Beware: I have heard from some of you that those two Mariah Carey photos may be fakes. While I have not seen any actual evidence to support that, I am coming around to that position, inasmuch as nobody can identify a legitimate source.

If so, my bad for running them.

I'll keep you posted if I hear any more.



  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Nude for Satan

Nuda per Satana is an unique Italian send-up of Gothic horror films. It is a legend in the history of Italian cinema because it was screened only once theatrically, for 500 patrons, and was then pulled permanently, not to be seen again in any format until censored video and DVD versions emerged decades later.

This film has been featured in the Funhouse many times over the years, all caps having come from those censored releases. What prompted my redo was a new uncut version with additional hardcore action. The former release, from Redemption Cinema, was 82 minutes long in NTSC format. The new one, from Sodemented Cinema in The Netherlands, runs 90 minutes in PAL format, which translates to 94 minutes of real running time. The additional 12 minutes consists entirely of nudity and hardcore action. What is surprising is that the formerly unreleased footage  does not consist of stock inserts of anonymous body parts, but was all shot for this film, and some of it includes the principal actresses.

For those who have not heard of this film, here is the story. It was a dark and stormy night. A doctor is trying to make a house call, and catches sight of a completely naked Rita Calderoni. He then hears a crash, goes to investigate, and finds her unconscious in the driver's seat. He takes her to his car, but when it won't start, he heads (all together now) to a dark and sinister castle. Once inside, he enters a room, and encounters (in the first of the new footage) two women having sex in a chair, and a man and a women having sex, including explicit fellatio. Another room contains an ugly guy with a knife in his throat. Then the doctor finds the same woman that is still unconscious in his car, but dressed differently. The next morning, the woman from the car also shows up at the castle, and meets a different version of the doctor. Seems this castle is owned by Satan, and the dark sides of both characters are also in the house, along with other horny and kinky residents. The ending is roughly as silly and bewildering as the rest of the film.

Highlights include a preposterous giant papier-mâché spider with pipe cleaner legs, the bloody whipping scene, the ol' big toe in the vagina trick, and lots of real and simulated sex.

The Sodemented Cinema version includes both an English and an Italian audio track and optional subtitles in English, Dutch and French. The DVD is an all-region PAL, and sports a nice letterboxed transfer at the original theatrical ratio of 2.36:1.


Scoop's notes: Two links.

(1) The first is the Wikipedia entry for the eternally inept writer/director Luigi_Batzella, the "Italian Ed Wood," and a dude so weird and cryptic that his biographers can even agree about what his real name was. It seems difficult to believe if you have ever seen this film, but it is widely considered to be his best, far and away. It would be a perfect candidate for MST3000 if they ever do an X-rated version.

(2) Then there is an amusing Movie House Review, written many years ago by The Realist, a former contributor, and one of only four people ever to have written an issue of The Funhouse. (He was a low-level UT professor who was a neighbor of mine. He wrote about 60 issues during one summer in the 1990s. I haven't heard much from him since he moved to New England for a full professorship, but I now play volleyball quite often with his younger brother! The other three you know. Scoopy Junior and I have written about 2000 issues apiece. Tuna wrote 10-20 at the turn of the millennium.)




Iolanda Mascitti has a graphic lesbian sex with Rita Calderoni, gets whipped, and eventually gets stabbed with a nasty knife. Calderoni, Mascitti and at least two other women show everything in close-up detail.

My old images, made from a VHS version and lightly reworked, are included for comparison.

Rita Calderoni

new images

Old images


Yolanda Maschitti

New images

Old images

Both women

New images only



New images

Old images









Death Wish 2


Today is a "Damsels in Distress" day as we visit the Charles Bronson sequel. 

Melody Santangelo shows off the hooters as she is grabbed by the bad guys. Caps and two clips.

Robin Sherwood shows breasts while raped by the baddies, then jumps to her death. Caps and a clip.

Silvana Gallardo is also raped by the bad guys, resulting in full frontal nudity. Be warned: it's a brutal scene. Caps and four clips.







Notes and collages


part 5 of many

Jennifer Aniston

Episode 220

(Going backwards in time.)








More from Electric Blue ...

Minnie Champ (film clips here, sample right)
Charmaine Sinclair (film clips here, samples right)









Adrift in Manhattan

The story tracks the lives of three lonely and distraught people in New York, and how their lives eventually intertwine. An optometrist (Heather Graham) is still trying to get over the death of her two-year-old months after the tragedy. An elderly painter is losing his eyesight. A young man of 20 who still lives with his overbearing mother (Marlene Forte) takes refuge in observing and photographing strangers (only most people would call it stalking, not observing).

Sometimes you watch a movie and think "why did they bother?", because you've seen it all before. This 2007 drama is like that: not a bad movie, but nothing original. The performances were great, but the idea has been beaten to death, and this one brings nothing new to the party. I enjoy a serious and slow-moving character study if the story is good, but this one didn't grab me for some reason, and worse, it's one of these movies that doesn't really end. It just evaporates.


Heather Graham Marlene Forte






Birgit Doll in Tales from the Vienna Woods
Christine Ruecker in If Every Day Could Be Sunday
Katharine Schuetz in The Woman at the End of the Street
Marijam Agischewa in Airport Rendezvous
Martina Gedeck in Summer '04
Nadja Tiller in Beloved Con Woman






Film clips of Aitana Sanchez-Gijon in La Carta Esferica
If you just have to have a downloadable version of that topless Britney video, here it is. I enlarged it to 640x480, converted it to a DIVX .avi, and edited it down to the key 25 seconds.
Oscar-nominated Marion Cotillard, as she looked about 12 years ago in My Sex Life.

Two models from French Photo

Masha Novoselova
Natalia Vodianova