"Head in the Clouds"

Head in the Clouds (2004) is a romantic tragedy that covers the period in Europe from the mid 1920s to the liberation of Paris in near real-time. It chronicles a romance among rich, hedonistic Charlize Theron, serious and idealistic Stewart Townsend, and Spanish former stripper Penelope Cruz. The plot was completely formulaic and predictable. To make sure that happened, they very heavy-handedly telegraphed plot twists long in advance of their occurring. For example, we see French patriots commenting several times on Theron's collaboration with a Gestapo officer. Wonder what will happen when Paris is liberated? I found the photography top notch, start to finish, and found Theron's performance to be brilliant start to finish.

The quality of her performance was never more obvious than a scene near the middle of the film just after Townsend returns from Spain. He has been waiting to se her again in the street. She senses his presence behind her, and turns around. There is an initial glad to see him smile, quickly replaced by an I am through with that SOB who ruined my life by running off to Spain with my female lover and getting her killed frown. The entire scene was done with no dialogue. I probably could have forgiven the trite material and the glacially slow pace, if every scene would have been of that caliber. I doubt if many noticed it, however, because they were probably all asleep by that point. I will also give the writers credit for not resorting to the obvious story-book happy ending that was easily possible. I do wish they would have done more with the Cruz character, and made more of the lesbian relationship.

As you all know by now, Theron showed breasts in two scenes. IMDb has this at 5.5 of 10, and it was a colossal flop in the box office. I hope this doesn't limit Theron's options for new roles, as she was excellent in this losing effort. This is a C-. Tuna

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  • Charlize Theron (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    She Hate Me (2004):

    Spike Lee's disastrous misfire came very close to making the year's "worst of" lists. It was certainly the worst movie turned out by a respected director. Review here.

    I wasn't very happy with the way these came out. Spike uses lots of fancy lighting and, in retrospect, I should have left everything the way it was in the film instead of trying to manipulate the colors back to natural shades. Well, whatever. Plenty of other guys will be capturing these in the upcoming week or so, and I'm sure some of them will use the film's original lighting.

    • Paula Jai Parker (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Kerry Washington (1, 2, 3)

    • Aura Grimolyte (1, 2, 3)

    • Savannah Haske (1, 2, 3)

    • Bai Ling (1, 2)



    Back by Midnight (2002):

    Back by Midnight is a typical Rodney Dangerfield "slobs versus snobs" vehicle. Rodney plays the warden of a minimum security prison which is being run by a private contracting company. Rodney's greedy corporate bosses conspire to ignore the prison's needs and spend virtually nothing on it, thus pocketing the difference between what they get from the state and what they actually spend on the facility, and therefore covering up the losses in their department store chain. Rodney gets so frustrated by the corporate moguls that he allows the inmates to leave the prison at night and rob the boss's stores for the supplies he needs to upgrade the prison.

    Rodney seems very old and tired, and looks ill. His usual zingers have no zing. Even at that, he's still the best thing in the film, which is written and performed at a broad, puerile level that makes F Troop seem like a segment of Masterpiece Theater. Here's a fact to scare you: although Back by Midnight stars Rodney Dangerfield and Randy Quaid, those two guys are the MOST subtle performers in the film. The next most important roles are:

    • a safecracker named "Ears" with super-sensitive hearing. He actually wears gigantic prosthetic Dumbo ears.

    • a convict named "Jerk-off" who actually says things like "du-u-u-u-h, I dunno"

    • a 200 pound woman in light dominatrix outfits.

    • an obnoxious monkey who keeps climbing on chandeliers and pissing on Randy Quaid.

    • Gilbert Gottfried and Ron Jeremy. 'Nuff said.

    (To Kirstie Alley's credit, she played the embarrassing fat woman role with good humor and lots of cleavage, and managed to be about as sexy as a woman that size can be.)

    This film is so bad it has just been sitting on the shelves for a couple of years, and was released to DVD without fanfare and with no effort to promote the final starring role of a recently deceased comedy legend. Not a good send off for Rodney. In general, I like his "regular guy" movies, but not this one.

    My rating: D-

    IMDb: 4.2



    Two People (2004):

    Roger Ebert reviewed this film way back in May 7 of 1973!! Review here.

    The most important thing to say, from our perspective, is that it will go into Junior's polls when he does the Best Nude Debuts of the 1970's. It was the first movie ever done by Lindsay Wagner, two years or so before she was to become The Bionic Woman on TV. Unfortunately, her nudity play never had a second act, so her nude debut was also her entire nude career. I don't know of any other instance where she whipped out the goodies in public.



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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    "Desperate Housewives"

    Hello Scoopy !
    I wasn't planning on sending something in today but I came across this scene from episode 2 of "Desperate Housewives". This short clip shows Eva Longoria in the tub with her lover and it is possible that a nipple is visible here even with the Dutch subtitles getting in the way a bit. I'm not gonna swear it on the Bible though but since it will probably make Junior's day I'm submitting it anyway. :-)

    Jr's Polls
    The voting is over for the Best Nude Debut, the 90's poll.

    Stay tuned for complete results and comments.

    In the meantime, Here are the results and comments for last week's poll...

    Best Nude Debut, the 80's

    Email Scoopy Jr. with your comments or future poll suggestions.

    Sharon Stone Stone is topless (and a brunette) in these scenes from the small budget movie "A Different Loyalty" (2004). Currently this does not appear to be available on home video.

    Marie-Josée Croze
    Amanda De Cadenet

    Both ladies bare their breasts in scenes from separate episodes of the made for cable series "The Hunger".

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story" (2001)
    Docudrama released to video last week. Based on the 80's rock group's Hysteria tour.

    Cold Squad: season 5

    Da Vinci's Inquest: season 2

    • Odessa Munroe: full dorsal nudity as hooker in episode "The Lottery".
    • Sarah Deakins: breasts in shower in "With Bags Like These".
    • Cyndi Mason: partial boobs as s&m hooker in "Reality".

    Rescue Me: episode DNA
    The hottest episode of the first season but still with less nudity than an NFL Halftime Show.

    Moccasin Flats: episode Home Security

    • Andrea Menard: nude in bed with lesbian partner Michelle Thrush.

    First Wave

    LC takes a look at the most recent mega-lo-budget snowboarding comedy, "Frostbite" (2004).

    Mischa Barton
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Mischa taking off her top to reveal her black bra in scenes from a recent episode of "The O.C.".

    Shannon Elizabeth Another classic moment in nude cinema history...Here are Gman 'caps of Shannon Elizabeth topless in scenes from "American Pie".

    Gretchen Mol
    (1, 2)
    Samantha Mathis
    (1, 2, 3)

    Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps featuring scenes from the movie "Attraction" (2000). Mol shows some nice pokies, Mathis shows some nicer toplessness.

    Rosanna Arquette
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Señor Skin 'caps of oldest of the Arquette siblings topless in scenes from "Fait Accompli" aka "VooDoo Dawn" (1998).