Andromina: The Pleasure Planet (1999) is a very soft soft core from Surrender Cinema. It is about an expedition to the all female planet of Eros via some sort of transporter travel to bring back women for the cosmic brothel, Andromina. Eros is full of hostile tribes of women, and by inter-galactic treaty, off-limits for men. Naturally, our three heros separate, get into trouble, then seduce the man haters and bring them back to Andromina. Seduction consists of showing the women their many chests.

Forget about acting, they certainly did. Severl women shows breasts or more, including Flower, Susan Hale, Griffin Drew, Michelle Turner and Shannan Leigh. The simulated sex was brief, not at all explicit, and had no heat. The DVD was extremely grainy. IMDb readers have this at 3.3 of 10. Surprisingly, women score this at 5.0 against a 2.8 from men, making it a chick flic by our definition. I would guess the theme of a planet run by women is the reason. This is just barely adequate late night entertainment, and so C-.

Other Crap:

• MPAA files new film-swapping suits
• The Arizona Cardinals unveiled on Thursday a re-designed team logo, updating the classic Cardinal head that has been synonymous with the team for decades. “This is just the latest in a series of exciting changes for the Cardinals over the last year that reflect a positive new direction for the franchise,” declared a team spokesman. I gotta think that making the playoffs would be a more exciting change than tilting the birdie's head at a different angle, but what do I know?
• Here is the 2005 preview from Fox Searchlight Pictures.
• VH1.com has some insane outtakes from The Surreal Life
• Hal Hartley will market his new film through direct DVD sales from his website.
• Irv Lorenzo, the "gangsta rap" impresario, has been charged with laundering money for one of New York's most notorious drug lords. That was his mistake, and a good lesson for you youngsters. The police and FBI keep an eye on notorious drug lords, and you can make just as much by laundering money for New York's humble, obscure drug lords. In fact, you can probably make more, because the unknowns don't have the bargaining power.
• I know this story is labeled "(AP)", but this has to be a put-on, right? ... Right? Oklahoma Senator Wants Boxing Gloves on Chickens. State Sen. Frank Shurden, a longtime defender of cockfighting, is suggesting that roosters be given tiny little boxing gloves so they can fight without bloodshed.
• The trailer from The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse.
  • "Due to a bizarre turn of events the fictional world of Royston Vasey is facing annihilation and the only way for its strange inhabitants to avert this disaster, is for them to somehow find their way into the real world and confront their creators. Based in a combination of present day Soho in London and 17th Century Britain, the residents must overcome a series of peculiar events to return their beloved village to safety. This quirky comedy is the big screen adaptation of the hugely successful cult BBC series."
• Borowitz: Harvard to offer Home Ec major.: "Coming in the wake of Mr. Summers' recent controversial remarks about purported intellectual differences between the sexes, the Harvard president's decision to introduce a home economics major for women was widely seen as an olive branch of sorts."
• Eight clips from the dreaded "Son of the Mask"
• MTV has the English language version of the trailer for Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo
• A new featurette on Cameron's Aliens of the Deep
• The trailer for The Nomi Song. The Trailer News website wrote, "The trailer is overflowing with cuts and keeps pace with an energetic soundtrack. Nomi is a bizarre subject not because he is some kind of supreme intellectual being, but because his art looks like it could be purchased from the neighborhood Goodwill. Buy some make-up and hair gel and suddenly you're an alien? Only in a world of drugs."
• USA TODAY's Oscar Oracle shows Eastwood and Scorsese still in a dead heat for best director, but neither of their films leading the race for Best Picture.
• New Yorker writer Seymour Hersh talks to Jon Stewart about current U.S. involvement in the Middle East.
• The Daily Show's Rob Corddry investigates an homage to Charles Schultz that is tearing a Minnesota town apart. (Very funny report. I laughed out loud a few times.)
• The Daily Show's "This Week in God": Stephen Colbert looks at the portrayal of Muslims on TV and asks atheists 'where's your no-god now?'
• Jon Stewart offers an introduction to Iran, before its map is covered with troop movement diagrams.
• Jon Stewart discusses Sponge Bob
• Jon Stewart interviews actor/comic John Leguizamo
• The Daily Show discusses the Condoleeza confirmation hearing. She needs to be confirmed, because "you can't judge a book by its contents.'
• Urban Legends Reference Pages: "the 25 urban legends currently circulating most widely"
• Weekly World News says: Women have breast implants, and now guys can get muscle implants - get six-pack abs and killer biceps overnight - without exercise!
• Weekly World News offers 12 great tips for a sizzling night of love ... self-love, that is. You mean Weekly World News readers need tips on how to jerk off? I doubt it. National Review readers, now that is a different story.
• Weekly World News: "18 NURSES PREGNANT AFTER REST HOME VIAGRA PARTY"
• Peyton Manning is not handling defeat all that well. Hey, Peyton, you're a great QB, but the Patriots just had too much talent at too many positions, and fate was even with them this year with the weather conditions. Next year, dude. Next year.
• The history of Windows Code Names. Win 95 was originally called Chicago, and the unreleased Win 96 was Nashville. As you probably have read, the latest OS-in-training is called Longhorn
• President Bush's Statement Lamenting the United States Supreme Court's Inability to Make Up Its Cotton-Picking Mind About Whether It's OK to Kill Retards and Vegetables
• The official daily dose of Eva Longoria sex stories. This girl needs to meet Colin Farrell.
• This probably won't work if you have a dial-up connection. Big boobies - They look expensive
• Turns out professional wrestling is a sport, at least in the same sense that soccer is a sport.
• Good news for Russell Crowe and Sean Penn. The future is in paparazzi-proof cameras. "anyone who doesn't want their photo taken at a particular time could hit a clicker to ensure that any cameras or camera-equipped gadgets in range got only a fuzzy outline of their face. "
• Two clips from Hustle & Flow, a hit at Sundance, which Paramount has now acquired.
  • Djay is a pimp suffering a midlife crisis, yearning to be a rap star, and after being galvanized by a gospel song, he gets to work, finding it a very hard road to fame and respect.
• Mass murderer 'Carlos the Jackal' wins a case against France at the European rights court. It seems that the French authorities took away his access to Uncle Scoopy's Fun House. Now THAT is cruel and unusual.
• This must be "before and after" day. This time, Britain uses mugshots in anti-drug drive. (See link below for more like this)
• Scary "before and after" pictures of meth abusers.
• Dubya's sports career.  

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

"Carrie" (1976)

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Best Nude Debut, the 80's

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Jo Johnston

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Finola Geraghty
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FRAT BOY CINEMAPHILES
Buffs In The Buff - Police in Durham, North Carolina, got a noise complaint about a frat party at Duke University, and when they checked the basement, they found a number of frat boys in an inflatable pool filled with baby oil and women in bikinis. Apparently, they were movie buffs. A police spokesman said, "Inside were several of America's future, re-enacting a scene from the movie 'Old School.'" Police cleared out the revelers and sent some of the women home in subfreezing temperatures, wearing nothing but bikinis.