Other Crap:

Bob Sagat's legendary version of The Aristocrats joke

"Totally Absurd Inventions - America's Goofiest Patents!"

Internet Explorer 7: Beta is now available for downloading.

Geena Davis impeached

That vampire running for Governor of Minnesota will have to do so from behind bars

  • I hope he didn't quit his day job. Oh, wait. Vampires don't have day jobs.

The good news: you'll soon be able to use your cell phone on the airplane. The bad news: I'll be sitting next to you.

Stephen Colbert takes totally unscripted questions from his audience

Oprah acknowledges the existence of Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert's weekly "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger"

Professional poker player Annie Duke and Stephen Colbert talk about people's "tells."

The Daily Show: "Bush has no doubt in his mind the wiretaps are legal. In fact, there's no doubt in his mind, period."

  • ... or much of anything else, for that matter.

The Daily Show's Ed Helms investigates legalized mooning - a man's efficient and elegant way to convey a certain message.

American Idol's Randy Jackson talks to Jon Stewart about why Simon relishes destroying people's souls.

The Weekend Warrior's box office analysis and predictions for the upcoming weekend

  • He may be right, but the numbers seem too low to me. Last year, same weekend, the Top 12 pulled in about 88 million. Warrior says they will pull in 75 million this year. That represents about a 15% decline. Year to date, this year is dead even with last year.
  • In the first four weeks of the year, the Top 12 have taken in 106, 102, 94, 99 ... and he's calling for a sudden drop to 75. Last year the last week of January took in $104 million, and the first weekend in February took in $88, so there is a historical drop, but 24% seems too steep, even for Super Bowl weekend.
  • Based on the trends, you'd expect this weekend to be more like 85, not 75.
  • Of course, Warrior may be right because the two new offerings are bland and have no buzz at all. That is often all it takes to kill a weekend.

This week's movies (2600 screens): When a Stranger Calls - no reviews yet. (Horror movie remake.)

This week's movies (1200 screens): Something New - 42% positive reviews (Interracial romantic comedy)

Top 99 Most Desirable Women of 2006

"GREENSPAN SENDS MIXED SIGNALS IN FIRST DAY AT HOME ... Former Fed Chief's Inscrutable Statements Baffle Wife"

A gazillion new stills from The DaVinci code!

I swear I didn't make this up. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is in talks to reprise Clint Eastwood's role in a remake of Every Which Way But Loose.

  • And maybe, just maybe, Hollywood will find time to remake Popeye this year. Oh, please, let it be so.

It's official - Brooke Burke is engaged to the Burger King. Is it just me, or do you guys think these are getting creepy?

Rocket Racing League Announces First Team.

  • Wanna play? If you can't come up with $100,000, better stick to softball

The poster for Vaughn and Aniston in The Break-Up!

ABC News and the Associated Press prepare for the Super Bowl by pointing out that Detroit sucks.

  • "Much of the rest of Detroit, though, is a landscape dotted with burned-out buildings, where liquor stores abound but supermarkets are hard to come by, and where drugs, violence and unemployment are everyday realities."
  • Maybe they sent those reporters to Medellin by mistake

Crazy stuff ... 3D paintjobs

  • I once got one of those in Denmark. Couldn't piss right for two days.
  • The real story is this. My friend and I were hanging out in a beer hall in Denmark when a couple of Danish chicks started hitting on us. (They really do that sort of thing.) So I dance with the one girl and she tells me how handsome I am and how she'd like to paint me. I am envisioning my rosy future as the world's most famous face, my painting hanging in galleries next to the Mona Lisa and Warhol's Marilyn. Time passes, and I get a chance to dance with the other girl. I ask her, "Is your friend really a painter?" She replies, "Yes, she has painted many of the nicest barns in rural Denmark." Talk about an ego deflation! One minute I think she wants to capture my face for the ages, the next minute I realize she'll probably spray me with a Wagner Power Painter.
  • The end of the story gets stranger. This woman just has to have me come home with her, and I'm getting creeped out by her insistent tone, and I'm thinking she's your basic psycho. My friend Svein figures out a solution. He decides to get rid of her by telling her that I am actually an expensive gigolo, and she can't have sex with me unless she pays 1000 Kroner (about $150 in those days). We are completely shocked when she agrees. She is short a few Kroner, at which point she heads over to borrow money from her friend. While they talk and go through their purses, Svein and I sneak out.
  • Sorry, I wish the story had a better ending involving rubber chickens and KY Jelly and corpses and buttermilk with expired code dates, but it just doesn't. All of that really happened as I wrote it.

"Firetruck joyride doesn't ring a bell"

  • Here's a tip for you youngsters. If you're going to try to steal a firetruck, try not to crash it into the garage door of the fire station
  • "He admits that on Sept. 9, 2005, he barreled down the road in the bright-red, 40,000-pound ladder truck with the fire station's garage door draped over the cab like a blanket."

"Normally we'd say men's thongs are best left to strippers and Peter Stringfellow. But the Chocolate Thong is a very honourable exception."

  • “Ennis … I wuz thinkin of somethin new to bring on our fishin trips”
  • There is also a chocothong for women.

The complete list of Oscar nominees

  • I suppose the biggest surprises involved the little engines that could, small audience pictures that picked up some nominations. Everyone expected Hoffman to be nominated for his performance in Capote, but very few felt that the movie would be in the final five.
  • Similarly, most people agreed that Terrence Howard deserved a nomination for Hustle and Flow, but few thought he would actually get one. I think the five guys they nominated as Best Actor are the same five I would have picked.
  • Biggest disappointments, as I see it: 1) no nominations for Sin City - not even for best visual effects (???). Rodriguez and Rourke were also shut out. The Mickster was truly hosed, in my opinion, because they dug up some truly uninspired nominees in the Best Supporting Actor category. Probably only two of them even belong there at all. Matt Dillon? Maybe they thought they were choosing the five nominees for "Best Supporting Actor in Crash." And even then he might not make it! Do you think they're just paying him back for the nomination he deserved and didn't get for his brilliant comic performance in "There's Something About Mary"?(2) No Best Original Screenplay nomination for Lord of War, even though some mediocre screenplays snuck into the nominees.

Gordo's ashes will join Scotty's in space

There is a reason to watch The Golf Channel? I have never seen the Big Break V. In fact, I've never watched The Golf Channel of my own volition ... but the chicks look nice.

Jessica Alba Fanatics | HQ Image Gallery



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




Nude per l'assassino (1975)

"Strip Nude for Your Killer" is a "Giallo." As a quick refresher, the Giallo genre came about when Italian studios were looking for a way to make sex films with some semblance of plot. They struck upon the popular pulp thriller novels of the time as an easy source of inspiration. Those inexpensive paperbacks were known as Gialli because they all had yellow covers.  (Giallo is the Italian word for yellow, gialli is the plural.)

As the film begins, a woman dies of heart failure during an abortion. Soon after, her doctor is brutally murdered, then people at the modeling agency she worked for start dying, all slashed by someone in a motorcycle suit and helmet.

The big news is the copious nudity, although the popular softcore star Edwige Fenech, who was the film's greatest asset, limited her exposure to her breasts this time. 

Although this film is long on nudity, it's short on gore. While it was considered quite shocking in 1975, this film is now rather tame. There isn't much suspense either. Each time we begin to suspect someone as the killer, they are killed, until there are only three people left. Two of them, both photographers, are actively searching for the killer, so the script doesn't leave much room for surprise at the final unveiling. The director also telegraphs every murder with a recurring shot of the woman who died in the opening credits, accompanied by the sound of running water.

IMDb readers say 5.6 based on only 70 votes.

By our criteria: C-, as a barely adequate giallo.


Amanda - buns.

Erna Schurer - breasts

Solvi Stubing - breasts and buns.

Femi Benussi - the full monty.

Edwige Fenech - breasts

unknown breasts and pubes.




Today the old Time Machine travels back to 1993 for three babes from "Sunset Grill".

Alexandra Paul ("Baywatch") gives up boobs & butt in a lovemaking scene.

Lori Singer, cute little titties in the tub.

Sandra Wild does a little full frontal as she is caught by her husband with another guy in bed. In fact, the scene winds up with three men in a tussle.




Dann reports on The Constant Gardener:

There are lots of nice twists and turns in this beautifully done 2005 drama/thriller based on a best seller by John le Carre.

When the outspoken activist wife of a British embassy official in Kenya is murdered, along with an African doctor with whom she worked, the authorities blame first bandits, and then the doctor himself, even though he was also a victim.

Not satisfied with the explanations that appear to be almost a cover-up, the official embarks on a cross-continent quest to find the truth, and soon discovers there are many people that do not want him to learn anything, especially what his wife and the doctor were investigating at the time of the murders.

Exciting although deliberately paced, this is a very worthwhile movie that shows not only the dark side of Africa, but also many of its problems.

Rachel Weisz



Vejiita covers Adam and Eve, aka National Lampoon's Adam and Eve. There is no real explicit nudity, but some nice teases.

Emmanuelle Criqui

Courtney Peldon

Lisa Wilhoit







Another find from the old, old, old issues of the UK men's mag, Mayfair.  This time, from the October 1976 issue, is Marianne Morris.  IMDb says she was born in London in 1950 and that she worked in a handful of movies, sometimes in uncredited appearances.  But anyone who has seen Vampyres (1974) remembers her as Anulka Dziubinska's lesbian playmate.  The gal had a terrific form and a pleasant face.  And while Vampyre's showed us her superstructure very well, Mayfair shows us all her naughty bits.  So I was pleased to find these on the web; cleaned them up a
bit and here ya go.








The people at Cannes and Sundance got quite a shock from the explicit sex scenes in Battle in Heaven, particularly because they were matter-of-factly filmed in excellent lighting. Here is a film clip (zipped .avi) of Anapola Mushkadiz. A sample collage is below.

Mr Blonde has not yet returned from the future. In fact, instead of coming back, the towheaded one pushed the time machine farther into the future. Yesterday he had caps from The L-Word for next week. Today he dug up the episode for the following week! The women pictured below are Katherine Moenning and Sarah Shahi.

Mr. Skin captured a couple of rarely-seen looks at Leigh Taylor-Young, a babe from the early 70s, and the star of the original version of The Big Bounce. The one on the left is from The Horseman (1971). The other is from The Adventurers (1970)



Pat's comments in yellow...

Roll Call reports that top Democrats are angry with Howard Dean's management of the Democratic National Committee after learning he'd raised $55 million in 2005 and ended the year with only $5.5 million.  The Republicans have $34 million. They want to know how Dean spent all that money.

* I'm pretty sure it wasn't on charm school.

Charlize Theron told Empire magazine that she often gets rejected for
action movies because "I haven't got any (boobs)," and directors can't shoot the mandatory scenes of the female star running with her big breasts bouncing.  So it was unusual that she got cast in the recent movie,
"Aeon Flux."

* Which nobody saw, due to the lack of bouncing boobs.

Monday, Exxon reported a quarterly profit of $10.7 billion, pushing their profit for the year to $36.13 billion, bigger than the economies of 125 of the 184 nations ranked by the World Bank.  Exxon spokesmen hurried to say that this will help them make investments to meet future energy demands

* For example, they can hire thousands of new lobbyists