Forever Evil (1987) is one of the worst films I have ever seen, but it is a must watch. Here is what you do. Play the first 20 minutes, just to confirm for yourself how bad it really is, then start over and turn on the commentary track. Writer Freeman Williams begins, "Hi, I'm Freeman Williams, and I wrote this mess." That sets the tone for the entire commentary, and they advise taking a drink for every lit cigarette, POV scare shot and phantom unexplained dog. They even remind you when it is time. If you play the game, the extended directors cut should entertain the entire party for two or three nights, as everyone will pass out long before it is over.
Standard set-up. Three couples are spending the weekend at a cabin on a lake. And evil zombie kills all but one. When the one escapes, he stands in the middle of a highway, until an obliging motorist runs him over. So much for the pre credit scenes. He wakes up in the hospital. He then joins with a woman who also lost a bunch of friends the same way, and they team up to figure out what is causing all of the evil. I am still not sure I have the answer, but it involved an ancient God, a pulsing quasar, a zombie and a real estate agent.
The only nudity was in the opening scene where Diane Johnson takes a shower and is murdered. She shows breasts and buns. IMDb readers have this at 3.2 of 10. Two of those who commented got it, and loved laughing at it. And get this, they were talking about the shorter video release. This DVD set includes that original VHS release, and a brand new extended Directors cut. Gather some friends, buy a keg or two, and play the Forever Evil drinking game. This is actually an E+, but, as a "make fun of in a group film," it is nearly unparalleled.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Tropic of Cancer (1970):
Henry Miller has a rare combination of professions: he was a
pornographer and a sensitive poet. He is the modern Catullus, his
poetry avoiding romance and "lovemaking" in order to examine the
joys of flat-out fucking. In order to appreciate Miller's style, it
is essential to get a feel for the extraordinary juxtaposition of
his elegant, heartfelt prose with the profane nature of his subject
matter. It's not easy to capture all of that in a film. The sexy
part is fairly easy, but mixing it with the sensitive observations
is no small hurdle to leap. This movie had difficulty synthesizing
this sense of sacred and profane in harmony. It tried to evoke its
literary roots, now with a Rip Torn voice-over consisting of
Miller's actual prose, then with some poetic shots of the beauty of
Paris, but it never really seemed to succeed.
A second great weakness of the film is that the script could never
find anything to focus on. The story we see is a string of
vignettes, and the separate episodes don't really seem to lead
anywhere. Many scenes seem to concentrate on minor characters for
much too long, and without apparent purpose. A picaresque effort
like this can succeed, but it has to draw its impact from great
individual scenes and the charm of characterization. This film has
some of that, but not enough to make it really involving. The whole
project gives off a vibe that somebody said "let's make a film of
Tropic of Cancer" without actually feeling any passion for why they
wanted to do that.
On the other hand, some of the locales are accurately evocative, and
Torn is reasonably credible in the lead. It was certainly
interesting to see the Ripper so young and so handsome, and to see
multiple Oscar nominee Ellen Burstyn in such a flagrant display of
The late 60s and early 70s were a time when filmmakers were
casting off their yokes and flexing their muscles in terms of
explicit sexuality. This film was extraordinarily daring for an
American film of the era. There is no penetration, nor even any
penises to be seen, but the film supplies plenty of female frontal
nudity, is fairly explicit in the sexual scenes, and is extremely
explicit in its use of language. Today, even 35 years after this
film was made, it is rare to hear the word "cunt" in an American
film, but you'll hear it repeated frequently and rhapsodically in
Tropic of Cancer.
You could watch this film and not feel you've wasted your time, but
be advised that you won't feel much rewarded, either.
Following Brainscan's lead, I am continuing to make VHS caps made
from some of my old tapes, using more sophisticated capturing
techniques than we had a few years ago. They are coming out
Ellen Burstyn. (1,
I suppose you know she has been
nominated for six Oscars, and won one for Alice Doesn't Live Here
Any More. All of those more modest roles came after her total
frontal nudity in this movie. She also did some topless nudity
in The Ambassador and The King of Marvin Gardens, but would never
again show her pubes after Tropic of Cancer. Too bad she got so
conservative, because she looks mighty good naked. Those of you
younger guys who saw in Requiem for a Dream probably can't imagine
just how damned sexy she was.
Ellen Burstyn movie clip (no sound)
assorted minor characters and extras (1,
Airbus to unveil an 800 passenger jet!
Many extortionists are targeting net-based betting firms and
threatening to cripple their websites with deluges of data unless
a ransom is paid.
Former 70s beauty queen and Charlie's Angels star Farrah Fawcett
shocked onlookers at an MTV bash in California with her sunken
eyes and cheekbones. (With scary picture)
Kate Stelnick, 19, of Princeton, N.J., who weighs just 100 pounds,
on Wednesday became the first person to eat a six-pound hamburger
- and five pounds of fixins - within three hours. At
last, a woman for me.
Promised Land Paintball Park. "America's Best Christian
Paintball Park" is even competitive with some of the Buddhist and
- Nostalgic commercials.
N-E-S-T-L-E-S, Nestle's makes the very best ..............
A FORMER friend of Nicolette Sheridan is trying to sell nude
photos of the 'Desperate Housewives' hottie to the highest bidder.
10 Things I Learned From Working at Quizno's Subs
- Everyone loves stupid crook stories!
Robber Moves Fake Camera, Caught On Real One
National Lampoon's look back at ... 2005.
An Illinois man and his girlfriend rack up $1400 in speeding
tickets in Wisconsin - in 3 hours.
A Presbyterian minister collapsed and died in mid-sentence of a
sermon after saying 'And when I go to heaven' ...
- These are great!!!
The winners of the "I Look Like My Dog" contest
If you are into Auto Shows, here's the one from L.A.
The eleven worst songs of 2004.
Did The Surreal Life 4 show Adrianne Curry's genitals?
Stalin World ... an unlikely theme park provoking
laughter and outrage in Lithuania. “It combines the charms of a
Disneyland with the worst of the Soviet gulag prison camp,”
Mr. Blackwell's 45th Annual Worst Dressed List 2004
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! Herbie is back and he's "Fully Loaded".
- Odd, but strangely compelling, department ...
The top five depressed superheroes.
Farrah Fawcett Gets Her Own Reality TV Show. WTF??
"Cameras are following Fawcett around as she shops, does her
painting, goes to celebrity events and plays at the beach." Now
Minnesota Town Hits 54 Below Zero. That was the high,
and they took off their shirts. The low however, was kind of
The Implicit Association Test is a new instrument
developed at Harvard which may be able to tap into your
subconscious prejudices. By measuring one's reaction time and the
number of mistakes made when attempting to associate a certain
group with positive or negative characteristics, the test purports
to measure the extent of our biases.
JoBlo.com looks at the Globes in pictures
Jennifer Aniston has moved in with her hairdresser.
(He's the guy who invented the Rachel look.)
US comedienne Ellen DeGeneres has made her first public appearance
with new lover Portia de Rossi.
Five clips from Assault on Precinct 13.
One guy is already in line for "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge
of the Sith"
The BAFTA (British Academy Awards) Nominees have been announced.
Jamie Foxx and Kate Winslet have been nominated for two apiece.
The British are much more impressed with Eternal Sunshine than the
Americans, much less impressed with Sideways.
Forget the awards - who had the funniest lines at the Golden
Globes? "Lisa Ling asked Johnny Depp during NBC's
pre-show if there was a role he always has dreamed of playing.
Depp's reply: Mae West."
The Broadcast Film Critics Association picks Sideways and
Americans' Satisfaction With Aspects of Life in the U.S..
- Satisfaction with certain elements of life -- such as
crime-related issues, the amount paid in federal income taxes,
and race relations -- has improved. But a number of broad
measures have deteriorated -- particularly those relating to the
Two private US companies have designs on building the first luxury
recreational vehicle that could withstand nuclear radiation.
Globes Tip Oscar Watchers to Three-Way Race. The author
feels that it now boils down to The Aviator, Sideways, and Million
- URL says it all again:
- URL says it all:
New Batman pictures.
Teri Polo looks pretty darned good without her clothes.
Pamela Anderson says she regrets turning down a role in Desperate
Housewives. She was offered the role Hatcher ended up
Nicole Kidman to work for minimum wage. No, she is not
giving up acting to work at Wal-Mart. "Nicole Kidman will be paid
just 570 dollars-a-week to star in her next film. She is accepting
the Australian minimum wage to appear alongside Russell Crowe in
Eucalyptus, in a bid to help the country's movie industry."
- Do you have a problem with that whole pesky literacy thing?
Become a headline writer!
"Cameron Diaz will reportedly get married to Justin Timberlake
wearing a Native American dress." Groucho's next line:
"How Timberlake will fit in that dress, I'll never know"
The Weekend Update highlights from the Robert DeNiro SNL show on
The Weekend Update highlights for the Topher Grace show on
FilmJerk.com v4.0 - The Early Report for January 16, 2005
UK approves 24 hour pubs.
MovieJuice - Carvin' Elektra
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
"In einer Nacht wie dieser" (2002)
In "In einer Nacht wie dieser" (2002; In a night like this one),
Katrin Bühring organized a wild party with some fellow youngsters
in her room. Her dad, a strict conservative policerman, comes home
early, breaks up the party and cools off his
daughter, demonstrating in the process what a psychological genius
he is. There is only one review on this TV-movie in the IMDb
(rated 6.2) but it is an accurate one.
|Cast Your Vote!
Ok gang, after reading all of the suggestions and thinking about this week's Scoopy Poll topic...we're going to narrow down the field a little bit.
So, this week's topic is now...
Best Nude Debut, the 80's
Here is our current list of actresses that have made both their film as well as their nude debut in the same movie, 1980-1989.
Naturally, we're going to allow for a little padding. For example, Lisa Bonet was already a star on TV, but "Angel Heart" was her first movie role.
If anyone has any more names to add to the list, please email Scoopy Jr.. Look for the voting to begin Wednesday or Thursday.
Marlee Matlin in "Children of a Lesser God"
Kelly LeBrock in "The Woman in Red"
Virginia Madsen in "Class"
Michelle Johnson in "Blame it on Rio"
Joan Severance in "See no Evil, Hear no Evil"
Lisa Bonet in "Angel Heart"
Marina Sirtis in "The Wicked Lady"
Kathleen Turner in "Body Heat"
Phoebe Cates in "Paradise"
Elizabeth Hurley in "Aria"
Béatrice Dalle in "Betty Blue"
Bridget Fonda in "Aria"
Diane Franklin in "The Last American Virgin"
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost has a few video clips (zipped wmvs) featuring scenes from 3 out of 4 "Body Chemistry" movies.
- Lisa Pescia topless and baring her bum in a bubble bath scene from "Body Chemistry II: The Voice of a Stranger" (1992).
- Shari Shattuck, the daytime soap actress and B-movie babe bares breasts and bum in two love scenes from "Point of Seduction: Body Chemistry III" (1994). Links 1-3 are from a slower moving scene. Links 4-6 are faster paced.
- Queen of Direct-to-vid Erotic Thrillers and former Heffer Shannon Tweed. Here she is topless and briefly baring the other 2 B's in a sex scene from "Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure" (1995).
- Leslie Ryan, topless while riding a dude in a love scene also from "Body Chemistry 4".
|Global Globes Highlights
A few quickies from the red carpet and press room at Sunday night's 62nd Hollywood Foreign Press Association Awards show.
This year's fashion theme seems to have been elegant cleavage.
This is pretty cool....Here are the nude highlights from three "Friday the 13th" movies...
- Twins Camilla and Carey More showing a little breast and bum in scenes from "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter" (1984). aka Part 4.
- Judie Aronson, topless and brief rear nudity also in scenes from Part 4.
- Debi Sue Voorhees, in a very busty nude scene from "Friday the 13th: A New Beginning" (1985) aka Part 5. Naturally she has sex in the woods and then gets chopped up by Jason.
- Juliette Cummins and Rebecca Wood also have topless scenes in Part 5.
- Last up in this batch, Heidi Kozak shows breasts, bum and underwater pubes in scenes from "Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood".
||The almighty Alba looking very sexy in this promo pic for the upcoming Robert Rodriguez movie, "Sin City".
|Señor Skin 'caps of Neve topless and showing off her well toned posterior in scenes from "When Will I Be Loved" (2004).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
TV DOCTOR NOT A BOOB JOB EXPERT
Nice Nips - "Nip/Tuck" star Julian McMahon says that playing a plastic
surgeon on TV has a weird side effect: strangers keep asking him if they need to get
any work done. He was at a restaurant recently and a whole table of girls
who'd obviously had a little work done kept asking him his opinion of their
boobs. He said, "I'm really bad at judging boob jobs," and he doesn't know any
more about breast and butt surgery than he did before he became Dr. Troy on TV.
He added, "I think I need more practice!"
As a Hollywood actor, hasn't he had plenty of hands-on experience with
He's not an expert, but he's willing to feel his way along.
Women should ask my opinion of their breasts...I have an "Official Breast
SEX SYMBOL LABEL BAFFLES JOLIE
Guys In Leather Pants Vote For Her - Angelina Jolie says she's amazed she
tops so many "sexiest women" polls because she's always thought she was "too
angular." Jolie said, "I don't think of myself as voluptuous or even
feminine...In a perfect world, I would walk around with no shirt, in leather pants and
boots and not think twice about it. I'd never comb my hair, be covered in
tattoos and be thrilled."
You know, except for the tattoos, that WOULD be a perfect world.
That quote earned her Rosie O'Donnell's vote for "World's Sexiest Woman."
HEAVILY-HYPED MOVIE CATCHES BEN AFFLECK COOTIES
Fifth Going On Fifteenth - Jennifer Garner's comic book movie "Elektra" was
widely expected to overcome awful reviews and be the weekend's #1 movie, but
that honor went to Samuel L. Jackson's high school basketball drama, "Coach
Carter." "Elektra" finished fifth, earning half as much as "Coach Carter" and
less per screen than the debut of Halle Berry's notorious flop, "Catwoman."
So nobody wants to see hot babes in skin-tight costumes anymore? Man,
Bush really HAS changed America.
It'll do better on DVD, where you can slow down the action sequences and
fast-forward through the dialogue.
Hollywood learned its lesson: in her next movie, Jennifer Garner will play
a high school basketball coach who fights crime while half-naked.