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"Zeta One"

Zeta One (1969), which IMDB calls The Love Factor, is an early British sex farce, and send-up of James Bond films. The super agent's name is even James Word, and his boss is "W." As the film opens, the office secretary (Yutte Stensgaard) seduces him, first with a game of strip poker, then later in bed, and pumps him for information about his most recent assignment. He was sent to find out what arch villain Major Bourdon, who is trying to take over a group of female aliens who recruit by kidnapping and brainwashing Earth women, to increase his power.

The alien women spend some time out of their clothes, some with either pasties or their nipples painted blue. Yutte shows all three Bs, and Carolanne Hawkins, Anna Gael, and a host of unknown women show breasts. In the end, James knows too much about the women's society to be left on earth, so they capture him and press him into stud duty. In this early attempt at a skin flick, there is not enough nudity or sex to watch for that aspect, the plot is lame, and the acting is awful. D+

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  • Anna Gael (1, 2)
  • Carolanne Hawkins (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Zeta One (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Yutte Stensgaard (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

    "The Josephine Baker Story" (1991)

    I bought this based on Scoopy's review, and found everything he said to be true. I used to say the hardest thing in the world to do was to come running. I would now say that making a boring biopic about Josephine Baker would have been harder. HBO did their usual stand-up job on this one, but, as Scoop mentioned, it is way too much life for one film.

    Josephine lived in a boxcar with a single mother in St. Louis, and was nearly killed as a child in race riots. She learned that "nobody hates a cute, funny black kid, and made a living as a black face dancer and comedienne. When she was offered a chance to work in Paris, she jumped at it. She found that, not only was black not a bad thing there, but that it was the flavor of the month. She decided she had found home. Her career soared due to an especially racy banana dance, where she bared her breasts, and nearly everything else in a wild jungle dance. She returned to the US for a tour, but found that she went from star to nigger the moment she got off the boat.

    During WWII, she worked for the French resistance until her health wouldn't allow it, then started a USO tour to improve race relations. On her next return to the US, she became a racial activist, but got on the wrong side of Walter Winchel, who crucified her, calling her a communist, and getting her American Visa revoked. Back in France, she proceeded to fill the castle she owned with orphan children, which she called her "rainbow tribe." Her inability to say no to a child eventually caused her bankruptcy. She died on the second night of a gala retrospective of her life.

    Not only is this a fascinating story well told, and a balanced account (they showed her short-comings too), but it has what may be the most beautiful female nudity I have ever seen on film. Lynn Whitfield shows breasts and buns through the first half of the film. Not only does she have a great body, but the exotic lighting and sets make the exposure very special. The sound track, which mainly consisted of French ballads, with a little Cole Porter thrown in, was wonderful. It is a C+ or better. This was one life that merited a biopic, and I would go to see a six hour expanded version.

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  • Lynn Whitfield (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    The Au Pair Girls is a 1971 British nudie film, OK for its type, distinguished in history by a massive amount of frontal and dorsal nudity from Gabrielle Drake, who later became a familar face on UKTV.

    Pump up the Volume had a typical teensploitation script, filled with attractive, noble, sincere teens and unreasonable, insincere adults. It managed to reach a more enduring status than its peers because of a charismatic performance by Christian Slater. Slater played a mild-mannered teen by day who turned into a muckraking, anarchic, chronic masturbating, pirate DJ at night.

    • Samantha Mathis (1, 2, 3)

    Caged Heat is the usual lame "women in prison" movie, but it was directed by Jonathan Demme, if you can believe it. (He did Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia, etc.)



    new volume for Helen Shaver

    updated volume for Samantha Mathis


    The following are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jessica Paré
    (1, 2)

    Piper Perabo
    (1, 2, 3)

    Bare breasts and lesbo love in scenes from "Lost and Delirious"

    Leelee Sobieski
    (1, 2)

    Link #1 has Leelee in a bikini from "The Glass House". Link #2 is her almost full frontal scene (with arms over goods) from "Uprising".

    Anna Friel Great pokies and a single exposed breast in "Rogue Trader"

    The continuing saga of Kristi Ducati in Bikini Carwash Company. When last we saw our heroine she was draped, topless and seductively (ah, but I repeat myself) on the hood of a red Beemer. She's still there today. Didn't think anyone would mind. Two collages worth of fun: the first is my personal favorite of this particular collaboration with Tuna. Kristi looks frigging marvelous. The second collage is huge but I wanna hear no complaints, since it includes five of Tuna's frames in a handy carrying case.
    • Kristi Ducati (1, 2)

    Also up for today is Elinna McCormick in Frozen With Fear. No wait, that's what I would have called it. The makers called it Frozen IN Fear, as if fear were a supercooled liquid. We got your closeups of both frontal B's.

    Three more collages of Tuna-capped babes finish up things:

    Elizabeth Margoni in "The Professional". Can't decide whether this is a mature woman with a well-maintained caboose, or a young shapely babe with a mature-looking face. 'Course it's always possible the face and the caboose belong to different people, but that would be cheating and they never do that kind of thing in movies.

    Helen Pappas in Central Park Drifter. A boobs-only view of things in these caps.

    Karen Young in Mercy, sport-humpin' with her panties on. A novel contraceptive method.


    Part 2 coverage from two movies I looked at recently.

    First up...Today's "Hankster Lite" features Natalie O'Connell topless in "Breeders". Scoop and Tuna both reviewed this movie a while back with the same end result..."terrible piece of film making, but an excellent source of T & A".

    • Natalie O'Connell (1, 2, 3, 4)
    Next up, more of our unknown "Babe in Bondage" victim in scenes from "Outdoor Bondage Doublecross". Plenty of breast exposure, a little bum, and lots of being tied up.

    Zenguru's Runway Report
    An assortment of hot models showing some goodies on the catwalk.

    Asia Argento
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

    Looking fantastic in "B. Monkey". Quite a change from the Euro-skank look she went for in "Scarlet Diva"! Excellent breast exposure, and lots of it in several nude scenes. Links 12 and 13 are dark, but feature close up views below the equator.

    Angelina Jolie
    (1, 2)

    Topless in "Gia". Vidcaps by Snowblind.

    Valérie Kaprisky
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    A few collages by BFD featuring Valérie topless and baring her bum in "Breathless" (1983).

    Liane Forestieri
    (1, 2, 3)

    From the German movie "Looosers" (1995)...Topless in #3, great pokies in #1 and link #2 has her lathered up in the shower with an excellent bush view and more toplessness.

    The Funnies by Number 6
    Ten Shortest Books
    1. Career Opportunities for History Majors
    2. Contraception by Pope John Paul II
    3. Detroit - A Travel Guide
    4. Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
    5. Easy UNIX
    6. Bulgarian Tips on World Dominance
    7. Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
    8. Everything Men Know about Women
    9. French Hospitality
    10. Bob Dole: The Wild Years
    I'd just like to point out that the girl in yesterday's FunHouse from "101 Reykjavik" isn't unknown at all... Her name simply is unpronouncable to the rest of the world! ;-)

    She's Þrúður Vilhjálmsdóttir, reasonably well known younger Icelandic actress. (And I guess I'm her biggest fan outside Iceland!)