Thursday

Nickel Mountain (1984)

It ain't easy to get a good look at Heather Langenkamp nekkid. Apart from a very brief underwater peek in Nightmare on Elm Street, the only screen nudity from this 80s starlet was in Nickel Mountain, a film which has never come to DVD. It's been a while since the last time. Both of those movies came out in 1984. Of course she doesn't really do much acting any more. She has only one IMDb credit since 1995, and that was in a 1999 Fred Olen Ray movie.

IMDb reported last year that she was "in negotiations" to appear in a film called Diablita, but I don't know the status of that project. Even if she is in it, I don't think we can expect her to add to her nudity resume since she's now 41 years old. (Damn, does that make me feel old.) On the other hand, stranger things have happened. Look at Laura Linney!

At any rate, Heather was quite a looker 21 years ago, so it's worthwhile to  look at a couple of short VHS clips. (1, 2)

 


Other Crap:

A statistical review of a billion web pages

"Online search engine leader Google Inc. has agreed to censor its results in China, adhering to the country's free-speech restrictions in return for better access in the Internet's fastest growing market."

"Horse Sex Porn Candy Teens! Inside! Fresh Google search terms to confound Dubya and the FBI."

President Bush's Remarks to National Association of Coal Miner Widows Announcing Compassionate New Survivor Benefits (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

Amazing video! The U.S. government test-crashes an F4 Phantom jet straight into a wall specially designed to absorb the impact

Seth McFarland and Alex Borstein perform a Family Guy duet live on Jimmy Kimmel

Today's Sundance Insider

Can you buy an AK-47 on the Home Shopping Network? I guess this is a satire. I hope it's not real.

The Erotic (.pdf) Map of Canada, a loving tour starting at the Atlantic with Dildo, through Bare Butt Bay, and then out west to Suck Creek

Another Mr Skin update from Sundance


The Science of Sleep *** Caitlin Higgins screws a guy on top and we get some solid glances at her terrific breasts. *** Aurelia Petit is in a bathtub, her boobs covered with cellophane. She then gets out of the tub and we can see her ass.

David Duchovny to play the Hulk

  • "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Come to think of it, I'm kind of obnoxious even when I'm not angry."
  • That puts a new spin on the character. People be tauntin' Banner to turn him into the Hulk on purpose.

The World Sunlight Map in nearly-real time. (I think it is updated on the half-hour)

Another clip from The Matador

"JENNIFER ANISTON ACQUIRES NUCLEAR WEAPON ... Ballistic Missile Could Reach Malibu, Experts Fear"

  • A Presidential aide said that there was a silver lining in the Aniston news: “If a Hollywood star was going to acquire a nuclear weapon, we should all be grateful that it wasn’t Russell Crowe.”

The Daily Show asks, "Have you driven a Ford lately, or are you too busy attaching neon lights to the bottom of your Kia?"

The Daily Show asks, "How can George Bush get out of an unscreened question? ... By feigning hearing loss, of course!

The Daily Show's Dan Bakkedahl investigates the spurs, cowboy hats and tight jeans at the gay rodeo.

Reza Aslan, the author of "No God But God" talks to Jon Stewart about the status of the "War on Terror."

"Richard Hatch, who won $1 million in the debut season of the reality show 'Survivor,' was found guilty Wednesday of failing to pay taxes on his winnings and taken straight to jail."

Which Sports Car Are You?

  • Turns out I was a Yugo

From our "be still, my beating heart" department: Magnum P.I. is coming to the big screen

Dirty girls, clean cars ... a variation on The Subservient Chicken

How to catch fish with a boat and a flashlight

"A four-year-old British girl was stunned to receive a reply to her message in a bottle from a boy in Australia"

101 Dumbest Moments in Business ...(plus the dumbest and smartest moves of 2005)

Production on NBC's "My Name Is Earl" is being shut down for a couple of weeks because Jason Lee has the chicken pox!

First look at Benicio del Toro as Che!

Sex helps calm nerves before public speaking.. full sexual intercourse offers the best results, psychologist says.

  • I think we're starting to understand a lot about President Bush's love-life

A large gallery of stills from Ice Age 2

Some more of Mr Skin's nudity reports from Sundance:


Flannel Pajamas: *** Justin Kirk is eating out Julianne Nicholson. We see him between her legs from her point-of-view and shots of her breasts as she begs him to get inside her. *** Nicholson is in her bathtub naked, bent over and peeing. Kirk joins her in the tub and when she leans back we can see her breasts. *** Nicholson strips down to pink bra and panties while Kirk watches. She takes them both off and then stands full frontal up against the wall. She comes and lays down on the floor next to Kirk and we see her butt. Then we see her full frontal again in the next shot when he gets off of her. *** Nicholson lies on the bed face down with her butt exposed. Kirk kisses a scar on her butt. *** Nicholson is sitting down naked doing her makeup. We see her butt on the stool and brief breasts in the mirror she is facing.
 


The Hawk is Dying: *** Paul Giamatti pulls the covers partially off of Michelle Williams, who is lying naked in her bed partially curled up. We see her butt. *** Paul Giamatti imagines Michelle Williams dead in the forest. She is on the ground naked and we see her butt from behind.

Things You Should NOT Put in a Microwave

Abramoff fingerprints found on president's buttocks

JoBlo does Sundance - Day #3

Here's a fairly long excerpt from the very boring Colin Farrell Sex Tape!

Stephen dims the lights, puts on soft music, and talks about Medicare.

Henri Matisse biography surprise winner of British book prize

Who owns election data?

  • "The state Division of Elections has refused to turn over its electronic voting files to the Democrats, arguing that the data format belongs to a private company and can't be made public.
    The Alaska Democratic Party says the information is a public record essential for verifying the accuracy of the 2004 general election and must be provided."

MPAA admits to unauthorized movie copying!

Techies try to find a way to predict the winners at Sundance

 

 


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

Confessions of a Call Girl (2002)

This is another soft-core starring hard-core performers, and once again IMDb has not heard of it. The production company is the same as for Air Erotica and this one also seems to be a former hard-core sex film cut to eliminate penetration and male genitalia.

As the film opens, Callie Cox fantasizes about sex with a workman outside. She then sees her big sister Alana Evans writing in a personal journal before leaving for her job at a restaurant. Becoming suspicious of her sister's irregular hours and huge tips, she reads the journal and discovers that big sis is actually a call girl. She goes to the restaurant, meets another woman, Daisy, and ends up going with her for a "date." Later, big sis is showering when her pager goes off, so little sister takes the job. Little sis then joins the company.

While the plot is hard-core level minimal, the sex has real heat, and this is a chance for those who prefer not to watch hard core see hard core babes in all their glory. I have to believe that is a good thing. The photography and transfer are outstanding, yielding images of nearly photographic quality, and all three women show everything.  As couples erotica, this is a C+.

 

Callie Cox

Alana Evans

Daisy

 


Lord of War (2005)

Lord of War (2005) is based on the realities of arms dealing, and is told in a pseudo-documentary style, with narration by Nic Cage as the arms dealer. It chronicles how he started in the business, married a trophy wife (Bridget Moynahan), and eventually became the biggest private arms dealer in the world, with ties to nearly every dictator and corrupt military official across the globe. Cage points out early in the film that there is a firearm for every 12 people in the world, and his only problem is to figure out how to arm the other 11. He also claims that individual firearms are the real weapons of mass destruction.

It is kind of the moral of the film that the five largest arms dealers in the world, the US, Russia, China, England and France, are also the five permanent members of the UN Security Council, and that private arms dealers like the one portrayed by Cage are the inevitable result of this global militarism.

For this film to work, since it deals with horrific people and events, it was necessary to make Cage a sympathetic character, and they succeeded by having him use dark and self-effacing humor. They also made his nemesis, an over-zealous ATF agent, a very unpleasant person. The film mirrored Cage's view that he simply sold weapons, and that it was not his concern how they were used. There was ample evidence, however, of the atrocities that were, and are, committed with illegal arms.  All of this sounds like a very political film, but it isn't. First, I doubt you will find many people who think the slaughter of women and children with AK 47s is a great idea, so there is no real controversy about the film's point of view. Second, the film made no effort to exaggerate international arms sales, or the outcome of many of these deals. Yes, there is a strong moral message, but it is washed down with what is a beautifully shot, well acted, humorous film.

The film was a box office disappointment and the critics were not kind, but the 7.5 at IMDb is actually adjusted downward from an actual average vote of 8, thus indicating a strong groundswell of admiration. As you may recall, Scoopy was wildly enthusiastic about this film. While I enjoyed it, and think it a fine effort, I was not as impressed as he was. I never like heavy narration, although in this case it was very well delivered, and contained much of the black humor. I would agree with Scoopy's rating of C+, as a fine film but not for everyone.

There were several scenes of brief nudity, including a breast from Annelene Terblanche, breasts and buns from Liz Jooste and Tanya Finch, a possible bush shot from Bridget Moynahan and a breast from an unidentified hooker.

 

Annelene Terblanche
Liz Jooste
Tanya Finch
Bridget Moynahan
Unknown

 

 

 



Today, it's a short trip to the 90's for a doubleheader of "Babes in Bondage".

First up is Melanie Goode in "Die Watching" and the title tells it all. Melanie is suffocated and forced to watch her own death on a television monitor as she is to a chair with nothing to cover her very impressive set of robo-hooters.

B-Movie regular Gabriella Hall also tied to a chair in "Shadow Dancer," sadly we only get a glimpse of her boobs after she escapes.

 

 

 

 

Last three gals of Limousine Confidential. 

None of them is anywhere near a household name unless one of them is your sister, but they are completely carbon-based life forms; each of them sports an attractive face and a body with many positive features when unclothed.  No higher praise need be written.

Ginger Jolie

Melinda Czibuta

Lolana


 

 
 

 

 


In the final episode of Rome, Kalends of February, we are unlucky. There is no nudity at all. Plotwise we all know that there was no happy ending possible for Caesar. For the other characters there is a mix of both. Some find happiness, others tragedy, while Atia's and Mark Anthony's future looks uncertain and leaves room for a sequel.

.....

On to business ...

In the Dutch thriller De Flat (1994) Renée Soutendijk can be seen in various states of undress in seven clips while making love or moaning so loudly in the bath tub that someone becomes worried...That's all I have to say about this movie.

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 )

 

 

Kristanna Loken, the chick from T-3 and BloodRayne, in Die Nibelungen