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Updates
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated
All Soul's Day (2005)
I covered the movie
yesterday. Yesterday's edition includes the nudity from two of the
three women who showed some flesh, but I held back Marisa Ramirez to
spend some time on the images in order to see what I could do with the
fancy lighting. She was (theoretically) naked, but the scene had a
deep greenish tint. I had some success at eliminating the tint, but I
have to declare the experiment worthless because it did nothing to
make the nudity any clearer.
Waiting ... (2005)
There is no female nudity in the unrated DVD of Waiting ..., except
for the same "disgusting bush" shot which was seen in the theatrical
version. One of the female characters flashes the guys, and her bush
has hair several inches thick, encrusted with pieces of lint and
cheese. The commentary makes it clear that (a) the scene was performed
by a double (b) the double was wearing a merkin. I did think the
movie was fairly amusing, but it's not really a movie at all, in the
sense that it really has no plot momentum or characters to relate
to. You've heard of "docudrama"? Well this is a "docucomedy" -
basically just 24 hours in the life of a restaurant like Bennigan's
or Applebee's. Given the film's structure, it's like listening to a
ninety minute stand-up riff on the service industry. The critics didn't like it, perhaps because
the humor is so juvenile and the film is so totally lacking in
character development and traditional narrative structure, but the
IMDb page drew many favorable comments from people who have actually
worked in such places. Based on the comments, you can
safely conclude that the scriptwriter probably got the details right,
even if the humor isn't your cup of tea. Imagine Office Space, except
with the focus moved to the restaurant next door instead of the
office. Somehow, astoundingly,
the producers managed to turn this into a full-featured 2-disk DVD.
They even have one complete of the film with a telestrator analysis,
as if the commentary were being done by John Madden.
Lie With Me (2006)
Here are a few more frames from the controversial Canadian film
featuring Lauren Lee Smith. It comes to commercial DVD a week from
Tuesday.
DVD info from Amazon
Other Crap:
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Here's the trailer for Nacho Libre, starring Jack
Black as a masked Mexican wrestler.
We're about to see Mohr-Cox
- I knew that would happen when Brokeback got the
Golden Globe
The L word is planning a fan-written episode
Katie Holmes's very pregnant tummy
Angelina Jolie's pregnant tummy
"Daily Show: Dan Bakkedahl's brave struggle to stick his
fist in his own mouth."
The Daily Show's Senior Legal Analyst Ed Helms guesses
that the Enron executives are going to use the race card.
The Daily Show Headlines:
"Apparently it's harder to bring Ken Lay to trial than it
is to invade two countries."
Submitter wrote:
"These are the drawings of Mohammed that are causing all
the stink in Europe. They are not that good really.
CNN refused to show them 'out of respect.' Self-censorship
in America, a minor victory for the Mullahs, I think."
- Scoop's note: I don't think CNN would have censored
these if they had been offensive to Christians or
Buddhists.
Punxsutawney Phil Gitmo-bound
- As he does every year on February 2, Punxsutawney
Phil emerged from his Pennsylvania burrow and sought his
shadow. This year, he saw it, meaning six more weeks of
winter. Then he saw the multiple shadows of law
enforcement personnel, meaning indefinite detention at
Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.
- "Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow every year
since 1999," said Stanley Nichols of the FBI's Lower
Mammalian Task Force. "Then we started looking into
these other groundhogs, and the same pattern emerged. We
got an illegal wiretap, and sure enough, they were
plotting to extend winter to influence our oil prices.
The trailer from Waist Deep, a new urban drama from
Vondie Curtis-Hall, starring Tyrese Gibson.
The trailer for Stay Alive, a new horror film.
- After the mysterious, brutal death of an old friend,
a group of teenagers find themselves in possession of
"Stay Alive," an ultra-realistic 3-D videogame based on
the spine-chilling true story of a 17th century
noblewoman known as "The Blood Countess." The gamers
don't know anything about the game other than they're
not supposed to have it... and they're dying to play it.
Not able to resist temptation, the group begins to play
the grisly game and soon a chilling connection is made -
they are each being murdered one-by-one in the same
method as the character they played in the game. As the
line between the game world and the real world
disappears, the group must find a way to defeat the
vicious and merciless Blood Countess, all the while
trying to... Stay Alive.
The trailer for Find Me Guilty, Sidney Lumet's new
movie.
- "Find Me Guilty" is based on the true story of
Giacomo "Jackie Dee" DiNorscio. After years of federal
investigation, 20 members of the New Jersey Lucchese
crime family are brought to court on 76 charges of
various crimes. Already in the midst of serving a
30-year sentence, Jackie is offered an opportunity to
shorten his time by testifying against many of his
closest friends. But Jackie refuses to betray his
"family," and goes so far as to defend himself in what
will ultimately become the longest criminal trial of its
time.
At first daunted by the complicated politics of the
courtroom, Jackie comfortably takes over the spotlight,
insisting "I'm no gangster... I'm a gagster." With his
sheer determination and unconditional loyalty, Jackie
never fails to surprise even those most skeptical of his
intentions. After 21 months, the Lucchese trial became
the longest in U.S. criminal history, and has continued
to stand out over the years as a unique moment in
courtroom history, featuring 20 defendants, 20 defense
attorneys, and unusually extensive summations; one
defense lawyer's closing statement ran for 5 days alone.
At times hilarious and at times deeply serious, the
trial and Jackie's subsequent experiences at this
crucial moment in the history of criminal prosecution
culminated in one of the most shocking and remarkable
verdicts in American judicial history.
- Sounds like a good theme for Lumet, but you may be
surprised to hear that the star of the film is Vin
Diesel
More woes for Tom Sizemore
Britney Spears has apparently announced that she is
pregnant with her second child, because Kevin
Federline is eager to ignore more children. |
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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"Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I have the Key"
Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I have the Key (1972) is a Giallo from Sergio Martino based on the Poe story, the Black Cat. Martina was always trying to push the envelope, and in this case, did so with a girl/girl scene between Anita Strindberg and Edwige Fenech. This film was a turning point in Fenech's career, in that it was the first time she played an evil character. Always before, she had been the innocent victim. Unfortunately, Martino worried to much about including some shock value, and not enough about creating some mystery and suspense.
As the film opens, there is a hippie gathering at a villa owned by Anita Strindberg and her husband the count. There are two highlights, First, he abuses Strindberg in front of all the guests, and second, a blond girl, Dalila Di Lazzaro in her first film, takes off all her clothes and dances on the table as everyone sings a pro feminist song. We then learn that hubby is impotent, and has been suffering from writes block for some time. A girl he had an appointment with is murdered, her throat slashed. Then the black maid, Angela La Vorgna, is murdered on the property. We are supposed to believe it is the count doing all of this, but that is too obvious, and it is no big surprise when he also dies. Edwige Fenech is an old acquaintance who invites herself over for a few weeks, and tries to come between Strindberg and the count. The black cat, Satan, is an evil presence and a menace to Strindberg and her pet doves throughout the film, and figures prominently in the ending.
We have breasts from Strindberg, breasts and buns from Fenech and Di Lazzaro and breasts and buns and possibly bush from La Vorgna. I like a good Giallo. Unfortunately, this one wasn't at all good. The nudity is the only reason to watch it, and it isn't nearly enough. D.
"The Hot Wives Club Day Two"
The Hot Wives Club Day Two (2002) has nudity from 4 other women in addition to Allysin Chaynes. Jana Kova and Monica Lee do a long girl/girl during the first visit to the club. Nadine Howser has two sex scenes, one in visit two, and one in visit four. Tracy Brown is seen in visit one and three in a robe, open in front, and just dances and caresses herself. She is the only woman in the film who does not show buns. Everyone else gives a three B performance.
The two sex scenes with Allysin Chaynes are in good light. The sex club sex scenes are dark, which would normally bother me, but they were artfully shot and more than long enough to eventually see every onch of each woman. In fact, therein lies the problem with this offering. Each sex scene is way too long, and becomes tedious. This is a C-. Lots of nudity and artistic photography, but with long tedious sex scenes. Interestingly, Allysin Chaynes is the only woman in the film with any lines at all.
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Today from the Ghost...Carrie Gonzales bares all 3 B's in a variety of scenes from the new series of "Hotel Erotica" episodes called "Hotel Erotica Cabo."
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As promised today we return to "Carnal Desires". I should mention it was never nominated for any Academy Awards. However it did have some rather attractive naked women.
Tamara Landry does the massage parlor guy because her husband has a girlfriend
Peggy Tentini plays the girlfriend, but she also gets boffed by the massage parlor guy.
I'm outta here, have to go find a babe to tie up for tomorrow's show.
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'Caps and comments by Dann:
"All Souls Day"
A zombie period piece, and a pretty good one, this 2005 Indy horror flick is much better than I expected.
Set first in the 1800's, then in the 1950's, then in present day, it tells the story of a mysterious Mexican village where Day of the Dead is not just an annual celebration, it's an event.
Many people died in an explosion in the village in the 1800's, and it wasn't an accident. Now, the dead come back each year to seek their revenge.
Well done, with surprisingly good acting and a decent script, this flick is exciting and fun to watch.
If Marisa Ramirez looks familiar, you may have caught her on TV. She's done a ton of television, including playing Gia on General Hospital and Port Charles. According to IMDB, this is her first movie.
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| Mircea Monroe |
Marisa Ramirez |
Danielle Burgio |
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From Starbase...here is former Pet Julie K. Smith baring breasts and bum while gettin' it on in scenes from "The Dallas Connection".
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Pat's comments in yellow...
DIRECTOR WHORING FOR AN OSCAR
Guy Another Day - New Zealand filmmaker Lee Tamahori, director of the 007
movie "Die Another Day," was arrested last month in a Hollywood
prostitution sting operation. But he didn't solicit a woman. He allegedly
got into an undercover cop's car while dressed in drag and offered to
perform a sex act for money. Tamahori also directed the action flick,
"Triple-X: State of the Union."
* I didn't see that, but now I understand why it was Triple-X.
* He's angling for a gig directing "Brokeback Mountain 2."
* Someone from Hollywood whoring himself out? Why is this news?
* He wants to direct a comedy next, and he was just hoping to meet Eddie
Murphy.
BORDELLO NEXT DOOR TO POLICE STATION
Springfield C.O.P.S.! - Ernest and Debra Watts of Concord, California,
pleaded no contest to running a brothel out of their apartment, right
across the street from the police station. Women would enter and leave all
day, while male clients arrived and left every half hour all day long.
They operated for a year, even advertising on the Internet, but police
didn't raid them until six months after an informant gave them up. The
couple were sentenced to home detention and moved to Las Vegas.
* Apartments are expensive there, but they'll be able to pay for it.
* In Vegas, they're actually running a bordello OUT of the police station.
* They're not allowed to work in any prostitution-related business, so
they'll open either a modeling agency or an escort service.
* It took six months because the cops had to wait for a time when the
mayor wasn't there.
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