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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Don't forget to vote here for best nude scene of 2000.

I did Sister, Sister. This is a real turkey, a late 80's Southern Gothic revenge tale with every cliche in the book and an impossible supernatural ending . But there are some interesting facets to this rough-cut stone. The frigging thing has a full-length director's commentary and deleted scenes, in which

  • Jennifer Jason Leigh gets naked a little more.

  • The director explains why the movie is so bad, and how much worse he thinks it was in the first cut, when the screening audience almost tarred and feathered him!

  • There is a happy ending - the modest director churned out 11 more years of this kind of crap then, out of nowhere, wrote and directed a terrific indy called Gods and Monsters, and ended up winning an Oscar for adapting his screenplay from Christopher Bram's novel.

New releases: I looked at Steal This Movie, a lame Abbie Hoffman biopic, and Bait the Bruce Willis movie with Jamie Foxx instead of Bruce Willis, and no nudity instead of nudity.

Sister Sister, Jennifer Jason Leigh (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Janeane Garofalo, Steal this Movie (not nude, but worth a look)

Miscellaneous, Steal this Movie

"Sheba, Baby" (1975)

Sheba, Baby (1975) is one of, if not the weakest Pamsploitation films. It is a sad state of affairs when the only visible nipple in a Pam Grier film belongs to a Caucasian unknown actress. Pam is half of a detective agency in Chicago, when she is summoned home to Louisville to help defend her dad against some mobsters who are trying to force him to sell his loan business. Not only couldn't they find a reason to undress her, but she talks like a nun, and, other than one kick to the groin and a brief cat fight, doesn't wreak much havoc. The ending was especially lame. She is in a speedboat, chasing the bad guy who is also in a speedboat. He is looking backwards and shooting at her for what seems like forever, and not only doesn't crash his boat, but never hits hers. She empties an Uzi and also manages to miss both him and his boat. She then nails him with a spear gun in the back and kills him instantly.

Pam has one post-coital scene in which you see most of the side of one breast, and shows good cleavage during the cat fight (which is the highlight of the film.) Lets face it -- 70s Pam Grier Films had two things going for them, action and nudity. They left both out of this one. IMDB readers say 5.2/10 with very few precincts reporting. Maltin applauds the lack of nudity and action, but complains about bad acting and a weak script in awarding two stars. Even Pamsploitation fanatics should avoid this one.

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  • Pam Grier (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Unknown

    "Desert Hearts" (1985)

    Desert Hearts (1985) is, for me, the new release of the month. I rented it the day it was released on New Years Eve as one of several movies, and was totally blown away by it. It is the best lesbian film ever made, and has one of, if not the, hottest love scenes every filmed. Donna Deitch, in her directoral debut, got this character driven drama/love story just right.

    Helen Shaver plays an East Coast professor in her 30s who comes to a ranch in Reno in 1950 to establish residency for a quickie divorce. She is finally leaving her husband after 17 years of what was a marriage of professional convenience totally devoid of love or passion. A person who likes things orderly, this is the biggest risk she has ever taken. Enter Patricia Charbonneau as the lesbian daughter of the ranch owner. Charbonneau immediately sees that Shaver is what she has been hoping for - someone who matters, and Shaver slowly realizes that it is not that she is asexual, but rather that she was looking to the wrong gender.

    The story examines with much sensitivity Charbonneau's conquest, and Shaver's struggle to cut loose. When the two finally get together, the sex, although not that explicit, ignites the screen. It is not just what they do to each other, but the way they do it, and the way they look at each other. Beautiful scenery, good cinematography and decent art direction make this one of my favorite films. Interesting to me, the love scene is done with no score. This had the effect of making me focus completely on the two women and the way they were focused on each other. The DVD is letterboxed to preserve the original aspect ratio, and is a good transfer, with excellent color saturation and contrast.

    Maltin is unimpressed at 2 1/2 stars. Ebert agrees. IMDB readers give it 6.5/10. Lesbian sites rank it as the most influential lesbian film of all time. Shot on a budget of $350,000.00, the US gross was a very respectable $2.492m.

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  • Helen Shaver (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Patricia Charbonneau (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Shaver and Charbonneau (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Brainscan
    The mini-micro-caps of Lauren Hays (1, 2, 3) and Neriah Davis (1, 2, 3, 4) from Meatballs 4 require me to make amends. Herewith some serious pics of the two babes, Neriah from her post-bunnymag days. Odd thing about Neriah. No she is not a natural blonde and no those are not her natural hooters (but listen up starlets, one and all, if you must enlarge the bustline call Neriah and ask for the name of her plastic surgeon), but damn there is something about her that drives the boys in the shop crazy, me included. Hate to speculate, but the gals in the group claim we are responding to the permanent look of stupidity on her face. Those gals are cold.

    To continue with today's post we have a heepin' helpin' of paparazzi pics, including a mess of em from the Golden Globes.

    Angelina Jolie cleaned up nicely and spent the evening picking up quarters that the paparazzi threw her way, for some reason.

    Erin Brockovich, the real one, came dressed like Erin Brockovich, the movie creation.

    This is not Alicia Witt at the GG's; don't know where she was and I don't care just so long as she continues to dress like this.

    And Alicia wasn't at the Globes wearing this outfit, either, but I don't hear you complaining.

    Charlize Theron was Golden Globing it and she wins the Brainscan Stalker Award, that prize which goes to the major babe who I, myself, would have followed around with a camera waiting for the goodies to come into view. Once again Hilary Swank did not win. Try again next year.

    And lastly we have Julia Stiles at the premiere of Save the Last Dance. Would love to see several more pictures of her up close and personal in this dress; make that several dozen more pics.

    Kate Hudson woulda won the stalker award if Charlize had not shown up.

    And the twofer award (as in Two Fer the Price of One) goes to Sela Ward and Heather Locklear in close proximity, with hectares or liters or parsecs of cleavage between them.

    We end with my favorite of these pics: Venus Williams reaching out to get the ball. I don't expect women in sports to have the painfully beautiful features of actresses and models, but I love pictures of them anyway. You see, IMHO there is nothing and no one sexier than a woman athlete. And Venus is most certainly an athlete. Here's hoping she continues to dress for success and that we continue to see a lot of her.

    A whole mess of outstanding scans for fans of supermodels everywhere! The quality as always is fantastic, the nudity however is a little on the light side.

    Emma Sjoberg
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Esther Schweins
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Naomi Campbell
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Erin O'Connor
    (1, 2)

    Maggie Rizer
    Karen Elson
    Monica Bellucci Very nice see-thru nipple exposure.
    Tatiana Korsakova The only real nudity in today's batch. Very nice topless exposure from the cover of the January German GQ.
    Pam Anderson No nudity, but tons of cleavage on the cover of the German Cinema.
    Helena Dahlquist
    and ...
    Carrie-Anne Moss Nice work by a new contributor! Vidcaps of Carrie-Anne from the not yet on DVD or VHS sci-fi movie "Red Planet". Nice pokies, and some partial breast exposure by Orion.

    Charmaine Sinclair
    (1, 2, 3)

    Part 2 of Charmaine's nude work out on German TV, by UC99.

    Frederique van der Vaal A very nice, topless B&W of the Victoria's Secret model.

    Rachel Griffiths Full nudity, both frontal and dorsal from 1998's "Among Giants".

    Caprice Benedetti Breast exposure from the little known "Slow Burn".

    Vanessa Upton Excellent topless image of the British model.

    The Funnies
  • Curious George

    From the Comedy Wire:
    * Young, married actress Jamie Presley accused Steven Seagal of groping her breasts in her dressing room while she was co-starring in his new movie...

    This is shocking news...They let Steven Seagal make another movie!!

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