Paris Hilton

Everyone's favorite celebutante is up to her old naked tricks in these seven zipped .mov videos. (92 meg worth of goodies.)  Each of the collages below matches up with one of the videos. (There are two collages for video #7, for reasons which will be evident when you get to that last one.)


And then there are these higher quality images of Paris boating off to somewhere with her breasts exposed.


Third Party Videos

Marie-Josee Croze. She's the major babe who played a Dutch assassin-for-hire in Spielberg's Munich. Here she is in zipped .avi clips three other films:


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.


Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.





Backstreet Justice


Backstreet Justice (1994) features Linda Kozlowski as a low-rent private investigator who lives in a Pittsburgh slum, and has been hired to solve a string of murders that she thinks is the work of police. She has an easy time believing that crooked cops exist, as her own father died in a shootout while allegedly trying to assassinate a crime commissioner.

This is one tough little lady. Every time she returns home there is some cop on the roof doing some dastardly deed. She always engages with the cop, and ends up beaten but ok. As an example, she surprises a cop in her apartment. His partner knocks her out. They carry her downstairs, toss her in their trunk, and both bend over to close the lid. She kicks the lid, nailing both in the chin. Then she outruns and out-jumps both men, and escapes.  One by one, we meet characters she trusts and the characters she battles with. Don't take any of that too seriously, as most of them flip-flop in the last ten minutes.

The underlying theme is one of corruption for personal profit, which I relate to, and Pittsburgh looks wonderful. On the other hand, there are a few logic errors in this one and the acting is inconsistent, so I found it a very long watch, even though it was only 91 minutes. 

IMDb readers say 3.7. I am not sure I understand what differentiates films between three and five at IMDb. Backstreet Justice is not awful, just a few bricks shy of a load. A little more effort and it might have been an acceptable genre effort, therefore our scale renders it a D+.

Linda Kozlowski


Patricia Skeriotis



Night of the Wilding


Today the Time Machine is back in Bad 1990s Movieland. And I do mean a really bad movie, an Erik Estrada flick called Night of the Wilding.  Just skip it because the only highlights are right here.

In these caps and two clips, Kimberly Spies shows breasts as two bad guys are raping her.



Meanwhile, Julie Austin shows some boobs in the shower, as seen in these caps and two clips.



The Cassandra Crossing


"The Cassandra Crossing ( is a disaster movie from the 70s, when those were in vogue.  This time, danger threatens a train and the usual cast of passenger clichés (celebrated doctor, his divorced wife, hippies, little children etc.)

Not a very suspenseful film. Greek-Cypriot George Cosmatos provided direction which is nothing spectacular except for some aerial shots, and the plot is full of holes and logical errors. On the plus side, I liked Jerry Goldsmith's Morricone-like score and the interesting cast: Sophia Loren, Ava Gardner (a weapon dealer's wife), Ingrid Thulin, Richard Harris, Burt Lancaster (the evil military man), Martin Sheen (Ava's toy-boy, a drug-addicted mountain climber!), Lee Strasberg and O.J.Simpson (an undercover cop dressed as a priest).


Sophia Loren shows a little flesh ...



...  but in my mind Ava Gardner's turn was sexier.




Fort Saganne


Fort Saganne ( is a French film vaguely reminiscent of "Lawrence of Arabia."  It's the story of a military officer named Saganne, his fights in the Sahara Desert, and his love affairs. Like every other French movie of the past 35-40 years, it stars Gerard Depardieu.

Saganne is an honest soldier and although he fights against the Arabs, they respect him for his integrity and bravery. Saganne at first seems to question French colonialism but quickly overcomes this obstacle in his existential search of self-discovery. Perhaps this excuse seemed cool in 1984, but not today, so it may be hard for some viewers to sympathize with him and his plague later on. When his missions in Africa are finally over he returns home and starts a family, but WW1 breaks and he is killed in battle. His wife has given birth to his son however, so maybe he will follow in his father's steps.

Reportedly the most expensive French production up to its date (1984), the film is an old fashioned war-adventure-drama and maybe a bit too long at 175 minutes, but made and acted well.


Catherine Deneuve is seductive and teasing ...




... and young Sophie Marceau shows nipples and the sides of her breasts.






Parole de Flic


Parole de flic ( is a yet another Alain Delon "policier" from France. A flawed but still entertaining "genre" film.

In this one Delon (the star as well as and producer of the film) is a former police officer who takes The Charles Bronson path and turns vigilante against a marauding squad of renegade cops. They they murdered his daughter in one of their killing sprees, although their original goal was to rid the streets of junkies, male prostitutes, juvenile delinquents and the like. Along the way the hero meets love interest (Fiona Gelin) and faces his old buddy, the police captain, who is ultimately revealed to be the mastermind behind the evil group (something anyone will have guessed from the start).

The idea of a vigilante vs vigilantes makes little sense, as does the survival of a one-man killing machine, who is being chased by both the honest police and the undercover vigilantes, yet wins in the end. It is all very naive, but if one ignores this fact, one will enjoy the various violent set-pieces and stand-offs. Delon is in top form. He gets dressed as a clown in a circus towards the film's climax and even sings the ending theme song in English!



There's full nudity from Fiona Gelin ...



 and topless from Veronique Saudi, who plays a stripper.








Claudia Michelsen in Das Schafft die nie
Claudine Wilde in Zwei Asse un ein Koenig
Corinna Harfouch in Thea und Nat
Eva Meyer in an episode of "Alles ausser Sex"
Hildegard Alex in an episode of "Polizeiruf 110"
Idil Uener in Verschleppt - Kein Weg zueruck
Jenny Marie Muck in an episode of "Die Schule am See"
Julia Brendler in an episode of "Der letzte Zeuge"
Maja Maranow in Ex und hopp
Maria Kwiatkowsky in Liebe Amelie
Svenja Pages in Ein unmoeglicher Mann
Sybille Waury  in an episode of "Lindenstrasse 37"
Smokin'-hot Veronica Ferres in Rossini







The Hunger




A journalist (Stephen McHattie) investigates three suicides of very successful people on top of their game. The incidents appear to be unrelated, but he finds that all of them stem an obsession with the same mysterious woman named Helene (Jayne Heitmeyer). He sees a great story on these and looks for Helene. This episode was weak, McHattie does well but the story doesn't have anything special, the ending doesn't explain anything and doesn't make sense either.


Jayne Heitmeyer







Notes and collages

Diora Baird

Diora Baird


Wedding Crashers

Diora Baird


Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning





Squiddy came up with some great public see-throughs. First, modeling legend Elle MacPherson



Second, sexy chanteuse Beyonce Knowles.


Third, reality TV chick Davorka Tovilo. I guess you could say that she's like to be the European Paris Hilton. She just seems to show up at every party and premiere. I read that she would have a role in Brand Hauser: Stuff Happens, the new film with both Cusacks, but I don't see her name listed in the cast at IMDb.


Here are some more of those topless paparazzi shots of the adorable Kelly Brook (and the not-as-adorable Billy Zane.) Wait!!! Billy Zane is on a boat and it's still afloat. Somebody call Ripley.


Jessica Simpson falls out of her dress. ALMOST.






Pat's comments in yellow...

Kelly Osbourne said recently that she would like to pose fully nude for Playboy, "but I'd have to have some airbrushing on my (boobs)." But don't hold your breath. When asked about it, Hugh Hefner replied, "I can't see it happening somehow. We don't airbrush to that extent."

* Except when they run pictures of Hef.


Radar Online obtained a 60-page proposal for a book by Scott Baio about his legendary sexual exploits with an array of famous women. But some stories aren't very arousing. He recalls losing his virginity to "Happy Days" co-star Erin "Joanie Cunningham" Moran and thinking that sex was really uncomfortable until he realized "my thing was between the cushions on the couch and I didn't even know it...I was humping a corduroy sofa!"

* That segues into a story about dating Kirstie Alley.


Baio also recalls Liza Minnelli asking him for a sperm sample so she could fertilize her egg and have a surrogate mother carry their baby. She said, "I really want your sperm. You're a talented, good-looking Italian guy. That's what I want my child to be."

* Liza had a husband at the time, but he also wanted a good-looking Italian guy.


The National Restaurant Association is calling for the cancellation of Kevin Federline's Nationwide Insurance commercial that is set to debut during the Super Bowl. It shows him reduced from big-spending rapper to fast-food burger flipper. Nationwide said they just wanted to depict a humorous and surprising change in K-Fed's life. But the group calls it an insult to the 12.8 million Americans who work in restaurants and says the ad implies their jobs are demeaning.

* True. It implies that even Kevin Federline has enough talent to do their jobs! How insulting can you GET?! reports that money has overcome years of seething animosity, and David Lee Roth and Van Halen are very close to signing for a 40-city reunion tour. But there is one complication: Eddie Van Halen's 15-year-old son Wolfgang would play bass because Michael Anthony is already signed to tour with Roth's replacement, Sammy Hagar, playing Van Halen tunes under the name, "The Other Half."

* Meanwhile, Gary Cherone will be playing Van Halen songs on the jukebox while he sweeps out a TGI Friday's in Larchmont.


A University of Calgary professor has published a massive analysis of studies of procrastination, but he still couldn't pinpoint the specific reason why people procrastinate

* He'll might put that in his next report. Or not.