"Anatomie de L'enfer"
Anatomie de L'enfer (2004) is the newest Catherine Breillat (Romance, Fat Girl) film, which is translated Anatomy of Hell. As the film opens, Amira Casar is the only woman in a gay club. She goes into the restroom, and slits her wrist with a razor blade. A man walks in, asks her why she did it, and se answers, "Because I am a woman." He takes her to a druggist, who bandages the cut, then she gives him a blow job, after which she hires him to come "watch her where she is unwatchable."
Ok, the wrist cutting was very realistic, and it did make my cringe. The dialogue to this point was that special kind of obtuse only found in French art films. Not only that, but a very involved dolly shot caught my attention, detracting from the film. I was gearing myself up to hate it before it really got started. Then I thought, the wrist cutting scene did evoke a response in me, and was thus clearly effective. I will keep an open mind here. Maybe this will go somewhere after all.
Complete Spoilers Ahead
The first night he shows up, she strips lounges having obtuse conversation with him, when he isn't out getting a drink. It ends with him painting lipstick around her privates and on her lips, then having sex with her. He must not have been able to maintain an erection, because he becomes upset, and she comforts him. The highlight of night two is his insertion of a hoe handle into her pussie, which he leaves there and falls asleep in a chair. Night three is where I stopped keeping an open mind. She removes a drenched Tampax, dips it several times in a glass of water, and then the two drink it. On night four, they have rather brutal sex, and he leaves.
Afterwards, he is complaining about her to a gay friend, but admits that they had shared "total intimacy." He goes back to find her, and she is gone. Then, either he throws her off of a cliff into the sea, or he fantasizes about doing so.
The ridiculous dialogue did reveal the theme of the film, which is something like, "All men really hate women, mostly because they have periods, and secretly want to kill them."
IMDb readers have this at 4.7 of 10. Ebert gave a rare one star, and was clearly about as impressed with this film as I was. Casar was completely naked for most of the film, and it good light. There were genital close-ups, but as they were a double, I didn't bother with them, Porn star Rocco Siffredi, as the man, show Mr. Happy at full alert more than once. If this is the result of a real director making a porn film, it is not nearly as good an idea as I previously thought. I can't imagine how anyone would like this film. The photography and lighting were good to excellent, and the leads maintained the tone throughout, which indicates technical competence, hence the proper score is D-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Again today I did not watch a naughty
movie filled with naked chicks. I just have no interest in naked
women since I watched that Sponge Bob video.
I hope there is an antidote to Sponge
What else is there to say about this film? It may be destined to be
the biggest money loser in history. It's the Heaven's Gate of
our time. I still haven't seen it. I just can't bear to watch the
screener DVD. I can't even bear the sadness I feel for the people
deluded enough to MAKE a screener DVD "for awards consideration."
Which awards? Razzies? I'll watch the sumbitch when the real
DVD comes out. Maybe there will be more Rosario Dawson nude footage.
Whatever else one may say about the flick, we can all agree that
Rosario looks terrific!
Rosario Dawson (1,
"Mini-Me is a little bitch!... I don't care how
short he is."
MICHAEL WOLF | PHOTOGRAPHY | HONGKONG - the
architecture of density. Odd stuff, but also
- The online game you've been waiting for -
Bowling for Tampons
- JoBlo's report from Sundance
Part #4, and the inevitable
AOL pulls the plug on Usenet!
"The Usenet dates back to around 1980. Now that blogs and instant
messaging have supplanted older Internet technologies such as
newsgroups and IRC, it's unlikely that AOL users will create much
of an uproar over the decision. But the event nonetheless
represents a milestone in Internet history."
The Daily Show's Ed Helms investigates a new
insurance plan for crazy extreme dudes, beeyatches!
The Daily Show looks at Iraq and The President's
phone call to the anti-abortion march outside the White House.
It's official. Debbie Gibson has gone the way of so
many, and shed her clothes for Playboy. The March issue hits
newsstands Feb. 11.
The next big talk show host - Tyra Banks.
The show is not scheduled to start until fall, which will give
Tyra time to learn some of the essential skills of talk show
hosting, like talking for example, and maybe the alphabet if she
"He's my father, married to my sister. That makes
me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral
- "Brothers and sisters, I have none ... but this man's father
is my father's son!"
- It always gives me a great sense of relief to know that we
live in a simple world where moral transgressions are easily
spied, because I often fail to recognize them.
Draft 2000: The Quarterbacks.
There were five guys rated higher than Tom Brady. Where is that
Hofstra legend, Giovanni Carmazzi, now that we need him? Well, the
COWBOYS need him. Here are
Giovanni Carmazzi's lifetime stats in the NFL.
- Will Ferrell makes my dream come true in the Tsunami Relief
I gotta have more cowbell!
- Forget cowbell - I gotta have more bagpipes!!
Act now on the Burns Night Special: Digital
- I swear I didn't make up one word of this quote: "The
best-looking MIDI pipes ever are these on the right, made by
Version Midi. They sell for around $5,000, and are played by
Spanish bagpipe hearthrob José Ángel Hevia."
- Scholars generally argue that given the age and continuity
of the English language, it is difficult to construct a
completely original phrase, but I have to believe that the words
"Spanish bagpipe heartthrob" have never been together before.
The trailer and a clip from this week's obscure
release, Alone in the Dark
Closer holds on to the top spot in Brit Box Office
Judge Reverses Vegas Lap Dance Law - contact is
back! In a related story, Ben Affleck will now
resume his Vegas poker career.
- Great video -
101 celebrities tell their favorite swear words to
Britain's Channel 4. I don't think Channel 4
will be getting a US franchise from the FCC any time soon.
An early version of the PSP's U.S. instruction
manual has leaked onto the web.
Maria Sharapova of Russia, tennis wiz, shows us her
Britney's new music video. She
looks really trim!
Texas cops undress to catch prostitution.
Check out this great double-entendre quote from the D.A. in
Houston: Prostitution "was just so widespread. It had almost
gotten in your face."
The ten biggest Super Bowl goats of all time.
Where is Ray Finkel? "Laces out, Dan."
Director John Madden (SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE) has been
selected to turn Elmore Leonard's crime noir novel KILLSHOT into a
Miramax movie. At one point Quentin Tarantino
wanted to be the man in the director's chair but things failed to
materialize. Tarantino or Madden? I can see that. They have a lot
in common. Why not do both? I'm pretty sure they could both make
the same movie and nobody would realize they were using the same
The Daily Show's Bob Wiltfong takes a look at the
freedom-loving people of D.C. who voted 9-1 against Bush.
The Daily Show's: Timeline of Dead Guys.
Was Abraham Lincoln gay as a caballero? Was Shakespeare insane
from the clap? ("My mistress doth make my member painfully drip."
Must be a forgotten sonnet.) Was King Tut murdered?
The Weekend Warrior's box office predictions.
There are only two new films this week, both unreviewed, one of
them virtually unmarketed. Two meritorious Oscar nominees are
being expanded from mini to general distribution. The Warrior
expects Hide and Seek to ride its ubiquitous marketing campaign to
the #1 spot, and he calls Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby #2.
- This week's expanded releases:
Sideways: 96% positive reviews.
- This week's expanded releases:
Million Dollar Baby - 94% positive reviews.
Since the new releases are two untested horror flicks, this is
probably a great week to catch Sideways or Million Dollar Baby,
two Oscar nominees going into wider distribution.
- This week's movies:
Alone in the Dark - no reviews.
It's the official week for horror movies with no advance
screenings. Unlike Hide and Seek, this one is coming out with
little fanfare, and I can't imagine why it's getting a theatrical
release rather than going straight to video. I haven't seen it,
but expect the worse. Ewe Boll's last directorial effort (House of
the Dead) is rated 28th worst of all time at IMDb.
OSCAR.com - 77th Annual Academy Awards - Nominees:
Nominee List. Surprises:
- Paul Giamatti was not nominated as Best Actor for Sideways
- Michael Mann was not nominated as Best Director for
Collateral (surprise replacement: veteran Mike Leigh for Vera
- Red State/Blue State update: Passion of the Christ was
nominated for Best Cinematography and one minor award.
Fahrenheit 9/11 was shut out
- This week's movies:
Hide and Seek - no reviews. No
reviews? Nobody has seen it? They are hiding it? That can't be
good, can it? I'm surprised, because the trailer is not bad. The
one "rated" review at RT is for the 1999 movie with the same
Seven clips from Because of Winn-Dixie.
- "Based on the perennial best seller, a lonely young girl
adopts an orphaned dog, Winn-Dixie (so named for the supermarket
where she found him), who helps her makes friends in the small
Florida town. The bond between the girl and her special
companion brings together the townspeople, and helps heal her
own troubled relationship with her father."
- Please enjoy sex with a woman before watching this, because it
will be your last such sex.
This is the Spongebob video that will make you gay.
Believe me, I know. I watched it, then spent the entire day
shaving my chest and trying to score tickets for the Cher Farewell
The trailer for Crispin Glover's new film, What is
It? Makes Eraserhead look like an episode of the
Cosby Show. It does include some female nudity.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Scoop's note: like a
ninny, I deleted the ICMS commentary for today, and didn't notice
until the 11th hour, so these are actually my notes, not his.
1. This is the first movie about which I can remember
discussion of the leads actually doin' the nasty on
camera. In this case, there wasn't all that much
controversy, since the particular nasty being done on
camera was cunnlingus, which is pretty darned hard to
fake. I mean, there's the lips, and there's the other
lips, what could be fake about it?
2. Although I'm
impressed with the cinematography, I hate this freakin'
movie. Two words: evil dwarf!
sorta liked it, so we split. Tuna also weighed in
on his detailed observations regarding exactly which
nasties were bein' done, and he makes a case to add
fuckin' to the suckin'.
2. Julie Christie might have become one of the
greatest screen stars of all time, an icon on a par
with Liz Taylor, Bogart, Gable and Marilyn. She had
talent. She had incredible looks. In fact, she
completely looked the part of a glamorous movie star,
but at heart she was a hippie. She didn't care
about the money, or the fame, or the prestige, or the
glamour. He family was both rich and smart. Her dad
managed a plantation in India or something exotic like
that, and her brother was a an intellectual, a
To make a long story short, she got bored with it
all and pretty much just walked away from stardom
after Heaven Can Wait. Even before then she
turned down more good roles than she accepted. She
refused the leads in "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"
(1969), "Anne of a Thousand Days" (1969), and
"Nicholas and Alexandra" (1971) - all of which earned
Oscar nods for the actresses who took her leavings.
In the two decades from 1976 to 1995, she had only
15 total credits at IMDB, many of them insignificant.
I don't remember the details of what she was doing,
but she was into the gentle side of left wing politics
(save the whales, no nukes, that kind of stuff).
I'm happy to see her taking major roles again. She
came back as Gertrude in Branagh's Hamlet, and
recently had major roles in Troy and Finding Neverland.
At 63 years old, I guess she's sort of a GILF.
I disliked this movie when it came out, but really
liked it when I watched the DVD a couple of years
back. The book was a major cult item on college
campuses back then, and the same people who worshipped
the book also worshipped movies like Easy Rider and
M*A*S*H - anarchic and self-consciously sincere movies
that seemed to have been made by guys wearing sandals
and smoking dope. Which, in fact, they were.
People hoped that Catch-22 would be that kind of
movie, but it was more of a big slick Hollywood movie
that looked like it was made by guys wearing ties and
wing-tip shoes. Which, in fact, it was.
I bought into that whole line of thinking in 1970
but today, liberated from the pre-requirement for a
politically correct approach, I think Catch-22 is a
pretty decent movie - a nearly successful attempt to
film an impossible book - an impenetrably labyrinthine
work which derived much of its impact and much of its
considerable humor from stylistic devices which did
not easily convert to cinema.
are my detailed thoughts, and Tuna's as well
I remember that ICMS mentioned in his letter that
Paula Prentiss must have been one of the first
Hollywood actresses to do frontal nudity in a
mainstream project. Yeah, I guess that's pretty much
true, and I do remember that Playboy made a pretty big
deal out of it back in the day. I always liked Paula.
She was kooky and effervescent, kind of like the
Mountain Dew of her time. She was a goofy comedienne
with a naturally funny way to deliver lines in her odd
voice, and she was also sexy as all get-out, giving
her a rare combination of talents.
When they talk about the funniest sitcoms of all
time, the TV pundits often forget one of the very
He and She, which starred Paula and her husband
(Richard Benjamin) as the straight men for those two
complete crazies, Kenneth Mars and Jack Cassidy. If
they ever issue that show on DVD, I'll be the first in
Paula was not a talent on the Julie Christie level
and was never destined to be the brightest star in the
firmament, but much like Julie, Paula she got tired of
her career, and retired several times, finally packing
it all in for good in 1983.
|Rosario Dawson Frontal nudity!
LC scores big with this collage featuring some of the best 'caps I've seen so far of her toplessness and frontalness in scenes from "Alexander"!
Here are the results and comments for last week's poll...
Best Nude Debut, the 80's
This week's topic, Best Nude Debut, the 90's! Cast your vote for the actress who made the best nude debut in a film between 1990-1999.
Now before everyone sends me email about Jennifer Connelly, let me clarify the requirements. The actress had to be nekkid, and in her film debut.
For this round, I've eliminated almost all padding. Of the nominees on this list, only 3 had done anything on film prior to the movie debuts you are voting for, the rest were 100% film virgins.
The 3 with padding are Jolie and Theron (who had small, uncredited parts in one movie each) and Elle Macpherson (who had done a bit part as "model" in a Woody Allen movie).
Almost all of these ladies are very big stars now, so I humbly ask voters to try to focus on the nudity rather than their current fame.
Email Scoopy Jr. with your nominees, comments or suggestions.
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Bordello of Blood" (1996)
Another look at the Funhouse favorite with a couple more IDs.
"Get Carter" (2000)
Remake and Sly Stallone vehicle. The only sex scene was
a group sex scene in a low quality computer video. Crystal Lowe is the one
with the long brown hair and Lauren lee Smith is the redhead.
- video: Crystal Lowe and Lauren Lee Smith.
Cold Squad: season four
The tail end of the season.
Relic Hunter: Smoking Gun
Mutant X: Far from Above
11th Hour: episode Kettle Black
Last week's episode.
First Wave: episode Asylum
Cleaning up my hard drive...
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Anatomy of Hell"
French director Catherine Breillat, who brought us the very good if controversial and unpleasant films Romance and Fat Girl, has done it again with this 2004 drama. Once again, a social statement is accompanied by explicit graphic sex and some jarring images.
This film is about woman's sexual powers over men, and man's fear of them. After he interrupts her rather feeble attempt at suicide, a woman pays a gay man to watch her most intimate activities for four days. Initially, he is truly disgusted by what he must watch, but eventually a relationship develops.
This is a very "talky" film, loaded with nudity and sex, which explores some very intangible subjects. The movie is at times almost surreal, and the woman's motivations are not really obvious.
Some will get this film. Others won't. Not particularly uplifting, but interesting and different nevertheless.
A few HDTV 'caps featuring some of last week's Prime Time Skin highlights.
From the January 17th episode of the NBC series "Las Vegas". The sexy gimic for the week was to change waitress uniforms from boring old cleavage to bodypaint tuxedos.
Next up from the new FOX series "Point Pleasant" aka the 'darker, supernatural, Amity Island version of The O.C.". I caught this episode last week and was not impressed at all. Typical FOX fodder with plenty of eye candy, but no brain activity.
However, since nobody watches this kind of stuff for the plot lines, I guess they get points for showing almost every female cast member in a bikini in just one episode.
- Aubrey Dollar
- Cameron Richardson
- Elisabeth Harnois
- Dina Meyer
|A very cool find by an imager named Duncan. Here is the cute blonde actress topless in a scene from "Friday Night Lights" (2004). This scene is apparently NOT on the recently released DVD. These images are actually from an advanced copy that Duncan came across about 3 months ago.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Canadian beauty topless in several scenes (including lots o' lesbian lovin') from the made for Showtime series "The L Word".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
SHERIDAN WAS TO DROP TOWEL FOR MADDEN
I Need A Towel - ABC revealed that their controversial "Monday Night
Football" promo starring Nicolette Sheridan of "Desperate Housewives" and NFL star
Terrell Owens could have been worse. They originally thought it would be funny
if Sheridan dropped her towel for rotund sportscaster John Madden.
Then they decided no housewife could be THAT desperate.
It could've been MUCH worse: they originally wanted John Madden to drop
RAZZIE AWARD NOMINATIONS ANNOUNCED
Sifting The Cinema - Oscar nominations are announced today, which means
Razzie Award nominations for the Worst Movies came out Monday. The field leader
with seven was "Catwoman," described as "the cinematic equivalent of a clump in
the cat litter box." Second was "Alexander" with six, followed by
"Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2," "White Chicks," and "Surviving Christmas." And President
Bush got a Worst Actor nod for the raw archive footage of him looking like a
fool in "Fahrenheit 9/11."
That shouldn't count! He wasn't acting!
If Bush wins Worst Actor, he will have upset Ben Affleck twice in one year.
Here is the full list of Razzie nominations
TRUMP WEDDING NEWS: DRUNKEN BILLY JOEL, ODDS ON DIVORCE
That's Why Billy Is A Drunk - Donald Trump's lavish wedding reception wasn't
open to the public, but the New York Post reports that it included a tipsy
Billy Joel continually losing his place while trying to read the lyrics to a
special song he'd written called "That's Why The Donald Is A Trump."
Now, I bet you're GLAD you weren't invited.
Well, you get the entertainment you pay for...
He finally gave up and just sang "That's Why The Lady Is A Tramp" to
He insisted on either doing a song or driving the bridal limo, so they had
You Bet Your Wife - The off-shore gaming website BetWWTS.com is already
laying odds on Trump's new marriage to Melania Knauss. It's 4-to-1 that they'll
split up before the end of the year, and 1-to-6 that they'll stay married.
Donald would take a piece of that, but he's already got $100 million
riding on Melania staying.
This marriage is already doomed: Melania decided not to take his last name.
It's also even money that whatever's on his head will wake up from
hibernation and attack him.