"Head in the Clouds"
Head in the Clouds (2004) is a romantic tragedy that covers the period in Europe from the mid 1920s to the liberation of Paris in near real-time. It chronicles a romance among rich, hedonistic Charlize Theron, serious and idealistic Stewart Townsend, and Spanish former stripper Penelope Cruz. The plot was completely formulaic and predictable. To make sure that happened, they very heavy-handedly telegraphed plot twists long in advance of their occurring. For example, we see French patriots commenting several times on Theron's collaboration with a Gestapo officer. Wonder what will happen when Paris is liberated? I found the photography top notch, start to finish, and found Theron's performance to be brilliant start to finish.
The quality of her performance was never more obvious than a scene near the middle of the film just after Townsend returns from Spain. He has been waiting to se her again in the street. She senses his presence behind her, and turns around. There is an initial glad to see him smile, quickly replaced by an I am through with that SOB who ruined my life by running off to Spain with my female lover and getting her killed frown. The entire scene was done with no dialogue. I probably could have forgiven the trite material and the glacially slow pace, if every scene would have been of that caliber. I doubt if many noticed it, however, because they were probably all asleep by that point. I will also give the writers credit for not resorting to the obvious story-book happy ending that was easily possible. I do wish they would have done more with the Cruz character, and made more of the lesbian relationship.
As you all know by now, Theron showed breasts in two scenes. IMDb has this at 5.5 of 10, and it was a colossal flop in the box office. I hope this doesn't limit Theron's options for new roles, as she was excellent in this losing effort. This is a C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
She Hate Me
Spike Lee's disastrous misfire came
very close to making the year's "worst of" lists. It was certainly
the worst movie turned out by a respected director.
I wasn't very happy with the way these
came out. Spike uses lots of fancy lighting and, in retrospect, I
should have left everything the way it was in the film instead of
trying to manipulate the colors back to natural shades. Well,
whatever. Plenty of other guys will be capturing these in the
upcoming week or so, and I'm sure some of them will use the film's
Paula Jai Parker (1,
Kerry Washington (1,
Aura Grimolyte (1,
Savannah Haske (1,
Bai Ling (1,
Back by Midnight
Back by Midnight is a typical Rodney Dangerfield "slobs versus
snobs" vehicle. Rodney plays the warden of a minimum security prison
which is being run by a private contracting company. Rodney's greedy
corporate bosses conspire to ignore the prison's needs and spend
virtually nothing on it, thus pocketing the difference between what
they get from the state and what they actually spend on the
facility, and therefore covering up the losses in their department
store chain. Rodney gets so frustrated by the corporate moguls that
he allows the inmates to leave the prison at night and rob the
boss's stores for the supplies he needs to upgrade the prison.
Rodney seems very old and tired, and looks ill. His usual zingers
have no zing. Even at that, he's still the best thing in the film,
which is written and performed at a broad, puerile level that makes
F Troop seem like a segment of Masterpiece Theater. Here's a fact to
scare you: although Back by Midnight stars Rodney Dangerfield and
Randy Quaid, those two guys are the MOST subtle performers in the
film. The next most important roles are:
a safecracker named "Ears" with super-sensitive hearing. He actually
wears gigantic prosthetic Dumbo ears.
a convict named "Jerk-off" who actually says things like "du-u-u-u-h,
a 200 pound woman in light dominatrix outfits.
an obnoxious monkey who keeps climbing on chandeliers and pissing on
Gilbert Gottfried and Ron Jeremy. 'Nuff said.
(To Kirstie Alley's credit, she played the embarrassing fat woman
role with good humor and lots of cleavage, and managed to be about
as sexy as a woman that size can be.)
This film is so bad it has just been sitting on the shelves for a
couple of years, and was released to DVD without fanfare and with no
effort to promote the final starring role of a recently deceased
comedy legend. Not a good send off for Rodney. In general, I like
his "regular guy" movies, but not this one.
My rating: D-
Roger Ebert reviewed this film way back
in May 7 of 1973!!
The most important thing to say, from our perspective, is that it
will go into Junior's polls when he does the Best Nude Debuts of the
1970's. It was the first movie ever done by Lindsay Wagner, two
years or so before she was to become The Bionic Woman on TV.
Unfortunately, her nudity play never had a second act, so her nude
debut was also her entire nude career. I don't know of any other
instance where she whipped out the goodies in public.
World Politics Dominate Top Sundance Awards
Ann Coulter makes a fool of herself on the CBC
Sundance Film Festival - day 7. Crispin Glover's film clears the
- "Starring a cast of, largely, mentally and physically
handicapped people it doesn't pull any punches. Around 15 people
walked out of the press screening within half an hour. I can't
think what offended them... could it have been the down syndrome
copping off scene, the use of swastikas or, perhaps, the song
about the 'nigger' (yes, really, and that is the film's word not
mine), whichever way, the crowd was thinning fast."
A literate look at the most unforgettable breasts in movie history
Alan Cumming surprised journalists when he answered the simple
question of, 'Are you disappointed Bryan Singer won't be directing
X-Men 3?' with a resounding, 'No.' "I think he's really
talented. I'm very proud of the film. I think it's a great film. I
didn't enjoy working with him on the film." Oh my God - somebody
in Hollywood told the truth - and his last name isn't Stone or
Parker? This is revolutionary.
Star Wars III - the complete list of trading cards
Paparazzi shots of Charlize and her low-key boyfriend.
Did I nention that her breasts and bum are uncovered? Did I
mention that "low-key" can be translated as "lacking a pulse"?
IRAQIS BITTERLY DIVIDED OVER OSCAR NOMINATIONS. The
announcement of nominations for the 77th annual Academy Awards
have exposed deep divisions within Iraq, with Sunnis and Shiites
bitterly split over this year's Oscar nods, U.S. officials said
today. “As far as most Sunnis are concerned, the Oscars have lost
all credibility. They might as well be the Golden Globes.”
Here is a great Budweiser ad that was rejected for the Super Bowl.
2005 Iraqi Election Ballot: President Bush Proudly Invites
Eligible Arabiacs to Download and Complete the Official Ballot for
Iraq's Frantically Joyous Foray Into Gunpoint Democracy.
eBay: "Incredible real Walnut carved around its entire surface
with floral patterns and erotic loving couples."
- News for the gullible:
Get your vitamin C and E from your t-shirt.
Many stills from Pierce Brosnan's next film, The Matador.
- In a wacky chance encounter at a Mexican hotel bar, Julian,
a sleazy hitman, strikes up a peculiar friendship with Danny, a
struggling salesman. Lonely Julian is thrilled to make a friend
and offers to solve all of Danny's financial problems if he'll
help with a hit. When Danny balks at the crazy proposition
Julian begs forgiveness for crossing the line, but it's too late
and the two part company. Burnt out on drugs, sex and death,
Julian heads to Venice where he fails a hit. His employer wants
Julian's head. Julian tracks down Danny down in America and begs
him as his only friend for help. He's been given one last chance
but he can't pull off the job alone. This time Danny agrees and
the obligation binding the two men from different worlds is
startlingly revealed ...
Angelina Jolie said that OTHER celebrities grandstanding for human
rights causes can do more harm than good.
Major League Baseball star Sammy Sosa has reportedly been traded
from the Chicago Cubs to the Baltimore Orioles. How the
mighty have fallen, if this is true. The rumor says he's been
traded for Jerry Hairston and a bag of used fungo bats.
The case of the Bush administration versus Buster the Bunny. Judge
Yosemite Sam presiding. "PBS is supposed to run a
program that shows a family with two moms. But the new secretary
of education, Margaret Spellings, has decided that the show,
"Postcards from Buster" is bad for kids and bad for America. She
is threatening to pull funding from PBS."
Court rules Darth Cheney is above the laws of man and God.
Actual quote: "You're proceeding as if this were ordinary
litigation and ... this is not ordinary litigation because of the
vice president." My favorite quote from the ruling, however, was
this one: "... federal open government laws cannot require records
be made public." Or, to word it another way, federal open
government laws do not actually require any open government!
Country singer Lynn Anderson accused of shoplifting a Harry Potter
DVD, and then punching a police officer. In December,
Anderson was charged with drunken driving after police found her
passed out in her car on the shoulder of a highway near Denton,
- Many agree that
sitcoms - a staple of TV since the earliest days - need a
Fascinating Depression-era cartoon, with a blues score,
created by the legendary Max Fleischer. Shows you why the term
"Depression" was appropriate.
Near-Death Experiences of the Rich and Famous
A few gazillion pics of Jessica Simpson on the set of The Dukes of
The first of some 750 prospective jurors will report for duty on
Monday in the Michael Jackson child molestation case
The infamous recorded outtakes of Orson Welles trying to get
through a commercial spot for Peas.
Leona Helmsley is back in the news. One of her
employees charges that she 'acted negligently, maliciously,
wantonly, intentionally, grossly, willfully, evilly, recklessly,
carelessly and without regard for the rights and safety of
others." Sounds like she's mellowed a bit.
The trailers for MirrorMask
- "MirrorMask" centers on Helena, a 15 year old girl in a
family of circus entertainers, who often wishes she could run
off and join real life. After a fight with her parents about her
future plans, her mother falls quite ill and Helena is convinced
that it is all her fault. On the eve of her mother's major
surgery, she dreams that she is in a strange world with two
opposing queens, bizarre creatures, and masked inhabitants. All
is not well in this new world - the white queen has fallen ill
and can only be restored by the MirrorMask, and it's up to
Helena to find it. But as her adventures continue, she begins to
wonder whether she's in a dream, or something far more sinister.
- Man, I love it when movies stink! It gives critics an outlet
for their frustration.
Alone in the Dark - 2% at Rotten Tomatoes, and an
10/100 at Metacritic. To put that 10 at Metacritic into
perspective, last year's worst film, Superbabies, scored a 9, and
last year's Razzie favorite, Catwoman, scored a comparatively
mammoth 27! In other words, it is only January, and we may already
have the worst film of 2005!! If not, fasten your seat belt,
Cubby, cuz' it's gonna be a long year.
The pornolizer: enter any URL and the Pornolizer turns it into a
Ain't It Cool News has the first test screening reports for
Whatever happened to ... Tanya Harding? You are not
gonna believe what she looks like now. Her boxing weight is listed
at 125, but she looks 25-50 pounds heavier.
- URL says it all:
Welcome to Mandonna! "The all-male, all-live tribute to the
- A contestant on “American Idol” was in jail in Mobile, Alabama
when his bizarre audition aired on Tuesday night.
Here's the story, his mug shot, and a link to the audition video.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Hello Scoopy !
I wasn't planning on sending something in today but
I came across this scene from episode 2 of
"Desperate Housewives". This short clip shows Eva
Longoria in the tub with her lover and it is
possible that a nipple is visible here even with the
Dutch subtitles getting in the way a bit. I'm not
gonna swear it on the Bible though but since it will
probably make Junior's day I'm submitting it anyway.
The voting is over for the Best Nude Debut, the 90's poll.
Stay tuned for complete results and comments.
In the meantime, Here are the results and comments for last week's poll...
Best Nude Debut, the 80's
Email Scoopy Jr. with your comments or future poll suggestions.
||Stone is topless (and a brunette) in these scenes from the small budget movie "A Different Loyalty" (2004). Currently this does not appear to be available on home video.
Amanda De Cadenet
|Both ladies bare their breasts in scenes from separate episodes of the made for cable series "The Hunger".
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story" (2001)
Docudrama released to video last week. Based on the 80's rock group's Hysteria tour.
Cold Squad: season 5
Da Vinci's Inquest: season 2
Rescue Me: episode DNA
The hottest episode of the first season but still with less nudity
than an NFL Halftime Show.
Moccasin Flats: episode Home Security
LC takes a look at the most recent mega-lo-budget snowboarding comedy, "Frostbite" (2004).
|Mischa taking off her top to reveal her black bra in scenes from a recent episode of "The O.C.".
||Another classic moment in nude cinema history...Here are Gman 'caps of Shannon Elizabeth topless in scenes from "American Pie".
|Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps featuring scenes from the movie "Attraction" (2000). Mol shows some nice pokies, Mathis shows some nicer toplessness.
|Señor Skin 'caps of oldest of the Arquette siblings topless in scenes from "Fait Accompli" aka "VooDoo Dawn" (1998).