Raven (1997) is an espionage action thriller staring Burt Reynolds as "Raven," a CIA operative who leads Raven Team, which includes Matt Battaglia. As the film opens, they are in Bosnia, whipping out a military installation and stealing a two piece Russian made decoder so their CIA bosses can sell it to a rich Iranian. All but Reynolds and Battaglia are killed, and Reynolds shoots Battaglia on the way home after they argue about whether or not to turn the two part decoder over to their CIA bosses, or sell it on the black market. Battaglia falls out of the helicopter, and Reynolds crashes into a lake.

Cut to a year in the future. Battaglia is living in San Diego, working as a boat mechanic in a marina, and living with Krista Allen, whom he plans on marrying. Reynolds is still trying to get Battaglia's half of the decoder, and the CIA and several crooked senators are trying to obtain it and turn it over to the Iranian. Lots of fighting and demolition follow, four breasts (two from Krista Allen, two from Lauren Hays), and there is exactly one great line, "Hey, they are CIA. They have a black belt in bullshit."

IMDb readers have this at 4.0 of 10. That is about all it is worth. The story is rater predictable and cliche ridden. I am a fan of Reynolds, but he showed me nothing here. D+, not quite genre minimum standard.

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  • Krista Allen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Lauren Hays (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Pretty Maids All in a Row (1971):

    Pretty Maids is an all-but-forgotten 1971 black comedy which was written by Star Trek's creator, Gene Roddenberry, directed by Eurotrash legend Roger Vadim, with a theme song by the Osmond Brothers.

    It sort of hinges on the premise that all of our high school fantasies were true. All the chicks had perfect bodies, ran around in mini-skirts, and had sexual habits that made minks look like the Sisters of St Joseph. Remember that sexy teacher whose dress you looked up every day? Well, she really wanted to sleep with you, but you just never asked. Remember that wise coach who was also your guidance counselor and who taught you so much? You should have told him you needed some poontang. He'd have been there for you, dude. He would have told the hot teacher (who wanted his bod) that you were impotent and needed the cure, and that only she could help. And then she would have cleaned your pipes.

    Rock Hudson plays the coach, “Tiger” McDrew, a former professional sporting great who has a wholesome recipe to turn youths into happy adults. For the boys - plenty of sports to keep them away from disruptive influence like girls and drugs and did I mention girls. For the girls - well, there's only one way that they can ever learn to be women, if you catch my drift. Ol' Dr Hudson has the prescription of love. Yes, that's right, Rock was sleeping with the females and pimping females for the males. He was really into that whole heterosexual thing. Unfortunately, more and more of the high school chickadees start to feel possessive about Rock, and their desire to hook him seems to coincide quite closely to their commitment to an eternal Dirt Nap.

    Why, whoever could be killing them all? Well, Rock is happily married, and he just can't have his wife find out about his special proclivities, can he?

    It is a completely irresponsible movie, filled with amoral characters, other characters who know about the amorality but don't care, and other characters who simply don't care - period. It features plenty of camera angles up the skirts of high school girls, except of course for the ones who are already naked. I suppose a film like this could be made today, but only as a no-budget independent film, almost an underground film, by someone like Larry Clark. Clark's film Ken Park is similar in some ways, but Ken Park was virtually unreleased. In the early 70s, however, this script was able to attract the wholesome Rock Hudson to star, backed up by Telly Savalas, Scotty from Star Trek, Roddy McDowell, Angie Dickinson, and Keenan Wynn.

    I guess the film is sort of fun in a shallow, superficial Roger Vadim kind of way, although Vadim's slimy European softcore attitude didn't exactly mesh very well with the wholesome "palm trees and cheerleaders" setting, and the humor really didn't work for me, neither in 1971 nor now. The film's smirking condescension toward the dead women was coldly funny, and still is, as a satire of how little people really care for one another. But this film will absolutely make you squirm when you experience it with today's eyes and ears. Women found naked and brutalized? The perfect setup for plenty of cavalier remarks (“Cool! We never practice on the day of a murder”) and visual jokes. Roddy McDowell, the principal, offers a fitting funeral oration, that so-and-so was a great girl and a "terrific little cheerleader".

    I'm embarrassed to admit that when I first saw this film with my friends, back when it was in the theaters, some of us were wont to repeat the line about "a terrific little cheerleader" when we discussed people who died tragically.

    "Yeah, remember Bobby Kennedy? Geez, he was a great man ... and a terrific little cheerleader."

    We did this for years, so I guess the film made some kind of an impression on us.



    I didn't have as much success with this VHS tape as some of the others I've tried to convert, but here's the goodies anyway.

    • Angie Dickinson showed her butt. There is a brief flash of her breasts, and even a frame or two of pubes as she rolls over. (1, 2, 3)
    • Joy Bang showed her breasts during and after a sex scene with Hudson
    • Gretchen Burrell showed her breasts and a brief, dark flash of her crotch. She never appeared in any other movie before or after this one.
    • Aimee Eccles showed the top half of her butt while sitting naked on a desk
    • June Fairchild showed her breasts and pubes as she was taking a Polaroid of herself. The gorgeous Ms Fairchild disappeared from the movies around 1978. She turned up homeless and presumed alcoholic around 2001.
    • an anonymous pretty maid took off her dress in Hudson's office


    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Hi, Scoop

    In your Monday review of "Who's Your Daddy?"...  the "don't know who she is but she certainly has awesome gonzagas" girl is heffer Carrie Stevens. Keep up your super work. My daily visits to your site make my day.


    Scoop's reply: I knew one of you guys would know her! Thanks.




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    "Last Tango in Paris" (1972)

    This film doesn't need much introduction. Here are the most revealing parts from "Last Tango in Paris" featuring Maria Schneider and Marlon Brando. Today we've got the first four out of ten clips. The other six will be featured on Thursday's and Friday's Fun House.


    Cast Your Vote!
    Let the voting begin!

    We're looking for the best film as well as screen nudity debut (both in the same film) by an actress between 1980-1989.

    Email Scoopy Jr. if you have any comments or suggestions.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1983 movie "Breathless", starring Richard Gere and Valérie Kaprisky.

    Kaprisky is topless in almost all of these 'caps. We see some rear nudity in links 6, 19 and 20. in #17 there is also a full frontal view.

    In the vids we have plenty of toplessness again, plus rear nudity in #2 and #5. In clip #3 we see brief pubes in #3 and a full frontal view in #4.

    More Golden Globes highlights
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    • Evangeline Lilly, the "Lost" star showing a little red carpet cleavage. (1, 2)

    • Mariska Hargitay the "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" star looking very lovely backstage. Hargitay took home the Golden Globe for the 'Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama' category. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Teri Hatcher
    (1, 2, 3)

    Eva Longoria
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Some excellent HDTV 'caps from Sunday night's episode of "Desperate Housewives". Hatcher is wearing a soaking wet t-shirt while Longoria shows a little cleavage in two different scenes.

    Teri Polo
    (1, 2)

    The co-star of the surprisingly huge hit "Meet the Fockers" showing a lot of leg on Monday night's Letterman.

    Kim Cattrall
    (1, 2, 3)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Cattrall doing her thing as "Samantha" on "Sex and the City". Im #1 we see a bit of nipple. In links 2 and 3 she's fully nude while riding a dude.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    But Can Homer Get It Back Up? - Dove is launching a series of unusual celebrity hair care product ads in magazines. They feature famous cartoon women with bad hair, made over to show how they'd look with "beautiful styles that move naturally." The ads will feature Marge Simpson letting down her blue beehive, as well as Wilma Flintstone, Jane Jetson and Velma from "Scooby-Doo."

  • Velma's new 'do makes her look just like Rosie O'Donnell.
  • They will never able to cure Little Orphan Annie of the frizzies.
  • Their hairdos aren't bad...they're just drawn that way.
  • Call me when Betty Rubble appears in Playboy.

    Cracking Up - To show how paranoid broadcasters have become over the FCC, the Fox Network recently blurred the naked butt of a cartoon character to avoid an indecency fine. Even more ridiculous, it was an episode of "The Family Guy" that had already aired without blurring five years ago. A spokesman said, "We have to be checking and second-guessing ourselves now," and it's difficult knowing how far they have to go.

  • "Simpsons" reruns are going to be one big blur.
  • The FCC may shut them down for still airing "Family Guy" at all.
  • It's not even real, it's just a cartoonish caricature of a body part! But then, so was Janet Jackson's breast...

    Why Freshmen Girls Gain Weight - Kate Stelnick, 19, a 100-pound student at the College of New Jersey, won the first Denny's Beer Barrel Pub challenge in Clearfield, Pennsylvania, by eating Ye Old 96er, the pub's six-pound hamburger. It also comes with five pounds of fixin's. It took her two hours, 54 minutes to finish it. She said, "I just saw it on TV, and I really thought I could do it."

  • But then, her dorm room TV has a 9-inch screen.
  • If she's that influenced by TV, don't ever let her watch "Desperate Housewives."
  • She didn't have to eat five pounds of fixin's, but hey, who wants a naked hamburger?
  • Because she finished it, the burger was free, but the heart attack cost her $40,000.