Mr Nice


Mr Nice is a biopic about convicted drug dealer Howard Marks and his wife Judy. Since it is based on their dueling autobiographies, you would expect it to be at least somewhat self-glorifying and self-justifying, and you would be right, but you probably would not guess the extent to which that is true. As Howard tells it, he only dealt in cannabis, a virtually harmless substance that should be legalized, and therefore did nothing really wrong, even if it was illegal. While he was dealing, he never carried a weapon or committed a violent act, yet almost singlehandedy wiped out Irish terrorism and organized crime. While in prison, he helped all the innocent men get released, and helped all the guilty men get rehabilitated and educated. He was braver than Sgt. York and smarter than Socrates, was irresistible to women, and was a better husband and father than Dr. Cliff Huxtable. Everyone who knew him loved him.

Although purportedly a true story, it is less credible than most fiction. Hell, it is less credible than most Road Runner cartoons. It makes Watchmen seem like gritty realism. On the other hand, maybe some of it is true, or at least reasonably close to the truth. I hope so, because Marks is a funny and entertaining storyteller. Frankly, I'm not going to look up any of the details, because if I were to research the story and find out that all his claims have been debunked, I'd be disappointed. I enjoyed it so much and learned so much from it that I want it to be true.

The one element that really makes the story entertaining is the film's portrayal of Jim McCann, a batshit crazy IRA captain who called himself the Shamrock Pimpernel. When McCann isn't threatening to shoot people's kneecaps, he's painting funny faces on his penis, watching barnyard porno in public, and just generally being completely out of control. At one point he is completely surrounded by police offers and manages to get away by blasting away wildly with an automatic weapon while setting off several green smoke bombs and disappearing in the mist. Yes, that particular incident seems utterly impossible and I doubt whether anything like that ever happened, but I have heard that the real Jim McCann ("My name is Mr Nobody. My address is The World.") was actually even crazier than the character in this film.

The Welsh comic Rhys Ifans, a favorite of mine, is cool and funny and immensely likeable as Howard Marks, but the real star performance of the film is turned in by David Thewlis, who delivers a brilliantly demented interpretation of McCann. The only weak performance resulted from the inexplicable casting of an American, Chloe Sevigny, as Marks' English wife. She's a solid performer in general, but she has a different accent in every scene, and her characterization seems too weak and wimpy to have done all the things Judy Marks did. I don't get it. Why not just hire a stronger and comparably sexy English actress? Oh, well. Maybe that's just me being persnickety, because it isn't important enough to spoil the film.

Bernard Rose, the director of this film, has had a curiously eclectic career. He wrote and directed a popular horror film named Candyman, which was adapted from a Clive Barker story. He wrote and directed a romantic Beethoven biopic called Immortal Beloved, which was an original screenplay. He wrote and directed a "Hollywood Insider" film called Ivansxtc, which was a modern interpretation of a Tolstoy story. I've seen all three of those films plus Mr Nice and I liked them all, but without IMDb at my fingertips I never would have guessed that they were all created by the same man. He's also created several others that I haven't seen, and it is almost impossible to find any common thread running through them. Bernard Rose is a very complicated man.

But also a competent one.

6.6 at IMDb

50% at Rotten Tomatoes

It grossed abut a million bucks in the UK on about 100 screens. It has never had a North American release.


Here's Chloe Sevigny's four brief nude scenes in 720p

And here's a pot-fueled orgy from Marks' college days. Elsa Pataky is in there somewhere, as well as a host of unidentified actresses.



  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.






Julie Benz film clip

Samples below






Year 2: A Tale of Two Cities


episodes 5 and 6


Ria Vandervis

Candace Leigh and Jenna Driscoll

Katie Wall

Anna Hutchinson

Patricia Centenera



Coming up: a new set of material.

Brainscan says,

"Mainly of A-list gals in performances that have been posted many times before but were so attractive resistance was futile.  Take the Anna Paquin scene from True Blood - has to be one the most beautifully shot and downright sexiest scenes filmed at any time by anyone.  Or the Caprice Benedetti scene from Brotherhood - whoda known that gal has such an attractive caboose?  And then there's Jessica Biel and Marisa Tomei and how did we ever get so lucky to live in a time when women this attractive thought it perfectly reasonable to take off their clothes in front of a camera?  Hi Def at that. Ain't life grand?" 

Here's part 1:

Powder Blue


This was the #3 nude scene of 2008

Jessica Biel





aka "Trader Games" (2010)

DVD is only available in France and they tend to ruin their English language releases by having French subtitles on the English track. BTW, Krach is French for Crash but that's the title of two other movies directed by David Cronenberg and Paul Haggis.

The only nudity is a bunch of party girls (le party filles) in a post-coital foursome but the only one I can readily ID is Loft Story reality contestant Nancy Bouzi who's the topless Black chick.


(2010) aka "Takedown"

Recent DVD release where Lou Diamond Phillips shows his bare butt again.

Jordana Largy: topless

Michele Cummins: topless

hookers: topless

Small Time Murder Songs

 (2010 or 2011; trailer)

This is going to be in Canadian theatres mid February.

Alyssa Mariano: nude but dead.

Captured Alive


In this hicksploitation, hillbillies shoot down an airplane and force the occupants into slave labor to haul toxic waste for an evil corporation. Sadly not to be released to Blu-ray anytime soon.

Dawn Lambing: nice bra-less pokies.

Helena Andersen: one-timer showing off her double-D daisy dukes.

Route 132


Recent Quebec release.

Sophie Bourgeois: C.A. actress very sexy.

Score: A Hockey Musical


The biggest Canadian musical embarassment since the Rene Simard Show. It even makes Cop Rock look good.

Allie MacDonald: sexy

Misha Highstead: (far right) sexy as puckbunny,

Dark House


Skinless Fangoria horror.

Shelly Cole: stripping down to her bra and panties while Meghan Ory tries not to look like a leering lesbian.

Meghan Ory: jockey shorts and sports bra.

Bevin Prince: sexy

The Hitman


Mulletsploitation starring Chuck Norris.

Alberta Watson: lots of cleavage before getting ravaged by The Chin.

Carlito's Way


This DVD was only available in the UK for some reason.

Ingrid Rogers: nice pokies.

The Happy Hooker


Denise Galik: she only takes off her glasses in this movie as a brothel bookkeeper who fills in for one of the girls.

"Bob Gratton, ma vie/My Life"

le episode "Chirurgie piassetique"

Anne-Marie Losique: very sexy. She's a Quebec producer who's promoting her erotic cable channel Vanessa TV ( while in various stages of undress cavorting with topless lesbian porn stars.

Kill Switch


Anna Mae Routledge: sexy as goth librarian but without the stereotypical glasses.

Contract Killers


Frida Farrell: Swedish import shows some side boob.

Holiday in Handcuffs

(2007) (TV)

Gabrielle Miller: Corner Gas star shows more cleavage than usual.


episode "Key with No Lock"

Another unaired episode.

Ingrid Tesch: cleavage and leg in fully clothed sex scene.


le saison 2 opener (s2e01)

Laurence Leboeuf: cleavage in brassiere getting raped.



Film Clips

Aina Clotet in Elisa K (2010; samples below)


Sophie Ward in Book of Blood (2009)

Jaimie Alexander in Rest Stop in HD (2006)

Diane Kruger in Troy in 1080p (2004)

Ally Sheedy and Radha Mitchell in High Art (1998)

Elaine Tse and Cindra Feuer, also from High Art

Reese Witherspoon in Twilight (1998) in 1080 HD

Jamie Rose in Tightrope (1984)

Randi Brooks in Tightrope

Margaret Howell in Tightrope




Thora Birch in some kind of crazy dress that exposes much of her butt

Lucy Lawless and Jaime Murray in the latest Spartacus


Marisa Ramirez in the latest Spartacus