Brokeback Mountain (2005)

I finally watched the damned thing. Here are my comments, two zipped .wmvs and and two more collages in a little different style.

There has really been a great deal of misunderstanding circulated about this movie. First of all, it has become commonplace shorthand to refer to it as "that gay cowboy" movie. That's a total mischaracterization.

You see, they aren't cowboys. They're sheepboys.

That's really a major difference, when you think about it. I mean it would be major news to find a gay cowboy, but shepherds? Gay as a blade! A gay shepherd is no news at all. Hell, back in olden times, shepherds invented gayness. Think back to those ancient Greeks, romping through their Hellenic meadows in their white dresses and Birkenstocks, loving only two things in life - their sheep, and young boys.

Note the top five most important points of difference between cowboys and sheepboys:

• Cowboys gamble. Shepherds gambol.
• Cowboys drink around a campfire. Shepherds dance around a campfire.
• Cowboys play the gee-tar while sitting down. Shepherds play the pan flute while frolicking merrily in the fields.
• Cowboys are played in the movies by John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. Shepherds are played by Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Zamfir.
• And the key difference: Cowboys smoke Marlboro. Shepherds smoke pole.

The first two minutes of Brokeback Mountain make it seem like a routine movie. The two stars don't talk much, but Randy Quaid delivers a bunch of expository dialogue, so the first scene probably consists of a few pages of written script. The next 28 minutes of the script, however, make it clear that the writers were not getting paid by the page. That portion of the screenplay probably consists of about four sentences like this: "The boys drive their sheep into some scenic, grassy valleys. The sheep graze. The boys watch silently and drink, accompanied by stirring 'wide open spaces' music."

Then we come to minute thirty when the boys actually become "homos on the range." I don't have any interest in watching two guys get it on, but that scene seemed like a relief after 28 minutes of sheep and valleys. At least something was happening, and I took it as a sign that the film would finally get on with the story.

Which it does. Eventually. After another five minutes of sheep and valleys.

Once the story does finally get moving, it generates a lot of emotional power. The fact that the doomed lovers are gay, the fact that their love story starts in 1963, and the fact that they are "cowboys" are all absolutely essential components to develop the central theme, which is something that nearly everyone over the age of 30 will understand. These two guys found something good when they were very young and, for the rest of their lives, no matter what successes they achieved, or what happiness they found, nothing was ever as good as being together. Yet there was nothing they could do about it.

If you stop and think about it, there are no other circumstances in which that theme could be developed with such emotional force. If they had any other problem besides being a male/male couple, they could have worked it out somehow - moved to a small town and started a modest life where they still had each other, or something like that - but being gay in 1963 certainly took away that option. If they had at least been urbane and educated types, they could have moved to San Francisco or Boston or Greenwich Village or ... um ... Gay Paree, and they might have formed a life among the simpatico, but these are the type of guys who would never have heard of Greenwich Village. The one guy had never been out of his home state of Wyoming. Moreover, they were typical cowboys in every other respect besides their sexual orientation. They didn't belong in Greenwich Village, not with straights or gays.

When the two men had their youthful winter together up on Brokeback Mountain, they were free to do whatever they wanted because they were completely isolated from human company. Back in the real world, the only choice they really had in life was to pretend to live "normal" lives while holding on to a small part of those youthful moments with occasional reunions on the mountain. There was obviously no way for them to start a life together as a gay cowboy couple, and even their reunions created the ever-present possibility that they might be caught. Indeed, one of their wives did figure it all out and turned her gay caballero (ovejero?) into a gay divorcee, but she seems to have loved her man enough to have kept his secret forever.

The one guy married a beautiful, smart, and rich woman, and became a highly successful salesman. The other guy had two daughters with a woman who really loved him and stuck by him through tough times, at least until she found out that he was as gay as the Nineties. They had the kinds of things that men hope for, yet they were not the kinds of thins they wanted. Nothing in those other lives could ever bring the lads the sense of ease and completeness that they found on the mountain with each other. So they did the best they could to hold on to their happiness together, until time did what it always does.

As a general rule, I find myself greatly disappointed by the second halves of movies. I find that movies build up my interest and charge energetically to a central point - after which they dissolve into trite formulaic resolutions, melodramatic twists, or events so improbable that they destroy the film's credibility. Brokeback Mountain moves in the opposite direction. To be honest, it is a real challenge to make it through the first 35 minutes, and I almost gave up on it, but it turns out that the script was just using Ali's old rope-a-dope strategy in the early rounds, and the late rounds finally deliver the emotional knockout.

 

 

Anne Hathaway Anne Hathaway zipped mwv Michelle Williams Michelle Williams zipped mwv

Other Crap:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

"Shining Through"

Shining Through (1992) has Melanie Griffith narrating her WW II experiences as a US spy in Germany to a BBC interviewer. Griffith is half-Irish and half German Jew, and was raised bilingual in New York. She was a film addict, and especially interested in any war films that were set in Germany. She takes a clerical job in a law firm, and ends up working for. and sleeping with, Michael Douglas as Ed Leland, who is really military, and a high ranking spy. She ends up being sent to Berlin to try and find the location of the factory building the buzz bomb. She also has a hidden agenda of rescuing two aunts and a cousin, all in hiding in Berlin.

I expected that Griffith would prove the perfect spy, but this was not the case. To the credit of the writers, she bungled nearly everything, which would be expected of someone with no training or experience. Half suspense thriller, and half love story, you have to like the Griffith Character and the Douglas character to enjoy the film. I did, but many didn't. In nearly swept the Razzies.

Griffith shows breasts in a very dark sex scene.

IMDb readers say 6.0, clearly indicating that I was not alone in finding it watchable. At 132 minutes, I felt it could have been tightened up a little, although I am not sure where cuts could have been made without damaging the narrative. The story is completely implausible, so you must be caught up in the characters to enjoy the story. It was beautifully photographed by the talented Jan de Bont. Women prefer it, but not enough to put it into chick flick range. This is not surprising given that it is a love story with a strong female character. I found it watchable. I do wonder about the narrative decision. The film would have had far more suspense, if we hadn't known from the opening scene that Griffith would survive. I enjoyed it. Griffith one me over in the first act, and I just relaxed and enjoyed it from there. This is a C. It is certainly bad history and bad logic, but I found it good entertainment.

Melanie Griffith

"A Change of Seasons"

A Change of Seasons (1980) is a very 70s story of a University professor who is sleeping with one of his students, Bo Derek. His wife, Shirley MacLaine, is not at first thrilled, but finds her own outlet in the person of a drifter who has been hired to do some carpentry work for them. She suggest that all four spend winter break at their ski lodge in Vermont. Life there is complicated by the arrival of their daughter, who has left Holyoke with her own relationship crisis, and Bo Derek's philandering father.

While the premise is rather dated, and talks about a pre AIDES and pre Herpes morality, I found it a complete delight, mostly due to Shirley MacLaine. Bo Derek was, as always, hired for eye candy, and showed breasts, and buns through a shower curtain, but gave her usual performance. Anthony Hopkins either played a total jerk brilliantly, or gave a terrible performance, Your choice. However, the film worked for me every moment MacLaine was on screen. The film features some of the worst music Henry Mancini ever composed.

IMDb readers say 5.0. Scores are pretty much even for men and women in all age groups. MacLaine is the only reason to watch this film. For me, that was enough. C-.

Bo Derek

Scoops-
Here are a couple more gals who stripped and wiggled in Limousine Confidential. They are Candace Cardenelle and Isabella Camille, each of whom is a veteran clothing removal professional. Candace's form has a couple of after-market add-ons, whereas Isabella works with what the good lawd done gave her. Uh huh.

Candace Cardenelle

Isabella Camille