(Australia Day)

Aesthete returns tomorrow!

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

26 January is Australia Day

It's the day on which we commemorate the arrival of the First Fleet (of 504 convicts and 348 soldiers and other free persons in 11 ships) into Sydney Cove in 1788. Nowadays, it has become much more than that and is now Australia's National Day.

To help you understand some of the Australian slang in the movie descriptions, I have included the following glossary:

  • a bit of allright - grouse
  • bottler - something pleasing, excellent
  • clayton's - fake, substitute
  • clobber - clothes
  • grouse - very good
  • gyno - gynaecologist
  • have a naughty - have sex
  • heaps - a lot
  • knockers - breasts
  • mad as a cut snake - crazy
  • map of tassie - pubic area (the current fashion of brazilians has sort of made this redundant) Tassie is short for Tasmania, Australia's island state
  • norks - breasts
  • nuddy, in the - stark naked
  • ocker - uncultured Aussie that likes beer, sport and women (a typical late teen and early twenty year old male). The Aussie equivalent of the frat boy.
  • old fella - penis
  • outback - the interior of Australia, mostly very dry but there are many places with water, if you know where to look
  • starkers - naked
  • sunbake - sun bathe, get a tan
  • togs - swim suit
  • undies - underclothes
  • walkabout - a walk in the the outback by aborigines that lasts for an indefinite amount of time
  • yartz - arts

Blood Brothers

Blood Brothers (2011) is a TV movie. It was watchable, even more so when Cariba Heine flashes her knockers.


Fantasm (1976), and the next movie Fantasm Comes Again, are in the genre ozploitation. They are a series of short stories joined together with some sort of narrative. The main thing the stories have in common is women and men who are starkers, with a few gyno shots thrown in for good measure. Despite the movies being Australian, the majority of women are American porn stars. The DVD commentary gives you more details about how the movies came about. You may recognize some of the names:

Dee Dee Levitt

Gretchen Gayle

Helen O'Connell

Maria Arnold

Maria Lutra

Maria Welton

Mary Gavin

Ronnie Scholes



Sue Doloria

Uschi Digard

Wendy Cavenaugh

Fantasm Comes Again

Fantasm Comes Again (1977) is just a lot more maps of tassie:

Angela Menzies-Wills

Brenda Fogerty

Christine De Schaffer

Dee Dee Levitt

Elaine Collins

Helen O'Connell

Liz Wolfe

Lois Owens

Mary Gavin

Mary Johnson

Melinda York

Michael Barton


Nancy Mann

P. J. Jackson - Candy Fox

Rainbeaux Smith

Rene Bond


Suzanne Walsh

Suzy A Star - Amanda Smith

Uschi Digard

I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer

For those unfamiliar with cricket, a run is the means of scoring c.f. to home runs in baseball. This is where the title for the movie I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer (2008) comes from. Unfortunately, it is a bit of a dud in a couple of ways. Firstly, the movie itself and secondly with the nudity.

Stacey Edmonds is supposed to be in the nuddy taking a shower but it's clayton's nudity. The body double is Arianne Starr, who has a long list of credits including being a stripper, in Miss Nude World and as a Penthouse Pet.

Les Patterson Saves the World

Les Patterson Saves the World (1987) stars Les Patterson, an ocker creation by Barry Humphries. Barry also created Dame Edna Everage and he is one of Australia's best and long-lasting comedians. Sir Les Patterson is supposed to be Australia's minister for the yartz. There is no nudity but Pamela Stephenson is down to her undies.

Mad Max 2

Mad Max 2 (1981) is one up on the original Mad Max movie by putting in a bit of nudity. Like the original, this movie is set in the outback where there is vicious fighting between different gangs. Mad Max was very popular, particularly in Australia, and they're currently in the process of making a fourth.

Anne Jones

and an unidentified rape victim show their knockers.

Maslin Beach

Maslin Beach is a coastal suburb of Adelaide, the capital of the state of South Australia. However it is famous (infamous?) because its beach became the first official nude beach in Australia in 1975. Technically, this movie is about Maslin Beach's beach. It is one day in the life of a number of people who spend the day sunbaking. There are heaps of women completely starkers (and men if you're more inclined to look at old fellas). They are:

Alison Sclander

Bonnie-Jaye Lawrence

Charmaine Lyle

Chelsea Stokell

Di Williams

Eliza Lovell

Irena Westbrook

Jennifer Ross

Kate Jenkin

Leylah Love

Madeleine James

Rachel Feary

Tracy Korsten

Zara Collins

Some not identified

Ten Empty

Ten Empty (2008) is a typical Aussie relationships movie - only for the keen. However, Blazey Best did get her clobber off and flash her breasts whilst having a naughty.

Voodoo Lagoon

Voodoo Lagoon (2006) is a horror film about a group of students who go on a holiday on a tropical island. The women all get down to their togs but there is not a lot of nudity.

They go skinny dipping and Natalie Blair gives us a bit of a flash,

and Erika Heynatz also briefly flashed the norks.


Walkabout (1971) is a quintessential movie for its time, and it is still very watchable. It stars Jenny Agutter and David Gulpilil. Jenny and her younger brother (no characters are named) are deserted in the outback by their father who was mad as a cut snake. There they meet David who is going walkabout but he saves them. They join up until Jenny and her brother are eventually rescued. The IMDB has it with a rating 7.7, which gives you an idea of how grouse it is.

From a FH point of view, Jenny Agutter is in the nuddy,

some aborigines are showing their norks

and Noeline Brown is a bit of bottler.

I have included movies showing some of Jenny's contribution.


Wilfred was a TV series that run over two series of eight episodes in 2007 and 2010. Wilfred was a dog, played by a human. You had to see it to understand it. Personally, I didn't particularly like it but somebody did. An American version of it was made last year and has an IMDB rating of 8.2. The nudity comes in the second series.

Episode 2 Dog of a Town - Part 1

Cindy Waddingham (or, at least, her body double Michelle Scuderi)

and Maureen Sherlock are completely starkers.

Serina Langlands shows a lot of cleavage.

Episode 3 Dog of a Town - Part 2

Maureen Sherlock is again starkers

and Cindy Waddingham is a bit of allright.

Episode 5 Ice Dog Cometh

Cindy Waddingham is showing a bit cleavage

and Maya Alekasandra flashes a bit of side nork.