Macbeth (1971) is a Roman Polanski 140 minute adaption of Master William's play of murder, madness, intrigue and witchery. To Roman's credit, he stuck to Shakespeare's words, and made them intelligible, and he managed to get female nudity into a play with few women and no love scenes. Rather than three crones, he has a dozen, all naked, and Francesca Annis, as Lady Macbeath shows breasts and buns after going mad (in the out damned spot scene).
I was into the first half, but it started to drag, and I was glad to see it end. It is a dark and brooding tale, and the photography was dark and brooding, which was appropriate, but, at least for me, something of an eye strain. Of course, when seeing a Shakespeare screen adaptation, if you already know the play, it has no narrative quality left. IMDb readers have it at 7.4 of 10. It won a BAFTA for Best Costume. It is a worthy effort, and might be worth the watch if you enjoy Shakespeare, and especially if you have never seen Macbeth. C+
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Bad Girls (1994):
Bad Girls is a Western, basically in
the old-fashioned style, circa 1960. Imagine if you remade The Wild
Bunch with less violence, and some hot babes instead of Ernest
Man, now that I re-read that last
sentence, it sounds like a really good idea.
It isn't quite that hot. It does have
some titillation and some beautiful bare breasts provided by Drew
Barrymore, but it doesn't have enough nudity to be an exploitation
movie. On the other hand, it isn't tough enough to be a realistic
modern Western; and it isn't silly and fluffy enough to be laughably
bad. Oh, it does have some downright silly elements (the four women
always look fabulous, even after a whipping), but the film does take
itself seriously in general, just not to the point of gritty
The plot? Four prostitutes are forced
to flee a small town when one of them has to kill a john to save her
colleague from a beating. During their flight, they balance off
evading the Pinkertons, loving two honest settlers, and crossing
paths with a notorious outlaw band. Madeleine Stowe is the toughest
and most ruthless of the four gunslingin' supermodels, and she
delivers the one performance that convinces you she might really
have survived in the Old West. The other three provide more eye
candy than anything else, and are not especially credible either as
the successful prostitutes they are supposed to be when the film
begins, nor as the bloody gunfighters they end up. Andie McDowell,
for example, looks mighty silly totin' heavy artillery with her
fabulous hair, meticulous eye make-up, and perfectly manicured
hands. Silly, but gorgeous!
The film treads along familiar ground
except for the gender of the stars. The final shoot-out with the
desperados is in fact quite similar to the suicidal last stand of
The Wild Bunch, except that the violence is not graphically ugly,
and the members of the Wild Lady Bunch all survive their desperate
attack on a fortified outlaw hide-out with nothing so much as a bad
scratch, despite the outlaws' possession of a Gatling gun. (Their
victory has to do with one of them being a tough gunslinger, and
another having been a professional trick rider and marksman in Bison
Billy's Wild West Show.) Hey, I told you it wasn't gritty realism.
Verdict: kinda barely watchable. Not
very good, but not bad enough to watch it for laughs. Drew, however,
Drew Barrymore captures (1,
5) She is still an attractive woman, but in
1994 she was a babe and a half! Two words, both hubba.
Drew Barrymore clips (1,
2) (zipped .wmv's) . Damned good quality except I
missed the sound by a hair in clip 2, which doesn't matter much
since there is only one brief, three word statement: "Put it on".
God Hates Shrimp (And all other crustaceans). "When
Jesus died for your sins he was wearing a crown of thorns, not a
"Citizens Against Nude Juicebars and Pornography."
They'll let you have one or the other, but not both.
Man, they are really getting desperate with the guys who are
Super Bowl Ads Bring Back Icons of Yore
Most disgusting commercial ever?
After a big meal, you have to wait a while before swimming.
So how long after a jumbo burrito?
MTV has the latest on King Kong
Nikki Cox has broken off her engagement to Bobcat Goldthwait and
is dating another totally unfunny (but much better looking)
Johnny Depp is the best autograph signer in showbiz, Britney
Spears the worst.
Robert De Niro - does he need a career intervention? (I
guess you can argue that he no longer makes good movies, but he
seems to be gold at the box lately - he's had two #1 movies in the
past month.) "He's only making choices for the money," an exec
says. "This is also known as Gene Hackman's disease."
Paris is free to go. The Los Angeles County District
Attorney's Office said Wednesday that it would not file charges
against the celebutante for allegedly ripping off her own sex tape
from a West Hollywood newsstand because of a "lack of sufficient
evidence." (How could that be? There were eyewitnesses for sure,
and earlier reports said the incident was captured on tape)
- Headline of the day goes to the Sacramento State Hornet:
"Vagina candy sales benefit local groups." Sigh! I'm
old enough to remember a day when vagina sales used to benefit us
all globally instead of just some greedy local merchants.
The Daily Show observes: "In Iraq, routine security patrols have
become dangerously compromised by the power that is 'dance.'"
Paula Abdul talks to Jon Stewart about security at both American
Idol and the mall. Paula seems to have indulged in the
open bar in the Green Room.
The Daily Show's Samantha Bee talks about the privatization (or
abolition) of Social Security.
Star Trek: Enterprise has been cancelled.
Catherine Zeta-Jones is in talks to star in (and may produce)
Rachel's Holiday, an adaptation of the eponymous Marian
Keyes novel which treats the problems of drug addiction and rehab.
Sam Raimi talks about Spiderman 3.
Jacinda Barrett will replace Rachel McAdams as Zach Braff's
co-star in 'The Last Kiss'. It is a remake of the 2001
Italian movie, L'Ultimo bacio.
Nick Stahl and Claire Danes are definitely NOT in Terminator 4,
and Governor Arnold may be out as well.
Penis Hammered Off Baggage Handler Statue. "Trouble
began as soon as Baggage Handler, a statue of a suitcase-toting
naked man surrounded by luggage, was installed in a turnaround at
the marina in this lakeside resort town."
The trailer for Naked Fame
- "At the age of 40, wildly successful gay adult film star
Colton Ford decides to leave porn behind and to pursue his
dream: music. He definitely has the talent, but can he
successfully use his porn past to build up a new career as a
singer-songwriter? Christopher Long's documentary, 'Naked Fame,'
attempts to answer that question, following Colton and his life
partner, fellow adult film star Blake Harper, as Colton moves
from the film studio to the music recording studio. A
fascinating look at the porn world and music industry from the
initial conception of the first single to its recording and
release, this documentary explores the intimate inner-workings
of the music industry, capturing the intense emotional drama and
struggles involved in the pursuit of stardom against the stigma
of a porn star past."
Some B-Roll footage from The Island
- Michael Bay directs the futuristic action thriller with a
top-notch cast (Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon
Hounsou, Sean Bean, and Steve Buscemi.)
Lincoln Six-Echo (McGregor) is a resident of a seemingly utopian
but contained facility in the mid-21st century. Like all of the
inhabitants of this carefully controlled environment, Lincoln
hopes to be chosen to go to the "The Island"—reportedly the last
uncontaminated spot on the planet. But Lincoln soon discovers
that everything about his existence is a lie. He and all of the
other inhabitants of the facility are actually human clones
whose only purpose is to provide "spare parts" for their
original human counterparts. Realizing it is only a matter of
time before he is "harvested," Lincoln makes a daring escape
with a beautiful fellow resident named Jordan Two-Delta
(Johansson). Relentlessly pursued by the forces of the sinister
institute that once housed them, Lincoln and Jordan engage in a
race for their lives to literally meet their makers.
President Sends Congratulations to Radical Moderate Christine Todd
Whitman on the Publication of Her New Book, Sour Grapes of a
Marginalized Bimbo Nobody - (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
Gwyneth Paltrow eats naked in front of a mirror, and
other strange celebrity behaviors.
Nicole Kidman has been honoured at the annual Skinnies Awards.
No, she's not the skinniest chick in Hollywood. She has been cited
for having the nicest fair skin.
The top ten Arena Football teams after Week 1
PlayStation 2: A dozen movie-based games that will probably suck.
And the best fans in the NFL are ... (Hint: not
Rudy T is already fed up with the Lakers. (Phil Jackson
is contemplating a return.)
Women arrested for public nudity at a Kansas strip club.
Not MUCH of a strip club, then, is it? In other news, a Kansas
cheese shop owner was arrested for actually selling cheese.
'Notting Hill' star Rhys Ifans reportedly turned down an offer
from Jude Law and Sadie Frost to join their wife-swapping
sessions, although he might have considered it if he
could have slept with Sadie instead of Jude.
Canadian scientists have unmasked a new steroid designed to avoid
detection in standard drug tests.
College hoopster sinks a winning 90 foot shot at the buzzer.
Wrestling icon Lex Luger was arrested and charged with DUI,
driving on an expired tag, alteration of tag, no proof of
insurance and open container. His girlfriend, wrestling
icon "Miss Elizabeth", died at the home they shared in April 2003
from an overdose of pills and alcohol, and "Luger" was arrested
then on drug charges.
There are 4 sportswriters who have covered all 38 Super Bowls.
The Angel Light can reportedly see through walls, as if there was
no barrier at all.
Shaune Bagwell, model and Jeff's ex, is selling advertising on her
Dude, you're getting a dill! Remember Steven, The Dell
Dude? He now does Gay theater -- opens tonight in The Joy Of Gay
Sex -- (Shortened to "Joy") see his pic on the poster holding
hands with another cast member.
Betting odds on the Oscars.. These are not "for fun".
This is an offshore betting site, and they are actually offering
these live odds.
- The key trend they are reflecting is a loss of luster for
"Sideways." They have now installed Morgan Freeman as a favorite
over Thomas Haden Church, and Cate Blanchett as a favorite over
Virginia Madsen. Madsen and Church, both from Sideways, have
been touted as favorites by industry insiders.
- Jamie Foxx is a prohibitive favorite to win the best actor
statuette. (As well he should be! I wrote
elsewhere, "If Jamie does not win the Oscar, the
Academy should immediately be disbanded, and a new, more
sensible organization should be built upon its ruins."). A
winning one dollar bet on Jamie will get you only 14 cents
- Eastwood and Scorsese are in a dead heat for Best Director,
which marks the first time they have stood at the same height.
State of the Union Speeches Rarely Increase Presidential Support.
Despite high hopes, presidential State of the Union addresses have
rarely increased a president's public support. The only exception
in history was Bill Clinton, who managed to deliver three SOTU
speeches which increased his support by an amount greater than the
sampling error. No other President has ever accomplished this even
once in the quarter century since Gallup started tracking such
things. President Bush's ratings were not improved by his three
previous speeches, and were actually hurt by his controversial
speech last year. The record for the worst impact? President
Bush's father made a speech in 1990 that cost him 7 points! (But
he was buoyed up by the current events of the time at an
astronomical 80 level, and that was bound to decline no matter
what he said.)
What You'll Do for Valentine's Day. Based on a tracking
survey of internet users aged 17 to 34, this is a projection of
what you are most likely to do for Valentine's Day 2005.
Sri Lanka Pledges $35M in Aid to U.S. Victims of Aniston-Pitt
Catastrophe. Sri Lankan president Chandrika Kumaratunga
today pledged economic relief to help the United States recover
from the devastating effects of the Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt
Anti-Bush celebrities were the deciding factor - in getting him
USA TODAY picks ten movies with bad endings.
USA TODAY picks 25 movies with great endings.
The trailer for The Ballad of Jack and Rose. Wacky,
fun-loving Daniel Day-Lewis plays a dying man with an insane
daughter, so you know that promises plenty of light-hearted fun.
A script review of the Carlito's Way prequel
JoBlo's Sundance Wrap-Up!!
In a surprise move, Randy Quaid has been cast as the new James
Bond. Quaid noted that the character was not so very
different from Cousin Eddie. OK, I lied. The story actually says
that no decision has been made yet. So you Gilbert Gottfried fans
- your guy is still in the running.
- From, our "aawwwwwwwwwww" department, which usually only
covers cute baby animals.
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are dating - each other!!'
Weekly World News: "REJECTED TV PILOTS.
Nine awful shows you're lucky you'll never see!"
Incredibly politically incorrect, but pretty goddamned funny!
- "Bad guys can't kill New York's first zombie cop -- because
he's already dead," is how the show is described in PR
materials. But TV execs deepsixed "McMaggot."
- From our "the future ain't what it used to be" department.
Sex And The Yogi. Baseball legend Yogi Berra is suing
TBS over the promotional campaign for Sex and the City. Yogi has
found that nobody sues any more because the docket is too crowded.
While you think of it, check out
Yogi Berra Yogi-isms from his official site.
- This week's movies -
The Weekend Warrior expects Boogeyman to take the #1
spot, with about $18m on 2700 screens. The other new release is a
chick-flick named The Wedding Date, which is only in 1500
theaters, and for which expectations are modest.
- This week's movies.
The Wedding Date - all reviews negative so far
- "Some films are ripped from the headlines, others are ripped
from the pages of Cosmopolitan."
- "You know how some movies just ring so utterly true that
they defy your expectations and take a predictable genre to new
and unexpected places? This is not one of those movies."
- This week's movies:
Boogeyman - no advance reviews.
FOX NEWS BUYS AL-JAZEERA. "Hannity and Hussein" Among
New Network's Programs.
- Television insiders were taken aback that the network whose
motto is “We Report – You Decide,” would acquire a broadcast
entity whose slogan is “Death to the Infidels.” But according to
Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox parent company News Corporation,
the merger was a natural because, in his words, “We took a look
at their format and realized that it was almost identical to
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Here are the final results and comments for last week's poll Best Nude Debut, the 90's.
This week's poll...
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper?
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
Email Scoopy Jr. with your nominees, comments or suggestions.
Today from the Ghost...a couple of cute, but not so famous babes gettin' it on in scenes from episodes of the late night cable series "Hotel Erotica"
- Janie Rau. Plenty of toplessness and frontal views, plus a great rear view in #5.
- Tiffany Starkey, also topless and showing some full frontal nudity.
|Milla fully nude with clear breast exposure (and maybe a hint of pubes in #1) while underwater in scenes from "Resident Evil: Apocalypse".
|3 more behind the scenes pics of Simpson in costume on the set of "The Dukes of Hazzard". No bikini this time, just a bunch of cleavage. By the way, this movie was written and is being directed by the Broken Lizard guys.
||Another great find by LC featuring a movie not available on home video! Here is Eastwood topless in scenes from "The Lost Angel" (2004). Eastwood normally makes pretty good career choices, but after looking at the cast I'm thinking this one might be a stinker. Why? Well because it co-stars Judd Nelson AND C. Thomas Howell!
|Full frontal while going for a swim in scenes from the 1978 movie "The Betsy". 'Caps by Kitt.
|The former 'Tool Time' girl from the Tim Allen series "Home Improvement" showing off some impressive cleavage in scenes from "Leprechaun 4: In Space".
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Spanish babe and "Spanglish" co-star baring all 3 B's in scenes from "Carmen" (2003).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
CRAWFORD SAYS NO MORE NUDE POSES
The Mole Goes Underground - Bad news, guys: Cindy Crawford turned down an
offer to pose nude again for Playboy. She was the first supermodel to do
it, then she did it again ten years later in 1999. But she said she's now
a 38-year-old mother of two, her son Presley is five, and it's not worth
risking him getting hassled by his friends over his mom being in Playboy.
So wait until he's 13; then he'll be the most popular kid in school!
Cindy, if those kids hassle him, I promise I'll PERSONALLY spank them.
They can still see the 1999 issue...Their daddies all have it.
YOGI BERRA SUES OVER "YOGASM" AD
It's Un-Berra-ble! - Yogi Berra is suing the TBS cable channel for $10
million for using his name in a racy ad for "Sex & The City" reruns. The
ad is a multiple choice quiz on the definition of "yogasm," which is what
Samantha calls sex with a guy from her yoga class. One of the humorous
choices was "(B.) Sex with Yogi Berra." The 79-year-old baseball great
calls it a "moral taint that has damaged his otherwise spotless
On the other hand, he now has a lucrative offer to be the spokesman for
Most people who saw the ad thought it read "Sex with Yogi Bear."
I think it helps his reputation, for people to know he can still get
past third base and score at 79.
HATCHER SLAMS FAKE BREAST RUMORS
She's Desperate To Stop Them - Teri Hatcher slammed rumors that her breasts
are fake, saying she wants to be known for her acting talent and not just
her looks. She said there's been so much hysteria surrounding her boobs,
"I think they should have been cast in bronze at some point."
The rumor is that they feel like they HAVE been.
She is a good actress...She can convince you her breasts are real.
She insists that they're real...and they're spectacular!
She would look really angry about this, if it weren't for the Botox.