Other Crap:

SNL - Eddie Murphy experiences life as a white man.

JoBlo does Sundance - final report

Six incredibly bad clips from Steve Martin's upcoming disaster, The Pink Panther

  • Check out "I would like to buy a hamburger." This should be used in classes as a teaching aid for "how to be unfunny." Here's today's lesson, pick an idea that it is so trite and unoriginal that it would not be funny even as a one-liner. Then be sure to drag it out for ... ever. Be sure to repeat everything over and over again until it is totally irritating!

Conan O'Brien interviews the ghost of Col. Sanders

  • After the interview, a serious PSA comes on and says "we all love comedy, but it should not be at the expense of the feelings of others"
  • I take this to mean that Conan will no longer make fun of anyone in his monologues or on his show, thus making it easier for him to conform to his new two-minute format.

The teaser for the remake of The Omen

  • Worst trailer ever?
  • "Fear the date 6/6/06 when 'The Omen 666 opens in theaters nationwide. A remake of the 1976 horror classic, the new film takes the tale of the coming of the antichrist personified as a young boy named Damien to an even more thrilling and visceral level."

Here's the trailer for The Notorious Bettie Page

  • "The most successful pin-up of the 1950s, Bettie Page's legendary photographs made her the target of a Senate investigation into pornography, and turned her into one of the first sex icons."
  • Not a very good trailer. I have been looking forward to this movie, but the trailer left me thinking, "What is the point of this film?" Is it just one of those "entire life compressed into 90 minutes" biopics like the ones they used to make in the fifties, or does it have other reasons to exist?

This week's movies - update: Big Momma's House 2 - 7% positive reviews. Are you surprised by the low score?

This week's movies: Bubble - 70% positive reviews

  • This is Soderbergh's experimental movie which is opening in theaters at the same time it comes to home video and cable.
  • Critics were sharply divided. That's no surprise for a low budget, arty movie. Roger Ebert summed up the positives: "The characters are so closely observed and played with such exacting accuracy and conviction that Bubble becomes quietly, inexorably, hypnotic." The negatives said things like.
    • "At times it's so mind-numbingly dull, it becomes funny. But it's not a feature film. I'm not really sure what it is."
    • "An embarrassment to all concerned, the film was written, directed and produced by Soderbergh for reasons that are not readily apparent."

This week's movies - update: Annapolis - 9% positive reviews

  • You can see why critics were not allowed an advance look at this one The word most used in the reviews is "cliche," and I was not the only one to note that it seems too similar to An Officer and a Gentleman.

Daily Box Office - Friday, January 27, 2006

  • As expected, Big Momma's House dominated the numbers, but its numbers were higher than expected. Most experts predicted the high teens, and it seems sure to crack 20.
  • I have been looking at these result for a couple of years now, and I've realized that the experts always underpredict comedies. That includes everything from modest efforts liek Waiting ... to strong hits like Wedding Crashers, all the way to box office bonanzas like Shrek 2.
  • The only real surprise on Friday was the powerful Friday showing of Nanny McPhee, which snuck into the #2 slot despite being on about half as many theaters as #3 (last week's champ, Underworld). The experts predicted that McPhee would finish third or even fourth.

The Sundance Daily Insider for Saturday, Day 9 ... tomorrow is the final day



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




"Deep Jaws"

Deep Jaws (1976), the soft core sex farce has a great deal of nudity. Tonight, we have several unknowns showing a variety of body parts, Adrianna Bijou as the actress finally hired for the lead role shows breasts and bush, La Vera and Zara (I have no idea which is which) play the two Spanish prostitutes and show everything, Rhianon Vaughan shows breasts and buns, Wilma Shock shows three Bs as the lead in the space film, and the lovely Sandra Carey gives a three B performance, including a gynocam shot as one of the three actresses promised the lead. Her sex scene is especially interesting, as she is taken from behind while clinging to the back of a hanging basket chair.

It is still awaiting 5 votes at IMDb, and there are no reviews available. This is pure wackiness, from the lollypop sucking junior, to the song of praise to Spanish Fly. It made no effort at all to take itself seriously, was completely irreverent, and delivered a great deal of male and female flesh. This is a C+.

Adrianna Bijou

La Vera and Zara

Rhiannon Vaughan

Sandra Carey


Wilma Shock


Today we feature and pay tribute to a lady who has probably done as much screen nudity as anyone in the business. Michelle Bauer of "Scream Queen" fame started making movies in 1981 and is still going strong. She has a staggering 113 credits at IMDB!

Here's Michelle in "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" with what might be here most famous scene wielding a chainsaw on an unlucky guy while she is fully and frontally naked.

Michelle Bauer in "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers"

We also have Michelle topless in "Scream Queen Hot Tub Party". She's outdoors and once again she is playing around with a chainsaw, no victim this time though.

Michelle Bauer "Scream Queen Hot Tub Party"

'Caps and comments by Spaz:

"G2: Mortal Conquest" (1998)
Canadian action and Highlander ripoff. One-timer Bing Shen flashes a boob in a fight scene, Maliong Wang and Singapore Maxim cover model Debbie Wong are topless as bathhouse servants, Meeka Shiro aka Meeka Majic aka Meeka Magic has a topless sex scene, another uncredited actress has a topless sex scene, and various uncredited bimbos show some cleavage.

Bing Shen Maliong & Debbie Wong Meeka Shiro Unknown Various

"Overdrawn at the Memory Bank" (1985)
Canadian sci-fi is almost as bad as its title. Showcase Revue hostess and Lianna star Linda Griffiths is shown in a skimpy bikini and Wanda Cannon has a fully clothed sex scene.

Linda Griffiths Wanda Cannon

"Passage to Ottawa" (2001)
Light drama where Amy Sobol fills out her sweater and bikini quite nicely.

Amy Sobol

"The Last Witness" (1999)
Canadian thriller where Natasha Henstridge has a topless sex scene while one-timer Adrienne Day is sexy as a hooker.

Natasha Henstridge Adrienne Day

"Réjeanne Padovani" (1973)
Another movie about Quebec politics by Gina director Denys Arcand and once again starring Celine Lomez. Version showing on regular cable seems edited as a threesome involving Celine Lomez and Paule Baillargeon is abruptly cut. Anyways Celine Lomez fills out her sweater quite nicely and Frederique Collin shows some bra-less pokies.

Celine Lomez Frederique Collin

"Rats" (2000)
Canadian ahthouse movie not to be confused with the Canadian horror The Rats. Torri Higginson and Christie MacFadyen have some fully clothed sex scenes and show some cleavage and pokies.

Torri Higginson Christie MacFadyen

"Gossip" (200)
An an overlooked scene in this skinless R-rated flick is where Shanly Trinidad shows alot cleavage and upskirt in a fully clothed sex scene.

Shanly Trinidad

"The Donor" (1995)
While Christina Cox did use a boobie double in this movie she wasn't shy about showing her fabulous butt although it's evident she's wearing breast shields.

Christina Cox

"Street Legal": episode Shades of Difference Canadian stage actress Jane Spidell shows alot of cleavage as a stripper.

Jane Spidell

"Lexx" season II:
From the Episode: "The End of the Universe". Louise Wischermann shows alot of cleavage in the season II finale.

Louise Wischermann

"Rescue Me"
From the season 2 episode: 'Rebirth'. Andrea Roth shows partial boob in her yearly nude sex scene.

Andrea Roth

"Body & Soul":
Episode: 'Saviors'. No nudity but Larissa Laskin and April Telek are very sexy.

Larissa Laskin April Telek

Pilot episode. In this tv pilot Yancy Butler is shown discreetly nude in shower while one timer Whitney Westwood shows alot of leg.

Yancy Butler Whitney Westwood

"Dead Man's Gun"
From the pilot episode. April Telek shows partial boob in a sex scene with the late great John Ritter in episode "The Great McDonacle". Teryl Rothery shows alot of cleavage in the same episode. And Deanna Milligan shows cleavage and partial boob in a sex scene is episode "My Brothers's Keeper".

April Telek Teryl Rothery Deanna Milligan

From the Skin-man, here is legendary Scream Queen Linnea Quigley baring a bit o' breast in scenes from "A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master" (1988)

Also from "A Nightmare On Elm Street 4", here is former Heffer Hope Marie Carlton.