"Lust for Freedom"
Lust for Freedom (1987) is a Troma WIP flick. Kaufman got all the WIP cliches into the film, but made many mistakes. First, he took nearly 20 minutes to get the hero into prison, and another 10 to show the first breast. Second, he choose a female lead who didn't do nudity, Melanie Coll. Third, the obligatory naked shower scene was way too short. Fourth, none of the cat fights produced any nudity, nor did the torture scenes. Finally, when it came time to kick ass and get even, the deaths were way to fast, and nowhere near painful enough.
Call was an undercover cop whose fiancee and partner was killed in a bust gone bad. She looses it, and just starts driving. She is eventually arrested on trumped up charges, and thrown into a woman's prison which serves as a drug peddling ring, a white slave market, a whore house, a porno snuff film production company, and a playground for a sadistic head hard, warden and sheriff. Michelle Bauer does full frontal in a lesbo scene with Crystal Breeze, who only shows breasts. Adrian Scott also does full frontal, but Pamela Gilbert only shows breasts. Several unidentified prisoners also show breasts.
IMDb readers have this at 1.9 of 10. The DVD is not very good quality, but it does have all of the required genre scenes, and is hence a low C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
In Praise of Older Women
When the hell are they going to get
this out on a nice DVD? I'm afraid my master plan to convert some
old VHS tapes to DVD is not working out as well as was promised by
my first two efforts. Failing this project, I have ordered a bargain
basement six dollar DVD from amazon.com, but I hold out no high
hopes for that either. I struggled and struggled with this
green-tinted VHS, and I really only got one nice image: the second
one of Alberta Watson. I did manage to get a kinda good shot of
Helen Shaver's famous beaver shot, and a decent look at Karen Black.
Those were just the three most famous
women who showed anything capturable.
The movie contains FAR more nudity:
Karen Black: shows her breasts in a
Helen Shaver shows the whole works
including an open leg shot in a lengthy and well lit scene. She
looked great. Beautiful body, and a face to match.
Alberta Watson shows her breasts in a
lengthy sexual encounter which is mostly talk.
Monique LePage shows breasts and bum in
a shower scene, and then as a young boy grabs her clumsily.
Marilyn Lightstone shows one breast in
a sex scene
Marianne McIsaac shows her breasts and
buns getting in and out of bed.
Alexandra Stewart shows the full monty
pre, during, and post sex.
According to The Bare Facts, Susan
Strasberg shows her breasts in a sex scene with Tom Berenger, and
then clearly after he rolls off her. Unfortunately, the scene is
very dark, and to me it appeared that her bra was still on when she
got up. It was too dark and green to capture anything worth seeing,
although I did one frame below just to give you the idea. Either
way, there isn't much titillation in the visuals, but this is still
quite a hot sex scene simply because the lovers make hungry erotic
talk throughout the lovemaking, as people often do in real life, but
seldom do in the movies!
Berenger shows his bum and Mr Happy in
various sex scenes.
Tough assignment for Berenger, eh? He
did all the sex scenes listed above except the one with Monique
LePage, which was done by a young boy playing Berenger as a youth.
Berenger played the character from age 16 to 23, which was no small
task, considering that he was approaching 30 when this movie was
made. Believe it or not, he was reasonably credible as a schoolboy.
He had the gangly body, his face looked young enough, and he faked
the voice and mannerisms convincingly.
The story is epic in scope, following a
man's life through wartime Hungary, then into the territory
controlled by the Allies, then into Communist Hungary, and
eventually to Canada in the aftermath of the ill-fated 1956
Hungarian Revolution. (It was written in Canada, and the film is
also Canadian.). The movie begins with a 12 year old Hungarian boy
having his first sexual encounter with a mature prostitute. The
story picks up from there four years later, when the same boy (now
played by Berenger) has some disappointing experiences with
girls his own age, and decides that he can eliminate his sexual
incompetence in the same way he originally lost his virginity - by
turning to older women for instruction. He not only learns from the
experienced women, but discovers jubilant sexuality, warmth, and
complexity with them, and they in turn are invigorated by his
enthusiasm, innocence, and lusty prowess.
Finally, he concludes that he does not
want use sex with older women as a training ground for younger
conquests, but as the end itself..
The semi-autobiographical novel was a
respected work of 20th century literature which was widely praised
for its elegant prose style, humor, and candid insights into the
thought processes of women. Many American critics praised the
English language version, and Le Monde awarded all five stars to the
French version, offering the following comments:
"... For eight years, living from hand to
mouth, Vizinczey learned to become a writer in a language of exile.
At the end of his apprenticeship, he published a masterpiece, In
Praise of Older Women ... At the price of discouraging some readers
who are fond of sexual spectacles and amorous gymnastics, it has to
be said that the novel, far from being about fantasies and neuroses,
seeks, like all great novels, to teach those who read it the truth
about life. It is a novel of apprenticeship which would be a good
thing to offer to young people of both sexes as soon as they
approach the enchanted and agonizing shores of sexuality... "
In addition to the poetic language, the
book seems to have developed some philosophical and literary threads
that kept it worth reading.
I'm just assuming that.
In fact, I haven't read the book,
and the movie accomplishes none of that.
The film, in fact, is clumsy. It's just several (often repetitive)
episodes with different women, and not much ties the entire film
together. It's the 70s equivalent of a softcore Cinemax movie.
Although the book was praised for its eloquence, the narration of
the film was straightforward, and even confusing because it was not
done by Tom Berenger, but by a unseen voice which sounded nothing
The production values are weak. The lighting is poor, and the sound
is often incomprehensible.
The music in the film is just a disaster. It used the wah-wah mutes
of slapstick comedy and the merry tinkling transition music of light
comedies and sitcoms. It's just plain goofy. There are plenty of
times when the music seems to be totally inappropriate and
completely at odds with the onscreen action.
IMDb voters call it a wishy-washy 5.6. I found the film tedious and
amateurish, and it rarely held my interest, but I have to admit that
I would sit through it again if there were a newly-mastered version
on DVD, only because a number of sexy women got naked fairly often.
The film was nominated for five Etrogs (the inelegant name for the
hoser Oscars before they were called Genies), winning four. Helen
Shaver won for Best Leading Actress, and Marilyn Lightstone
(not pictures here) for Best Supporting Actress.
Here's the weekend update video from the Paul Giamatti episode.
Condi gets grilled by Barbara Boxer again - on SNL.
Jacko trial rulings: one for the prosecution, one for the defense.
Judge Melville rejected a prosecution request to close
the courtroom to protect the accuser's privacy, ruling that the
boy testify in an open court during the trial. On the other hand,
Melville ruled that 'erotic' material, including pictures of nude
children, seized from the entertainer's Neverland Ranch, could be
shown to jurors during the trial.
Javier Bardem's is sued because he injured a woman while
break-dancing. I hope the statute of limitations has
passed on my own dancing days.
A BUS driver shuttling pupils to school in northern Greece shocked
their parents when he put on a porn tape. The driver
said 'kids we've got porn, do you want to watch it',' one of the
pupils told reporters. 'Everyone started shouting yes, yes and he
just put in a tape and we watched it on the small TV screens on
the bus.' The children were aged 12 to 15.
The trailer for Downfall, a story of Hitler's final 12
days. It is the first German movie about Hitler in nearly 50
Five clips from Will Smith's new comedy, Hitch.
CNN.com - Entertainment Video - Miami Vice to the big screen;
Chris Rock hosting the Oscars.
Psychic Sylvia Brown Predicts: Jacko Convicted, But Blake Gets Off
iraq the vote. A scrapbook of memories of the historic
2005 Iraqi elections.
Dubbed parody of Star Trek TNG
Tailor made condoms? A Taiwanese company produces
condoms in 55 different sizes.
A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself
by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt
The Daily Show: "If it's in the paper, and it doesn't involve a
cat eating lasagna, Bush probably hasn't read it."
The trailer for Bigger Than the Sky.
- "After being dumped by his girlfriend, a man stuck in a
deadend life decides to audition for a small role in a local
community theatre's production of Cyrano de Bergerac. Despite
having no experience as an actor, he lands the lead role, which
wreaks havoc upon his life."
- One of the stars is Patty Duke!
Whatever happrened to ... Keri Russell?
SURE SIGNS YOUR ROMANTIC PARTNER IS TURNING GAY!
- I thought #6 was a pretty sure sign: "Being caught staring
at, talking to, touching, kissing, or having sex with a member
of the same sex."
- Reminds me of when I was teaching high school, and the
principal gave us a pamphlet on how to spot drug users from
their symptoms. One of the signs of glue sniffing was "sticky
fingers and upper lip." As Jack Paar used to say, "I kid you
Movie Juice reviews the hilariously inept Alone in the Dark.
- The protagonists chase down a zillion phony-looking CGI
creatures who not only live in the dark but are invisible. The
best question of the day is asked by this reviewer: Why would
they evolve to be invisible if they live IN THE DARK? My answer:
nature was preparing them for the arrival of Tara Reid with a
- I haven't seen this flick, but it is sad to see that such a
film, which is obviously not even at the level of the best
straight-to-vids, is occupying 2100 screens when some worthy
films struggle to get a chance to be seen. In fact, in the past
year I saw a film called Mindhunters which had the same star
(Christian Slater) and a decent director (Renny Harlin). That
film was essentially never released in the United States. While
Mindhunters is no Schindler's List, it is reasonably
entertaining in a popcorn movie way, and is rated 6.3 at IMDb.
Surely that would have been a much better bet than Alone in the
Dark to get some greenbacks from Christian Slater's American
Jacko Judge mulls porn mags, whether accuser will testify in
Can you still get Super Bowl Tickets? Sure. But you better go back
and get a shitload of dimes.
- What can you say? The sequel you've been waiting for.
Beer Dude 2.0
Serving a Nation at War. The U.S. Army 2004 Year in Photos
CelebSafari - Celebrity Photo. Community submitted,
non-professional photos of celebrities out and about.
How to dance properly
- WTF again, from the same guy -
how to impress your date
The Ultimate Super Bowl Cinderella story. Humble
lunchpail guy takes a couple days off to play in the Big Game. In
the movies, he'd win the game with some big play. In real life?
We'll see ...
SpongeBob marries an ex-Playmate to prove he's not gay.
You have to love Brazilian fashion shows.
If you live in Houston, San Antonio, Memphis, or New Orleans, you
can sign up here to attend a pre-screening of "Cursed"
(Wes Craven's new film)
A year after her startling Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction,"
Janet Jackson is headed to another Super Bowl "event."
First pictures of the Kent Family Farm, in Australia, which is
body doubling for Kansas.. You will see it located at
the base of those famous ... um ...Kansas Mountains.
JoBlo.com has some new pics from Batman and Charlie and the
- Based entirely on a script review,
Ain't It Cool News suggests that Jennifer Garner's part may call
for nudity in the upcoming Catch and Release.
The fabulous are up in arms as lawmakers look to tax facelifts
: "Lawmakers trying to plump up the bottom line are
considering a 'vanity tax' on cosmetic surgery and Botox
injections in Washington, Illinois and other states."
Proctor and Gamble to buy Gillette in $57B stock deal.
Warren Buffett will make a one-day profit of three quarters of a
Hollywood Video Will Not Carry Adult Videos After Buyout
Ford to recall 792,000 SUVs, pickups for fire risk
A Michigan health care company that fired four employees for
smoking is also targeting overweight employees. They
don't intend to fire them, because the laws don't seem to permit
that, but they plan to make them sweat, literally and
Forget polyphonic ringtones - now the thing to get for your mobile
is the latest Moan Tone.
118 Wallypower - for those of you who need a yacht with a cruising
speed of 60 knots. And more if you push it.
Lots of new stills from Robots.
- "Twentieth Century Fox and Academy Award winning director
Chris Wedge, who last joined forces on the blockbuster animated
hit ICE AGE, now team to create another visually spectacular,
three-dimensional world, with an all-star, award-winning cast,
in ROBOTS. Beyond the scope, freshness and vibrancy of an
incredible world populated solely by mechanical beings, Wedge
and his team are creating memorable robots, each with 'his' /
'her' own distinct personality. The result is a timeless tale
that pushes the boundaries of animation, while introducing
characters rich with whimsy, heart and soul."
"The Picture of Everything" (Every cartoon thing.)
Keira Knightley says she has already filmed Pirates of the
Caribbean Two AND Three.
Katie Couric gets busted trying to sneak a lipstick cam into the
Angelina Jolie will join Matt Damon in The Good Shepherd, the
Robert De Niro-directed drama. The movie is a history
of the CIA as seen through the eyes of a career agent whose
marriage is destroyed by the stress and difficulties of the job.
Jolie has been tapped to play the wife.
Brigitte Nielsen has slammed her former mother-in-law Jackie
Stallone's claim she's only 71 years old, because her son is 58.
A devout Baptist couple who bought a Doris Day DVD from a
supermarket were shocked to find a sex film instead. I
love this quote from the husband: "Some topless young women
appeared and started talking in Italian... it's not what you
expect from a Doris Day film"
JoBlo at Sundance, Part 6
JoBlo at Sundance, Part 7
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
and Insects" (1995)
The first film is another one that doesn't need much
introducing. I'm talking about Patsy Kensit giving
her best on-screen nude performance by being a
naughty girl in 1995's "Angels & Insects". Please
refer to the
and have look at Scoop and Tuna's
findings with which I can agree. This film rates 6.8
on the IMDb with more than 25% of voters giving it
an 8 and practically no difference between male and
female voters except when they get older !
"Circle of Two" (1980)
Then we have a workplace, an older man
and a naked girl with a cigar. Who were you thinking
of? Wrong, guys. These events take place in a movie
called "Circle of Two" (1980) and the older man is
none other than Richard Burton. The girl is a young
Tatum O'Neal exposing her breasts and maybe a hint of
her pubes in clip 1, while in clip 2 a couple of
nipslips can be seen. This movie, rated just below 5
on the IMDb is not available on DVD in the US but
there is a region 2 DVD available from Amazon UK for 4
quid. It's also available as a UK import on Amazon
Germany for € 15. Since £ 4 equal € 5.80 I can't
think of any reason why someone would order this from
The voting is over for the Best Nude Debut, the 90's poll.
Stay tuned for complete results and comments.
In the meantime, Here are the results and comments for last week's poll...
Best Nude Debut, the 80's
Email Scoopy Jr. with your comments or future poll suggestions.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
"When Will I Be Loved"
This 2004 drama has 90 seconds that are worthwhile: the beginning 30 where Neve Campbell showers naked, the 30 seconds towards the end where her boyfriend realizes he's encountered a problem he can't BS his way out of, and the 30 seconds at the end where Neve is once again in the shower. The rest of the movie is pure unadulterated crap.
The plot is so convoluted, multi-threaded, confusing, and just plain garbage that it's hard to explain, but basically, a young woman who is treated like an object by her wannabe con-man boyfriend starts exploring her sexuality with others, including a woman. Then, said boyfriend gets her to agree to have sex with a rich old man for a bunch of money. He gets his just deserts in the end, one of the few good parts of this mess, but getting there is torture.
Oh, and on top of everything else, the movie quality, on the DVD at least, is abysmal. The color is Waaaay oversaturated, exposure stinks, the photography itself looks like it was done by a elementary school Video class, and in general, it's just piss-poor like the movie itself.
The only good news: Neve gets naked, and the movie's only 81 minutes long.
Johnny Moronic gives us our first complete look at Portman giving her Oscar nominated performance in "Closer".
Links 9-19 feature her doing the stripping thing. Links 1-8 feature her in a variety of other scenes from the movie.
- Natalie Portman
|Scenes from the heavy-on-style, not-so-much-on-plot Brian De Palma movie, "Femme Fatale" (2002).
Rasmussen is topless as Romijn-Stamos makes out with her. Rebecca does a sexy dance in black undies and is also seen going full frontal under water.
||The French actress showing off one of the best, all natural bodies in film these days. Here she is in scenes from "Swimming Pool" (2003). It's a very slow paced movie, but it's chock full of great nudity!
|Nikki Schieler Ziering
||LC 'caps of the former Heffer (September '97) showing off her robo-hooters and a great thong view in scenes from "National Lampoon's Gold Diggers".
|Vejiita 'caps of the husky voiced "Profiler" star in scenes from "Just Looking" (1995). This is a cool find for 2 reasons.
1)Because it's not on DVD or VHS
2)She shows breasts and bush while skinny dipping! The only down side is that all the goods are under water. But considering that this is her only nude scene caught on film...we'll take it!
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Oscar winner going topless in scenes from "Head in the Clouds" (2004).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
SUPER BOWL HALF-TIME SCRUBBED CLEAN
The Cialis Halftime Show - The NFL is so determined to avoid controversy at
the Super Bowl Half Time show, every costume, lyric and dance move has been
vetted and instead of oversexed young MTV stars, it will have Paul
McCartney, John Fogarty, Earth Wind & Fire and Charlie Daniels.
Let's just hope that Charlie Daniels doesn't have a wardrobe
Also, they took out the Fire...Now, it's just "Earth & Wind."
No Flashy Ads - Budweiser created what would have been one of the funniest
Super Bowl ads, but it's been barred from the Super Bowl. It shows a
stagehand before last year's game using the bra cup of Janet Jackson's
costume to twist off a beer bottle cap. He breaks it, tries to fix it with
tape and walks away, then is shown watching half time on TV with a stunned
look on his face. In light of all the fines over Jackson's breast flash,
the NFL doesn't want it brought up again.
But this is the first believable explanation for it that we've gotten so
We don't get to see this ad, but we also don't get to see Mickey
Rooney's butt, so everything balances out.
WATER CRISIS HITS STARBUCKS ADDICTS
Just Suck The Beans - For two days this week, Phoenix residents were warned
not to drink tap water. The Arizona Republic reports that Starbucks
corporate officials banned their stores from making coffee until the
advisory was lifted, and hundreds of regulars were lined up and going
through withdrawal. One said she tried to buy a bottle of water and talk
them into making coffee with it, but they wouldn't. And a man said, "I'm
desperate. I told them, 'I don't even care about the water. I'll sign a
waiver." A Starbucks manager explained, "We have very passionate
If by "passionate," you mean "jittery caffeine addicts."
If you'd offered them a "Grande Salmonella Frappucino," they would've