"All That Jazz"

All That Jazz (1979) is the semi-autobiographical story of director/choreographer Bob Fosse told as a musical comedy. Fosse co-wrote, directed, and did the choreography. The Fosse character (named Joe Gideon) was played to perfection by Roy Scheider. Gideon was a notorious womanizer, smoked like a chimney, drank, and used uppers constantly. His life was work and debauchery. The angel of death (Jessica Lange) was the only person he was honest with, and he did not heed her advice. He screwed up a marriage and was an on-again off-again father.

As the film opens, we see a "cattle call" tryout for dancers for his latest show. He essentially does A Chorus Line in ten minutes, and ends up casting one no talent dancer (Deborah Geffner), just to get into her pants. We see her breasts as she walk up stairs to his bed. The years of physical abuse catch up to him, and he ends up in the hospital for a triple bypass, but still hasn't learned his lesson.

The best known exposure is from Sandahl Bergman (Conan the Barbarian, Red Sonja) as the lead dancer in a very sexual production number. We are treated to several minutes of her breasts and buns as she dances. There is also plenty of breast exposure from other dancers, strippers, and a random hospital nurse.

IMDB readers have this at 7.5 of 10. It won Oscars for Editing, Costume, music and set design, and nominations for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Writing and Best Cinematography. While the film has a very off-beat narrative style, such as showing his death as a production number to a parody of the Everly Brothers Bye Bye Love, a lot of songs I personally enjoy, and some good performances, I found it overly long, and a little repetitious. Clearly, however, the film appeals to some who don't usually like musical comedies. B-.

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  • Deborah Geffner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Sandahl Bergman (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    You guys know I've capped some movies with serious nekkidness. Inside Club Wild Side? Four babes, eight scenes, hooties, bum and bush to beat the band. But that was Mary Fucking Poppins compared to Mummy's Kiss. Hell, it was Ice Station Zebra (onliest movie I know with not one woman in it, clothed or otherwise) compared to this here mummy movie.

    Eleven babes, over twenty scenes, most with two nekkid babes, oft-times three and every once in a while four. It has taken me forever to grab over 600 frames and to get them into something resembling a coherent set of collages. That is the real good news. Lots and lots of nekkid babes, no more than five minutes of screen time without a couple of 'em hanging around all topless and stuff, real nice transfer to DVD, occasionally great photography although more often the DP seems to have forgotten how to set up his light source or use the available natural sources. And the plot ain't bad. Tis a ripoff of The Mummy, in which the forbidden love is between two women. Things go along pretty predictably and end perfectly predictably.

    And then you hit about forty minutes of outtakes and things, most of which are occupied by even more scenes of nekkid women. In those outtakes the women, in general, the lead actress, in particular, are natural and attractive and really pleasing to watch. Now the bad news: none of them can act. They stiffen up while the scene is being filmed, become as warm as a rock and looked like Dan Quayle in front of a tv camera. There's this one scene that sums it all up. The lead actress, one Ava Niche, has a line in which she tells the modern incarnation of her forbidden love that their modern selves are gone and only their ancient Egyptian selves, complete with ancient Egyptian names, are left. She pronounces those names as if she has had to work really, really hard to get them out. Sure enough, in the outtakes and bloopers, she is shown going through a half-dozen takes messing up the names. Director must have said, Cut! Print!" as soon as she got it right, even though it sounds so horrible to the ear. That's the way the whole movie is, but I got through it by keeping my attention away from dialogue and diction and onto boobs and bum.

    So we gotta split up the exposure because there is too much for one day, maybe even one week. Thirty-nine collages today of Miss Ava Niche. Don't bother searching for anything else she's done. Google will send you to sites that cover this movie only. That's something of a surprise because the babe is built. We are talking jumbo jacks here. And a nice enough tush and a nether region not one of us would sneeze at. So here is Ava Niche, in a triple B performance. Enjoy it, because with her acting skills she is likely to get little screen time, and then only in niche roles (Yes! I couldn't wait to write that.)

    You'll see that Ava is in a lot of girl-girl scenes. One of them has veteran B movie babes Regina Russell and Diana Espen (who is also known as pornster April Flowers or April Summers), but most have her ancient and modern paramour, played by Sasha Peralta. There isn't much heat in the g/g scenes with Sasha Peralta, nothing like that kiss in Femme Fatale, but it is interesting enough.

    Moving on to the outtakes. The exposure here includes el primo views of Ava's seriously nice hooties all out in the open and then barely restrained by a golden bra.

    And then we finish with outtakes of a Ava-Sasha scene, in which the girls actually look like they are enjoying themselves.

    • Ava Niche (outtakes) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Ava Niche and Sasha Peralta (out takes) (1, 2, 3)

    By the way...Ava Niche also goes by the names Ava Lake (Animal Attraction II; Fast Lane to Vegas) and Mia Zottoli (about a million movies). Face recognition is not my forte. But it's her own damn fault, changin' names like that without telling anyone!

    Anne Brendler Cleavage and undies in scenes from "Kein Mann für eine Nummer".

    Chris Pichler Brief breast exosure in scenes from the German TV series "Julia - Eine ungewöhnliche Frau".

    Corinna Nilson Cleavage, undies and topless from "Kein Mann für eine Nummer".

    Elke Winkens
    (1, 2)

    Small and skin tight clothes, pokies, undies, cleavage and topless. Scenes from the German TV series "Kommissar Rex"

    Franziska Petri Topless in a couple of scenes from "Vergiss Amerika" (2000).

    Ivonne Schönherr The young actress looks great in lingerie in these scenes from "Zwei Affären und eine Hochzeit" (2002).

    Jana Pallaske
    (1, 2)

    Breasts and bum in scenes from "Engel & Joe" (2001).

    Jana Straulino The young German actress topless in "Voll korrekte Jungs" (2002).

    Jessica Schwarz Topless scenes from "Die Freunde der Freunde" (2002).

    Nina Bott A little bit of breast, but mostly very nice rear nudity in scemes from "Das Beste Stück" (2002).

    Nina Hoger Full frontal nudity from "Marleneken".

    Svenja Pages Topless in a dark scene from "Flamenco der Liebe" (2002).

    An excellent batch of nude Spanish models.

    Jennifer Garner
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Kudos to Applecot for these great 'caps from Sunday night's "Alias". Garner looked amazing in lingerie!

    Shania Twain
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Applecot strikes again with these 'caps of Shania and her cleavage at the Super Bowl. Not really a lot of skin, but boy did she bounce around a lot :-)

    Élodie Bouchez A great collage by Dann of the French actress topless and full frontal in scenes from "J'aimerais pas crever un dimanche" aka "Don't Let Me Die On a Sunday" (1998).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Too Bad Their Fans Were All Asleep By 8:30 - In Sunday's Super Bowl, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers walloped the Oakland Raiders 48-21...

  • Oakland quarterback Rich Gannon was so frustrated, he threw his helmet to the ground...and it was intercepted.
  • After the game, the Tampa Bay players said, "Aw geez, do we have to go to Disney World again?!"
  • Hey, Rich Gannon! You just threw a Super Bowl record five interceptions! Where are you going now?..."I'm goin' to Unemployment World!"
  • Back in Florida, rioting Tampa Bay fans hurled their walkers through the windows of pharmacies and looted all the Metamucil.
  • There were riots and looting in Oakland, too...Not because of the Super Bowl, just the usual Sunday night riots and looting.
  • Tampa Bay went from being the losingest team in the NFL to Super Bowl champs...It's like Adam Sandler winning an Oscar.
  • The winning team was serenaded with two songs from Bon Jovi...The losers got FOUR songs from Bon Jovi.
  • In the Super Bowl halftime show, Gwen Stefani and Sting bucked tradition by actually singing live, but Shania Twain obviously lip-synched...Luckily, no man watching ever looked as high as her lips...When Shania appeared in that outfit, I thought it was a commercial for "Matrix 3: Rise of the Cyber-Hookers."
  • ABC used the game as a lead-in to a special episode of "Alias"...They should used an alias for this show, and called it "When Victoria's Secret Models Attack."

    Must've Been The Law School - Firefighters rushed to Middlesbrough College in England to put out a blaze and were told there were animals inside. They rushed through dense smoke and reemerged with several boxes. It was only then that they learned they'd risked their lives to rescue two tarantulas, two geckos, a corn snake, two green toads and a box of cockroaches.

  • The cockroaches would've survived anyway.
  • Then the geckos ate the roaches, the toads ate the geckos, the tarantulas ate the toads, and the snake ate the tarantulas.
  • But they did refuse to go back in and rescue any frat boys.

    Is This News? - Dr. Kenneth Eisold, president of the International Society for the Psychoanalytic Study of Organizations, says that if corporate leaders, from Ken Lay to Martha Stewart, weren't CEOs, they'd be considered sociopaths. As individuals, they'd just be branded unethical and conscienceless, but because they're in a group that never challenges them, they have no internal conflicts, and their unethical behavior becomes normal.

  • In other words, it's just like being in high school.
  • Hey, YOU try challenging Martha Stewart!
  • And all the members of the Society for the Psychoanalytic Study of Organizations agreed with him.

    New Queen Of Nice - Martha Stewart finally broke her silence with an interview with the New Yorker. She compared herself to Hillary Clinton, whom she said called her when her stock scandal broke to say that it's the American "process" to move up, get knocked down, then get up again. She said she's "puzzled" that she's been vilified because all she's ever done is purvey information to homemakers and "I've never not been nice to anybody."

  • Again, that's just what Hillary said.
  • Well, she has put Ex-Lax in a few batches of toll house cookies...
  • Hillary also assured her that it's just the "American process" to make a lot of money on a shady stock deal.
  • Martha just can't figure out why all the peasants hate her.