Dirty Deeds (2005)
Dirty Deeds is a raunchy teen comedy which came to a few
theaters in a bowdlerized PG-13 version. I'm not sure of the point
of a raunchy PG-13 movie, but I'm not surprised there was no
audience for it. The unrated DVD version has been ramped up to the
equivalent of a lively R with breasts from three different girls,
all of whom are exposed some length, standing up, and in good
light. In addition, there is a special feature on the DVD which
basically consists of nothing but breasts - it consists of the
outtakes and alternate takes of the nude scenes.
So it's got that goin' for it.
The film itself is about a high school tradition which involves
a sort of extreme scavenger hunt held annually on the eve of
homecoming. Each year, one student is allowed to attempt "the
dirty deeds," a set of ten extreme challenges which, if completed,
mean ... absolutely nothing, as far I can see, except bragging
rights. Nobody has completed them in the last 15 years or so, but
one freshman wants to give it a try to get the bullies off his
ass. The freshman's older sister asks her would-be boyfriend (Milo
Ventimiglia) to talk her brother out of this foolishness, but the
only way Milo can prevent the younger boy from attempting the
deeds is to attempt them himself, because upperclassmen take
priority over freshmen in the official deed rules.
It's completely predictable from there. Some of the bullies and
authority figures try to stymie Milo, but he gets by with the help
of the rebels, nerds, and druggies. The deeds themselves range
from simple pranks and dares all the way to outrageous criminal
behavior: "steal a car worth more than $100,000," "place a
dead body on the high school grounds," etc.
It's one of those movies with a good basic idea which made have
been a good little comedy with better jokes, cleverer dialogue,
and fewer stock characters and situations. There is an extended
"little old lady farting" gag, for example, that is so juvenile it
should obviously have been cut, but there it is in all of its
embarrassing splendor. There is nothing new here, and it's not a
theatrical-quality movie even with the additional nudity, but it
does have a sort of minimal level of retro 80s appeal. In fact, if
you don't recognize any of the actors, you could very easily
believe it was made in the 1982-84 period. With the additional
nudity, I'd say it is a C-, a minimally acceptable genre film,
with the genre being "raunchy teen comedies."
There's plenty of nudity. Unfortunately, I have no idea who
these girls are. The last four are from the bonus features, which
are in full screen mode.
Big Women (1998)
British TV mini-series focused on the
establishment of a feminist publishing house from the 1970's to
the 1990's. We have not seen very good caps of this series, and
it included full frontal and rear nudity from some semi-famous
British actresses, particularly Clare Holman and Daniela Nardini.
The other two women are Anastasia Hille and Anabelle Apsion
Various notes on new releases:
The Aristocrats (2005) is scatological
and hilarious. If you have never heard of it, the entire film
consists of several dozen comics telling the same joke, each
trying to outdo the other. The other comics seemed to like
Gilbert Gottfried's version the best, but I liked Bob Saget
better, and my #1 choice would be Jason Alexander (George
Costanza), who did some absolutely brilliant improv. There is no
nudity except ... wait for it ... Carrot Top's ass.
My Big Fat Independent Movie (2005) is to
independent movies as Scary Movie is to horror movies. It
doesn't have any really big laughs, but it does have some good
lines. "Why are we kidnapping her again?" "To form an unlikely
bond, of course." "OK, you guys, I need to get some sleep
tonight, so no voice-over after 11." No nudity.
National Lampoon Presents Barely legal (2003).
I couldn't handle two raunchy teen comedies in one night, but
Tuna was all over this. See below.
Actor Chris Penn (Nice Guy Eddie Cabot) has died in a
Santa Monica residence, with no signs of foul play.
He was only 43.
"MAKE YOUR OWN VOODOO DOLL... & Watch Your Troubles
Mr Skin's nudity report from Sundance:
Art School Confidential: *** Sophia Myles is
the nude model for Max Minghella's art class. She
comes out in a robe then drops it, giving us a nice
shot of her butt. Then for several minutes we are
treated to a montage of her sitting on the stool being
drawn. Her breasts and lovely legs are on abundant
Battle in Heaven: *** Anapola Mushkadiz is
giving Marcos Hernandez a full-on blowjob. ***
Mushkadiz gives us a brief hint of ass poking out from
her outfit as she walks back upstairs. *** Mushkadiz
rides Hernandez. We can see her breasts before he
covers them with his hands. Then we see a good shot of
her whole body riding him. (Watch for her briefly
acknowledging the camera. *** We see Mushkadiz resting
on top of Hernandez, still straddling him in the same
position. Then there’s a more up-close-and-personal
view of her butt. She then slides off so we see her
lying down on her back full frontal. *** An extreme
close-up of Mushkadiz’s bush after she has sex
Hernandez. Then there’s a shot of their feet and we
can still see her bush and his penis. The camera then
pans back up and hovers over their naked bodies before
she finally gets out of bed. *** The film ends with
Mushkadiz again giving the blowjob and looking up at
the camera. Her breasts are also visible. ***
Hernandez also has sex with Bertha Ruiz from behind.
We see her ass and breasts in the mirror (although
it's hard to tell what’s breast and what’s fat--this
is a big woman). *** Ruiz gives us a better idea when
she rolls out of bed and gives us a full-frontal look
at her body. *** An unidentified Asian woman stands
full frontal in front of Hernandez. She leaves the
room after he refuses her.
Lucky Number Slevin: *** Josh Hartnett walks
in on Jennifer Miller getting banged from behind. Her
breasts are exposed and shaking. She is completely
nude and we get a side profile of her breasts and legs
when she stops having sex to tell Hartnett it was "an
Open Window: *** Robin Tunney begins making
love with Joel Edgerton. He takes off her top while
she's on top and we get to see several side views of
her breasts. *** After she is raped and found in the
closet tied up, Edgerton carries Tunney in his arms.
She is wearing no pants and we see a hint of butt. ***
Robin Tunney takes off her bathrobe to get into the
bath and we see her breasts and a great shot of her
ass as she gets in the tub.
Sherrybaby: *** Maggie Gyllenhaal is bent
over with no pants on getting drilled from behind. We
see her legs and rump. Then we have a great extended
look at her breasts as she turns around and says to
the guy, "My friend shaved it, do you want to kiss
it?" *** Trying to get a job, Gyllenhaal unbuttons her
shirt, exposing her purple bra, which she then lifts
up to show a guy her breasts. "I'll suck your dick if
you give me the job I want." *** Danny Trejo enters
Gyllenhaal's hotel room and finds her wearing a
t-shirt just over the top of her exposed red panties.
Trejo takes off the t-shirt, showing her breasts. She
then makes her way to the bed in nothing but her red
panties and writhes around on it waiting for Trejo.
*** Trejo takes off Gyllenhaal's top again, exposing
her breasts as she prepares to get into the tub.
Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is A Vampire
Osama to follow Stern to satellite radio
Great SNL rock video:
"Young Chuck Norris"
The latest quotables from Conan O'Brien
- Yesterday, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin caused a
controversey 'cause he said that when New Orleans is
rebuilt it will be a "chocolate city." Nagin went on
to say that chocolate New Orleans will be protected
by a system of graham cracker levees.
- A Texas paper is reporting that lobbyist Jack
Abramoff charged a client $25,000 to have lunch with
President Bush. Not suprisingly, this is the most
anyone has ever paid to have lunch at Chuck E.
The trailer from Fateless
- Another cheery film: "a Jewish boy from Hungary
struggles to survive during his imprisonment in a
Nazi concentration camp."
The trailer and some clips from The Devil and Daniel
Johnston, a documentary about "talented and
tormented Daniel Johnston, a manic-depressive genius
singer/ songwriter/ artist, revealed in this portrait
of madness, creativity and love." (2005 Sundance Film
Festival, Winner - Best Director)
Six clips from the new rom-com Imagine Me & You
Three clips from Tsotsi
- Set amidst the sprawling Johannesburg township
of Soweto - where survival is the primary objective
- "Tsotsi" traces six days in the life of a ruthless
young gang leader who ends up caring for a baby
accidentally kidnapped during a car-jacking.
The international teaser for Flight 93
- Acclaimed filmmaker Paul Greengrass ("Bloody
Sunday," "The Bourne Supremacy") writes and directs
an unflinching drama that tells the story of the
passengers and crew, their families on the ground
and the flight controllers who watched in dawning
horror as United Airlines Flight 93 became the
fourth hijacked plane on the day of the worst
terrorist attacks on American soil: September 11,
"NAKED PHOTOS OF BUSH AND ABRAMOFF ROCK WHITE HOUSE
.. but President Still Denies Knowing Lobbyist"
- “These naked pictures of the president and Jack
Abramoff are nothing out of the ordinary,” Mr.
McClellan says. “In the course of his daily
schedule, the President poses nude with dozens of
- Mr. McClellan said that the American people
“would have no problem believing” that Mr. Bush
posed naked with Mr. Abramoff on five different
occasions without actually knowing who he was,
because “Our polls show that the American people
think that most of the time the President is in the
Oval Office he does not know what he is doing”
UPN, WB to Shut Down
- Programming from both will be used to launch a
new network which will offer 30 hours of programming
per week, mainly targeted at young and minority
Today's Sundance Insider
The Weekend Warrior's predictions and analysis for the
- He thinks Big Momma 2 will top a very weak field
on one of the year's worst weekends
This week's movies (expanding to 800 screens):
The Matador - 71% positive reviews. (Kinnear and
Brosnan in a dark "mismatched buddy comedy")
This week's movies (1900 screens)
Nanny McPhee - 90% positive reviews - a highly
praised kiddie movie in the darker mode, ala Potter or
Lemony Snicket or Wonka
This week's movies (1500 screens):
Annapolis - no reviews yet. This is the film that
looks like a clone of An Officer and a Gentleman
This week's movies (3000 screens):
Big Momma's House 2 - no reviews yet, but you know the
RT score will be low
- I guess the serious Oscar-baiting period is
over. The first Big Momma movie was bitch-slapped by
the critics, but was a hit, and this one is
predicted to open in the #1 spot, albeit on a very
"Fred Barnes, the author of 'Rebel-in-Chief' talks to
Jon Stewart about how George Bush has been
The Daily Show:
"The British have been spying on the Russians through
the delicate method of bugging a rock."
The Daily Show:
"There is no connection between Bush and Jack Abramoff
besides your standard old-timey cowboy photo."
Stephen Colbert presents this week's threatdown
Colbert claims that we have won the war on terror
The Daily Show:
"The Democrats responded to Abramoff en masse -- it's
almost like they have no role in governing."
Useless, but cool!
NASA - 3D map of the orbits of 5000 earth satellites
Which long-time franchises have never been to the
Super Bowl, and what are their chances?
- Excluding recent expansion teams, the roster
includes the Lions, the Saints, and the Cardinals.
The Saints and Cardinals have won only one
post-season game apiece since I was born. (1949)
Super Mario hangs it up for good this time
- "Penguins star and owner Mario Lemieux, one of
hockey's greatest players, retired Tuesday for the
second time. The 40-year-old Lemieux learned in
early December he has atrial fibrillation, an
irregular heartbeat that can cause his pulse to
flutter wildly and must be controlled by
Pacers to deal Artest to Kings for Stojakovic! The
Pacers originally wanted the Clippers' Corey Maggette,
but weren't pleased with Maggette's dicey ankle.
European ad to try to get you to get an eye exam!
(I wish America ran grown-up commercials.)
Now you can learn to be a proctologist through home
study - with the
Digital Rectal Examination simulator
Wow! The tories sweep the elections in Alberta.
Some wild changes happening in the Great White North,
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Black Rainbow (1989) is a UK horror/thriller starring Rosanna Arquette,
Jason Robards and Tom Hulce.
A young woman (Arquette) and her father (Robards) travel from town to town,
where she earns their living doing a psychic medium show in local churches.
Like her mother, she turns out to be actually psychic and is being driven
crazy by what she sees. Problems start when she accurately predicts a murder.
It was a professional hit ordered by a town official who has the police chief
in his pocket. Since Arquette "saw" the killer, the hit man is now after her.
Hulce plays a reporter whose skepticism is dispelled when, in the next
town, the psychic accurately predicts a disaster in the local power plant. The
reporter eventually becomes the love interest as well. Rosanna says, "I
would rather have a man lie with me than to me," and then shows her breasts
and possibly a hint of pubes.
It is an interesting premise to show a spiritualist making money in "show
business," and then turning out to have real psychic ability. Also, her
telling people in her audience that their loved ones are dead when they aren't
is riveting. Director Mike Hodges was honored at film festivals, and Arquette
gave a very strong performance and garnered several best actress awards one
the festival circuit. Hulce and Robards provided solid support. Unfortunately,
the film never made it past the festivals to get a wide theatrical release.
It has an unsatisfying, ambiguous ending, but despite that it has developed
a devoted cult following, as evidenced by some enthusiastic comments at IMDb
The overall IMDb score is 5.9.
Bottom line: C. The positive comments at IMDb indicate that it is a solid
National Lampoon Presents Barely Legal (2003)
This film premiered at Cannes in 2003. Two years later, it went straight to
vid in Germany, had a very brief US theatrical release, and is now available
on DVD. IMDb calls it "After School Special," a title that makes sense, but
doesn't seem to agree with any release titles anywhere, and calls it German.
As near as I can tell, it is US, in that Motion Picture Corporation of America
seems to be the primary production company. Funding came from everywhere,
including Germany and Canada, but distribution is controlled by Barely Legal
LLC, a US entity.
This is yet another High School gross-out comedy. It has completely escaped
the notice of critics, and IMDb comments are split between worst film every
made, and funnier than American Pie. I have been highly critical of many
recent National Lampoon offerings. This one, I found acceptable.
Three nearly-cool High School nerds, still virgins, make a good living
duping and selling porn to freshmen. Deacon Lewis (Erik von Detten), shit his
pants in 5th grade, and nobody will ever let him forget it. Fred (Tony Denman)
is painfully shy around girls, and masturbates six or seven times a day. Matt
(Daniel Farber), the nerdiest of the three, is a wannabe film maker. The porn
profits are set aside for their dream of getting a car and becoming babe
magnets. .When Deacon doesn't get the car he expected for his 17th birthday,
and Fred loses his job at the video store, thus killing their source of porn
to dub, they decide to make their own porn film and distribute it on the
Internet. They will slant it towards people like themselves, namely virgin
The problem of setting up a dummy company under an adult's name is easily
solved. The next problem is finding performers. Creating a phony ID on their
computer, the three go to a strip club looking for a female lead. My guess is
that the Pretty Kitty was an actual strip club, and a very fancy one at that,
where they find their leading lady in the person of Ashley (Sarah Jane Potts).
Ashley is "19, but tells everyone she is 18" and wants a career in porn. She
sees this film as a way to produce a demo reel which she can show to real porn
The local Stifler character (of course we need a Stifler character) forces
the nerds to make him the leading man, but he does not prove up to the task.
Of course, there are other obstacles as well. One of the nerds stops being a
virgin, and his new girlfriend nearly breaks up the film company. The local
porn maker, clearly meant to be Ron Jeremy, is after their hides for cutting
into his business. Finally, their enterprise is also in constant danger of
discovery by their parents.
The whole thing ends rather predictably. In fact, nothing particularly
surprising happens in the entire film. However, I found much to like.
- The DVD includes extended versions of the three major nude scenes,
clearly demonstrating that they knew what the major appeal of this offering
- Potts was skilled enough to have a completely different character when
acting in the porno and when not on camera.
- The male characters in the film are all over the top, but they kind of
- Some of the situations were amusing, and I even got one belly laugh
caused by impeccable timing rather than a novel idea.
- The visual style of the film was better than normal for this genre, and
they used every chance to insert little jokes. The following frames
demonstrate. As they pull out of the garage in a family mini-van, armed with
phony IDs to get into a strip club, we see the honor student bumper sticker.
The nudity is nearly as strange as the film. Brooke Dillman is a running
gag as a horny and lonely SexEd teacher. She is always braless with major
pokies. Tammy Morris, as a porn actress, shows breasts. Several unknowns also
show breasts and buns both in the porn film and the strip club. Sarah Jane
Potts shows breasts in several scenes, but always covered by transparent
lingerie, nearly transparent tape over her nipples, or her hands. Neither the
lingerie nor the tape leave anything to the imagination, and, with the other
breast exposure in the film, it was heading for R anyway, so it was likely a
no nudity clause in her contract, so please leave her blissfully ignorant as
to how much she actually showed.
Bottom line: C. I am a fan of these raunchy teen comedies, and found
this one perfectly acceptable.
Today January 25 is an anniversary day for me and the Fun House. Indeed it is
exactly 7 years ago since my first contribution to this page was published. If
someone had told me back then in 1999 that I would still be submitting
material to the Fun House in 2006, I probably would have declared that person
insane. But this is a case where I am gladly proven wrong. But enough
mumbo-jumbo, let's get to the bare facts.
On this somewhat special day you'll be seeing Emmanuelle Seigner, director
Roman Polanski's wife, in an excellent triple B performance. You don't think
that's enough? Then I'll throw in her sister Mathilde as well, equally nude.
Still not satisfied? Then I've got 4 more actresses for you, all stark naked:
Noëlla Dussart, now a children's show host, Jeanne Savary, Catherine Mongodin
and Nathalie Cardone. Is there room for more? Indeed there is, 4 unknown
performers are also as naked as a jaybird. If I counted correctly we have 10
actresses completely in the buff with only 4 of them unidentified.
The occasion for that extravaganza is the 1994 movie Le Sourire (The Smile),
starring Jean-Pierre Marielle. I think I've mentioned this excellent and
prolific French actor in some earlier contribution as he is some lucky dude.
You see, in his films he somehow always ends up in the presence of naked
well-known French actresses. We'll be having more encounters with him in
upcoming Fun House contributions. It may be interesting to know that he is
playing a role in The Da Vinci Code, so he'll soon be recognized by
international audiences as well.
What is a mystery to me is the fact that Le Sourire is still not available on
DVD anywhere in the world, not even in France, as far as I know. It's an
Eldorado for celebrity nudity lovers and a good movie as well. It is currently
underrated at 5.8/10 in the IMDb. Jean-Pierre Marielle and Emmanuelle Seigner were
excellent in their roles, while the other actors weren't too shabby either.
The characters in this somewhat out-of-reality story could be persons of flesh
and blood and managed to hold my attention even in this dubbed version from
German TV, despite the fact that the movie is too contemplative in some parts.
The story deals with a doctor (Jean-Pierre Marielle), who runs a mental asylum
together with his estranged and bossy wife. He is having health problems and
decides to take a break. He goes on some kind of Tour de France and on a train
he meets Emmanuelle Seigner, who has frequent nose-bleeds. They decide to
travel along together and we see how their relationship develops and
eventually dies. During their journeys they end up in some traveling strip
show joint, run by Richard Bohringer (he is the father of Romane who used to
be a Fun House regular). That's the place were most of the nude scenes take
Since most nude scenes feature several actresses at the same time I didn't
even try to label them separately. The first girl to take her clothes off in
the park surrounding the asylum is Nathalie Cardone. You probably won't have
trouble recognizing Emmanuelle. There is a naked bunch of four composed by
Mathilde Seigner, Noëlla Dussart, Jeanne Savary and Catherine Mongodin. The
grand finale is for Emmanuelle and four unknowns. You can always refer to
Charlie's page, go to his S archives and right on top you'll see Le Sourire.
Click on 1 new and you'll have no trouble knowing who's who.
Please enjoy these 16 clips totaling more than 13 minutes of triple B nudity.
Alexandra Paul in Cyber Bandits, I think this was her last nude scene.