Dirty Deeds (2005)

Dirty Deeds is a raunchy teen comedy which came to a few theaters in a bowdlerized PG-13 version. I'm not sure of the point of a raunchy PG-13 movie, but I'm not surprised there was no audience for it. The unrated DVD version has been ramped up to the equivalent of a lively R with breasts from three different girls, all of whom are exposed some length, standing up, and in good light. In addition, there is a special feature on the DVD which basically consists of nothing but breasts - it consists of the outtakes and alternate takes of the nude scenes.

So it's got that goin' for it.

The film itself is about a high school tradition which involves a sort of extreme scavenger hunt held annually on the eve of homecoming. Each year, one student is allowed to attempt "the dirty deeds," a set of ten extreme challenges which, if completed, mean ... absolutely nothing, as far I can see, except bragging rights. Nobody has completed them in the last 15 years or so, but one freshman wants to give it a try to get the bullies off his ass. The freshman's older sister asks her would-be boyfriend (Milo Ventimiglia) to talk her brother out of this foolishness, but the only way Milo can prevent the younger boy from attempting the deeds is to attempt them himself, because upperclassmen take priority over freshmen in the official deed rules.

It's completely predictable from there. Some of the bullies and authority figures try to stymie Milo, but he gets by with the help of the rebels, nerds, and druggies. The deeds themselves range from simple pranks and dares all the way to outrageous criminal behavior:  "steal a car worth more than $100,000," "place a dead body on the high school grounds," etc.

It's one of those movies with a good basic idea which made have been a good little comedy with better jokes, cleverer dialogue, and fewer stock characters and situations. There is an extended "little old lady farting" gag, for example, that is so juvenile it should obviously have been cut, but there it is in all of its embarrassing splendor. There is nothing new here, and it's not a theatrical-quality movie even with the additional nudity, but it does have a sort of minimal level of retro 80s appeal. In fact, if you don't recognize any of the actors, you could very easily believe it was made in the 1982-84 period. With the additional nudity, I'd say it is a C-, a minimally acceptable genre film, with the genre being "raunchy teen comedies."

There's plenty of nudity. Unfortunately, I have no idea who these girls are. The last four are from the bonus features, which are in full screen mode.


Big Women (1998)

British TV mini-series focused on the establishment of a feminist publishing house from the 1970's to the 1990's. We have not seen very good caps of this series, and it included full frontal and rear nudity from some semi-famous British actresses, particularly Clare Holman and Daniela Nardini. The other two women are Anastasia Hille and Anabelle Apsion



Various notes on new releases:

The Aristocrats (2005) is scatological and hilarious. If you have never heard of it, the entire film consists of several dozen comics telling the same joke, each trying to outdo the other. The other comics seemed to like Gilbert Gottfried's version the best, but I liked Bob Saget better, and my #1 choice would be Jason Alexander (George Costanza), who did some absolutely brilliant improv. There is no nudity except ... wait for it ... Carrot Top's ass.

My Big Fat Independent Movie (2005) is to independent movies as Scary Movie is to horror movies. It doesn't have any really big laughs, but it does have some good lines. "Why are we kidnapping her again?" "To form an unlikely bond, of course." "OK, you guys, I need to get some sleep tonight, so no voice-over after 11." No nudity.

National Lampoon Presents Barely legal (2003). I couldn't handle two raunchy teen comedies in one night, but Tuna was all over this. See below.

Other Crap:

Actor Chris Penn (Nice Guy Eddie Cabot) has died in a Santa Monica residence, with no signs of foul play. He was only 43.

"MAKE YOUR OWN VOODOO DOLL... & Watch Your Troubles Disappear"

Mr Skin's nudity report from Sundance:

Art School Confidential: *** Sophia Myles is the nude model for Max Minghella's art class. She comes out in a robe then drops it, giving us a nice shot of her butt. Then for several minutes we are treated to a montage of her sitting on the stool being drawn. Her breasts and lovely legs are on abundant display.

Battle in Heaven: *** Anapola Mushkadiz is giving Marcos Hernandez a full-on blowjob. *** Mushkadiz gives us a brief hint of ass poking out from her outfit as she walks back upstairs. *** Mushkadiz rides Hernandez. We can see her breasts before he covers them with his hands. Then we see a good shot of her whole body riding him. (Watch for her briefly acknowledging the camera. *** We see Mushkadiz resting on top of Hernandez, still straddling him in the same position. Then there’s a more up-close-and-personal view of her butt. She then slides off so we see her lying down on her back full frontal. *** An extreme close-up of Mushkadiz’s bush after she has sex Hernandez. Then there’s a shot of their feet and we can still see her bush and his penis. The camera then pans back up and hovers over their naked bodies before she finally gets out of bed. *** The film ends with Mushkadiz again giving the blowjob and looking up at the camera. Her breasts are also visible. *** Hernandez also has sex with Bertha Ruiz from behind. We see her ass and breasts in the mirror (although it's hard to tell what’s breast and what’s fat--this is a big woman). *** Ruiz gives us a better idea when she rolls out of bed and gives us a full-frontal look at her body. *** An unidentified Asian woman stands full frontal in front of Hernandez. She leaves the room after he refuses her.

Lucky Number Slevin: *** Josh Hartnett walks in on Jennifer Miller getting banged from behind. Her breasts are exposed and shaking. She is completely nude and we get a side profile of her breasts and legs when she stops having sex to tell Hartnett it was "an accident."

Open Window: *** Robin Tunney begins making love with Joel Edgerton. He takes off her top while she's on top and we get to see several side views of her breasts. *** After she is raped and found in the closet tied up, Edgerton carries Tunney in his arms. She is wearing no pants and we see a hint of butt. *** Robin Tunney takes off her bathrobe to get into the bath and we see her breasts and a great shot of her ass as she gets in the tub.

Sherrybaby: *** Maggie Gyllenhaal is bent over with no pants on getting drilled from behind. We see her legs and rump. Then we have a great extended look at her breasts as she turns around and says to the guy, "My friend shaved it, do you want to kiss it?" *** Trying to get a job, Gyllenhaal unbuttons her shirt, exposing her purple bra, which she then lifts up to show a guy her breasts. "I'll suck your dick if you give me the job I want." *** Danny Trejo enters Gyllenhaal's hotel room and finds her wearing a t-shirt just over the top of her exposed red panties. Trejo takes off the t-shirt, showing her breasts. She then makes her way to the bed in nothing but her red panties and writhes around on it waiting for Trejo. *** Trejo takes off Gyllenhaal's top again, exposing her breasts as she prepares to get into the tub.

Letterman: Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is A Vampire

Osama to follow Stern to satellite radio

Great SNL rock video: "Young Chuck Norris"

The latest quotables from Conan O'Brien

  • Yesterday, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin caused a controversey 'cause he said that when New Orleans is rebuilt it will be a "chocolate city." Nagin went on to say that chocolate New Orleans will be protected by a system of graham cracker levees.
  • A Texas paper is reporting that lobbyist Jack Abramoff charged a client $25,000 to have lunch with President Bush. Not suprisingly, this is the most anyone has ever paid to have lunch at Chuck E. Cheese.

The trailer from Fateless

  • Another cheery film: "a Jewish boy from Hungary struggles to survive during his imprisonment in a Nazi concentration camp."

The trailer and some clips from The Devil and Daniel Johnston, a documentary about "talented and tormented Daniel Johnston, a manic-depressive genius singer/ songwriter/ artist, revealed in this portrait of madness, creativity and love." (2005 Sundance Film Festival, Winner - Best Director)

Six clips from the new rom-com Imagine Me & You

Three clips from Tsotsi

  • Set amidst the sprawling Johannesburg township of Soweto - where survival is the primary objective - "Tsotsi" traces six days in the life of a ruthless young gang leader who ends up caring for a baby accidentally kidnapped during a car-jacking.

The international teaser for Flight 93

  • Acclaimed filmmaker Paul Greengrass ("Bloody Sunday," "The Bourne Supremacy") writes and directs an unflinching drama that tells the story of the passengers and crew, their families on the ground and the flight controllers who watched in dawning horror as United Airlines Flight 93 became the fourth hijacked plane on the day of the worst terrorist attacks on American soil: September 11, 2001.

"NAKED PHOTOS OF BUSH AND ABRAMOFF ROCK WHITE HOUSE .. but President Still Denies Knowing Lobbyist"

  • “These naked pictures of the president and Jack Abramoff are nothing out of the ordinary,” Mr. McClellan says. “In the course of his daily schedule, the President poses nude with dozens of dignitaries.”
  • Mr. McClellan said that the American people “would have no problem believing” that Mr. Bush posed naked with Mr. Abramoff on five different occasions without actually knowing who he was, because “Our polls show that the American people think that most of the time the President is in the Oval Office he does not know what he is doing”

UPN, WB to Shut Down

  • Programming from both will be used to launch a new network which will offer 30 hours of programming per week, mainly targeted at young and minority viewers.

Today's Sundance Insider

The Weekend Warrior's predictions and analysis for the upcoming weeekend.

  • He thinks Big Momma 2 will top a very weak field on one of the year's worst weekends

This week's movies (expanding to 800 screens): The Matador - 71% positive reviews. (Kinnear and Brosnan in a dark "mismatched buddy comedy")

This week's movies (1900 screens) Nanny McPhee - 90% positive reviews - a highly praised kiddie movie in the darker mode, ala Potter or Lemony Snicket or Wonka

This week's movies (1500 screens): Annapolis - no reviews yet. This is the film that looks like a clone of An Officer and a Gentleman

This week's movies (3000 screens): Big Momma's House 2 - no reviews yet, but you know the RT score will be low

  • I guess the serious Oscar-baiting period is over. The first Big Momma movie was bitch-slapped by the critics, but was a hit, and this one is predicted to open in the #1 spot, albeit on a very weak weekend.

"Fred Barnes, the author of 'Rebel-in-Chief' talks to Jon Stewart about how George Bush has been mischaracterized."

The Daily Show: "The British have been spying on the Russians through the delicate method of bugging a rock."

The Daily Show: "There is no connection between Bush and Jack Abramoff besides your standard old-timey cowboy photo."

Stephen Colbert presents this week's threatdown

Colbert claims that we have won the war on terror

The Daily Show: "The Democrats responded to Abramoff en masse -- it's almost like they have no role in governing."

Useless, but cool! NASA - 3D map of the orbits of 5000 earth satellites

Which long-time franchises have never been to the Super Bowl, and what are their chances?

  • Excluding recent expansion teams, the roster includes the Lions, the Saints, and the Cardinals. The Saints and Cardinals have won only one post-season game apiece since I was born. (1949)

Super Mario hangs it up for good this time

  • "Penguins star and owner Mario Lemieux, one of hockey's greatest players, retired Tuesday for the second time. The 40-year-old Lemieux learned in early December he has atrial fibrillation, an irregular heartbeat that can cause his pulse to flutter wildly and must be controlled by medication."

Pacers to deal Artest to Kings for Stojakovic! The Pacers originally wanted the Clippers' Corey Maggette, but weren't pleased with Maggette's dicey ankle.

Great video! European ad to try to get you to get an eye exam! (I wish America ran grown-up commercials.)

Now you can learn to be a proctologist through home study - with the Digital Rectal Examination simulator

Wow! The tories sweep the elections in Alberta. Some wild changes happening in the Great White North, eh?



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




Kla$h (1995)

Black Rainbow (1989) is a UK horror/thriller starring Rosanna Arquette, Jason Robards and Tom Hulce.

A young woman (Arquette) and her father (Robards) travel from town to town, where she earns their living doing a psychic medium show in local churches.  Like her mother, she turns out to be actually psychic and is being driven crazy by what she sees. Problems start when she accurately predicts a murder. It was a professional hit ordered by a town official who has the police chief in his pocket. Since Arquette "saw" the killer, the hit man is now after her.

Hulce plays a reporter whose skepticism is dispelled when, in the next town, the psychic accurately predicts a disaster in the local power plant. The reporter eventually becomes the love interest as well.  Rosanna says, "I would rather have a man lie with me than to me," and then shows her breasts and possibly a hint of pubes.

It is an interesting premise to show a spiritualist making money in "show business," and then turning out to have real psychic ability. Also, her telling people in her audience that their loved ones are dead when they aren't is riveting. Director Mike Hodges was honored at film festivals, and Arquette gave a very strong performance and garnered several best actress awards one the festival circuit. Hulce and Robards provided solid support. Unfortunately, the film never made it past the festivals to get a wide theatrical release.

It has an unsatisfying, ambiguous ending, but despite that it has developed a devoted cult following, as evidenced by some enthusiastic comments at IMDb

The overall IMDb score is 5.9.

Bottom line: C. The positive comments at IMDb indicate that it is a solid genre picture.


Rosanna Arquette


National Lampoon Presents Barely Legal (2003)

This film premiered at Cannes in 2003. Two years later, it went straight to vid in Germany, had a very brief US theatrical release, and is now available on DVD. IMDb calls it "After School Special," a title that makes sense, but doesn't seem to agree with any release titles anywhere, and calls it German. As near as I can tell, it is US, in that Motion Picture Corporation of America seems to be the primary production company. Funding came from everywhere, including Germany and Canada, but distribution is controlled by Barely Legal LLC, a US entity.

This is yet another High School gross-out comedy. It has completely escaped the notice of critics, and IMDb comments are split between worst film every made, and funnier than American Pie. I have been highly critical of many recent National Lampoon offerings. This one, I found acceptable.

Three nearly-cool High School nerds, still virgins, make a good living duping and selling porn to freshmen. Deacon Lewis (Erik von Detten), shit his pants in 5th grade, and nobody will ever let him forget it. Fred (Tony Denman) is painfully shy around girls, and masturbates six or seven times a day. Matt (Daniel Farber), the nerdiest of the three, is a wannabe film maker. The porn profits are set aside for their dream of getting a car and becoming babe magnets. .When Deacon doesn't get the car he expected for his 17th birthday, and Fred loses his job at the video store, thus killing their source of porn to dub, they decide to make their own porn film and distribute it on the Internet. They will slant it towards people like themselves, namely virgin nerds.

The problem of setting up a dummy company under an adult's name is easily solved. The next problem is finding performers. Creating a phony ID on their computer, the three go to a strip club looking for a female lead. My guess is that the Pretty Kitty was an actual strip club, and a very fancy one at that, where they find their leading lady in the person of Ashley (Sarah Jane Potts). Ashley is "19, but tells everyone she is 18" and wants a career in porn. She sees this film as a way to produce a demo reel which she can show to real porn studios.

The local Stifler character (of course we need a Stifler character) forces the nerds to make him the leading man, but he does not prove up to the task. Of course, there are other obstacles as well. One of the nerds stops being a virgin, and his new girlfriend nearly breaks up the film company. The local porn maker, clearly meant to be Ron Jeremy, is after their hides for cutting into his business. Finally, their enterprise is also in constant danger of discovery by their parents.

The whole thing ends rather predictably. In fact, nothing particularly surprising happens in the entire film. However, I found much to like.

  • The DVD includes extended versions of the three major nude scenes, clearly demonstrating that they knew what the major appeal of this offering was.
  • Potts was skilled enough to have a completely different character when acting in the porno and when not on camera.
  • The male characters in the film are all over the top, but they kind of worked anyway.
  • Some of the situations were amusing, and I even got one belly laugh caused by impeccable timing rather than a novel idea.
  • The visual style of the film was better than normal for this genre, and they used every chance to insert little jokes. The following frames demonstrate. As they pull out of the garage in a family mini-van, armed with phony IDs to get into a strip club, we see the honor student bumper sticker.

The nudity is nearly as strange as the film. Brooke Dillman is a running gag as a horny and lonely SexEd teacher. She is always braless with major pokies. Tammy Morris, as a porn actress, shows breasts. Several unknowns also show breasts and buns both in the porn film and the strip club. Sarah Jane Potts shows breasts in several scenes, but always covered by transparent lingerie, nearly transparent tape over her nipples, or her hands. Neither the lingerie nor the tape leave anything to the imagination, and, with the other breast exposure in the film, it was heading for R anyway, so it was likely a no nudity clause in her contract, so please leave her blissfully ignorant as to how much she actually showed.

Bottom line: C.  I am a fan of these raunchy teen comedies, and found this one perfectly acceptable.



Sarah-Jane Potts
Brooke Dillman
Tammy Morris




Today the old Time Machine travels back to 1981 for "Captive Women" and with a title like that you could probably guess we will have a "Babe in Bondage" and you would be right. So here is Ursula Fellner aka Ursula Buchfellner who was the October 1979 Playboy Playmate of the month. The lovely Ursula is seen topless being threatened with a cigarette to the boob and later strung up in chains.




Today January 25 is an anniversary day for me and the Fun House. Indeed it is exactly 7 years ago since my first contribution to this page was published. If someone had told me back then in 1999 that I would still be submitting material to the Fun House in 2006, I probably would have declared that person insane. But this is a case where I am gladly proven wrong. But enough mumbo-jumbo, let's get to the bare facts.
On this somewhat special day you'll be seeing Emmanuelle Seigner, director Roman Polanski's wife, in an excellent triple B performance. You don't think that's enough? Then I'll throw in her sister Mathilde as well, equally nude. Still not satisfied? Then I've got 4 more actresses for you, all stark naked: Noëlla Dussart, now a children's show host, Jeanne Savary, Catherine Mongodin and Nathalie Cardone. Is there room for more? Indeed there is, 4 unknown performers are also as naked as a jaybird. If I counted correctly we have 10 actresses completely in the buff with only 4 of them unidentified.
The occasion for that extravaganza is the 1994 movie Le Sourire (The Smile), starring Jean-Pierre Marielle. I think I've mentioned this excellent and prolific French actor in some earlier contribution as he is some lucky dude. You see, in his films he somehow always ends up in the presence of naked well-known French actresses. We'll be having more encounters with him in upcoming Fun House contributions. It may be interesting to know that he is playing a role in The Da Vinci Code, so he'll soon be recognized by international audiences as well.
What is a mystery to me is the fact that Le Sourire is still not available on DVD anywhere in the world, not even in France, as far as I know. It's an Eldorado for celebrity nudity lovers and a good movie as well. It is currently underrated at 5.8/10 in the IMDb. Jean-Pierre Marielle and Emmanuelle Seigner were excellent in their roles, while the other actors weren't too shabby either. The characters in this somewhat out-of-reality story could be persons of flesh and blood and managed to hold my attention even in this dubbed version from German TV, despite the fact that the movie is too contemplative in some parts.
The story deals with a doctor (Jean-Pierre Marielle), who runs a mental asylum together with his estranged and bossy wife. He is having health problems and decides to take a break. He goes on some kind of Tour de France and on a train he meets Emmanuelle Seigner, who has frequent nose-bleeds. They decide to travel along together and we see how their relationship develops and eventually dies. During their journeys they end up in some traveling strip show joint, run by Richard Bohringer (he is the father of Romane who used to be a Fun House regular). That's the place were most of the nude scenes take place.
Since most nude scenes feature several actresses at the same time I didn't even try to label them separately. The first girl to take her clothes off in the park surrounding the asylum is Nathalie Cardone. You probably won't have trouble recognizing Emmanuelle. There is a naked bunch of four composed by Mathilde Seigner, Noëlla Dussart, Jeanne Savary and Catherine Mongodin. The grand finale is for Emmanuelle and four unknowns. You can always refer to Charlie's page, go to his S archives and right on top you'll see Le Sourire. Click on 1 new and you'll have no trouble knowing who's who.
Please enjoy these 16 clips totaling more than 13 minutes of triple B nudity.

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)



Alexandra Paul in Cyber Bandits, I think this was her last nude scene.