Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid (1973)

There are three versions of this classic Sam Peckinpah Western.

  • The theatrical version was 106 minutes long, and was produced by the studio's editing team, not Peckinpah's.
  • Four years after Peckinpah's 1984 death, some film scholars tried to create a director's cut, which is 122 minutes long.
  • Last year (2005), some Peckinpah associates created another, rival director's cut by interviewing a lot of people and trying to get the version as close as possible to what Peckinpah wanted the film to be. This one is 115 minutes long.

There is a lot of confusion involved in the deconstruction of Peckinpah, and one of the most egregious misunderstandings involves "what Peckinpah wanted the film to be." There was no such thing. Peckinpah had no idea what to do with this film, so he simply abandoned the editing process in his usual drunken, paranoid haze. The debate over what to release theatrically was not between the studio's cut and Sam's cut. It was a matter of the cut produced by the studio's team of editors versus the one produced by Sam's team of editors. Over the years, Peckinpah has been lionized and romanticized, and his rough edges have been sanded over so much that people seem to think Sam had some clear-cut vision of what to do with this film, but the fact of the matter is that he walked away from the film, and he did so with film critic Pauline Kael in the room!

Pauline Kael, in the Austin Chronicle:

"It seems to me that for those who write about his work the martyrdom has sometimes served as blinders. I was there when Peckinpah told the producer that he was walking out on the editing of Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid. As I see it, the film has no motor impulse, no drive. It's a woozy, druggy piece of work. But it is now widely regarded as a mutilated masterpiece. I saw it assembled before Sam left the editing; he may have left it partly because it was too shapeless for him to attempt to pull it together. It's very likely that on this film, as on several others, his imagination was distracted by his financial embroilments. Usually elegies come at the end of a career; Peckinpah's elegies were followed by confusion -- sometimes within the same film."

Sam didn't know what shape he wanted the film to take. The only thing he knew is that he did NOT want the version officially sanctioned by MGM's Jim Aubrey, aka "The Smiling Cobra." Since Sam himself had no idea how to make this film work, any evaluation of the film's three avatars must be based on the opinion of the viewer, and not what was "true to Peckinpah."

I'll give you my thoughts. I saw the theatrical version in 1973 and have never watched it again. It was incoherent, pointless, and boring. There's a pretty good consensus on those points. Sam himself had a similar opinion, and wanted his name removed from the film. Pauline Kael was a great fan of Peckinpah's work, but not of this film. Kael's future successor as the world's most influential critic, Roger Ebert, called the film "one note," "boring," and "simple-minded," and said that "the title song by Bob Dylan is quite simply awful." As it turns out, I agree with all of those points, although I would offer that Dylan's crappy title song was amply redeemed by a great Dylan song, "Knockin' on Heaven's Door," which was also part of the score for this picture.

I have just watched the two re-created versions of the film, and they are much, much better than the theatrical release. I especially like the 2005 version, in which the narrative flows smoothly and most of the pointless and confusing digressions have been removed. If you are interested in the complete overview, you have to watch both director's versions because the 2005 version includes lots of additional never-before-seen material (including additional nudity), even though it is some seven minutes shorter than the 1988 cut. The 2005 cut economized by removing the framing story which takes place in 1909, 28 years after Billy's death, when Pat Garrett himself is killed. The 1909 scenes are replaced by a scene between Garrett and his wife, and a much longer version of Garrett's bordello visit which now includes a scene in which Garrett beats some information out of a prostitute friendly to Billy.

The story behind the making of this film is far more entertaining than the film itself, and the most entertaining account I have read was offered in quintessential Gonzo fashion by E. Jean Carroll in Rocky Mountain Magazine:

1973, Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid comes apart. Happens like this. Peckinpah wants a 5x-day shooting schedule. MGM wants 36. He gets 50. Peckinpah wants to shoot in New Mexico for authenticity. Metro wants Mexico to cut costs. He loses. Peckinpah wants a Panavision repairman in Durango, Mexico, to fix the cameras. The studio says nothing doing. The first footage is sent to L.A. to be processed. The lab calls Peckinpah. Says the film's out of focus. Panic in Durango. Downtime. The camera is fixed and the paranoia sets in. The actors get sick. The crew gets sick. Peckinpah is puking every day. They fall behind schedule. James Aubrey, president of MGM, wants to save time and forbids Peckinpah to shoot a raft scene. Peckinpah shoots it. The scenarist, Rudy Wurlitzer, starts complaining. Says Peckinpah is rewriting the picture with the help of his old TV scripts. Jerry Fielding, Peckinpah's music composer can't work with Bob Dylan and quits. Dylan's unhappy. Kris Kristofferson (the Kid) says Rudy's dialogue is corny. Rita Coolidge (Maria, the Kid's lover) says all that remains of her role thanks to MGM is that of "a groupie." James Coburn (Garrett) says Peckinpah is a creative paranoid who generates tension to give everyone the same experience to feed on during the film. A fight breaks out one Saturday night. Two guys. One is on the phone ordering a couple of gunmen to Durango. Wants the other guy killed for threatening Peckinpah's life. Whitey Hughes, Peckinpah's stunt man, says they always have a good time, but on this film they aren't having a good time. The hit is canceled at Peckinpah's insistence. Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid is brought in 20 days over schedule and $1.5 million over budget. MGM's building a hotel in Vegas and needs cash. The studio moves the release date up and gives Peckinpah only two and a half months to edit. On the sly MGM duplicates the work print and employs another cutter. Peckinpah's version runs between 122 and 126 minutes. The studio's runs 106. The producer, Gordon Carroll, negotiates day and night. Gets nothing restored. The picture's released. Peckinpah sues for $1.5 million. Orders all the cuts put back or his name taken off. Nada Nada. Nada.

(That article also offers many other insights into the world according to Sam. I recommend reading the entire article if you are into Peckinpah's life or his films)

A great deal of the Pat and Billy story in this film is completely fictional, but the scene I like best, Billy's jailbreak, is told almost exactly as it actually occurred. (There are actually two common versions of the story, but they vary only on one detail - how Billy obtained a gun in the outhouse.) That scene develops the characters thoroughly and economically, follows the action smoothly, has some great dialogue, leads up to a solid pay-off, and is both fast-paced and entertaining. If the rest of the movie were that good, this picture could be the masterpiece that some people claim it to be. But it isn't. The jailbreak is followed by Pat Garrett's pursuit of Billy, with Pat's rambling story told parallel to Billy's equally rambling and half-hearted attempt to flee. The pursuit includes too many digressions and too many undefined minor characters with nothing interesting to do or say. This portion of the movie does, however, provide work for just about every Western character actor in Hollywood, and that's fun to watch. There are also some excellent (if marginally relevant) scenes within the listless and static pursuit. Some examples:

  • Jack Elam creates some bittersweet comic relief as a desperado-turned-lawman who is forced to get into a showdown with Billy. The two men like each other and neither of them wants to fight, but they can't come up with a way to avoid it, so they eat some supper and head outside for the duel. They both cheat, but Billy wins the gunfight because he cheats more! That's a Peckinpah trademark - the dismantling of the Western cliché.
  • Slim Pickens embodies another Peckinpah archetype - the world-weary Westerner - as a sheriff who joins Garrett for part of his mission. Pickens is an old man who loves the water and is building a boat so he can sail away from the violent frontier. You can guess how that's going to work out, since sympathetic movie characters who are just about to retire always get lured in for one last fatal job. Pickens is mortally wounded in the gun battle, and walks off quietly to his favorite river where he dies in peace as he dreams about sailing. "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" accompanies his death-walk.
Ruth Alda. I had never heard of her. I looked her up, figuring she must be a one-timer. Silly me. She has 66 credits at the IMDb, and is still working regularly today. She is a native Latvian, born in Riga.
Rita Coolidge. Maybe you know her. She was not only Kristofferson's wife, but was a popular singer. I suppose she is most famous for being the subject of a monster hit song. She is the Delta Lady that Joe Cocker was singing about. (Leon Russell actually wrote the song for her.) Her own biggest hits were "(Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher And Higher," which made it to #2, and "All Time High," which was the theme song for one of the Bond movies. She is still a popular jazz singer, and was still attractive at 60 years old the last time I saw her.

Various Unknowns

Other Crap:

Baseball statistics: history or marketable property?

Michelle Trachtenberg is set to topline the horror remake Black Christmas, from the filmmaking team James Wong and Glen Morgan (Final Destination)

  • Morgan will write and direct

Golden Globe award summary

Golden Globe fashion overview

The sex industry has always been able to exploit niche markets that the rest of the economy misses. I give you www.crashcargirls.com - ....sexy women smashing cars

Timing is everything - photos taken at exactly the right moment!

President Pledges To Personally Hunt Down Sniveling Bureaucrat Who Spilled the Beans About Totally Legal Spying On Citizens (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

"WATCH TV THIS INSTANT ... No, you may not do your homework."

Manboobs - We're Fat And We're Proud !

Weekend Box Office Results, January 13-16, 2006

  • Most films fell right where expected except Hoodwinked, the 3-D animation film from Weinstein Studios, which was expected to open about #5 and ended up winning the long weekend in a three-way photo finish! (Maybe - these are estimates.)
  • Hoodwinked got stronger every day. On Friday it was fourth and could have been as low as sixth with just a few dollars less at the box. On Saturday it was first, but barely so. On Sunday it won convincingly. On Monday it pulled away from the field.
  • Grandma's Boy tanked down to 21st, despite continuing to play on 2000 screens. (It took in about half as much as Woody Allen's Match Point, which is on 300 screens.) BloodRayne never came out of its corner for a second round.
  • Absent a strong champion, the Top 12 were down more than 10% from last year. This year's champion grossed only $16 million. On last year's MLK weekend, Coach Carter pulled in $29 million, and two other films pulled in $18 million or more.
  • NOTE: The numbers below are for four days, not three.

Ewe Boll update: no box office reign for BloodRayne

  • The first week it played, they created and shipped 1900 prints, but only 985 of those theaters actually showed the movie. He tried to by-pass the studio distribution system, but without that system there is no way to lock in the screen count. The second week - I don't know. Did it actually play anywhere?
  • Boll said details on the DVD launch, including whether his "harder" director's cut of the film will be released, are still being worked out, but it will be out in April.
  • Boll is now editing a $60 million film called In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, starring Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, Ron Pearlman, and Ray Liotta.
  • Boll is a genius at raising money, but he needs to promote himself to producer and hire somebody to direct. The dream connection: imagine what Robert Rodriguez could do with Ewe's money!!!

Online Film Critics pick winners

  • They had the balls (and the insight) to pick the Mickster for his role in Sin City, and to give Sin City some other awards as well. Most of the hoity-toity groups have chosen to ignore that film altogether.
  • The OFCS also awarded last year's Best Picture to Eternal Sunshine, and nominated Terrence Howard for Best Actor this year, so they have been showing some better judgment than the big name award groups. (Howard lost to Philip Seymour Hoffman, but that's nothing to complain about. Pick Hoffman, Straithain, Howard ... just a matter of what one thinks at the moment the ballot is cast.)
  • They picked A History of Violence as best picture this year, and Downfall as best foreign-language film. I'm OK with both of those choices. Downfall is a masterpiece, so obviously no problem there, and it doesn't seem to me that there is one clear-cut selection for Best Picture - A History of Violence is one of a dozen or so reasonable candidates, along with about five others I have seen, and probably five others I have not seen.
  • On the other hand, of the Best Director nominees, I would have picked any of the others over Cronenberg, and would have picked Rodriguez over Cronenberg if he had been nominated. But Cronenberg is still a decent choice. I just think there may have been better ones.

Street theater presents: McDonald's Bathroom Attendant

There is one billboard - in Sioux Falls, South Dakota - that does not currently advertise the new ABC show "Emily's Reasons Why Not" with a giant size photo of star Heather Graham.

  • “This is obviously an error by our midwest advertising booker,” ABC VP of marketing Lynne Brann told me when I informed her of the snafu. “I can promise you she’s going to be out of a job tomorrow.”

RYAN SEACREST SHAKING UP E! NEWS AS NEW MANAGING EDITOR ... E! News blows lid off Bush wiretapping scandal under Seacrest’s leadership

  • Seacrest said. “My first act was to recruit a crack team of experienced investigative reporters and tell them to go out there and win a Pulitzer. And also to find out what Reese Witherspoon is wearing to the Golden Globes.”


  • Ang Lee got the idea while working out at the YMCA

The trailer for Akeelah and the Bee, the film about the cute little poor girl who becomes a national spelling bee champion.

The trailer for The Lady in Question is Charles Busch

  • "In Catania and Ignacio's first feature documentary we look deep inside the world of one of the most prolific, talented, and outrageous New York theater artists of the last two decades, beloved playwright, actor, novelist, drag artist, and leading lady, Charles Busch. Splashed on the map in 1984 as one of the burgeoning artists of New York's East Village arts scene, Busch's scandalously sex-charged, cross-dressing classic, Vampire Lesbians of Sodom became a theater phenomenon, running an unprecedented five years and securing its place as one of the longest-running shows in Off-Broadway history. His legendary Theater-in-Limbo plays, produced originally at the dingy yet inspired Limbo Lounge, brought together an eclectic troupe whose talents are on display in rare archival footage."

BUSH CALLS ‘OPERATION ALIENATE PAKISTAN’ A SUCCESS ... Airstrike Succeeded in Pissing Off Nation of 162,000,000, President Says

  • Elsewhere, the Reverend Pat Robertson said that God ended the New England Patriots’ Superbowl hopes to punish Massachusetts for legalizing gay marriage.

Brokeback Mountain, as reviewed by The Filthy Critic, who watched it with a theater full of gay cowboys.


  • Damon will write and play both parts. Affleck will play those guys, as in "Who are those guys?"

According to a report in the Irish press this morning, Johnny Depp will star in the long-awaited screen version of J. P. Donleavy's novel, The Ginger Man.

Zoom in or out on Hubble's Sharpest View of the Orion Nebula

I-Mockery's "Albums That Suck" - Carmen Electra!



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




How to Make an American Quilt (1995)

This film tells the story of a young woman, engaged but not convinced that marriage is the right thing, who goes to spend the summer with her grandmother and finish writing her third attempt at a masters thesis. The home has always been the gathering place for members of the local quilting bee, ever since she stayed there as a child, and things haven't changed. One by one, she learns the secrets, mostly sexual in nature, of all of the women there, has an affair, and then realizes what she really wants.

I was a little surprised at the IMDb rating. Not that it didn't deserve a 6.0. It was well acted, beautifully filmed, but was essentially a 109 minute relationship discussion among women. The real surprise to me was the male score of 5.8 as opposed to the female score of 6.5. This doesn't even officially place it in chick flick territory. I suppose we can call it a date movie.

Joanna Going shows breasts and buns playing the young version of one of the women. I did not especially enjoy this film, but Mrs, Tuna did. This is a C+. It is well made, and pleases genre fans.


The Rosebud Beach Hotel (1984)

The Rosebud Beach Hotel (1984) is a comedy staring Colleen Camp as a rich girl seriously dating Peter Scolari. Daddy doesn't approve. He pressures Scolari into becoming manager of a sleazebag hotel in Florida that is worth three million, but insured for eight million. The idea is that Scolari will make a mess of the job, daddy will have it burnt to the ground by an arsonist, Scolari will fall out of favor with Camp, and daddy will collect $8M. Camp decides to go to Florida with Scolari.

Once there, it doesn't take Camp long to figure out that women of the night are bringing their dates to the hotel, and hits on the idea of making bell hops out of the hookers. She also starts promoting the girl band. Other kooky characters include Eddie Deezen as an alien summering there, Hank Garrett as custodian and keeper of the boiler, who has a bunker built into the basement, complete with arms, food, and a still, and two kindly old women who sell flowers and home grown pot in the lobby. The arsonist turns out to be totally inept, and Camp and Scolari make a success of the hotel.

Several women show breasts and buns, including a 21 year old Monique Gabrielle as a hooker who tries to seduce Scolari, July Always, Paula Wood, and a group of women at a party in the bunker including Dirga McBroom, Tina Merkle, and Julia Parton.

IMDb readers have this at 4.2 with 42 votes. Camp's performance reminded me somewhat of Mary Woronow, but not in a good way. While not taking itself seriously was a good thing with this zany plot, they didn't sell the story either. This is a D.

Monique Gabrielle


Julie Always


Paula Wood





Dann reports on Feeding the Masses:

This 2004 horror flick is actually a black comedy, taking the television news media and the government to task. The zombies are merely props.

A virus has struck the population. Infected people turn into zombies, who then eat and infect others. The government's solution: "Play Dead", because zombies only eat the living.

As the local TV news crews try to cope with zombies and government happy talk while trying to perpetuate a feeling of normalcy, things get crazier and crazier.

Despite being a direct-to-video no-budget B movie, this effort is well-done and bitingly critical of both the media and the government, two organizations that more than deserve all the criticism they get. Oh, and it's also funny as hell.

Izzy Kunkle Nikky Irene





"Une Parisienne" is a light French comedy starring Brigitte Bardot. Although there is no real nudity, Bardot is incredibly sexy in every frame in the film, always provocative and erotic, a real turn-on. The film is not bad itself and there are some other good looking - if rather a bit old fashioned - women in it too. Here are a few caps, I hope I can make more, this one has a lot of stuff.

La Bardot
Claire Maurier
Nadia Gray
Madeleine LeBeau



Today we have another "Really Bad Movie", but with a little bit of nudity "Board Heads" aka "Beach Movie".  

Gabrielle Anwar is the star and that B-movie rule comes into effect as she hides the goodies with flowers on the tits.

Traci Bingham with cleavage.  

Kat Davison shows off her nice perky little titties as she peels off her dress.

Portia Dawson looks really nice in a bikini and just one little nipple slip.

Victoria Silvstedt loses her bikini top exposing her Robo's.

Meadow Sisto in her bra. 

Loretta Swit ( "Mash" ) kind of proves an older woman can still look sexy. Cleavage and short skirt.


5 clips, 5 actresses, 2 movies, that's today's content.   - In Der Schuss (2001) two actresses take their clothes off.  
  • Austrian Sandra Cervik delivers a double B performance by allowing us a full frontal glimpse of her body in one short clip.
  • Her German colleague Lisa Martinek ups the ante by putting in the third B in one longer clip.
  - In Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974) three lesser known actresses give up the goodies in one clip each.  






Rampage (2006) is not the worst movie I've ever seen. Not by a long shot.  But it just might be the stupidest.  What it asks us to swallow as reasonable and what it tries to pass off as clever leaves one's jaw on the floor.  Case in point: a good half-hour is spent in a small room with Brittany Daniel's character, a psychiatrist, interrogating one dangerous
mofo, with camera swirling round and round.  But there ain't no drama and there ain't nothing interesting.  Stupid.  But part of the utter stupidity has Brittany's character boffing anything that moves and that gets her nekkid.  A lot.  Included is one of the nicest scenes in the history of cinema...a butt-nekkid Brittany from bedroom to swimming pool.  That can make up for a great many sins.  Hell, you can film Tom Cruise singing the words of Dianetics to the tune of
"Why Don't We Do It In the Road" but get Brittany to bare her bum and I will buy that puppy.  So here's some caps to the first part of that scene.  Brittany Daniel.  The woman is a babe.







Here is Lauren Lee Smith on The L Word this week.  
Sarah Shahi on The L Word this week.  
Professional naked person Lucy Clarkson.  
Sarah Paulson in last week's Deadwood.  
Jodie Marsh.  
Vahina Giocante or her body double in Lila Says  (sexy shot, either way)  
Scarlett Johansson gets her own golden globes felt up at the Golden Globes  
One more of Maggie Gyllenhaal's frontal nudity in Strip Search  

Pat's comments in yellow...

On Friday the 13th, self-proclaimed vampire Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey announced his candidacy for governor of Minnesota on the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party ticket.  Inspired by Jesse Ventura, former wrestler Sharkey said "politics is a cut-throat business," and since he sucks blood from his wife's neck, he's uniquely qualified.  He said, "I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus, I just hate God the Father," but he claims he respects all religions and would "post everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.  He also promised to execute murderers and child molesters personally by impaling them on wooden posts outside the state capitol.

*  So basically, he's a Republican.

*  With his bloodsucking experience, he should be IRS Commissioner.

*  His campaign slogan: "The other candidates suck, too, but at least I admit it."

Croatian widow Vera Dudas, 73, has applied for a  spot in the Guinness Book of Records for world's oldest cucumber.  She said  it was pickled by her mother-in-law when her late husband was born in 1930, and  unfortunately, it survived longer than he did.  Vera said she's had the cucumber insured, and "it was with us everywhere we ever lived and through all our experiences, good and bad."  She said, "I remember my entire married life when I look at that cucumber." 

*  In fact, after her husband died, the cucumber sort of took his place. 

*  It reminds her of their salad days.

This Explains A Lot

Jim Carrey is campaigning against caffeine, saying that
his health and mental processes are greatly improved since cutting down from seven coffees a day to one.

*  Oops, sorry, that's a typo: It was actually "70 coffees a day." 

*  Unfortunately, this could end his career.