Revenge of the Musketeers (1992) is the new US DVD release of the French comedy costumer La Fille d'Artagnon, or daughter of Dartagnon. Sophie Marceau shines in the title role, and is completely at home and as lovable as usual in this swashbuckling role. The film opens with Marceau in a convent where her now disgraced famous Musketeer father placed her after her mother's death. A "woman in red" and her henchmen chase a runaway slave into the convent and kill the mother superior. Marceau swears revenge, and is off to Paris to find her father.

She eventually convinces him that there is a serious plot afoot, which he hopes to foil and return to the good graces of the young Louis IV. When his daughter is kidnapped, he is off to find his brother Musketeers, rescue his daughter, and foil the plot against the king. What ensues is hilarity with a bunch of fat, old and lazy Musketeers. This film has everything -- swashbuckling, poison, treachery, a love story lots of physical humor, and biting satire of mid 17th century France. Breasts from Marceau in two scenes, and breasts and rear nudity from Maria Pitarresi don't hurt either.

IMDB has this at 6.3 of 10. Reviews are more positive than negative, and especially praise Marceau's performance. The production design and camera work are wonderful, and the costumes are great as well. I shouldn't have liked a subtitled French comedy costumer, but loved this one. C+.

Movies from Shiloh:

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made .wmv versions of each video -  I do know the codecs for these - Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

 

Today's roster of classics:

• Marushka Detmers sipping on the salamander in Devil in the Flesh (no sound) (.avi version, .wmv version)

• Kerry Fox, also doin' the ol' oral roberts in Intimacy (.avi version, .wmv version)

• This time Kerry Fox gets a Cleveland Streamer and a Dirty Sanchez, not to mention the dreaded Rear Admiral. OK, I'm just kidding, but she is one the receiving end of the ol' genital roberts in Intimacy (.avi version, .wmv version)

• Olivia d'Abo shows off her beautiful breasts in The Last Good Time. (.avi version, .wmv version)

UPDATES:

• Sixteen Encyclopedia entries were updated. (See yellow highlights on the Encyclo page)

OTHER CRAP:

• FilmJerk.com - Film Review from Sundance: "Goodbye Lenin"
• JoBlo's Sundance correspondent talks about the films shown in the first day or so.
• Speaking of Sundance - what about Utah's other filmmakers? Missionary Positioning: the new Mormon cinema. I have a feeling there aren't many nude scenes. Sometimes, though, they show rogue, anything-for-a-thrill Mormons who secretly take a sip of coffee.
• The only Amish theme park. Admission - free! Add this to your vacation plans after you attend the Mormon Film Festival (see below).
• Catholic Bishops name top 10 films of 2003. Because Mormons aren't the only Holy Film Buffs. I wonder how they like Dogma.
• L Word Online Home Page. Keep your eyes open for this Showtime TV series about lesbians, which is said to be filled with sex scenes and frontal nudity. Premiere Sunday night, 10:00 PM Eastern time. As they say, check your local listings.
• Speaking of lesbians. STEPHANIE Adams, Miss November in 1992, is out of the closet and proud to identify herself as Playboy's first-ever lesbian Playmate. She's also a descendant of President John Adams who, to my knowledge, was not a lesbian.
• MadonnaShots - just about every picture ever taken of Madonna since 1958. As a child, as an adult, nudes, non-nudes, whatever.
• RealPlayer 10 released - doesn't fix old problems, adds new ones. "In some ways, the new RealPlayer 10 is the worst of all of Real's releases."
• Large collection of naughty "priceless" ads.
• Is the restoration of Michelangelo's David actually ruining it?
• Student wins case against McGill University over anti-cheating website.
• FreakingNews.com - New Photoshop Contest: "Photoshop how extremely cold weather will affect life in New England: businesses, politics, traffic, civil activities, etc"
• Quote of the day "Wisconsin Veterinary Medical Association president-elect Dale Bjorling said he doesn't recommend striking animals with hammers. " That must represent a major change from the association's former position.
• Actor Says He Nearly Beheaded Tom Cruise. And then the director got all moral on him and grabbed his hand. Well, better luck next time! Losing his head really shouldn't present much of a problem for Tom, since he isn't using it at the moment. Of course, the Church of Scientology is using it.
• New pictures of Halle Berry as Catwoman.
• Mathematics: the age curve and its relationship to MPAA ratings. Summary: if a young woman gets naked, full-frontal, it's an R-rating, maybe NC-17. Old geezer: PG-13. Justification: it is perfectly OK for people under 17 to see stark naked geezers, presumably because they will not be sexually stimulated.
• World's most attractive woman: "In a poll conducted by hellomagazine.com, Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai was voted the most attractive woman of 2003. "
• Fark.com caption contest: "Replace a word in a famous political quote with 'underpants.' Example: 'Ask not what your underpants can do for you, ask what you can do for your underpants.' JFK"
• Mexican hotel burns down from fire started in Rachel Hunter's suite. Rachel, who was in Mexico for a Playboy shoot, was in the hotel restaurant at the time, and is unharmed.
• retroCRUSH: a look at the top 20 male reactions to Olive Oyl.
• URL says it all: Urinal.Net. TIP: Check out this one in Hong Kong.
• L.A. Sex Museum Chronicles the Ages. The oldest thing in its memorabilia? The same thing as the oldest thing in all our memories - the beginning of Cher's farewell tour.
• Blox - maddeningly tricky block movement game. Play the ten free levels and pray that you don't get addicted.
• Christopher Walken, Director Dobkin Sign on for New Line's "Wedding Crashers" Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson signed on to do the film in October, and production is now geared to start March 15 in Los Angeles.
• Follow up on the nude model who seeks husband in internet contest
• Dangerous Sports Club - Human Catapult Home Page
• "Bewitched" in Tokyo
• Mariah Carey goes topless on the Caribbean island of Anguilla.
• The trailers for WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON are now online. Chick-flick, skewing youthful.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

More Canadian stuff...

"Naked City: Justice with a Bullet" (1998)
Showtime cable movie that lives up to its name.

• Carolyn Goff: almost full frontal and what a body.
• Dawna Wright and Raschelle Frayne: topless lesbian action.

"Train 48" (tv series)
Daily minimalist Canadian drama shot during the day and shown the very same evening. It's already known that Krista Sutton had a wild sex scene in American Psycho but something new has been dug up on her co-star Joanne Boland.

• Kathryn Zenna: sexy in tight flimsy blouse sitting spread eagled on exercise ball in episode 120.
• Ingrid Hart: revealing cleavage hawking the show in last week's Mike Bullard talkshow.
• Joanne Boland: topless in the cable movie "Rated X" (2000).

"Les Bougon" (tv series)
Outrageous new French-Canadian comedy about a white trash family that make the Bundys look like the Brady Bunch.

• Hélène Bourgeois-Leclerc: tight jeans and tshirt as slutty Bougon daughter.

"Human Cargo" (mini series)
Canadian drama shot partly in South Africa. Canadian actress Cara Pifko plays the lesbian partner of blonde South African actress Nicola Hanekom. Nicola is best known for her nude role in the South African horror Snake Island.

• Cara Pifko: pokies and underwear.

"Lady of the Lake" (1998)
Really weird romance mystery saved by obscurity when it got picked up by Fangoria

• Tennyson Loeh: boobs and butt in love scene.
• Josee Laviolette: boobs, butt and partial pubes dressing.
• Sylvie Mercier: boobs and butt as body double in underwater sex scene.

"The Art of War" (2000)
Wesley Snipes vehicle. A bunch of unknowns are shown in an asian strip club but Christine Lan is listed as an uncredited strip club nymphette and Josee Laviolette as a lotus girl.

• Unknowns: boobs.

"Screwballs" (1983)
A great find. The JAG actress in her first role is the only cheerleader to keep her top on. Her trick was to play the head jock's sister because noone dares touch the sister of the head jock.

• Nanci Chambers: cleavage in bikini.

"Hitchhiker: episode Face to Face"
Sybil Danning got top nude billing in this 1984 episode but it was stolen by a then unknown Michele Scarabelli in a bit part as a blonde bimbo medical student having an affair with her professor.

• Michele Scarabelli: breasts, butt and partial pubes.

Still cleaning up my hard drive:

• Susan Horton: stuntwoman shows boobs and partial pubes in "Psychic" (1992).
• Krista Bridges: partial boob making out in "Bloodknot" (1995).

"The Last Hand"
In this 1997 film (also known as "After the Game"), a gambler who has lost in casinos all over Nevada suddenly has a huge win. On the way home that night, he dies in a car wreck. The local police, ignoring bullet holes in the windshield and one in his heart, call it an accident.

His son comes to town to learn the truth, but is soon sucked into the very lifestyle that killed his father. Good flick most of the way, but the last 5 minutes turns into something from The Twilight Zone.

• Hudson Leick, the Evil Callisto from "Xena: Warrior Princess" topless!
• Susan Traylor, also topless.

"New Best Friend"
Dominique Swain's breast in New Best Friend has had a good viewing in the Fun House, but there are other interesting sights. Brief nipple by an unknown, pokies by Mia Kirshner, lots of cleavage by Rachel True and there is a sexy Meredith Monroe for reference purposes.

• Dominique Swain (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Mia Kirshner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Meredith Monroe (1, 2)
• Rachel True
• Unknown

"The New Guy"
There is a completely gratuitous bikini show by Eliza Dushku in The New Guy that makes the movie worth capping. The movie has a lot of cheerleaders, led by Eliza and Sunny Mabrey. Lots of sex appeal provided by Rachel E Stevens, Christa Campbell, Zooey Deschanel and Illeana Douglas.

• Eliza Dushku (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Sunny Mabrey (1, 2)
• Rachel E. Stevens
• Christa Campbell
• Zooey Deschanel
• Illeana Douglas
• Assorted Cheerleaders (1, 2)

"The Heartbreak Kid"
Claudia Karvan is topless in the Aussie movie The Heartbreak Kid where she plays a teacher having an affair with a student.

• Claudia Karvan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"Firestarter Rekindled"
Some pokies by Marguerite Moreau in Firestarter Rekindled.

• Marguerite Moreau (1, 2, 3, 4)

"Just One Night"
Cleavage and underwear in Just One Night by Natalie Shaw and Maria Grazia Cucinotta.

• Natalie Shaw (1, 2)
• Maria Grazia Cucinotta

"Wolf"
It's the same again with Wolf where Jack Nicholson turns into a wolf at night. This time the actresses are Kate Nelligan and Michelle Pfeifer.

• Kate Nelligan
• Michelle Pfeifer (1, 2, 3, 4)