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"Le Magnifique"

Le Magnifique (1973) is a French "James Bond" spy film staring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jacqueline Bisset. The first 40 minutes were outstanding, with Belmondo so skillful that he shoots 8 people out of a palm tree with one shot, shoots 30 or 40 bad guys with a semi-automatic, spots assassins in costume from miles away, and many amazing things as well. For instnce, someone throws a grenade at him at the airport. He picks up a tennis racket from a luggage cart, and slams it back at the attacker. The attacker uses a nine iron to fire it back, and Belmondo returns volley for game, set and match. His partner, Tatiana, played by Bisset, is his equal, and there is obviously passion between them.

It is at this point that we learn Belmondo is really a pulp novel author, and we have been living his latest book. Bisset is his neighbor, Christine, who he often watches through his window. As the two become acquainted, Belmondo's story reflects the state of their relationship. While the film continues to switch between real life and fantasy, the fantasy portions don't live up to the first act of the film. Bisset showed lots of cleavage, but had everything covered in the only nude scene. However, since it was Jacqueline Bisset, I made images anyway.

IMDB readers say 7.3 of 10, with is very high for a foreign language comedy. There are no reviews available. The transfer is very nice, and the subtitles are good. I give the first third of the film a B, and the last 2/3 a C, for an overall grade of C+. Even if you don't like comedy, spy parodies, or French language films, you may want to risk a rental on this one.

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  • Jacqueline Bisset (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    "Picasso Trigger"

    Picasso Trigger (1988) is the second of the 12 Andy Sidaris films due to be released on DVD. For those that don't remember, the Sidaris formula is bombs, bullets and blondes (or is that breasts?), with lots of exposure, pretty locations, mainly bunny girls, and lots of clever toys. The plot is never the focus, but the plot here is more muddled than usual. A Double agent is apparently assassinated, and US government agents are the target of a hot squad.

    As for nudity, there was plenty.

    Julie Strain shows her breasts talking with Sidaris before the film even starts. Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton have lengthy nude scenes where they show breasts and buns. Roberta Vasquez shows nothing but cleavage and a lot of leg. Cynthia Brimhall shows breasts Kym Malin and Patty Duffek shows breasts and buns.

    Based on the first two, I look forward to all 12 films in this series. Great cinema? No. Great entertainment, definitely.

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  • Cynthia Brimhall (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Dona Speir (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Hope Marie Carlton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Julie Strain (1, 2, 3)
  • Kym Malin (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Patty Duffek (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Roberta Vasquez (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    IMDB (quoted section in yellow) reports that today's guest star, Julia Roberts' brother, Eric Roberts, has lashed out at his little sister for failing to support him in his times of need. The 46-year-old actor has slipped from the limelight in recent years, despite having earned an Oscar-nomination for Runaway Train in 1985. But he says Julia - who made one of her first movie appearances in Eric's 1988 starring vehicle Blood Red has been of no help to him in recent years. And the embittered actor even goes as far as to say his Oscar- winning sister can't act! He says, "I helped Julia but she has never helped me. Everyone's going on about how great she was in Erin Brockovich but what did she actually do? Wear some push-up bras. It wasn't great acting. Hollywood has never embraced me. Part of that is my fault because of my behavior in the past, but Julia could have helped me. When she's been in a situation to help, she wanted nothing to do with me."


    The Red Violin is one of my favorite movies of the last decade, and a strong contender for the best original script during that period. Without thinking it through all the way, I'm thinking it's maybe the best Canadian movie based on an original screenplay. The Sweet Hereafter is a tough competitor for the #1 spot overall, but that screenplay was adapted from a novel by Russell Banks. IMDb lists those two films #1 and #2 when I sort Canadian movies by IMDb score, with other strong contenders being Exotica, Glenn Gould, Last Night, The Five Senses, and Jesus of Montreal. Don McKellar, who could probably walk through the States unrecognized,  wrote three of those movies, and starred in a fourth.

    Oh, wait, I forgot Strange Brew.

    To be serious for a second, The Red Violin seamlessly winds together multiple time periods into a sweeping story that is a chilling mystery as well as an aesthetic experience. It is interesting to watch, but it is also an intelligent essay on how different cultures and historical periods place a different value on beauty, or measure it differently.

    • More important than that, Greta Scacchi got naked. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Warm Blooded Killers. Tuna and I gave two thumbs up to this unknown comedy about a brother/sister crew of salty-tongued professional killers. The film manages to give its characters surprising warmth and depth. Honest, this movie is a lot of fun, and actually sorta sweet. Tuna and I liked it better than most theatrical releases, although it could never escape film festival purgatory.

    • Doria Valenzuela (1, 2)

    White House Madness. How bad is this 1975 cult classic? Well, you'd have to do a pretty bad job to get me to tell you that I hated your movie which ridiculed Dick Nixon. But these lads were up to the task. Male nudity only. One of the very few screen moments where a real American president is portrayed naked on screen. (Let's just say it lends new meaning to the phrase Tricky Dick)


    The following are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Scoop, All "Hankster Lite" stuff today. Begining with Frances Raines in 1986's schlockfest "Breeders". Horrible movie, but gobs of nudity.
    • Frances Raines breasts and bum in almost every picture, plus pubes in links 8 and 9.
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Next up, from "Dr.T & the Women"

    • Farrah Fawcett gets nekkid in the water fountain. (1, 2, 3)

    • Helen Hunt, wet shirt pokies, and far off nudity. (1, 2, 3)

    Laurie Holden (Marita Covarrubias of the X-Files) prancing around in her underwear was the only reason for watching the Canadian television series "Destiny Ridge".

    Nancy Sakovich Wearing a tight t-shirt was another reason.

    Megan Leitch Best known as Samantha Mulder from the X-Files, wearing very little in an episode of "Welcome to Paradox".

    Rachel York Shows some partial breast in "Terror Tract" (2000).

    Brittany Murphy Cleavage 'caps from the movie "Cherry Falls" (2000).

    Monique Derix A very brief topless scene in "Taken" (1999).

    Jessie Foo Also topless in "Taken" (1999).

    Annie McAuley Shaking her booty in "Head Office" (1985).

    Karen Grosso Distant nude lovemaking scene taken from a surveillance camera in "Up Against Amanda" (2000). Don't see much, but hope she shows more in the future.

    Jennifer Clement Showing some mega-cleavage while gettin' it on in a bathroom stall from "Waydowntown" (2000).

    Karlene Crockett Topless and nude as witch in "Eyes of Fire" (1983).

    Mr. Skin
    Thanks to the Skin team for serving up some more info on "Inferno"


    "Inferno" was in fact a feature film we are told made for Asian (Probably Japanese) TV in 1992. It also aired on British TV later. It's about a young guy who travels across Europe and randomly encounters a assortment of gorgeous women (All played by supermodels) It has never been on video, it's quite a rare little number so it's not the best quality as you already now..

    Yesterday we ran Kate Moss topless. In the 1/18/02 issue we posted images of Shana Zadrick showing all 3 B's. Today we have....

    Lisa Arturo
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Vidcaps by The Goose From "American Pie 2". #1 shows her topless, links 2-4 are thong views.

    Emma Suárez
    (1, 2)

    The Spanish actress bares her breasts and bum in scenes from "La Ardilla roja" (1993). Vidcaps by Devo.

    Aitana Sánchez-Gijón
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    New topless and rear nude images by Turtle from the region 2 DVD of "Celos" ("Jealosy") (1999).

    Sandy Dempsey
    (1, 2, 3)


    Tuna's post of "A scream in the Streets" in the 1/18/02 edition has an unknown no longer! The short haired brunette that is getting her rug munched is Sandy Dempsey. She was a background favorite and orgy favorite in many of the early 70's sleazerama productions, and just like Sharon Kelly and Rene Bond she also made the move to adult movies. Here are some hardcore caps from one of my favorite ones, "Swinging Genie".



    Heike Makatsch The German actress in a topless love scene from "Die "Affäre Semmeling" (2001). Vidcaps by Swede

    Isabell Gerschke Rear nudity from "Warten ist der Tod" (1999).

    Alexandra Maria Lara Another look at her topless scenes from "Fisimatenten" (2000).

    Madonna From back in the day when she wasn't British. Here she is showing some cleavage, and bending all the way over to show off a great thong view in scenes from "Blue in the Face". Thanks to Watty for the 'caps.

    Fun House Feedback

    For those members of the Funhouse who may not be aware of it, Anne Lockhart (shown in the Graphic Response Saturday caps from Joyride) is the daughter of June Lockhart (Lassie, Lost in Space fame) and needless to say, she got her mom's great breast genes.

    This movie is memorable for featuring the four leads in the film being the sons and daughters of famous Hollywood actors - Desi Arnaz Jr (father Desi Sr.), Robert Carradine (father John), Anne Lockhart (mother June) and Melanie Griffith (mother Tippi Hedren).. Sort of a brat pack of their day.


    The Funnies by Number 6
  • New Liquor Labels
    Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

  • Celeb News

    Just found this on the net....Niki Taylor is suing Glamour UK for taking nude pics of her.

    She claims that she was manipulated to have photographs taken of her nude and of her bodily scarring sustained in the accident. Personally I think that if they tricked her into showing her scars, the judge should throw the book (with a brick inside) at them. But after so many years as a top model is she really going to be tricked into posing nude? Especially now?

    Here are the details