Saturday

Camille

 2007

I was wrong about this movie. From the preview we saw the other day, I assumed it was a sappy dying woman melodrama. In fact, it is not about a dying woman, but a dead woman, and although it is sappy, it leavens that with black comedy. If it had a little more black comedy and a little less mush, it could have been a classic. Even as it is, I found it quite watchable.

 

Here are my expanded notes:

(implied spoilers)

Camille consists of three very different types of movies stitched together into one story.

1. The first third of the film is a backwoodsy comedy about a cheery, naive girl so in love with her sullen fiancé and so excited by the idea of her honeymoon and marriage, that she can't see, or won't accept, that her beloved doesn't really love her back. Nothing can dampen her mood, however, not even when the preacher asks him if he'll take this woman, and he can't decide.

And, mind you, it was really an easy choice: either marry the girl, who's too talkative and a little ditzy, but gorgeous and sweet natured; or go back to prison for life. The girl's uncle is a lawman, you see, and he pulled some strings to get the groom and the bride together, but is willing to let those strings go slack again if his niece isn't getting a husband out of the deal. So we know immediately that the groom is really having a hard time choosing between marriage to her and life in prison, so it seems that life's pathway will be a rocky, uphill climb for them.

This section includes an awkward wedding and the beginning of a honeymoon trip to Niagara Falls, all played to milk the laughs and pathos out of the mismatched lovers.

Until she dies in a traffic accident.

2. The middle portion of the film is a dark, dark romantic comedy. The bride is dead, but just plain refuses to leave. Oh, she's cold, has no pulse, is decomposing, is losing her hair, and smells foul, but she's just not going to go until she gets her honeymoon in Niagara Falls. And she is still one perky and talkative corpse, even though the whole death thing gets her down from time to time. During this time, the ne'er-do-well groom starts to realize that he just pissed away the love of a great woman, and that maybe he ought to give her something back for all the love she has given him since 6th grade, so he resolves to make her post-life experience as pleasant as possible, given that she's a rotting corpse among live people.

3. The film's finale is sweet and sentimental. In fact it's over-the-top syrupy. The supernatural and fantasy elements of the film are stepped up a notch, and the film turns into a high-concept romance, complete with teary eyes and stirring music.

Does it work? Almost. I'd say it's an OK chick-flick that falls just short of being a good one because it fails to find the right balance dark humor and sentiment. There's nothing wrong with sentiment. Casablanca is one of the best films ever made, and it can be gooey, but it pays the price necessary to earn its emotional moments by building up to them with cynical humor and important themes. Camille has no important backdrop like WW2, but if the film had exploited the dark premise better in the middle of the film, the schmaltzy ending would seem like a tasty dessert. As it stands, the film gets gushy too soon, in the center, and starts too early to pile on many consecutive corny moments backed by maudlin music, so that the mawkish ending is not only telegraphed, but seems too sweet, like the idea of eating a box of chocolates after devouring a big meal which already included a rich dessert. The middle third of the movie needed a lot more jokes and a lot less treacle.

But I find it hard to be too critical of a film with a good heart and a good message, even if that message is just as simple and shallow as "love each other more, and appreciate what you have." James Franco and Sienna Miller do a solid job as the groom and bride, and there is some solid back-up from screen veterans like Ed Lauter and Scott Glenn. David Carradine steals the show as an eccentric cowboy. After never having thought much about Carradine one way or another, I am now becoming a big fan since he turned toward offbeat and funny character roles. He was drop-dead hilarious in Big Stan. He's not wildly funny in Camille, but and he infuses the film with a soft/rugged presence which manages to be both profoundly odd and warmly appealing. Who would have thought he could transform himself into Richard Farnsworth!

Co-star James Franco has bad-mouthed the film publicly, and Camille proved to be utterly unmarketable, so it will rides its strong cast straight to DVD.


 

Sienna Miller did a PG-rated nude scene. Obviously the director wanted the mildest rating he could get, because we can safely assume Sienna would have had no trouble getting naked.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moscow on the Hudson

1992

1920x1080 film clips of Maria Conchita Alonso. Collages below.

1920x1080 film clips of Olga Talyn. Collages below.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Death Wish 2

1982

From "Death Wish 2", the uncut version, we have Robin Sherwood as a rape
victim showing breasts in these caps and a film clip.

 

 

Ted Bundy

2002

Boti Bliss as a "Babe in Bondage" showing a fleeting glimpse of boob in "Ted Bundy".

 

 

"Fox & Friends"

Over in TV Land we have Alisyn Camerota with some leg views on "Fox & Friends".

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shannon Tweed

An assortment of film clips, mostly third party web finds.

Conclusion: Parts 7, 8 and 9

Today's clips: Rowdy Girls and Scorned

Yesterday's clip was a bad link. Here is is again: Indecent Behavior III

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         
   

Satan's Princess

1990

"Lydie was another fine specimen of woman; sexy as hell with an incredible face and body, then as your manhood twitches you hear that voice and boom. If she doesn’t give you a woody, you have a serious case of ED."

Lydie Denier in Satan's Princess. Sample below:

 

 
   
         

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

 

"Las Vegas"

Nikki Cox. The first four episodes of Season One.

s1, e5

s1, e6

s1, e7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bangkok Dangerous

2008

While this crime thriller is not Nicholas Cage's best work, not even close, it still has its moments, with plenty of action and excitement. Unfortunately, it also has a bunch of moments that are draggy almost to the point of boredom.

Cage plays Joe, a hit man who always hires a local street person to do his errands, then before leaving town, kills them to ensure secrecy. Joe is sent to Bangkok to do four hits for a local gang lord, supposedly all rival criminals.
After hiring a local pickpocket to do his running, Joe breaks his own rules by befriending the guy, and actually mentoring him in the art of killing. Next he breaks another rule by becoming involved with a local deaf woman with whom he quickly falls in love.

Things get even more dicey when Joe realizes that his last kill is not a bad guy, but a politician who is much beloved by the people, and a sworn enemy of the gang lord. This leads to an exciting and fairly surprising ending that almost makes sitting through the boring stuff worthwhile.

various

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Sharon Stone shows off the aftermarket breasts in Basic Instinct 2

 

This is the Madonna picture being offered at Christie's, as well as the enlargement from the Christie's website.

 

 

Film Clips

Angelina Jolie in Taking Lives (720p)

Anu Agrawal in The Cloud Door

Helen Brodie in Monsoon

Jodie Lynn O'Keefe in Whatever it Takes (no real nudity)

Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me (720p)

Liv Tyler in One Night at McCool's. Another sure nominee for the sexiest non-nude scene ever. Now seen in 1080p! A must-see if you like Liv at all and have not seen this.

Molly Parker in The Center of the World. Molly proves that when it comes to screen sexiness, a great voice and good acting are more important than great beauty and curves.

Pat Astley in Don't Open Until Christmas. It's only video tape quality, but will be new to just about everyone.

Teri Hatcher in The Cool Surface, 960x624