"Forever Evil"

Forever Evil (1987) is one of the worst films I have ever seen, but it is a must watch. Here is what you do. Play the first 20 minutes, just to confirm for yourself how bad it really is, then start over and turn on the commentary track. Writer Freeman Williams begins, "Hi, I'm Freeman Williams, and I wrote this mess." That sets the tone for the entire commentary, and they advise taking a drink for every lit cigarette, POV scare shot and phantom unexplained dog. They even remind you when it is time. If you play the game, the extended directors cut should entertain the entire party for two or three nights, as everyone will pass out long before it is over.

Standard set-up. Three couples are spending the weekend at a cabin on a lake. And evil zombie kills all but one. When the one escapes, he stands in the middle of a highway, until an obliging motorist runs him over. So much for the pre credit scenes. He wakes up in the hospital. He then joins with a woman who also lost a bunch of friends the same way, and they team up to figure out what is causing all of the evil. I am still not sure I have the answer, but it involved an ancient God, a pulsing quasar, a zombie and a real estate agent.

The only nudity was in the opening scene where Diane Johnson takes a shower and is murdered. She shows breasts and buns. IMDb readers have this at 3.2 of 10. Two of those who commented got it, and loved laughing at it. And get this, they were talking about the shorter video release. This DVD set includes that original VHS release, and a brand new extended Directors cut. Gather some friends, buy a keg or two, and play the Forever Evil drinking game. This is actually an E+, but, as a "make fun of in a group film," it is nearly unparalleled.

  • Thumbnails

  • Diane Johnson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Tropic of Cancer (1970):

    Henry Miller has a rare combination of professions: he was a pornographer and a sensitive poet. He is the modern Catullus, his poetry avoiding romance and "lovemaking" in order to examine the joys of flat-out fucking. In order to appreciate Miller's style, it is essential to get a feel for the extraordinary juxtaposition of his elegant, heartfelt prose with the profane nature of his subject matter. It's not easy to capture all of that in a film. The sexy part is fairly easy, but mixing it with the sensitive observations is no small hurdle to leap. This movie had difficulty synthesizing this sense of sacred and profane in harmony. It tried to evoke its literary roots, now with a Rip Torn voice-over consisting of Miller's actual prose, then with some poetic shots of the beauty of Paris, but it never really seemed to succeed.

    A second great weakness of the film is that the script could never find anything to focus on. The story we see is a string of vignettes, and the separate episodes don't really seem to lead anywhere. Many scenes seem to concentrate on minor characters for much too long, and without apparent purpose. A picaresque effort like this can succeed, but it has to draw its impact from great individual scenes and the charm of characterization. This film has some of that, but not enough to make it really involving. The whole project gives off a vibe that somebody said "let's make a film of Tropic of Cancer" without actually feeling any passion for why they wanted to do that.

    On the other hand, some of the locales are accurately evocative, and Torn is reasonably credible in the lead. It was certainly interesting to see the Ripper so young and so handsome, and to see multiple Oscar nominee Ellen Burstyn in such a flagrant display of nudity.

    The late 60s and early 70s were a time when filmmakers were casting off their yokes and flexing their muscles in terms of explicit sexuality. This film was extraordinarily daring for an American film of the era. There is no penetration, nor even any penises to be seen, but the film supplies plenty of female frontal nudity, is fairly explicit in the sexual scenes, and is extremely explicit in its use of language. Today, even 35 years after this film was made, it is rare to hear the word "cunt" in an American film, but you'll hear it repeated frequently and rhapsodically in Tropic of Cancer.

    You could watch this film and not feel you've wasted your time, but be advised that you won't feel much rewarded, either.

    Following Brainscan's lead, I am continuing to make VHS caps made from some of my old tapes, using more sophisticated capturing techniques than we had a few years ago. They are coming out reasonably well.

    • Ellen Burstyn. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) I suppose you know she has been nominated for six Oscars, and won one for Alice Doesn't Live Here Any More. All of those more modest roles came after her total frontal nudity in this movie.  She also did some topless nudity in The Ambassador and The King of Marvin Gardens, but would never again show her pubes after Tropic of Cancer. Too bad she got so conservative, because she looks mighty good naked. Those of you younger guys who saw in Requiem for a Dream probably can't imagine just how damned sexy she was.

    • Ellen Burstyn movie clip (no sound)

    • Sheila Steafel

    • Magli Noel

    • assorted minor characters and extras (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS


    "In einer Nacht wie dieser" (2002)

    In "In einer Nacht wie dieser" (2002; In a night like this one), Katrin Bühring organized a wild party with some fellow youngsters in her room. Her dad, a strict conservative policerman, comes home early, breaks up the party and cools off his daughter, demonstrating in the process what a psychological genius he is. There is only one review on this TV-movie in the IMDb (rated 6.2) but it is an accurate one.


    Cast Your Vote!
    Ok gang, after reading all of the suggestions and thinking about this week's Scoopy Poll topic...we're going to narrow down the field a little bit.

    So, this week's topic is now...
    Best Nude Debut, the 80's

    Here is our current list of actresses that have made both their film as well as their nude debut in the same movie, 1980-1989.

    Naturally, we're going to allow for a little padding. For example, Lisa Bonet was already a star on TV, but "Angel Heart" was her first movie role.

    If anyone has any more names to add to the list, please email Scoopy Jr.. Look for the voting to begin Wednesday or Thursday.

  • Marlee Matlin in "Children of a Lesser God"
  • Kelly LeBrock in "The Woman in Red"
  • Virginia Madsen in "Class"
  • Michelle Johnson in "Blame it on Rio"
  • Joan Severance in "See no Evil, Hear no Evil"
  • Lisa Bonet in "Angel Heart"
  • Marina Sirtis in "The Wicked Lady"
  • Kathleen Turner in "Body Heat"
  • Phoebe Cates in "Paradise"
  • Elizabeth Hurley in "Aria"
  • Béatrice Dalle in "Betty Blue"
  • Bridget Fonda in "Aria"
  • Diane Franklin in "The Last American Virgin"

  • Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today the Ghost has a few video clips (zipped wmvs) featuring scenes from 3 out of 4 "Body Chemistry" movies.

    • Lisa Pescia topless and baring her bum in a bubble bath scene from "Body Chemistry II: The Voice of a Stranger" (1992). (1, 2)

    • Shari Shattuck, the daytime soap actress and B-movie babe bares breasts and bum in two love scenes from "Point of Seduction: Body Chemistry III" (1994). Links 1-3 are from a slower moving scene. Links 4-6 are faster paced. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Queen of Direct-to-vid Erotic Thrillers and former Heffer Shannon Tweed. Here she is topless and briefly baring the other 2 B's in a sex scene from "Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure" (1995). (1, 2, 3)

    • Leslie Ryan, topless while riding a dude in a love scene also from "Body Chemistry 4".

    Global Globes Highlights
    A few quickies from the red carpet and press room at Sunday night's 62nd Hollywood Foreign Press Association Awards show.

    This year's fashion theme seems to have been elegant cleavage.

    Kitt 5000
    This is pretty cool....Here are the nude highlights from three "Friday the 13th" movies...

    • Twins Camilla and Carey More showing a little breast and bum in scenes from "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter" (1984). aka Part 4.

    • Judie Aronson, topless and brief rear nudity also in scenes from Part 4. (1, 2)

    • Debi Sue Voorhees, in a very busty nude scene from "Friday the 13th: A New Beginning" (1985) aka Part 5. Naturally she has sex in the woods and then gets chopped up by Jason.

    • Juliette Cummins and Rebecca Wood also have topless scenes in Part 5.

    • Last up in this batch, Heidi Kozak shows breasts, bum and underwater pubes in scenes from "Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood".

    Jessica Alba The almighty Alba looking very sexy in this promo pic for the upcoming Robert Rodriguez movie, "Sin City".

    Neve Campbell
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Neve topless and showing off her well toned posterior in scenes from "When Will I Be Loved" (2004).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Nice Nips - "Nip/Tuck" star Julian McMahon says that playing a plastic surgeon on TV has a weird side effect: strangers keep asking him if they need to get any work done. He was at a restaurant recently and a whole table of girls who'd obviously had a little work done kept asking him his opinion of their boobs. He said, "I'm really bad at judging boob jobs," and he doesn't know any more about breast and butt surgery than he did before he became Dr. Troy on TV. He added, "I think I need more practice!"

  • As a Hollywood actor, hasn't he had plenty of hands-on experience with breast implants?
  • He's not an expert, but he's willing to feel his way along.
  • Women should ask my opinion of their breasts...I have an "Official Breast Inspector" card.

    Guys In Leather Pants Vote For Her - Angelina Jolie says she's amazed she tops so many "sexiest women" polls because she's always thought she was "too angular." Jolie said, "I don't think of myself as voluptuous or even feminine...In a perfect world, I would walk around with no shirt, in leather pants and boots and not think twice about it. I'd never comb my hair, be covered in tattoos and be thrilled."

  • You know, except for the tattoos, that WOULD be a perfect world.
  • That quote earned her Rosie O'Donnell's vote for "World's Sexiest Woman."

    Fifth Going On Fifteenth - Jennifer Garner's comic book movie "Elektra" was widely expected to overcome awful reviews and be the weekend's #1 movie, but that honor went to Samuel L. Jackson's high school basketball drama, "Coach Carter." "Elektra" finished fifth, earning half as much as "Coach Carter" and less per screen than the debut of Halle Berry's notorious flop, "Catwoman."

  • So nobody wants to see hot babes in skin-tight costumes anymore? Man, Bush really HAS changed America.
  • It'll do better on DVD, where you can slow down the action sequences and fast-forward through the dialogue.
  • Hollywood learned its lesson: in her next movie, Jennifer Garner will play a high school basketball coach who fights crime while half-naked.