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"The Pigkeeper's Daughter"

The Pigkeeper's Daughter (1972) is another Harry Novak dumb Hillbilly films, with the usual amount of near hard core nudity and sex. As a matter of fact, I included a few frames here and there that look a whole lot like the were doing more than acting. Think of the entire film as a farmer's daughter and traveling salesman joke. The nudity is great, and there are a few laughs. My favorite was the salesman meeting a man who had been robbed, stripped naked, had his hands tied to his ankles, and his car stolen. The salesman walks up behind him unzipping his pants, and says "This really isn't your lucky day."

The nudity is from one-time-wonders, and an unknown, who probably could be found in hard core films if you knew their other names. The women are Patty Smith, Gina Paluzzi, Terry Gibson and an unknown hitchhiker. All four show everything, including some gyno shots, and possible penetration. IMDB has 8 votes for a weighted score of 5.4 of 10, but 8 votes is not enough to base anything on. This is another top notch Something Weird Video release, and is on the same DVD with Sassy Sue. Another excellent genre example, so C+.

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  • Gina Paluzzi (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
  • Patty Smith (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29)
  • Terry Gibson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    "Animal Instinct II"

    Animal Instinct II, AKA Passion's Desire (1999) is a soft core without much nudity and even less sex. It does live up to the genre expectations in the acting and plot categories. The story centers around a publishing agent. He is in a relationship with a woman who cheats, lives with his best friend since High School, who has convinced him that she is a lesbian so he would let her move in, and is trying to sign an ex girlfriend, who has written a best seller about the end of their relationship. All three want him.

    The girl friend, Angela Monroe, shows breasts and buns.
    The best friend, Amy Lindsay shows breasts in two bath scenes and a lovemaking scene at the end.
    Lisa Comshaw as the author shows buns, and bras.
    Ahmo Hight shows breasts and buns, playing a woman who is competing with our hero and trying to steal his accounts.

    IMDB readers say 4.0 of 10, and that might be generous. The lighting is good, but they overdid the score and the camera effects, and there was more than the usual amount of motion blur. D+.

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  • Ahmo Hight (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Amy Lindsay (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Angela Monroe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Lisa Comshaw (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    What a day for the team up above! Charlie wins the best actor for Spin City. Jennifer wins best supporting actress for A Beautiful Mind. Zsa Zsa lives another day.

    Other Golden Globe winners:

    • A Beautiful Mind: Best Picture - Drama, Best Dramatic Actor (Crowe), Best Supporting Actress (Connelly), Best Screenplay
    • Moulin Rouge: Best Picture - Comedy, Best Original Score, Best Comedy Actress (Kidman)
    • In the Bedroom: Best Dramatic Actress (Spacek)
    • Iris: Best Supporting Actor (Broadbent)
    • Gosford Park: Best Director (Altman)
    • The Royal Tenenbaums: Best Comic Actor (Gene Hackman)
    • Kate & Leopold: Best Original Song
    • No Man's Land: Best Foreign Language Film. I gathered that this was a surprise winner over Amelie.

    Mulholland Drive, the latest from the odder-than-thou genre of David Lynch, was nominated for a Golden Globe as best Dramatic Picture, but lost to A Beautiful Mind. But we listed it here because we have pictures of Naomi Watts and Laura Harring.

    See pictures of Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge in the Dec 14th and Dec15th editions. See pictures of Kate Winslet in Iris in the January 16th edition.

    Bonus goodies...



    Updated encyclopedia volumes: Elodie Bouchez, Greta Scacchi, Sophie Marceau, Elizabeth Hurley



    I swear you can find all human knowledge on the internet. Want to know the 20 most popular baby names in the USA in 1880? 2001? Any year in between? Here you go. I was curious because all of my 15 year old daughter's friends are named Brittany or Ashley. Sure enough, those names were on the most-popular list for 1987.

    As for my personal list, they didn't need #2 through #10. Everyone born in Poland was named Stan every year.




    The following are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Scoopy Jr.
    "Tell Me No Lies" aka "The Midnight Hour" (2000)

    Even by Skinemax standards...this movie sinks to all new depths. Or as my grandfather would say "all new lowths" (lows, pronounced 'lotes').

    Plot...there was one? Well sorta. Basically you have a hot talk radio DJ (Amber Smith), a good guy, and a psycho, call-in stalker. However, this time the psycho isn't really after the hot DJ. Let me explain....

    The good guy is Amber's boss at the radio station, as well as her lover, and the former lover of Amber's dead sister. Early on we learn the identity of the killer and we learn that he is the good guy's half brother. Psycho killer terrorizes Amber with phone calls, eventually does start stalking, and of course later nabs her for the inevitable final showdown. BUT...all of this is really intended to hurt the good guy! How? Well ya kinda got me on that one. But during the final showdown, we discover that the psycho is really out to take away everything from his half brother. Why? Because 'good guy's mom was a whore, got pregnant with the good guy and made psycho's daddy leave his mommy for a new family'.

    So you see, even though Amber was the Hot talk radio DJ that the movie is based around, as well as the star...In reality, her character was no more important than the bimbo that dies in the first 5 minutes because the stalker was just out to hurt the brother!

    I think this is where Jack Palance would say "Believe it, or Not".

    There are so many things wrong with this movie that it's amazing. Like...

    • Amber playing a college co-ed. Don't get me wrong, Amber looks great, but she's clearly not 21!
    • The roomie (or is she a neighbor? I can't tell) that never wears pants. In every one of her scenes she is only wearing panties below the equator
    • Amber's sister is murdered, but at no point is there any grieving, even though Amber seems to show up within a day or two of the murder.
    • Tension between two cops in the opening scene, but one completely disappears after the first 15 minutes.
    • They reveal the killer in the very first scene.
    • The remaining cop doesn't have a desk at a station, only the front seat of his car where he listens to Amber's broadcasts. By the way, listening to the radio constitutes the entire spectrum of his investigative techniques. Well that, having sex in the hot tub with a busty bimbo, and wearing a cowboy hat.
    • There's a murder at the radio station....We see Amber and her man run out in fear. Where do they go for the next scene?.....The hot tub!
    • It looks like every scene was shot in some dude's house.
    • The list goes on and on.

    In all fairness, Amber was not bad. The rest of the cast and the director however....Well if I may be so bold as to borrow from two of the great minds of my generation, Beavis and Butthead...the rest of the people involved with this movie "sucked more than anything has ever sucked before".

    The nudity...there's plenty of it. The only downside the love scenes are completely dull and they loop footage! They basically shot about a minute or two of goodies for each scene and replayed it 3-5 times in a row. Plus the director only showed breasts. He never filmed anything else, not even a bum! And forget about pseudo sex, not even a little in this flick!

    Seriously, this movie is horrible, but Amber did OK and looked really good, so don't hold it against her. Plus the movie looks good. Probably shot on digital video, but the DVD looks better than many of the theatrical releases I've seen on DVD. Also, much of the nudity is well lit.

    Scoop's review of this one is great. Click here to check it out

    Now about the 'caps...I had no time to really work on these today. With a very little bit of tweaking, someone could probably make some good collages out of these. All I did was enlarge them a tad.


    For today's "Hankster Lite" we have Jane March in that 1994 turkey "Color of Night". Here she is sexing it up with Bruce Willis. Breasts in every image, plus a bit of bum in $4.

    The "Babe in Bondage" for the day is Keri Downs being manhandled in a ZFX bondage flick "Gangland".

    • Keri Downs, topless and frontal nudity. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)