Personal Note from Tuna

By the time you read this, I will be having surgery (Radical Nephrectomy) for a growth on my left kidney (Renal Cell Carcinoma). I expect three to four days in the hospital, a three to four week recovery, and complete cure. Images for a few days are ready and waiting, but there could be some period of time before I am recovered enough to sit at the computer where there will be no Tuna section. Trust me, I would rather be capping even bad films than having my kidney removed. I am sure Scoopy and Jr. will have no problem carrying on without me.

"10 to Midnight"

10 to Midnight (1983) is half slasher film, and half Bronson gets even. Someone is slashing young girls, and police Lieutenant Bronson is working the case. Things get more personal for him when his own daughter, a nursing student, becomes a target, stalked by the killer. Bronson tries to frame the killer, but is convinced to tell the truth by an idealistic partner, and is fired. At this point, Bronson starts stalking the killer.

June Gilbert, as the first victim seen, shows all three Bs. Former Heffer Ola Ray, as one of Bronson's daughter's roommates, shows breasts and buns, and, in the 4/3 version, the top of her bush. Patti Tippo shows breasts and bush, as a party coed having sex in a laundry room. Cynthia Reams, as a hooker, shows breasts wearing nothing but panties. Note that there is some confusion about the identity of "The Hooker." Some give credit to Jean Manson, who was also in the film. After comparing Manson's nipples with the ones of our hooker, I decided the hooker was Reams.

IMDB readers have this at 5.3 of 10. With better acting, this story could have been a much better film. Bronson coasted simply trying to look mean, and we say nearly no character development from anyone. The twist of Bronson becoming a stalker was a clever idea, but was wasted here. There was a very high body count, but not too much gore. The nudity was well lit. The DVD has both Widescreen and 4/3 versions, but nothing in the way of special features. The transfer was adequate, but a little grainy. D+

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  • Cynthia Reams (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • June Gilbert (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Ola Ray (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Patti Tippo (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Movies, Theater, and TV:

    Formula 51, aka The 51st State, is an attempt to make a big grandiose Tarantino/Richie film with colorful over-the-top gangsters, outrageous plot elements, exaggerated violence, and farcical humor. Despite the presence of Samuel L - my favorite performer - in a role tailor-made for him, and a budget of a gazillion dollars, the film is only fun once in a while, and I was happy to see the closing credits start to roll. Samuel L was entertaining, but not much else worked.

    • Emily Mortimer. She certainly has been removing her top a lot lately. (And sometimes her bottom as well, as she did in Lovely and Amazing) (1, 2, 3)

    Infested is, following the Robbins Rule (named after Tim Robbins' dialogue in The Player), The Big Chill meets The Swarm. And I'm not kidding even a little bit. I call this movie The Bug Chill. The first 15 minutes are virtually identical to The Big Chill (read the review for the details), then the yuppie angst is replaced by - superintelligent swarms of insects. Very silly stuff. One fourth horror film, one fourth horror film parody, one fourth an homage to Big Chill, the last fourth a parody of the Big Chill. Excellent topless scene, however

    • Nahanni Johnstone (1, 2, 3)



    • Kim Cattrall falls out in public. The Sun labels it "Sex and the Titty"- two very nice pictures
    • Jennifer Garner in a black peekaboo - from Celebrity Sleuth 23   (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Brittany Murphy in a black peekaboo - also from Celebrity Sleuth 23   (1, 2)
    • Jade Jagger just plain stark naked - also from Celebrity Sleuth 23  (1, 2)


    NOTE to PAL:

    I can't send mail to you. They all bounce back. Please contact me with another address. (If anyone else knows PAL's address, please get him this message)





    Something to look for.  Desperado sent in this note from a reader who wrote in response to his question, "did Jenny Agutter do any nudity after 1981?

    "As to nudity after 1981, I know that she was in an episode of Dream On (a GREAT series). The episode was called "No Deposit No Return," and she played a career woman that was trying to get pregnant and wanted the male star of the show to donate the sperm. There was a hot scene where she showed at his office, dropped her panties, and sat on the desk. He wimped out. I am not certain of the year and exactly how much she showed, but it was hot.

     I don't know about this issue, or about the total public demand, but I know that if they released the entire uncensored "Dream On" series on DVD, I would certainly buy it. I don't think I am alone. Plus if I buy it, you all get to see it too, right?


    Other crap


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Helen Shaver, shows everything in plain view. Scenes from "The Believers" (1987).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    A Lana Clarkson Tribute
    One of the big celeb story this week has been the murder B-movie favorite Lana Clarkson. Clarkson was best known for her roles in the 80's classics "Deathstalker" and "Barbarian Queen".

    As Scoop mentioned above, the Clarkson volume of the Naked Encyclopedia is now up to date. Here is a small sample of some of here topless career highlight.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    The Betsy (1978) should have been the best movie ever made, if you consider the cast. But it wasn't. Not by a long shot. Wasn't the best movie of 1978, wasn't even the best movie of May, 1978, probably wasn't even the best movie released May 10, 1978, since anything else released that day would have been better. Movie's so bad it howls at firetrucks. But it does have three nekkid babes of greater or lesser fame, and that makes it a winner in my book.

    Who we got? Well, you know by now, especially since I'm about the 37th person to have capped it.

    • Katherine Ross shows one tiny boob as she is supposed to be breast-feeding a baby, but if that's all the kid is gonna get for dinner it's going to bed hungry.

    • Lesley-Anne Down shows boobs and partial bum in two sport-humpin' scenes with the U. S. Marshall, himself (Tommy Lee Jones). (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Kathleen Beller, famous for having large hooties and for showing them off a couple of times, shows them off in a full-frontal skinny dip scene and a sport humpin' scene with the Marshall. The skinny dipping scene is another example of Hollywood's odd ethics with voyeurism. Tommy Lee's a-watchin' her every move but because he makes no attempt to hide it all just okey-fine with everybody. Love to hear that defense in court. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Lena Endre A subtle bit of nipple exposure in scenes from the Swedish movie "Ögat" (1998).

    Annalisa Montezemolo aka adult film star Wanda Curtis. Nice breast exposure as she gets in on in an Italian flick.

    Valentina Vargas
    (1, 2)

    Going back to 1986 for these 'caps from "The Name of the Rose".

    Emily Booth
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Excellent scans of the UK model/actress by Proteus. Here she is on the pages of the March 03 issue of Front Magazine.

    Here's the breakdown:

    Arm over boobs...Link #1 Partial bum...Links 3 and 5 See-thru breast exosure...Link #7 Inviting, open leg views...Links 4 and 6

    Monique van de Ven

    Dann takes a look at the Dutch film "Turkish Delight" (1973), directed by Paul Verhoeven. van de Ven shows everything, and the other assorted babes show breasts and bush.

    Fiona Lewis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Beautiful topless and frontal pics of the UK actress from a mid-70's issue of Lui magazine.

    Katie Price
    (1, 2)

    aka UK pin-up babe "Jordan". Here she is doing one of the things she does best...getting seen out in public wearing revealing clothing. See-thru paparazzi pics of her mega-big'uns.

    Michelle Hunziker UC99 catches the Swiss born actres shows off some impressive cleavage on German TV

    Ulya Volkova Paparazzi pic of one of the girls from the pop group T.A.T.U flashing her boobs. By the way, the caption reads: "Ulya Volkova - after the concert she drove off with a man (not named) in a Mercedes 600".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Women Can't Make Up Their Minds! - New York magazine columnist Amy Sohn reports that Anne Heche has become a symbol for a new group of women: "Hasbians," or lesbians who have returned to men. Many are women who went to college, fell in with a hip gay crowd, and "came out." Now, they say it was a "phase" they went through and they had to endure "coming out" to their family and friends a second time, this time as straight. These college hasbians are also called "LUGS," as in "Lesbians Until Graduation."

  • And then they marry lugs, as in "big lugs."
  • This is called "getting their M-S degree."
  • Seeing drunken, idiot guys barfing on Spring Break just turns them gay temporarily.
  • They come out, they go in, they come out again...Then they start to like the ol' in-and-out and turn straight for good.
  • You can tell you're an ex-lesbian when it suddenly dawns on you that watching LPGA tournaments is really boring.

    Whose Surrogate Sperm? - Details are emerging from an interview Michael Jackson gave to Martin Bashir of Britain's ITV1. He revealed that his third child is the result of his sperm and a white surrogate mother who doesn't even know him, and that the baby enjoyed being dangled over a balcony and responded by going "Eeeeee!"

  • Everyone responds to Michael Jackson by going "Eeeeee!"
  • That's what most people say when they're reminded that Michael Jackson has sperm.
  • That's baby talk for "Help meeeeee!"

    From "Eeeee!" To "Eewwww!" - Michael also said he's slept in a bed with many children, including the young Macaulay Culkin, and continues to do so, but it's all innocent. He said if visiting children want to share his bed, he lets them, and tucks them in and brings them hot milk and cookies. He said he loves children so much that if someone announced all the kids in the world were dead, he'd jump off a balcony and kill himself.

  • And all the way down, he'd go, "Eeeeee!"
  • So he now realizes that balconies are dangerous...Well, that's SOME progress.
  • If he keeps dangling them off balconies, someday, they WILL all be dead.
  • Macaulay would've been better off if he'd been left home alone.

    Michael further revealed that he wrote most of his hits while sitting in a "magic tree" at Neverland Ranch...

  • But he hasn't had any hits since he went out of his tree.
  • Also, he's thinking of re-releasing "Thriller" and shooting a new video for it...
  • It'll be cheaper because this time, he won't need monster makeup.