Crime & Passion (2000) is a softcore, but one that dared to be a little different. This seems to have confused IMDB, as they list the title and have the CD cover, but all of the other information is about a totally different film. It stars Lauren Hays as the daughter of a very bad bad guy. She arranges to be kidnapped and taken to South America by two strippers (Nikki Fritz and LoriDawn Massuri). The two girls also wound the father and steal a large sum of money from him. Naturally, he sends every thug at his disposal to find them.

The plot is mainly explained in voice over, which is a turn-off, but it isn't much of a plot anyway. The sex scenes are numerous, both het and lesbian, and are hot. There is a lot of additional nudity, with flimsy excuses (such as an outdoor shower) for the women to pose for the camera. Where this is different from most of its genre is in the imagery. With beautiful sets and locations, good art direction, and creative photography, the film is visually stunning. For this reason, I give it high marks.

The three women named above are seen nude including pubes, and there is substantial nudity from at least two other women that I was unable to identify. I ended up with nearly 300 images from this film. Rather than produce a marathon set, I created 4 high res composite images, and selected the best/most representative frames of the 300 for a 4-up picture index series. This is the best way I could think of to show you the range of exposure without causing massive Internet congestion from downloading. If someone can identify the blonde, I will do an image or two of her and add it to the project. There are no thumbs for the 4 collages tonight. If you are a fan of the women, I am pretty sure you will enjoy the images.

Elya tried to get me to see this when it played its one week in Austin, and she was completely offended when I read the description and laughed out loud. I mean, geez, the summary makes it sound like such an arty-farty sobfest, and I figured it would have washed-out colors and vomit-inducing hand-held camcorder shots, and there would be about twenty people in the audience, all wearing berets and black turtlenecks and smoking Turkish cigarettes and looking like Ethan Hawke. Oh, yeah, I was mister sarcastic smarty pants and asked if maybe we could instead find something in Farsi about female infanticide, hopefully without subtitles

Then I probably dragged Elya to see something macho with plenty of car crashes and gunplay and fart jokes.

But I was wrong, and now I wish I had seen S&G in the theaters.

Although I still think it could use some fart jokes.

• Nia Roberts (1, 2, 3, 4)

I also did Manon of the Spring. It's about damned time they did a good transfer on one of these French classics! Only one brief nude scene, but it is Emmanuelle Beart, and she's naked as a jaybird.

• Emmanuelle Beart (1, 2, 3)

TomCat dropped the French babes and did that immortal cinema classic, Mackenna's Gold, the one in which all the desert-dwelling Indians always wear perfectly laundered and pressed clothing. Ah, Hollywood. I'm always ashamed to admit I thought this movie was dumb fun. Anyway, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar.

• Julie Newmar

The Third Chapter of Volume C is updated.

Nekkid again? That must mean Victoria Silvstedt, because she has posed in the buff for every mag except National Geographic and Guns & Ammo. Here she is wearing nothing but paint from the waist up.

And while we are on mates of the play, here are a few post-bunnymag pics of Carrie Wescott. (1, 2, 3) Used to have the cutest little bod to go with that adorable face, but now? Which prompts a rant of sorts. Voted for Nicole Kidman in EWS as the nude scene of 1999. Why? 1) Because I knew who she was before EWS. Well before. And so did everyone else. Anyone but us B movie crazies ever heard to Shannon Elizabeth before her movie, whatever the title was? 2) Because this was as revealing a sequence as you and I will ever see of Nicole, whereas Shannon has posed nekkid before, and has (and will) appear nekkid since. The odds of seeing a lot more of her in the buff? Very high and very good; 3) Nicole gave us a great view of that world-class fanny of hers, whereas Shannon showed off a much better than average but nowhere near Jennifer Connelly hooters. You and I know that's why she won. The hooters. Nicole is small, Shannon is not. That's what we guys go for, even though the business end of the deal is much further south. That's why the girls want to pump up the hooters. So youse guys who done voted for Shannon, it's your fault that every actress a B cup of smaller has someone shove styrofoam or spraycrete under the skin of her chest. You oughta be ashamed. Of course that's only my opinion; I could be right.

We end with the obligatory U. K ./page 3 babe, Ava Martinez. Doesn't sound English. Must be Welsh.

Margaret Markov

I do believe that #2 by Kuni is the my choice for Pic of the Day.