Best Defense (1984) is a Dudley Moore comedy rated 3.3 of 10 at IMDB. Ask Scoopy would say, "nuff said." Moore is an incompetent engineer working on a guidance gyro for a tank missile control system. A bizarre engineer who was working independently for the Russians gives Moore his design after having second thoughts. The spies kill the weird guy, Moore takes credit for the design, Moore's company is saved, but the Russian's are after him.
In an odd sub-plot, Eddie Murphy is a tank commander in Kuwait training them to use new tanks. The nudity occurs at the beginning of the movie when Murphy is having sex with a belly dancer, played by Tracey Ross. She shows breasts in this very energetic morning sex scene.
This film is bad enough to make the bottom 100 of all time list at IMDB. There was one element I did find amusing. They kept doing very recognizable elevator music like Moon River and Cole to You, but in foreign languages, in hotel scenes. There is nothing wrong with this film technically, it is just a very unfunny Dudley Moore vehicle. D.
Thirteen (2003) is one of the films Scoopy saw at Sundance (see his review at the movie house). It is an ultra low budget written by a Hollywood professional and a 13 year old girl, who was the daughter of one of her friends. She noticed the girl had suddenly become a "problem child" when puberty hit, and befriended her to channel some of her adolescent energy into creative directions. They decided to collaborate on a script. It was originally to be some light teen comedy, but they quickly realized that there was a real story in the sort of rebellion and pressures that modern teens go through, thus the film was born. The young girl (Nikki Reed) played one of two main characters and the woman (Catherine Hardwicke) directed. They were willing to shoot the thing on home video just to get it made, but managed to get Holly Hunter to play the lead role of the mother, and found some financing and a quality cast easier to come by. It was shot in less than a month on super 1 mm.
It is not a pleasant film. The girls rebellion includes shoplifting, drug use, self-mutilation, sex, and being total bitches to everyone around them. Hunter was superb as the mother, all the characters were well developed, but what made this an outstanding film was the authenticity of the script. It is hard to beat having someone write a story having recently lived it.
Hunter does a brief full frontal shower scene. A warning to the squeamish -- the self mutilation is pretty hard to watch. This will certainly not be to everyone's taste, but this is exactly what indie films should be about, fresh approaches to fresh material, and this one could not have been done better at any budget. C+
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Everybody's All-American (1988):
I need to repeat Tuna's original comments, because
he had a good plot summary and precisely the right analysis of what
went wrong here. Read this, then I'll build on the point:
This film recounts the story of The Grey Ghost, star football player
from a southern school (Dennis Quaid), his fiance and Magnolia Queen
(Jessica Lange), and the Ghost's studious cousin (Timothy Hutton).
As the story goes, The Grey Ghost was the real thing, everybody's
all-American, school legend, and genuinely nice person. The Magnolia
Queen was the woman desired by every man, epitome of the Southern
belle. The BMOC Ghost had promised the people back home that
he'd look after his shy cousin who was attending the same school, so
the three of them became fast friends.
From there on, the story got in trouble. One view is that it is the
story of a football player's life, beginning with his glory days in
school, proceeding through his selection as the first round draft
pick by the worst team in the league, following through his decline,
and then observing him as he learns to cope with being someone who
used to be famous. Then there is the love triangle among the three.
As if this weren't enough confusion, they threw in a civil rights
and race angle with a black former football player, and another
major sub-plot about Lang losing her Southern belle affectations
with the swooning fan and "why little old me?" and becoming a shrewd
and successful business woman.
So, was this a sports story, a romantic love triangle, or the story
of the growth of a woman? I think the answer comes with the sappy
romantic ending. It was a chick flick relationship story all along.
All three characters were likable, sympathetic characters, and they
were played extremely well by the leads, but the problem is very
basic. What made them think that a football story would appeal to
the chickflick audience, and vice versa?
Tuna hit the nail
right on the head. Somewhere inside this script, there was a pretty
good little sports story about faded glory, but the film tried to
stretch out into too many directions at once, many of them too
touchy-feely. The failures, and even the successes, of the sub-plots
detracted from the main storyline. For some reason, the screenwriter
felt it was necessary to give the film a happy ending which felt
artificial, and was completely unnecessary. In fact, I liked the
film best just before that ending, when it had emerged from its
cloud and had become a sad story about the Ghost's having pissed
away his principles and compromised his ideals. Probably because, as
Tuna said, it was both a love story and a fading jock story, the
script stepped on the purity of the ending and wanted to resolve the
love story with one of those "Oh, Ricky. Oh, Lucy" hugs at the end.
Those elements did not make this a bad movie
by any means. It is a pretty good movie with some excellent moments.
should have been terrific if someone could have figured out how to
focus it properly.
I recommend the DVD
because of the special features. There is commentary, and two
featurettes and, most important, deleted footage. If you watch the
DVD and then the deleted footage, you'll get a crash course in the
issues which are examined before producing a final cut. There are
some elements in the deleted footage which are critical to the plot,
but they were deleted anyway. Without that footage, certain
sub-plots don't make sense, and two major characters just disappear
without any explanation. The main deleted scene involved the Ghost
having sex with the wife of a "jock-sniffer". The husband, who had
worshipped the Ghost, found them together and started whipping the
stark-naked Ghost with a riding crop. In the ensuing melee, the
husband ended up shooting his wife, the police were summoned,
Ghost's wife found out about everything, and Ghost's wife lost her
own job, because she was employed by the jock-sniffer. With his
meaningless, drunken passion, the Ghost managed to destroy their
lives completely. In a sense, it was the most important scene in the
There were several
reasons why the scene may have been cut despite the continuity problems
caused by that action:
1) It showed the Ghost having
sex with a totally despicable woman. That fact radically altered the
audience perception of him, changing him from a lovable but
mischievous good ol' boy to a complete scumbag, and showing him
having sunk to a lower level than we might want to see, making it
difficult for us to believe her forgiving him.
2) It added yet
another long scene which served to develop a sub-plot (the obnoxious
jock-sniffer and his even more obnoxious wife, whom the Ghost
despised, but later had to rely on for charity) while slowing
down the main flow of the film.
3) Dennis Quaid, then
a gigastar, was rather explicitly exposed in this scene, since he
was stark naked as he wrestled with and kicked the husband.
Personally, I would not have
cut this scene, which explained a lot that needed explaining.
There was another
scene I would not have cut, because it was only a couple of seconds
long and made a very powerful point. The Ghost and his wife were
watching TV when he saw an unidentified old man as the mystery guest
on What's My Line. His wife says, in amazement, "That's Errol
Flynn", and just for an instant, she and the Ghost were
looking at his own future, when people will say "who's that old
guy", and someone will yell out "he used to be the Gray Ghost". I
did listen to the commentary, and the director seemed to be
completely unaware of the fact that Flynn's fate foreshadowed
Ghost's. He seemed to think that it was merely irrelevant period
detail. The writer is also on the commentary track, and tried to
tell him that Flynn was "another guy without a second act", but the
director would have none of it.
By the way, the director was
Taylor Hackford. Although I've criticized some of his decisions
here, I like his work. He is a solid director with some impressive
The original source of the script was a
novel written by Frank DeFord, who was one of the best sportswriters of his generation, so you know he had the details right.
Which brings us right back to our original
point - plenty of individual elements that should have added
up to a great film, but didn't.
I don't know the
record for the oldest person ever to play a student in a major film,
but Jessica Lange's character is a junior in college when the film
begins, and Ms Lange was 39 at the time. This is the oldest example
I can cite, possibly excepting Jason Priestly, who was a 67 year old
high school student on Beverly Hills 90210. (Seriously, Priestly was
29 in his last year on that show.)
When I watched this
film, it dawned on me that the girl that they got to play Jessica
Lange as a young woman in Big Fish looked amazingly like Jessica
Lange playing herself as a young girl in Everybody's All-American.
Jessica Lange (1,
5) (see Tuna's section for more caps of
Lange as well as some of the deleted scenes.
Some .wmv clips. Today's theme - rare
Mailbox - the naked and future
I read earlier this week in the newspaper that topless/nude
pictures from ca. 1996 exist of Letizia Ortiz, news anchor on
Spanish public TV channel TVE and most importantly, the future
wife of Prince Felipe, heir to the throne of Spain. I didn't find
anything on the internet, but the following picture and article
were published in today's (January 23, 2004) Flemish newspaper "Het
Laatste Nieuws". Here is the translation from Dutch to English.
"Future Spanish queen in her full glory on a
The paper airplane has such a strange form that as a Belgian I
thought she was holding a sack full of still smoldering fries she
just bought. Looks exactly the same but the mayonaise seems to be
missing (traditionally ready-to-eat fries in Belgium are sold in
paper bags that look just like whatever Letizia is holding).
Anyway, here is Letizia topless thanks to my newspaper. The
picture isn't top quality, it's from a newspaper and their picture
wasn't top-notch either. But hey, it is Spain's future queen
topless. Only a week ago I wouldn't have thought this material
"Madrid - This is the painting that's keeping Spain awake.
The future Spanish queen, Letizia Ortiz (31), can be seen in her
full glory on a painting by Cuban painter Waldo Saavedra.
Letizia posed for him when she was studying in the Mexican city
of Guadalajara. Waldo eternalized her in a wall painting in a
restaurant. On this work of art, that in the meantime has
disappeared, is depicted rather small a topless Letizia Ortiz,
with a paper airplane in her hand. Now that she is going to say
"Yes" to Spanish heir to the throne Felipe (35), blow-ups from
the old canvas get attention worldwide. Very much to the dismay
of the Madrid royal court, Waldo Saavedra announces that he
still has more revealing pictures of Letizia. He wants to have
them published on the day of the royal marriage."
I hope you can use this, Scoopy, and if not, then never mind. This
is unfortunately not my return to the page. I just wanted to
signal something that doesn't seem to be getting attention on the
I just found a great sex scene with Peta Wilson on ifilm.com. The
movie is The Saddness of Sex. She is shown very clearly having sex
in a very lighted area. The episode to watch is episode 6.
Pope denies praising "Torque". In other news, the
Dalai Lama today denied widely published reports that he
called “Along Came Polly” “the feel-good movie of 2004.” In a
prepared statement, a spokesman for the Dalai Lama said, “The
Dalai Lama was, frankly, disappointed by ‘Along Came Polly,’
and warns moviegoers that all of the funny parts are in the
JoBlo's Movie Emporium scored a major coup with
behind-the-scenes footage from Star Wars III, including a 35
meg film clip.
FilmJerk.com's Early Report for January 24, 2004
- There is now an online trailer for
Envy, a Barry Levinson comedy with Ben Stiller,
Jack Black, Rachel Weisz, Amy Poehler, Ving Rhames, and the
eternally idiosyncratic Christopher Walken wearing one of his
weirdest hairstyles yet.
Just about everything there is to know about cartoons.
The Daily Show looks at New Hampshire and Mess o' Potamia
Final Destination Scribe Turns His Attention to Tamara:
"Jeffrey Reddick, the writer and creator of Final Destination,
is at work on his next project, a sexy, supernatural thriller
called Tamara, directed by first-time feature director David
Fine Art Nudes
Legendary international glamour and fashion photographer
Helmut Newton was killed in a car crash in Hollywood today.
Newton, who fled Nazi Germany and settled in Australia, was
- Here's the trailer for
Touching The Void, about a climbing expedition.
- Here are the trailers for
Zatoichi , a Japanese samurai epic.
- Here's thge trailer for
Valentin, foreign family fare about an 8 year old
looking for a family.
- Here's the trailer for the Italian import,
I'm not Scared (Io non ho paura)
AOL Presidential Match - which candidate do you agree with
JoBlo.com's Sundance report: Day 6
One of the members of Jethro Tull is now a woman.
In fact, he's a specific woman - Martina Navratilova
- Some crazy guy has collected about a gazillion of those
Howard Dean dance mixes and placed them in a domain called
Dean Goes Nuts.
Gallup Poll Analyses - Kerry Continues to Surge in New
Hampshire Kerry 34, Dean 22, Clark 17, Edwards 12
Van Peebles Weaves Tale of 'Sweetback' Success:
"Actor/director Mario Van Peebles' premieres 'Baadasssss!,'
which chronicles his father's making the legendary 'Sweet
Sweetback's Baadasssss Song'
The Chicago Film Critics Association honored the final chapter
of Peter Jackson's Rings trilogy with three awards Wednesday,
including those for Best Picture and Best Director.
- Todays' quote of the day is from Reverend Al to Dr Dean:
'Don't be hard on yourself about hooting and hollering,' Al
Sharpton advised the former Vermont governor. 'If I had spent
the money you did and got 18 percent, I'd still be in Iowa
hooting and hollering.'"
Captain Kangaroo is dead at 76.
Pope Sleeps Through Yet Another Christ Film. "a
high Vatican official reported that Pope John Paul had slept
right through the exclusive screening of Mel Gibson's latest
film. The pope nodded off sometime between the trailer for
Hellboy and that commercial about helping people find their
Pete Rose Reportedly Heads To Casino For Book Signing.
The casino has nothing to do with the book. He could have held
the signing at Barnes and Noble. He just likes casinos.
Public cleavage from Jolie
If you love cars and use to love Transformers, then this is
"bubble wrap bra and thong panty"
Next 'Bachelor' to be NFL Quarterback
Star Wars - the TV series ???
KILL BILL VOLUME 2 new teaser
The mouse odometer
- The tralier for
Carandiru is now online. "Film based on real life
experiences of doctor Drauzio Varella inside dreadful State
penitentiary Carandiru, in Sao Paulo, Brazil, while he was
doing a social work of Aids prevention. There he found
hundreds of convicts living under degrading conditions. The
situation came to a climax in 1992, when in order to smother a
rebellion, police force killed 111 men."
Feds propose new law: mandatory masks for the ugly.
(Weekly World News)
Prosecutors say they think they have evidence that Rush
Limbaugh committed at least 10 felonies. If Rush
thinks he has back pain now, wait until he spends a few days
FBI makes arrest in Oscar screener piracy. Working
through actor Carmine Caridi, the FBI found one of the main
players in the film duplication/distribution scene. Mr Caridi
admitted to sending about 200 "screener" films to his
USA Today is shocked, shocked to discover Halliburton
corruption in Iraq.
Zeta-Jones spends two million dollars in legal fees to win
$27,000 in court-awarded damages! They plan to
appeal, which will probably cost them several million more.
San Mateo to ban karaoke. Police say private booths
are a popular home for drugs, prostitution. The capper on the
story is that advocacy groups oppose the ban because it
discriminates against Asian-Americans, who presumably have as
much right to drugs and prostitutes as anyone else.
Water found at Martian pole. This may indicate the
presence of life, particularly since it is bottled water.
The great Joe Willie checks into rehab.
Totally Busted: Sign My Petition.
Marey Carey and Janelle Perry catfight over who will get
passersby to sign a petition.
- The future
Queen of Spain in the
buff. "Nuff said
- I have a theory: no matter how absurd an idea is, there
are people who will agree with it. If you argue that President
Bush personally ordered 9/11, there will be people who will
agree with you. Applying that theory one sub-level deeper, it
follows that no matter how untalented and unappealing a movie
actor is, he or she will have a fan club. It is in that spirit
that we present
The Jeff Fahey Fan Club Home Page, which looks like
it was designed by the same people who've made his recent
Jennifer Lopez dumps Affleck because she can't understand him
when he speaks Spanish. That isn't why they broke
up, but I'm not kidding - Affleck speaks fluent Spanish and
Lopez really struggles with the language! The big questions
now - (1) they've been split up for a couple of hours, and
Affleck is wondering if he will ever love again (2) he's also
wondering if he can legally change his name to Bennifer.
- This review is supposed to be about
Gigli, but it's really about how Affleck should
celebrate his liberation from Bennifer hell, and get back to
being a regular guy.
Jimmy Buffett headlining in Vegas. His show is
called "A pirate looks at selling out".
Boo-hoo. That mean old Drudge made Margaret Cho cry
and Margaret never said a mean word about anyone. Oh, wait.
She did. Oops. "Drudge shot back: 'Those E-mails are mild
compared to what I receive on a daily basis. That is the
nature of the Internet. Moby and his friends just have to
retroCRUSH pays tribute to Liz Taylor, as she looked
Jordan's enormous assets
Major studio FILM PRODUCTION CHART
Scientists have devised a mathematical formula to help people
overcome the fear of using chopsticks.
Unfortunately, laymen can't read the formula, because all the
r's were transcribed as l's.
In Gay-Marriage Ruling, Boom for Provincetown, Mass.
Meanwhile, the President clarified his prior position, by
saying, "Ok, gay people can technically get married, but not
to people of the same sex."
Darque Dungeon - why you shouldn't be a Goth.
Some songs played backwards. Amazingly enough, here
it is about 35 years later, and Paul STILL isn't dead.
- A few free movies from
Playboy's Twins & Sisters!
- Here are some free movies from
Playboy's Cheerleaders & College Girls!
- According to Rotten Tomatoes, critics generally panned
The Butterfly Effect. The film received only 32%
positive reviews overall, and only 18% from their inner
circle. A few people did write good reviews, including James
Berardinelli and JoBlo. Well, they tried to write good
reviews of Ashton Kutcher, but then the sun became black as
sackcloth, the full moon became like blood, and the stars of
the sky fell to the earth as the fig tree sheds its winter
fruit when shaken by a gale. So they took that as a sign and
toned down a few passages.
- So far,
Butterfly Effect scores a weak 23 at Metacritic.
- Here is
JoBlo's positive review of The Butterfly Effect.
The Pope, in keeping with his tradition of reviewing films
with one syllable words, said, "it is as it might have been if
it were not"
- Speaking of the Pope, otherwise known as the Roger Ebert
of L'Osservatore Romano,
did someone in the Vatican bear false witness? Mel
Gibson's producer said: "We received written permission
to publicize the Pope's comment on the film, 'It is as it
was'. Unless we receive an official indication to the
contrary, we will continue to stand by the statement." The
Pope himself said, in one syllable words: "Yeah, it was good,
but not as cool as Hud."
FilmJerk.com - Film Based on French Comic Book Duo Blake and
Mortimer Searches for Leads. The budget is a pretty
hefty $33 million.
- The trailer for
AGAINST THE ROPES is now online (Paramount's boxing
movie with Meg Ryan and Omar Epps).
Martin Scorsese will develop a movie from Graham Greene's The
Heart of the Matter. Good project. It was already
made into a very good movie with Trevor Howard, but that was
50 years ago, so ...
Man seeks top half of Ringo Starr. He's not half
the man he used to be. Oh, he believes in yesterday.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words and .wmv's from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh
Wow. Kelly Preston. Perfect breasts, a sweet bum,
and even the full monty in the full-screen version of Mischief. This
cute little 80s coming-of-age comedy is still not on DVD! I
hate to admit it, but the dorky guy in this clip really looks a lot
like me at the same age. (.avi version, .wmv version)
Speaking of WOW: Gretchen Mol's sex scene with
Shakespeare in the lame but beautifully photographed
Forever Mine, one
of the top five sex scenes
of the year 2000. (.avi version, .wmv version)
Charlize Theron's full-frontal scene from
Advocate, one of the greatest escapist films ever made, and
another one from Taylor Hackford, who is discussed at some length in
the section above, under Everybody's All-American. (.avi version, .wmv version)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Graphic Response takes a look at the 1998 movie, "Illuminata", co-written and directed by John Turturro.
- Aida Turturro, "The Soprano's" co-star and John's cousin shows off her big'uns.
- Georgina Cates, also topless, but on the other end of the size scale.
- Susan Sarandon, teasing with a little cleavage and some almost-kinda-sorta-see-thru exposure.
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
There's a lot to say about Piñata: Survival Island
(2002), aka Demon Island. None of it is good.
Imagine, if you will or if you can, an episode of
Survivor in which elements of Emerald Forest, Freddy
vs Jason and the "shit" episode of South Park are
blended not so smoothly. There you have it.
The plot? A 15th century Yucatan demon is trapped in
the body of a piñata and set afloat, whence it lands
on an island and remains undisturbed....until a group
of 21st century frat boys and sorority babes lands on
the island to conduct a scavenger hunt. They are
hunting for two things: 1) panties, strewn about by a
couple with lots of time to waste; 2) tequila, stored
conviently in...yep... piñatas.
One couple finds the evil piñata, gives it 40 whacks
to get at the tequila and awakens the demon. He
proceeds to kill in ways more laughable than gruesome
(grabs one guy by his minerals and proceeds to pull
out long, stringy things as the dude stands there and
shrieks like a little girl. Can't imagine the pain or
the torque you gotta exert to do this but I'm pretty
sure the unfortunate soul would not be standing on
The killing starts way too soon, for if there is one
inviolate rule of slasher movies it's that people
scared witless do not get nekkid. By the end of it
all, only former Hefmat Daphne Duplaix has given up
anything resembling goodies, when she and her partner
get into a little hootie gropin' and kissin' that
lasts maybe eight frames.
And you get to see Jaime Pressly's divine posterior
covered by sweat pants. Capped one scene as she runs
from the Demon Piñata, which has suddenly grown a tail
and sorta flies through the air in a sequence animated
with a skill befitting the whole enterprise. This
same demon ran down a couple on an ATV, which personal
experience suggests can do 45 mph in a straight line.
Must mean Jamie was 50 mph, at least. And THAT means
female speed is directly related to the beauty of the
behind. Not the size... because then JLo would have
more Olympic medals than Mark Spitz... the beauty.
Only possible conclusion.
So the early tribespeople are Emerald Forest, Survivor
is obvious, the demon is sorta like Freddy or Jason or
Chuckie or Bride of Chuckie. What about South Park?
If'n I remember well, "shit" is said 132 times in the
famous episode of that show. And in this movie it is
said 133. A hundred of them by Jaime alone.
Seriously. Every time she looks up and sees something
that remotely earns her disapproval, she
says...."shit." Old boyfriend? Shit. Seaweed?
Shit. A corpse hanging with its bottom half missing?
Shit. A comically animated demon, flying through the
air? Yep, shit. A word for all occasions.
Screenwriting at its frigging finest. And perfectly in
keeping with Jaime's on-screen white-trash persona.
Beside Daphne's almost-hootie and Jaime's clothed
behind, I capped a real cutie named Lara Boyd Rhodes.
She's in a wet t-shirt at one point but the material
is too thick or not wet enough or something. No
exposure in any case. You gotta go way back to the
Dec 15, 2000 edition of the Funhouse to catch a
glimpse of her behind in some caps that Oz made.
A lot to say about Piñata, indeed. If you like comically bad movies it is worth the price of admission. Mike and the Bots, may they rest in peace, would have loved this one.
|No nudity, but the young star of the hit FOX series "24" is just too damn cute. Here she is in some production stills from her upcoming movie, "The Girl Next Door".
||Showing off a killer bum and just a bit of breast exposure in scenes from her breakthrough role in "Splash" (1984).
||A-/B+ actor Mario Van Peebles' mom going full frontal and being bound and tortured in scenes from the 1974 "Sexploitation flick, "Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS".
||A terrific production still of Halle showing some cleavage in her Catwoman suit. The sceduled release date for this kitty in July 30.
||From "Bring It On Again". I'm not sure why anyone would bother making sequel to "Bring it On", especially without the original cast and taking it straight to video...but they did, so here is some PG-rated cheerleader in a sports bra exposure. "Caps by Twitchy.
|One more batch of 'caps by Marvin from the Tinto Brass movie "L'Uomo che guarda" aka "The Voyeur" (1993). Once again we have plenty of B's and gyno-views, plus this time around we also have some serious lesbo lovin'.
|The Skin-meiser takes a look at the new made for cable series "The L Word". All I can say is this...who doesn't love lesbians?
Beals has a bad habbit of never giving up the goods, but at least it's a another woman's hand that covering up her breasts.
Holloman is topless and getting a little girl/girl lovin'.
Kirshner also bares breasts in lesbian love scenes.
Moennig goes full frontal and briefly bares her bum as well.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BEN AND J-LO OFFICIALLY KAPUT
What The Hell, Let's Make It The Lead Item - US magazine is reporting that
Bennifer is no more: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have officially broken
up, as of January 20. J-Lo's spokesperson said, "I am confirming the
report that Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck. At
this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy."
Because J-Lo has ALWAYS tried to avoid getting publicity for her
Yes, please, PLEASE, respect her privacy! We're SO sick of her!
Upon announcement of the news, 14 tabloids went out of business.
Ben is returning to his first love: Matt Damon.
It finally happened: J-Lo is now dumping husbands faster than she can
PRIVATE KARAOKE BOOTHS BANNED
A Place To Be Bad - The San Mateo, California, city council has passed a
45-day emergency ban on private karaoke booths. Police say the small
sound-proofed rooms found in clubs are a potential haven for prostitution,
underage drinking, fights and robberies. But opponents said private
karaoke rooms give bad singers a place to sing a love song to their
partners without embarrassment.
You'll still get dumped, but at least it won't be in public.
They claim the only assaults taking place there are assaults on people's
Plus, they're the perfect place to lock away all the losers on this
week's "American Idol."
CUTELY-NAMED MUTTS ARE HOT TREND IN DOGS
I May Pukey-poo - Reuters reports that the hottest trend in dogs is new
mixed breeds with cutesy names. Some cost up to $4,000. Popular mixed
breeds include the Labradoodle (labrador-poodle), the Schnoodle
(schnauzer-poodle), the yorkipoo (yorkie-poodle), the dorgi
(dachshund-corgi), and the bagel (basset hound-beagle). One owner said, "I
have not met another dog as gentle, intuitive, caring, and intelligent as
If it's that sensitive, it must be dying of embarrassment over its name.
So if you visit Korea, DON'T order a bagel from Room Service!
It's easy to breed a German shepherd with a French poodle because the
French poodle immediately surrenders.
I'm waiting for someone to cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a
rooster and get a cockadoodledoo.
Back when these were called "mutts," they gave them away free at the
MEAT DOESN'T CAUSE IMPOTENCE
Hands Off My Meat! - The New York Post's Page Six reports that meateaters
are speaking out against PETA ads claiming that meat causes impotence. A
top Manhattan steakhouse chef notes that people have eaten meat since Cro
Magnon days, and there are 6 billion of us now. And leading urologist Dr.
Lawrence McGuire said that eating a lot of red meat might cause clogged
arteries or shorten your life, but there is no study that shows it keeps
you from getting an erection.
And that's all that matters to any man!
Their slogan is, "My meat is just fine, thank you!"
How could anything that looks like a kielbasa make you impotent?