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Tuna
"A Scream in the Streets" (1973)

A Scream in the Streets (1973) is another Harry Novak film, this time a crime/cops theme, featuring Sharon Kelly, and several other porn actresses that I could not identify. Think Adam 12 meets Skinemax. Two plain clothes detectives, recently partnered, are on the trail of a serial killer who prays on beautiful young women. Along the way, they stop a spanking freak from abusing a massage girl, chase a peeping tom, and arrest an armed robber, only to have him released the next morning on bail. Most of the mail characters have sex with a well endowed woman, and two women in the "bored housewives club" do each other as the peeper watches.

Tons of nudity from everyone, including Sharon Kelly, who plays the police dispatcher, and has a long sex scene with a patrolman. Like Novak's other work, there is plenty of full-frontal, both male and female, and the sex scenes maintain heat and do not become boring or repetitive. I do miss the humor of some of his themes, such as dumb hillbilly, but the sex and exposure is up to his usual standards. C+

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  • Sharon Kelly (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
  • Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Another Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • The Other Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • The Other, Other Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Une Vraie Jeune Fille" (1976)

    Une Vraie Jeune Fille (1976), aka A Real Young Girl, is a Catherine Breillat (Romance, Fat Girl) film adapted from the novel The Air Duct) about a 14-year-old's self-discovery. The producers expected a gauzy and romantic soft core with a feminine slant, and in stead ended up with a steamy, frank, and sometimes very unladylike sexual self discovery staring Charlotte Alexandra. She comes home to rural France for summer holiday, doesn't get along with her parents, watches the hot local guys, fanaticizes, and plays with herself allot. We see breasts, buns, and gyno shots, and are treated to her peeing, inserting a spoon somewhere under her panties at the dinner table, a fantasy of a guy dropping a worm into her labia, and much more.

    The film was never released. Now, 25 years later, and after Rape Me, they have released it. It had a one weekend theatrical opening in the US, and grossed less than $5m. IMDB readers have it at 6.4 of 10. Although the film did offer insights into adolescent female hormonally induced cravings and actions, there was not enough plot to hold it together, the subtitles were poorly translated and not always there, the quality of the transfer was poor, with many scenes very red shifted, and there was little done with supporting characters. It is certainly shocking, but I am not sure that qualifies it as important cinema. D, although a better quality transfer might get a C- from me.

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  • Charlotte Alexandria (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    IN THE NEWS

    Celebrity divorces

    Yesterday we asked, "if Drew Barrymore is too immature for Tom Green, who could she have a relationship with?". One reader suggested a key answer we never considered - Carrot Top.

    Other matters from our mailbox

    "Scoop. I believe, but I'm not 100% certain, that the Gangster World unknown is  former Hefperson, Alesha M. Oreskovich, June 1993."
     

    Scoop's note: I couldn't find anything conclusive to prove it or disprove it, but it does seem possible.

    MOVIES

    Don Juan was the last starring role for Brigitte Bardot. Like Willie Mays, she was a great one who should have retired earlier. It was a bad movie, and she was a tired 39. Her body was still gorgeous, but she had the hands of a 70 year old lady, and severe lines in her face, which they tried to shoot around with fog lenses and vaseline and soft focus. At least she did substantial nudity in this film, instead of her usual teases. Jane Birkin looked great.

     

    The following are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined it might contain something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Brainscan
    The theme for the day is Nature's perfect creation: the redhead.

    • Palrune sent in some of the finest caps these eyes have seen, of Angie Everhart in Sexual Predator. I Liked what I saw; figured you might, too. Here are a few edited together. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Jr here...adding a bonus collage of Angie nudity. This time it's Freakie's turn to play with Palrune's images.

    • Tiny Adriane Lee, topless and talking on what used to be thought of as a portable phone in Breeders (caps by Tuna).

    • Tuna's caps also of the seriously underappreciated Christine Murray in Trader Hornee. All three B's, all three impressive. (1, 2)

    • Connie Nielsen, full frontal in Devil's Advocate. I love this woman.

    • Tuna's caps of 80's pornabie, Jacqueline Lorians in the Devil In Miss Jones 2. Ya know, I was born too late. What little of 80's stuff I have seen from what they call the adult movie industry looked pretty darn good. (1, 2)

    • Christianne Gout in Tuna's caps of Undercurrent. Okay, she's not a redhead. So sue me. (1, 2)

    Blackshine
    Fantastic new images by Blackshine. He also adds a few comments:

    Today's pics are from a Marc Baptiste book called "Beautiful Nudes" - The title really speaks for itself - beautiful pics, perfect photography, lots of names, lots of nudity - GREAT BOOK!

    • Stacey Dash of "Clueless" fame nude!

    • Noemie Lenoir, is known from last years SI Swimsuit Mag. Here she is full frontal. (1, 2)
    Hankster
    Scoop...

    First up, today's "Babes in Bondage"

    Bernadette Williams and Jennifer Laine both getting shock treatments to their boobs in scenes from "Caged Fury" (1984).

    • Bernadette Williams (1, 2, 3)
    • Jennifer Laine (1, 2, 3)

    "Babes in Bondage" continues with Cassandra Delaney (John Denver's ex-wife), topless and tied to the front of a truck in "Fair Game". (1985).

    • Cassandra Delaney (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    The final "Babe in Bondage" is Christiane Schmidtmer in scenes from the early 70's exploitation flick, "The Big Doll House". Sadly the bad guy never gets her bra off of that mammoth chest.

    • Christiane Schmidtmer (1, 2, 3)


    For today's "Hankster Lite"...

    • Tane McClure topless in "Bare Deception". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Elizabeth Hurley in "Dangerous Ground".No nudity, but that short red skirt drives me wild. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Penman
    Denise Faye

    Lisa Arturo
    (1, 2)

    Fay and Arturo
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    The nudity from "American Pie 2". Plenty of thong and breast views from the "lesbian" scene.


    Mariah Carey
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    In "Glitter". No nudity, but there is some cleavage, a bikini, and her silly hat outfit.

    Mr. Skin
    Debra K. Beatty
    (1, 2)

    Topless and full frontal images of the Skinemax babe in scenes from "Hollywood Dreams" (1994).

    Maria Kavardjikova Topless in scenes from "Vercingétorix" aka "The Druids" (2001). AKA the movie with Christopher Lambert in an extremely silly wig. Check out Scoop's review to see the silliness.

    Agnieszka Wlodarczyk
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The young Polish actress appears topless and full frontal (link #3) in scenes from her very first movie, "Sara" (1997).

    Shana Zadrick
    (1, 2)

    From the movie "Inferno" (1992). Very nice breast exposure in #1, plus link #2 adds some views of the other 2 B's.

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Scoop,

    A few items of interest. It seems like only last week that Britney Spears was acclaimed the world's sexiest woman (come to think of it, it was only last week), but already, she has dropped to #5 and is fading fast. She'd better get started on her own version of Madonna's "Sex" book and boost those numbers. Madonna's starting to look rather desiccated lately as she pursues her goal of morphing into a snooty British aristocrat, but she's still #10 on the sexiest list, and I contend it's because when people think of her, they don't think of her as she is now, they think of her hitchhiking naked with a cig hanging off her lower lip. Maybe Britney could duplicate that layout with a lollipop...

    J.Lo "Ranks" as E!'s Sexiest
    by A.C. Beck

    Jennifer Lopez is an actress, a singer, a dancer, a J.Lo and, as of Wednesday's episode of E!'s Rank, the Sexiest Woman in Entertainment.

    The way-multihyphenate took the top slot as the network's original series counted down the 25 Sexiest Women in Entertainment. She joins George Clooney, named the Sexiest Man in Entertainment by Rank last fall, as a reigning model of--to put it plainly--hotness.

    Lopez, who came this close to being named E!'s Entertainer of the Year in 2001 (she ran second to Nicole Kidman), needs no introduction to beautiful-people watchers. She's an alumna of People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People in the World" roundup. She's been found to have the sexiest legs of all female stars (by Hanes Hosiery in 2000). And she's been declared the owner and operator of the world's best female celeb body (by Celebrity Bodies magazine, of course).

    So fabled is the Angel Eyes star's form that, in 1999, a British tab claimed Lopez took a $1 billion insurance policy out on her bod. (La Lopez laughed off the report.)

    Lopez's body, of course, is perhaps best known for its bottom. As P. Diddy's ex once told the New York Post: You "could serve coffee using my rear end as a ledge."

    Unlike most people (if not Hollywood denizens), the 31-year-old Lopez sounds at peace with her looks. "Luckily I like the way my body is shaped, proportion wise. I'm not too big on top, and I have a decent sized waist," she told Britain's FHM magazine in 1998. "I have what you'd call a 'womanly' figure, and I like that."

    Overall, the Rank rankings include five current, or former, models (Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, Liz Hurley, Brazilian catwalker Gisele Bundchen and Cameron Diaz), three Jennifer Lopez-esque multi-tasking entertainers (Britney Spears, Madonna, Carmen Electra), four recording divas (Beyoncé Knowles, Janet Jackson, Alicia Keys, Gwen Stefani) and a bevy of leading ladies (Julia Roberts, included).

    Rank: 25 Sexiest Women in Entertainment, with host Brooke Burke, is scheduled to repeat Saturday at 11 p.m., Sunday at 9 p.m. and Tuesday at 3 p.m. ET/PT. Another all-new episode, Rank: TV's Top 20 Guilty Pleasures, will premiere January 27 at 9 p.m.

    Here's a rundown of the top 10 from Rank: 25 Sexiest Women in Entertainment.

    1. Jennifer Lopez
    2. Halle Berry
    3. Angelina Jolie
    4. Charlize Theron
    5. Britney Spears
    6. Liz Hurley
    7. Gisele Bundchen
    8. Beyoncé Knowles
    9. Jennifer Aniston
    10. Madonna


    The rest of these items are from IMDB News. First, proof that you picked the wrong guy for a Fun House mascot. It should've been Russell Crowe, and he's out to prove it....

    Russell Crowe And Jennifer Connelly An Item?

    Russell Crowe and actress Jennifer Connelly sparked rumours of a romance with their flirtatious behaviour at the Broadcast Film Critics Association's awards ceremony last Friday. The Oscar-winning actor and his A Beautiful Mind co-star couldn't take their eyes of each other at the event in Los Angeles, according to the Pagesix website. Crowe is said to have frequently pecked the cheek of his beautiful brunette seat-mate during the evening. And in his acceptance speech for Best Actor, the Hollywood playboy referred to his co-star as "sublime". Connelly, who won for best supporting actress, beamed throughout and afterwards shared a cigarette with Crowe on the cozy patio.


    I know you're more of an Altman fan than I am, so here's one for you...

    Altman Fascinated By Women

    Cult director Robert Altman has interesting female characters in his films for a simple reason - he finds women fascinating. The American film-maker is being lauded by British actress Helen Mirren, who stars in Altman's latest release Gosford Park, for providing actresses with roles which don't conform to the usual Hollywood stereotypes. An admiring Helen gushes, "He looks at women in the same way he looks at men, as individual human beings who provide resources for various emotions and experiences. "He finds women and men to be of equal interest. Most male writers and directors have trouble doing that. Everyone uses their own experiences, but I think creative men in particular use the women in their lives as resources. Altman surrounds himself with strong, interesting women who have something to say."


    Finally, two stories that have nothing to do with sex or the art of cinema, but they're just too good to pass up. We really need to introduce Oliver Stone to John Malkovich...

    Oliver Stone's Bin Laden Conspiracy Theory

    Paranoid movie maker Oliver Stone has a theory about why terror chief Osama Bin Laden has not been caught - because big industry doesn't want him to be. According to the New York Daily News, Stone used a recent speech at Brown University to air his views on the September 11th terror attacks. Stone told the crowd that Osama bin Laden "was completely protected by the oil companies in this country, who told President George W. Bush not to go after him because it would p*** off the Saudis." Stone also claimed there's been a scandal at Ground Zero, with "limbs getting cut off bodies for jewelry". The director described Senators Joseph Lieberman and John McCain - who have targeted Hollywood with an anti-violence campaign - as "disgusting men who are moved by a tide of soccer moms who say that their kids are being subverted by Natural Born Killers". When asked which of the many sources of information could be trusted, Stone reportedly replied, "Believe my stuff."


    Malkovich Is All For Execution

    Celebrated actor John Malkovich shares none of his profession's traditional liberal values - he's all in support of the death penalty. The outspoken star is an enthusiastic supporter of state executions - he only has a problem with what they're called. He says, "America's left wing wants criminals coddled, and no-one wants anyone punished. I would have no problem pushing the switch while having my dinner. We're all going to die anyway, so it should be called the early death penalty."