Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation



What a great documentary this is!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I have generally had my fill of documentaries. Most of them are just made by some opinionated blowhard doing everything possible to make it seem that complex, gray issues are either black or white. Just about every documentary is guilty of the selective presentation of facts. If they wanted to make Albert Schweitzer seem like a bad dude, they'd focus the entire film on the one time when he borrowed his neighbor's tools without permission, and ignore his lifetime of altruism. Some documentarians do worse things, often basing their "conclusions" on staged incidents, deliberate misinterpretations, or even outright lies. For the most part, the guys who make documentaries are the same kinds of guys who write letters to the editor, except that they have enough money to buy a camera. In many cases, the documentaries are actually harmful in that they allow a completely false idea to take hold and become common wisdom.

Given that I'm going to have to sit for 90 minutes and listen to the opinion of one or more windbags, the only way you can get me to watch a documentary is if it meets these criteria:

1) It is about a subject I'm interested in.

2) The subject matter is something better presented on screen than on paper.

3) The subject is presented by genuine experts in their field, who offer their insights with intelligence and humor, and present various contrasting points of view.

Check, check, and check.

NQH is the story of Aussie exploitation cinema from 1970-85, and it reflects the similarities and differences between the way B-movies were made in Australia and in the USA. It mixes familiar films with lost cultural artifacts. Because it consists of plenty of actual footage from the films, it is a topic ideally suited to be covered in another film rather than in an essay or on a web page. Intercut with the clips are the reminiscences and insights of the creators and actors looking back at that era, all of whom seem to be filled with charm, self-deprecating wit and funny insider stories. In addition, there are droll comments from film critics, and bubbling enthusiasm from the ultimate genius of the exploitation film world, Mr. Quentin Tarantino himself, who can recite these films frame-by-frame as easily as Kenneth Branagh can recite Shakespearian monologues.

Oh, yeah, and it's filled with nudity. In fact, the first third of the film is basically non-stop nudity, since it's about sex films. The middle third is about horror films, and the final act is dedicated to specialty action pictures featuring Kung Fu, cars, and bikes.

Of course if you were to see the actual films being discussed, you would not share Tarantino's passion for them because almost every one of those 90-minute films probably contains 89 minutes worth of unwatchable dreck, but Tarantino is absolutely right in that they all seem to include a few spectacular and/or memorable moments. Of course, the documentary only shows those moments, so the difference between watching those mediocre movies and watching this documentary is precisely the same as the difference between watching all 13 major league baseball games in a day and watching Sports Center. In fact Sports Center is a perfect analogy, because Not Quite Hollywood is the highlight reel for Aussie B-movies of that era, spiced with funny commentary.

And, unlike Sports Center, it has the additional advantage of tits.

Given that it's informative, sexy and funny, I'd have to say I'd recommend this one to anyone who would be reading this page in the first place.

Here are the clips, commentary and all:




  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.










Starship Troopers 3


All three women in a 1920x1080 film clip. Collages below.

Cecile Breccia


Nicole Tupper


Tanya van Graan








Breast Men


From Breast Men we have "Ross" ogling Emil Proctor's naked breasts. Now why
couldn't this have been Jennifer Aniston? Caps and a clip.


"Fox and Friends"

Over in TV Land Alisyn Camerota looking leggy on "Fox & Friends".








Lauren Hays

Part 5 of another multi-part tribute in a mixture of Brainscan clips and third party material.

The clip today is from Thrills. The other woman is Angela West








Casting Couch


Part 3

Susan Hale and Tawny Garrison. Samples below








Notes and collages


The King of Marvin Gardens


Ellen Burstyn









Pride and Glory


If you're looking for something new and different from this 2008 "cops gone bad" drama, you won't find it, but despite the general story having been done numerous times before, good acting and a solid and exciting storyline make it very worthwhile.

A detective, one of a family of cops, is investigating an ambush of four police officers in what looks like a gang hit. But as he digs deeper, things begin to point towards involvement by his brother-in-law. Even worse, this appears to be the tip of the iceberg, and it is happening under the command of his own brother, who works under the command of their father.

Nothing unique here, but it's so well done and exciting that you won't care. Just a good enjoyable cop/crime flick.

Scoop's note: wasn't it a little early to remake We Own the Night?

Raquel Jordan








Here is an early look at Julia Ormond's nude scene in The Escorial Conspiracy. The picture quality of these captures is not good, but it's good enough to show us that she looks tremendous for 43!


Alicia Silverstone, doing whatever she does now. Probably working as a tour guide at Jungle Larry's African Safari, pretending to be scared by the audioanimatronic crocs.


Film Clips

Katie Morgan in the special features from the Zack and Miri DVD. Samples below.

Greta Scacchi in The Red Violin - a more full-figured Ms Scacchi than you normally see. I saw her recently and she seems to have her looks back. She went through a period when she aged prematurely, and then she followed that up with weight gain. It looked like the onset of diabetes. I don't know if that was the real explanation, but whatever caused it seems to be in check, and she is looking slim and healthy and about right for her age, whcih is to say younger than she looked five years ago.

Softcore porn babe and would-be English princess, Koo Stark in Emily

Full frontal nudity from Lisa Niemi (Mrs Patrick Swayze) in Slam Dance

Marianna Palka in Good Dick. (A shower scene, but shot to reveal nothing.)

Natalie Portman in Closer - in 1920x1080 Blu-Ray quality. Big download, but a must-have for her fans.

Naturi Naughton in Notorious (2009, now in theaters). She's playing the part of Li'l Kim. It's cam quality, but is a spectacularly hot sex scene for a mainstream film. Like the Julia Ormond scene above, we'll be seeing this many times again on this page! Both are sure-fire top finishers for next year's top nude scenes. January was a tremendous month, and that is not at all typical. In addition to those two films, we saw Claire Forlani in False Witness, Gwyneth Paltrow in Two Lovers, Shawna Waldron and Miriam McDonald in Poison Ivy 4, Saffron Burrows in The Guitar, Kelly Hu in Farmhouse, Ana-Claudia Talancon in Arrancame, Alice Braga in Only God Knows, Eva Mendes's butt in The Spirit, Olivia May in The 18-Year-Old Virgin, and even a little cock-tease from Sandra Bullock in the trailer for The Proposal. Last January we didn't have jack straws. Maybe screen nudity is ready to recover from a severe off-year. (There is a theory that economic hard times pump up the sensational elements of entertainment. I haven't tried to evaluate the merit of that argument, but it doesn't seem implausible.)

Michelle Bernard in Fiesta Grand (sample right)