and sadistic gangsters, ala Miami Vice, add some breasts, et voila, you'd have an English version of this Spanish-language movie based on a popular TV series about high school students in Spain.

Eva Santolaria is beautiful but lacking in warmth and approachability. She's beautiful like Laura Flynn Boyle, not like Michelle Pfeiffer. Liek LFB, she is painfully thin except for a nice chest.

As for the movie, skip it. It isn't even worth the watch if you speak Spanish.

Tuna capped this a long time ago in a widescreen version. It was recently released in a full screen version with a 20 minute "making of" documentary. That would normally be a "who cares" proposition, except that the full screen version was created from the full 35mm frame, so there is some additional nudity not in Tuna's widescreen caps, particularly in captures #2, #5, and #6.

• Eva Santolaria (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Mailbox

Uncle Scoop,

When I first saw Justin Timberlake “dancing” on stage with Janet, I thought of how much of his act is stolen from Michael. Then I realized this is the closest Janet would ever get to performing with her brother again ...

... except that Justin has darker skin.

After Justin tore off Janet’s top, I thought to myself, “How lucky can that bastard get?” First, he gets to fuck Britney, then Cameron and now he gets to tear of Janet’s top in public.

D

OTHER CRAP:

• Matthew Perry is wasted away again in Margaritaville. Some people claim that there's a sitcom to blame ...
• The Germans will soon launch a game like an xxx-rated Sims
• "Hotel heiress Paris Hilton was thrown off a plane for trying to take a GOAT on board. The society babe, 21, also had a ferret when she turned up for the flight." I think she should file a sex discrimination suit. The airlines always let Richard Gere bring his goat and ferret.
• N'Sync Singer (not Timberwolf- another one) Dumped From Pro Bowl Show: "The NFL is changing the Pro Bowl's halftime show because of Janet Jackson's breast-baring at the Super Bowl. "
• Bikini Pics of American Idol finalist Lisa Wilson.
• A brief history of televised toplessness
• The Face on Janet Jackson's Nipple
• TRIVIA: What's the origin of "Kilroy was here"?
• She's out - she's in - she's out again. At last count, Janet is out of the Grammy awards. Expect that to change several more times.
• Jesse Ventura to teach at Harvard. Let me guess his subject. Quantum mechanics.
• Paris Hilton - the new Bert Parks? Ms. Hilton may host the Miss USA Pageant. The decision is in the hands of The Donald, who owns the pageant.
• Oscars' body expels member implicated in movie piracy scheme. Although they got a little confused at first and actually expelled movie pirate Johnny Depp, before they realized they were looking for movie pirates, and not movie pirates.
• Jon Stewart looks at the Super Tuesday Primaries.
• Revealed: the nationalities of the Guantanamo detainees 160 are Saudis. There are 85 Yemenis, 82 Pakistanis, 80 Afghanis, and one female singer from Iceland.
• Fingernail Tug-Of-War in Phil Spector Murder Case.
• For Bertolucci, the Subject Is Sex - all about The Dreamers, his new NC-17 film.
• A look inside Van Helsing, Great looking web site! Click on "the movie", then click on "a look inside", and you'll get to he documentary. Some of the buzz over the film has been lukewarm, but the look is impressive!
• Here are some details on the scene/lines cut from Gibson's Passion film. Sadly, they cut the part where Darth Vader reveals that he's Jesus's real father. They did leave the scene where Jesus walks away from the Crucifixion, his wounds disappear, his limp disappears, and we find out he's really Kyser Sose.
• Full of Shat. How to talk ... like ... Ssssssssssssss-hatner.
• KUCINICH'S NAKED BREAST FAILS TO SWAY VOTERS. Stripping on C-Span2 Impressed Few, Exit Polls Suggest.
• Roger Stone, the longtime Republican operative who shut down the Miami-Dade County recount and helped make George W. Bush president in 2000, is financing, staffing, and orchestrating the presidential campaign of Reverend Al Sharpton. But why? I'm not sure how reliable the facts and theories are, but it's an interesting story.
• Whatever happened to Car Wash movies?
• Miserable Melodies. The worst songs of all time. Listen and rate them. Only one Shatner song in the top 10. He had some tough competition.
• X-Men 3 should come out in 2005, according to Captain Picard.
• The DudeMan tells you which celebs have VD.
• Play 20 questions against Artificial Intelligence
• List of Internet Accessible Machines - web cams, remote control sites, scientific instruments, and more.
• One good thing about arena football - more cheerleaders. Here is the first group: Arizona Rattlers' SideWinders Dance Team
• Shaq, Kidd Lead List of All-Star Reserves, LeBron will have to wait 'til next year.
• The history of "the grudge match"
• One of the all-time great comedy sketches. The Man Show sends a kid to buy booze and porn with a fake ID.
• Superhero comics don't get any better than Superstalin vs Hitlerman.
• BAD TASTE: Still looking for a Valentine's Day Gift? I don't think you can go wrong with a Baby Jesus Butt-Plug.
• It seems that Vin Diesel will return for The Fast and the Furious 3.
• There is now a "making of " featurette available on The Alamo
• Here's a clip from Jersey Girl , the Kevin Smith movie with Affleck, J-Lo and Liv Tyler.
• Zoo keepers have named a baby camel Jordan - because it was born 'flat' but is expected to develop two large humps.
• How much do you know about sex in the movies?
• Janet Jackson's breast-baring incident has generated as much web search activity as the 11 September attacks on America.
• Editorial cartoons- Janet Jackson and the Superbowl
• ABC wants to impose a delay on its telecast of the Oscars, so that inappropriate material can be edited out. I think we should also time-delay all live news telecasts of natural disasters, in case a tornado should expose someone's breast.
• The Smoking Gun has Beyonce's backstage demands.
• Pseudo-celebrity Jordan sensationally told her pseudo-celebrity jungle pals she had an affair with David Beckham. In other news, her breasts still have not exploded.
• Gilligan's Island turns 40. With yesterday's pics of Gilligan, The Professor and Mary Anne.
• The best pictures from the German Tabloid "Bild".
• Maybe worth a bookmark. SuperiorPics.com - Your Source for Free High Quality Celebrity (non-nude) Pictures
• Keith Olbermann reported last night that two sources, one in television entertainment and one in television sports, say that long before the Super Bowl, they were informed that Janet Jackson's breast or breasts would be bared, briefly, during the halftime show.
• Angela Lansbury shows that looks are deceiving. If you don't know in advance that Angela Lansbury appears in “The Blackwater Lightship,” the new “Hallmark Hall of Fame” presentation, you may never recognize her.
• Skeletor exits NBC News.
• John Belushi will finally get a Hollywood star.
• Marino resigns as Dolphins VP. He felt frustrated that he couldn't solve that whole pesky Snowflake/Ray Finkel thing.
• MyDoom DoS attack leaves Microsoft unaffected.
• You know that 'Natural' Viagra alternative sold on the internet? - it's actually Viagra!
• Famous pop princess and mouseketeer wants to be a Bond girl to lend a 007-style rocket boost to her acting career. She can't decide whether she'll be Ivana Tension or Anita Voicecoach.
• Former Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten says "fucking cunts" on live TV
• BUSTED! Local pyrotechnician abreast of Janet-Justin antic: "'They told me that Justin Timberlake was going to rip off her jacket at the end of the show and that they needed a pyrotechnic effect to highlight it,' he said. "
• The tragic biography of James L. "Mr." Potatohead
• Outrageous celebrity antics from Igor Stravinsky to Janet Jackson!
• What if the bible had been written on IRC?
• Topless gymnastics.
• Here are four more free videos from Playboy Plus!

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

1. An incredible find from Shiloh! Hot lesbian scene between Nicole Ari Parker (Soul Food) and Lauren Holloman (Angel, The L Word) in an obscure 1993 movie called The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love. Both were in their very early 20s at the time, but Parker already had those massive mams.

• .avi version

• .wmv version (Part 1, Part 2)

2. And one more look at Mary-Louise Parker's full frontal and rear nudity in Angels in America. (.avi version, .wmv version)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Heather Graham
(1, 2, 3, 4)

Yep, Heather Graham in a comedy can only mean one thing, yeah, she gets down to her bra and panties or naked and we don't see anything. Yet, she gets naked in crappy serious films like Killing Me Softly (not that I'm complaining). Actually, in one bit, you can actually see the tape over her nipple.

And yeah, Minnie in undies ain't that bad either.

Monica Keena

Kelly Rowland

TWO MORE RIDICULOUS FOX REALITY SHOWS
First, Remove Their Huge Beaks - Fox is planning two more reality shows of questionable taste. In "The Swan," 18 "ugly duckling" female contestants will get extreme plastic surgery makeovers and three-month emotional and physical reconditioning sessions, then compete in a two-hour beauty pageant. Another twist: they won't be allowed to see their own new faces in a mirror until after the beauty contest. * But they will be able to tell who has the biggest breasts, so they'll know who'll win. * Another twist: they have to do their own makeup. * Other than the mirror thing, this is exactly like every other beauty pageant. * Know who else can't look at himself in the mirror? The guy who thinks up these reality shows.

She Likes Muscular, Soap Opera Types - On "Playing It Straight," a female contestant will test her "gaydar" by dating 14 bachelors, some of whom are gay guys pretending to be straight. She has to pick a straight man to win $1 million, but if she picks a gay one, he gets the money. * To make it really confusing, one of the guys is Sean Hayes from "Will & Grace." * And all the straight men have to get a "Queer Eye" makeover first. * Every single girl in Los Angeles has the exact same problem to deal with. * She'll have to weed out the ones who only watched the Super Bowl to see Janet Jackson's choreography.

SUPER BOWL SPARKS GRAMMY CAUTION
And Janet Will Wear A Rip-Away Burqa - Following the Super Bowl uproar, CBS will air Sunday's Grammy Awards with what they called a new "enhanced five-second tape delay." This will allow them to edit out not only audio, but video as well. * So they won't have to keep Li'l Kim nailed inside a refrigerator crate until it's over. * And to be extra safe, they're putting duct tape over Bono's mouth.

Now, There's An Idea! - But the Grammy producers rejected calls to drop Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake from the show, telling E! Online, "If we took everyone who is controversial off the show, no one would perform." * Nobody but people with actual musical talent, and then the show would only be 15 minutes long. * There's no way you can keep all the boobs off the Grammy Awards.

BRITNEY TO CONCENTRATE ON ACTING
Step One: Pose For Playboy - WENN celebrity news reports that sales of Britney Spears' last album were so mediocre, she plans to spend the next couple of years concentrating on her acting career. Her first goal is to be a Bond girl. * But does she really have the acting talent to fill the shoes of Denise Richards? * Britney can't even act well enough to convince people she's really singing at her own concerts. * Compared to her last movie, her last album was a raging success.