Sunday

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

I finally watched the damned thing. Here are my comments, two zipped .wmvs and and two more collages in a little different style.

There has really been a great deal of misunderstanding circulated about this movie. First of all, it has become commonplace shorthand to refer to it as "that gay cowboy" movie. That's a total mischaracterization.

You see, they aren't cowboys. They're sheepboys.

That's really a major difference, when you think about it. I mean it would be major news to find a gay cowboy, but shepherds? Gay as a blade! A gay shepherd is no news at all. Hell, back in olden times, shepherds invented gayness. Think back to those ancient Greeks, romping through their Hellenic meadows in their white dresses and Birkenstocks, loving only two things in life - their sheep, and young boys.

Note the top five most important points of difference between cowboys and sheepboys:

  • Cowboys gamble. Shepherds gambol.
  • Cowboys drink around a campfire. Shepherds dance around a campfire.
  • Cowboys play the gee-tar while sitting down. Shepherds play the pan flute while frolicking merrily in the fields.
  • Cowboys are played in the movies by John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. Shepherds are played by Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Zamfir.
  • And the key difference: Cowboys smoke Marlboro. Shepherds smoke pole.

The first two minutes of Brokeback Mountain make it seem like a routine movie. The two stars don't talk much, but Randy Quaid delivers a bunch of expository dialogue, so the first scene probably consists of a few pages of written script. The next 28 minutes of the script, however, make it clear that the writers were not getting paid by the page. That portion of the screenplay probably consists of about four sentences like this: "The boys drive their sheep into some scenic, grassy valleys. The sheep graze. The boys watch silently and drink, accompanied by stirring 'wide open spaces' music."

Then we come to minute thirty when the boys actually become "homos on the range." I don't have any interest in watching two guys get it on, but that scene seemed like a relief after 28 minutes of sheep and valleys. At least something was happening, and I took it as a sign that the film would finally get on with the story.

Which it does. Eventually. After another five minutes of sheep and valleys.

Once the story does finally get moving, it generates a lot of emotional power. The fact that the doomed lovers are gay, the fact that their love story starts in 1963, and the fact that they are "cowboys" are all absolutely essential components to develop the central theme, which is something that nearly everyone over the age of 30 will understand. These two guys found something good when they were very young and, for the rest of their lives, no matter what successes they achieved, or what happiness they found, nothing was ever as good as being together. Yet there was nothing they could do about it.

If you stop and think about it, there are no other circumstances in which that theme could be developed with such emotional force. If they had any other problem besides being a male/male couple, they could have worked it out somehow - moved to a small town and started a modest life where they still had each other, or something like that - but being gay in 1963 certainly took away that option. If they had at least been urbane and educated types, they could have moved to San Francisco or Boston or Greenwich Village or ... um ... Gay Paree, and they might have formed a life among the simpatico, but these are the type of guys who would never have heard of Greenwich Village. The one guy had never been out of his home state of Wyoming. Moreover, they were typical cowboys in every other respect besides their sexual orientation. They didn't belong in Greenwich Village, not with straights or gays.

When the two men had their youthful winter together up on Brokeback Mountain, they were free to do whatever they wanted because they were completely isolated from human company. Back in the real world, the only choice they really had in life was to pretend to live "normal" lives while holding on to a small part of those youthful moments with occasional reunions on the mountain. There was obviously no way for them to start a life together as a gay cowboy couple, and even their reunions created the ever-present possibility that they might be caught. Indeed, one of their wives did figure it all out and turned her gay caballero (ovejero?) into a gay divorcee, but she seems to have loved her man enough to have kept his secret forever.

The one guy married a beautiful, smart, and rich woman, and became a highly successful salesman. The other guy had two daughters with a woman who really loved him and stuck by him through tough times, at least until she found out that he was as gay as the Nineties. They had the kinds of things that men hope for, yet they were not the kinds of thins they wanted. Nothing in those other lives could ever bring the lads the sense of ease and completeness that they found on the mountain with each other. So they did the best they could to hold on to their happiness together, until time did what it always does.

As a general rule, I find myself greatly disappointed by the second halves of movies. I find that movies build up my interest and charge energetically to a central point - after which they dissolve into trite formulaic resolutions, melodramatic twists, or events so improbable that they destroy the film's credibility. Brokeback Mountain moves in the opposite direction. To be honest, it is a real challenge to make it through the first 35 minutes, and I almost gave up on it, but it turns out that the script was just using Ali's old rope-a-dope strategy in the early rounds, and the late rounds finally deliver the emotional knockout.

 

 


Anne Hathaway

Anne Hathaway zipped mwv



Michelle Williams

Michelle Williams zipped mwv





Other Crap:

The level of file-sharing has remained the same for two years despite 20,000 legal cases in 17 countries.

The Lost Film of Terrence Malick - The American Revolution

Daily Box Office - Friday, January 20

  • Underworld Evolution opened as big as or even bigger than expected, amassing a gross greater than that of its next four rivals combined.
  • After weeks of hovering in the closet, Brokeback Mountain came out with a strong fourth place showing, and was within shouting distance of second.
  • End of the Spear finished in seventh, a few spots higher than expected.
  • King Kong disappeared from the top ten

The hot new kids' toy: Alabama Man

Headline of the day so far: "Camel Missing in Central Illinois"

Don't have a WIENERWHISTLE handy? No need to worry. You can learn to play the WIENERWHISTLE online!

  • After doing that I have a sudden urge to go see Brokeback Mountain

Pop bad girl Willa Ford to appear in next month's Playboy

Report: Disney Getting Hot And Heavy WIth Pixar

Letterman: Top Ten Questions On The Al Jazeera Anchor Application

VIDEO: This guy wraps up in tin foil and straps a load of fireworks to himself.

Skiing in Dubai!

USA Today: Keep these fine performances in mind

Snoop Dogg: Golfing with Lee Iococca

Cult indie filmmaker Abel Ferrara's next project will be a prequel to his 1990 crime thriller 'King of New York,' which starred Christopher Walken.

Bin Laden Truce Offer: Official White House Response to New Audio Tape Statement and Truce Offer From Osama bin Hussein (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

The Trailer from Down the Rabbit Hole

  • "What the Bleep!? - Down the Rabbit Hole" takes the ideas introduced in "What the Bleep Do We Know!?" and plunges the viewer deep into scientific findings that say reality is fluid and that we are an integral part of everything except the 1962 Mets.

A clip from Zozo

  • The story of an Arabic boy moving from Lebanon to Sweden.

A clip from Stephanie Daley

  • "Stephanie Daley" follows a forensic psychologist (Tilda Swinton) investigating a 17-year-old accused of infanticide.

The Trailer for Special

  • This looks like a truly weird film.
  • Les Franken (Michael Rapaport) leads a painfully unremarkable life as a metermaid until he enrolls in a drug study for an experimental anti-depressant. An unexpected side effect of the drug convinces Les he is developing special powers and must quit his job to answer his new calling in life... Superhero. A very select group of people in life are truly gifted. "Special" is a movie about everyone else.

The trailer for The Secret Life of Words

  • An isolated spot in the middle of the sea. An oil rig, where all the workers are men, on which there has been an accident. A solitary, mysterious woman who is trying to forget her past (Sarah Polley) is brought to the rig to look after a man (Tim Robbins) who has been temporarily blinded. A strange intimacy develops between them, a link full of secrets, truths, lies, humour and pain, from which neither of them will emerge unscathed and which will change their lives forever. A film about the weight of the past. About the sudden silence that is produced before a storm. About twenty-five million waves, a Spanish cook (Javier Cámara) and a goose. And, above all else, about the power of love even in the most terrible circumstances

A clip from Right at Your Door

  • A dirty bomb goes off in Los Angeles, jamming freeways and spreading a toxic cloud.

The teaser trailer for Moonshine, a micro-budget independent horror film.

  • In a working class Connecticut town, a young convenience store clerk's monotonous life is about to end. His boss holds herself over him, his parents spend their days in the house unemployed, and he moves back and forth, from work to home, fearful not to overstep. One night, in the cellar, lit by a dangling bulb, something emerges to take his life. A dark man creeps into the incandescent light. His wiry hair hides his glossy eyes, boney face, and a pair of fangs beneath his lips ...

An r-rated clip from Half Nelson

  • An inner-city junior high school teacher with a drug habit forms an unlikely friendship with one of his students after she discovers his secret.

Two new clips from Annapolis, the film that looks exactly the same as An Officer and a Gentleman.

The trailer for The Wendell Baker Story, a comedy starring the Wilson brothers.

A clip from The Night Listener, with Toni Collette and Robin Williams

  • "The Night Listener" is the story of a popular radio show host who, while trying to cope with a splintering romance, strikes up a telephone relationship with his biggest fan. When disturbing questions arise regarding the boy's identity, his life spins out of control."

Three clips from The Illusionist

  • The Illusionist is the story of a magician in turn-of-the-century Vienna who falls in love with a woman who becomes engaged to a prince. He then uses his powers to win her back and undermine the stability of the royal house of Vienna.
  • Good cast: Edward Norton, Jessica Biel, and Giamatti

A preview gallery for The Notorious Bettie Page

The trailer for Heart of Gold, a Jonathan Demme documentary about Neil Young

Paris Hilton's deposition. This is the best "dumb celebrity" story since Spicoli's sinking ship. Check this out ...

  • When questioned on the last name of a companion identified as Terry, who was with her on the night of the reported run-in with Graff, Hilton replied, "It is like a weird Greek name. Like, Douglas."
  • The opposing lawyer asked her if she was aware that the false item had made its way into "U.K. publications." "No," Hilton replied. "There is stuff in London."
  • Hilton now admits the slanderous story was a lie, but blames her publicist. When shown her own e-mail which linked her directly, Hilton has downplayed the credibility of her e-mail, stating, "Whatever I write in e-mail, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write."

Star Trek: New Voyages has announced several new additions, including original series writer David Gerrold and original series actor George Takei (Sulu).

  • One thing that caught my eye is that they are going to do a sequel to The Trouble With Tribbles

 

 


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

"Shining Through"

Shining Through (1992) has Melanie Griffith narrating her WW II experiences as a US spy in Germany to a BBC interviewer. Griffith is half-Irish and half German Jew, and was raised bilingual in New York. She was a film addict, and especially interested in any war films that were set in Germany. She takes a clerical job in a law firm, and ends up working for. and sleeping with, Michael Douglas as Ed Leland, who is really military, and a high ranking spy. She ends up being sent to Berlin to try and find the location of the factory building the buzz bomb. She also has a hidden agenda of rescuing two aunts and a cousin, all in hiding in Berlin.

I expected that Griffith would prove the perfect spy, but this was not the case. To the credit of the writers, she bungled nearly everything, which would be expected of someone with no training or experience. Half suspense thriller, and half love story, you have to like the Griffith Character and the Douglas character to enjoy the film. I did, but many didn't. In nearly swept the Razzies.

Griffith shows breasts in a very dark sex scene.

IMDb readers say 6.0, clearly indicating that I was not alone in finding it watchable. At 132 minutes, I felt it could have been tightened up a little, although I am not sure where cuts could have been made without damaging the narrative. The story is completely implausible, so you must be caught up in the characters to enjoy the story. It was beautifully photographed by the talented Jan de Bont. Women prefer it, but not enough to put it into chick flick range. This is not surprising given that it is a love story with a strong female character. I found it watchable. I do wonder about the narrative decision. The film would have had far more suspense, if we hadn't known from the opening scene that Griffith would survive. I enjoyed it. Griffith one me over in the first act, and I just relaxed and enjoyed it from there. This is a C. It is certainly bad history and bad logic, but I found it good entertainment.


Melanie Griffith




"A Change of Seasons"

A Change of Seasons (1980) is a very 70s story of a University professor who is sleeping with one of his students, Bo Derek. His wife, Shirley MacLaine, is not at first thrilled, but finds her own outlet in the person of a drifter who has been hired to do some carpentry work for them. She suggest that all four spend winter break at their ski lodge in Vermont. Life there is complicated by the arrival of their daughter, who has left Holyoke with her own relationship crisis, and Bo Derek's philandering father.

While the premise is rather dated, and talks about a pre AIDES and pre Herpes morality, I found it a complete delight, mostly due to Shirley MacLaine. Bo Derek was, as always, hired for eye candy, and showed breasts, and buns through a shower curtain, but gave her usual performance. Anthony Hopkins either played a total jerk brilliantly, or gave a terrible performance, Your choice. However, the film worked for me every moment MacLaine was on screen. The film features some of the worst music Henry Mancini ever composed.

IMDb readers say 5.0. Scores are pretty much even for men and women in all age groups. MacLaine is the only reason to watch this film. For me, that was enough. C-.


Bo Derek




 



Today we finally wrap up "Married People, Single Sex".

Teri Thompson is a cutie and gives it all up.


Teri Thompson


Then a quick visit to "Scary Movie" for a scene that just cracks me up. Carmen Electra chased by the killer in her bra & panties.

Then from a deleted scene Cheri Oteri in another funny scene as she is on top of a guy in a wheelchair in her short skirt and he tells her he can see her "Woofer".


Carmen Electra



Cheri Oteri




'Caps and comments by Dann:

"Lord of War"
2005 drama tells the story of Yuri Orlov, an immigrant who started selling guns in the early 1980's in the Little Odessa section of New York City. He rose to be one of the top international gunrunners of the 90's, and untold numbers of people died as a result of his work.

The film details the close relationship with his drug addict younger brother, his marriage to a famous model, and his business partnership with African warlords who used his products to kill countless numbers of innocent people. As his success grew, he struggled with inner demons about the morality of his work, but it didn't stop his work, nor the flow of guns.

An interesting if unpleasant film, it exposes many details about arms dealers who operate behind the scenes to supply the endless quest for war and death. Interestingly, according to the film's producers, the five biggest gunrunners in the world, who supply far more weapons than private arms dealers, are the governments of the U.S., U.K., Russia, France, and China, who are the world's biggest arms suppliers. Also interesting is the fact that those nations are also the five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council. In private business, that might be called a conflict of interest, but in the business of death, that's just business as usual.


Tanya Finch Annelene Terblanche



 

Scoops-
Here are a couple more gals who stripped and wiggled in Limousine Confidential. They are Candace Cardenelle and Isabella Camille, each of whom is a veteran clothing removal professional. Candace's form has a couple of after-market add-ons, whereas Isabella works with what the good lawd done gave her. Uh huh.

 

Candace Cardenelle
Isabella Camille

 

 

 



Monique Alexander is good looking by Hollywood standards. She is great looking by Pornoland standards. And so she does both. Monique has been a regular on Skinemax features and has done about fifty hardcore films. Most of those had her doing advanced lesbotronics. But in more recent days she has evolved into doing guys. Here she in something titled Wife Swappers, doing a guy.




Monique Alexander



'Caps and comments by Spaz:

"Dead Like Me"
From the season 2 DVD set...
Second season of the very funny dark comedy about the undead. But unfortunately as with the first season the only nudity is male.

For the main female cast:
Laura Harris nearly falls out her blouse in a few episodes.
Ellen Muth dresses down in "Rites of Passage"
Cynthia Stevenson shows some MILF cougar cleavage in "Ashes to Ashes"
and Jasmine Guy dolls up in the final episode "Haunted".

As for the guest stars: Lisa Caruk (very sexy in pink leotards), Katharine Horsman (ditto in blue leotards), Jacqueline Ann Steuart (upskirt in catfight), Sandra Steier (cleavage in catfight), Pascale Hutton (sexy in t-shirt), Nicki Clyne (cleavage as naughty babysitter), Meghan Black (very nice cleavage), Laura Mennell (sexy as goth girl), Wendy Glenn (sexy as rocker's girlfriend), Claudette Mink (bra-less in t-shirt), Allison Warnyca (mega cleavage as naughty stewardess), Aeja Goldsmith (skimpy t-shirt as newlywed), Emily Holmes (nice leg), Julie Patzwald (bra-less pokies in slip), Ingrid Torrance (mega cleavage as barmaid), Christie Laing (upskirt as cheerleader on your far left), Patti Vietta (sexy), April Telek (cleavage as Elvira), Julianne Christie (sexy in catsuit), and finally some unknowns (various uncredited guest stars).

Laura Harris Ellen Muth Cynthia Stevenson Jasmine Guy

Lisa Caruk Katharine Horsman Jacqueline Ann Steuart Sandra Steier

Pascale Hutton Nicki Clyne Meghan Black Laura Mennell

Wendy Glenn Claudette Mink Allison Warnyca Aeja Goldsmith

Emily Holmes Julie Patzwald Ingrid Torrance Christie Laing

Patti Vietta April Telek Julianne Christie unknowns




'Caps and comments by Oz:

Thursday is Australia Day, which is the day in 1788 that Captain Arthur Phillip, along with 717 convicts and 210 soldiers, first landed in what is now Sydney and raised the British flag. Nowadays, it's a good excuse for a public holiday. So, to commemorate the event, it's an all-Australian batch this time out.

"Hell Has Harbour Views"
The main nudity in Hell Has Harbour Views (2004) comes from Lisa McCune. Lisa is one of the cutest-looking women on Australian TV and started out in a supermarket advertisement. Marta Dusseldorp is naked but nothing is visible.

Lisa McCune Marta Dusseldorp


"Alexandra's Project"
Helen Buday is no spring chicken but she goes completely naked in Alexandra's Project. She is Alexandra and the quality is not the best because she is shown on a videotape she has left for her estranged husband.

Helen Buday


"Harbour Beat"
Harbour Beat (1990) seemed to be a good excuse to show topless bathers on Bondi Beach in Sydney. The main actress showing her breasts is Angie Milliken.

Angie Milliken Unknowns


"Undead"
No nudity in the horror film Undead (2002), but Felicity Mason is down to her underwear as she takes her clothes off in a car.

Felicity Mason


"The Big Steal"
The Big Steal (1990) was a good comedy film, worth the time taken to watch it. The nudity comes from an unknown stripper and a couple of topless mud wrestlers.

Assorted Babes


"Thank God He Met Lizzie"
Frances O'Connor is naked in Thank God He Met Lizzie (1997) but we only see a rear view. This movie was one of Cate Blanchett's early movies.

Frances O'Connor


"Freedom"
There's topless nudity in Freedom (1982) from Jad Capelja and Candy Raymond.

Jad Capelja Candy Raymond




From the movie that stole the South Park idea that all indie films are about gay cowboys eating pudding....Here is Anne Hathaway topless in "Brokeback Mountain".

Also from "Brokeback Mountain", ditto for Michelle Williams. Thanks to DeadRed for both collages.