Hammer (1972) is an amazing film, and should be required curriculum i every film school. It is a complete encyclopedia of every blacksploitation cliche and every prize fighter cliche neatly packaged into one short exploitation film. Fred Williamson plays B. J. Hammer, the young tough fighter who forgets for a while that he has soul. Elizabeth Harding is the white girl who likes black meat. Vonetta McGee is the classy black woman who wises up to her sleazy bosses criminal activities, and falls for Hammer. She also doubles as the kidnap victim used to pressure Hammer into throwing the big fight. Hammer's first girlfriend and sometimes hooker is played by Nawana Davis, and the part of the unknown stripper is played by Tracy King.
Harding does a lovely full frontal, Davis and King show breasts, and McGee's character shows a breast, and buns through a shower curtain. I am guessing that the body parts are actually her. I would imagine there would have been more and clearer exposure had a double been used.
IMDB readers have this at 4.3 of 10. Williamson is fine in the role, and made several Hammer blacksploitation films. The problem with the film is that it gives us absolutely nothing new, and even the "hip" dialogue is hopelessly dated. Low C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Cabin Fever (2002):
This is the third time I've been through this hokey
but sometimes entertaining splatterfest.
The commercial DVD is now available. Kind of a
disappointing DVD, from my perspective. No deleted scenes, no
outtakes. Very brief "making of", and some other jokey minor
features. They put all their energy into commentary tracks, of which
there are FIVE. I didn't listen to any of them. Who the hell would
listen to five commentary tracks?
- Cerina Vincent (1,
Movies from Shiloh:
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs:
A reader says:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made .wmv versions of each video - I
do know the codecs for these - Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Today's roster of classics:
Today's roster of new stuff:
MAILBOX: (more on movies for Mac
I just thought you'd like to know that every AVI video you have
posted recently is viewable on the Mac, but since I know a lot of
people have trouble I thought I'd send along some tips.
1) Use Max OS X. Jaguar (10.2) is fine, but Panther (10.3) is
better. Actually, 10.1 will probably work too, but come on and
2) Use the free VLC media player (the Mac VideoLAN client). It plays
darned near anything you throw at it, except Real Video (use
RealPlayer for these) and Indeo Video (there is no OS X codec for
this as far as I know, but it's pretty rare anyway). The latest
version of VLC, 0.7.0 as I write this, is available here:
3) If you prefer QuickTime Player, or if you are stuck with Mac OS
9, here are some tips: A) Install either the 3ivx (http://www.3ivx.com)
or DivX (http://www.divx.com)
codec for proper video playback. I prefer 3ivx. B) QuickTime Player
does not properly handle MP3 audio in AVI movies, so you'll have to
use DivX Doctor (http://doctor.3ivx.com/download.html)
to convert the movie before playing it. Note that this can
significantly increase the file size because the audio is being
I don't work for any of the above mentioned companies. I'm just a
Mac user and a loyal Funhouse reader.
I hope this helps.
American Dialect Society picks the word or phrase of the
year. Can you guess the winner?
Opensecrets: US Congress. Check it out to see who owns
Blind, Deaf, and Lame - No one listened to Paul O'Neill.
Here's why. : Good article by the always-incisive
Michael Kinsley. It's even quite funny! (Read the first
two sentences). He likens O'Neill to Louis in Casablanca -
I'm shocked, shocked, to discover there are tax cuts for
the rich in a Republican administration.
A new reality TV show asks the question: 'Can YOU Be A
Upcoming DVD Release Dates Schedule and Cover Art
'Party of Five' Actor Sentenced in Attack Actor Scott
Bairstow was sentenced to four months in jail for an
attack involving a 12-year-old girl. He will eb out in 37
days with good behavior. 37 days? For the statutory rape
of a 12 year old girl? It's good to be a celebrity.
- Want to combine
religious fanaticism with your green thumb? I think a
Chia Christ might be your key.
Shoe Size - Penis Size Conversion Charts for all countries.
Boy, do I wish this really worked. (I wear size 14 shoes).
Website Mixmaster. Name one website for content, one
for layout, then watch the fun. As an example,
try this hybrid of the official White House site with
project flaunt - free public gallery+viewer for photos,
art, poetry, comics, humor, rants, music and more TIP:
set your preferences for pictrures of women, and to allow
r-rated material. You may find it quite entertaining.
FreakingNews.com - New Photoshop Contests: "Photoshop
Baghdad Bob in other jobs that he could have chosen to
start his career over with."
- The internet is an
amazing thing! Here's a big collection of
unauthorized pictures of Saddam's capture, which have
not made it to mainstream media.
- The trailer for
Ella Enchanted is now online. PG rated film apparently
aimed at children and young teen girls.
Corporate fraud makes us miss old-fashioned independent
fraud. (The Daily Show)
Jackson pleads not guilty to molestation charges amid
circus atmosphere: "As he departed the Santa Maria
courthouse after the hearing, Jackson held up his right
hand in a victory sign and threw kisses to the crowd. He
then stood atop a sport utility vehicle, did a few dance
moves, and waved to a cheering throng from beneath a big
umbrella while a supporter videotaped the crowd"
A mysterious network called 'Internet' - actual CBC report
from October, 1993.
Sidewalk Art - this guy is good. I mean REALLY good.
- The .wmv trailer for
Perfect Opposites is now online. Seems to be a lame
romantic comedy with Piper Perabo. As I posted this, the
link for the QuickTime trailer was not yet active, but the
Windows Media worked fine.
- Popeye turns 75 today.
Celebrate with the
Absolute Popeye Trivia Game.
Check out the tiny sign that the old lady is carrying.
- My favorite headline of
the day comes from Reuters:
"Happy penis song doesn't annoy Canadian regulator".
He is, however, a bit perturbed about the sad clitoris
Scientists accidentally develop two-headed fish. Monty
Burns was unavailable for the seafood platter.
The Bush administration is officially in favor of naked
Uncle Melon picks "Top 10 Babes I Banged in 2003"
- The photography of
D A V I D * L A C H A P E L L E
ESPN.com will pick the top 25 athletes of its lifetime (25
years) You do the voting.
The Laws of Cartoon Physics.
Boy born to Billy Crudup and Mary-Louise Parker. They
are no longer together.
Malaysian police crack hamster theft ring. Insert
Richard Gere joke here.
Hank Aaron says Pete Rose doesn't belong in the Hall of
Model Rachel Hunter has posed topless for Playboy
magazine, after accepting a staggering $1.8 million to
strip. $1.8 million to strip? How did she fit $1.8
million in her garter?
- According to that somber
bastion of scientific study, Weekly World News,
a child psychologist has launched a search for America's
Top Schoolyard Bully. Results will be measured by,
among other things, the total amount of lunch money
Tony Blair has been called 'a complete dickhead' by a
leading Spanish politician live on television. Oh,
sorry senores, I was talking about Tony Danza. I
always confuse them. Tony Blair is a - how you say - "herk
Page3.com does a tribute to one of their most popular
topless girls of all time - Gail McKenna.
- This is London reports
Mr Britney was paid half a million dollars to sign the
The President celebrates MLK day by appointing an alleged
segregationist judge during a congressional recess. In
a three-page article published by the University of
Mississippi Law Review, Pickering, then a law student,
described how the legislature could pass a law against
racial intermarriage that might withstand judicial
scrutiny. Pickering also made a speech in a 1984
convention saying that the Christian Bible should be
"recognized as the absolute authority by which all conduct
of man is judged."
Mouseketeer "naked" in Toxic video
Bendability Gallery - Contortionists and generally
Famous women in slips.
Dave Barry explains the Iowa Caucuses.
Nic Cage is hard at work on the Jerry Bruckheimer
mega-budget actioneer 'National Treasure' about a hidden
treasure which can be found from clues hidden within the
original U.S. Constitution.
Thank God the United Nations exists, and spends its time
in meaningful pursuits.. The august international body
ruled that Carmen Electra has the right to
Don't think face lifts are risk-free: " Olivia
Goldsmith, author of the best-selling 'The First Wives
Club,' died last night after suffering a heart attack and
lapsing into a coma during her cosmetic surgery. She was
Dutch Princess Maxima wants to be the European Paris
Hilton, forgets her panties in public.
Letterman's Top Ten Reasons George W. Bush Wants To Put A
Man On Mars
Mardi Gras nudity.
Wayans brothers change sex for 'White Chicks'
ABC yields early start to NBC shows. ABC likely won't
try to counter NBC's decision to launch most of its fall
Utah's other film festival. SATURDAY, the 10th annual
Slamdance Film Festival will get under way in Park City,
'NYPD Blue' Character to Expose Rear: Sorry, guys.
It's a dude. "Police Detective Greg Medavoy, Gordon
Clapp's character on the television drama 'NYPD Blue,'
will soon get his rear end exposed. "
Mariah faces Malaysia ban: "Muslims in Malaysia are
calling for Mariah Carey to be banned from performing in
the country because she's 'vulgar'." They do have a point.
Junk food from the 90s.
MP wants to stop Page Three Girls.
The youth of Britain is starting to turn its back on
- Coming soon now has the
full screen trailer for
The Passion of the Christ.
- The trailer for
The Perfect Score is now online. Teensploitation film
about stealing the SAT answers.
- The long-awaited trailer
Van Helsing is now online.
Media Horde Arrives for E. Jacko hearing
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Here's a whole host of nekkid babes (the good news) as capped from videotape (the bad news). Results vary with the quality of the source material and with the cappers limited means of dealing with slings and arrows.
Okay, from Sun Bunnies (1973) we have a nekkid babe triple. It's really a homerun, since there is a fourth babe, but I'm saving her for another day.
Sun Bunnies is a dreadful movie about a gossip columnist who has out to get the goods on a male movie star. Seems someone has suggested the stud-muffin is back from Europe minus a few things that dangled between his legs. She wants to find out the truth of the situation in the worst way. Or worst ways, as it turns out, for she fails repeatedly with schemes the Coyote would have looked at and said, "Naw! That'll never work." Sort of like this movie.
In Scoopy Sr's world of relative suckatude this cinematic achievement is the standard against which all others are judged. Best example is the first stripping scene. Two babes disrobe with nary a word of conversation that isn't, "It sure will be good to get these clothes off." Tis said five, six, seven times. By each of them. "Sure will be good to get these clothes off." Indeed. Very good. To get them off. The clothes, I mean. So just shut up and do it.
Ten minutes of the movie is panaromic shoots of cars driven from point A to point B. Those points are supposed to be Hawaii, but I swear it's Laguna Beach, CA. And then, toward the end of the movie.. right before all main characters hump someone, there is this hula scene... one dancer... that I know lasts fifteen minutes. I wouldn't voluntarily watch anyone dance that long. Not even Nikki Cox. Even if she were naked. Well, okay, maybe then.
Worst movie I've ever seen if you count the clothed moments. Worst than Manos. Beyond parody. Mike and the Bots would have given up halfway through it. But there is so much exposure in this puppy the local video store had it in the special room with Backdoor Sluts 9 and all the others of that genre. I can sorta see why.
Anyway the three women are Brenda Fogarth (the reporter), Linda Gildersleeve and Wendy Cavanaugh. None of them is babalicious, but the fourth one... former Pet Mariwin Roberts...is very much a babe and she is nekkid the most. (I'll send along those caps as soon as they are done.)
Bottom line: this the movie that lead directly to the invention of the Fast Forward button. Seriously. The inventor saw Sun Bunnies and spent the next six months perfecting the technology.
Second movie is The Manhandlers, about a variety of TV dinners with big portions of cardboard chicken and wax peas and plastic mashed potatoes. Oh well, that's not true. It's about three gals who inherit a massage parlor and turn it into a legitimate enterprise. Two of the women are Cara Burgess and Judith Brown... the third I saw and really liked but something happened to the clip of her nude scene and I am NOT renting this thing again. It's horribly dated. Something like an episode of Mannix as it might have appeared had HBO been around in those days.
A cute little movie with hours of exposure is Soft Touch. IMDB indicates this is the first of two movies, made from episodes of a show that ran on the Hef channel. It's all about three gals making their way together in the big bad world. All is light and breezy, there are some attempts at humor and the babes are a) really good looking; and b) naked a lot.
The three babes in question are Jeannine Louise, Sue Morrow and Jennifer Inch. Another woman, Jennifer Whyle, also shows off a bit. Jennifer Inch is the only one you are likely to recognize, either as the star of the Euro-softcore, Frank and I, or as a feature player in the Canadian PBS chick production, Anne of Green Gables. In this production, she plays a blonde with the sweetness, looks and intellectual abilities of Jessica Simpson. All of which means this is worth a look if you can find a copy of the movie.
The third movie is Killing for Love, a DTV that is surprisingly good. It is a murder mystery of sorts but it has the good sense to go about things with tongue firmly planted in cheek. You'll figure out the core of the mystery long before our protagonist does but you won't care because a lot of real babes get real naked real often. Too bad it's not been released on DVD.
Scanman did such a great job on this movie lo those many years ago (it has Brandy Sanders, Jennifer Leigh Burton and Raelyn Saalman in several, long, kick-ass sport-humpin' scenes) that I decided to focus on two women he left behind, Lisa Haslehurst and Monica Soares. Triple B's from both of em.
Last thing today is a single collage of veteran B movie babe, Lisa Comshaw, in the Petra Verkaik tape, Centerfold Fantasies. Lisa has not been the centerfold of the Hefmag or of any other magazine that I know of. But she's not only merely nude, she's really most sincerely nude and I figured that made her scene worth grabbing.
Elizarah, Carey and Jodie Moore
|The porn star and former candidate for Governor of California (she came in 10th in the election) is joined by a couple of other topless babes in scenes from "Sapphire Girls". 'Caps by Dragon.
||Hugo 'caps of one of Brad Pitt's former co-stars and girlfriends. Here she is topless and baring her bum in a shower scene from "The Stepfather" (1987).
|Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie
|Gman 'caps the dynamic duo wearing skimpy outfits on their surprise hit series on FOX, "The Simple Life".
|Topless in something called "Haggard: The Movie" (2003). Directed by and starring MTV "Jackass" guy, Bam Margera.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the busty B-movie babe topless in scenes from what appears to be her last movie, 1991's "Mission: Killfast".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
WOMEN'S ATTRACTIVENESS INDEX DISCOVERED
Most Attractive Number: A 10 - Scientists in Hong Kong claim they've
developed a formula for calculating the female attractiveness index. They
had 50 people look at 3D movies of female silhouettes of different shapes
and sizes and rate them. They say men made a snap decision about a woman
just by looking at her rough body volume, rather than any specific
features. From this, they developed a complex volume-height formula that
involves dividing a woman's volume in cubic meters by the square of the
distance between her chin and feet. The resulting number explains 90
percent of a woman's attractiveness to men.
Of course, the other 10 percent contains all the really good stuff.
They don't know if this works on real women because these scientists
have never seen one.
Guy who are no good at math just tend to like the biggest boobs.
A man's attractiveness index is calculated by multiplying his height
times his bank balance.
"AVERAGE JOE" GETS HIS PICK OF GIRLS
Him, Or Any Other Millionaire - The next round of NBC's "Average Joe" will
have a new twist: average-looking, nice-guy millionaire Adam Mesh, who was
rejected by a beauty queen in favor of a hunky waiter, will be the man
women compete for. Mesh told the New York Post that NBC got tens of
thousands of e-mails from women wanting to meet him. He said it will be
really strange to be on the other end of picking from among 20 women who
It's nice that the women can look past his face to the money behind it.
One shocking twist: they're all average-looking, too.
Of course, he'll choose the most beautiful one.
OLD MOVIE CAR CHASES STILL THE BEST
No "Blues Brothers?!" Recount!! - In a poll of 5,500 film fans by Choices
Video, the 10-minute chase through San Francisco in Steve McQueen's 1968
movie "Bullitt" is still the best car chase ever. The original 1974 "Gone
in 60 Seconds" was second, followed by "The French Connection." Other top
10 slots went to "Smokey and the Bandit," "Mad Max 2" and "Goldfinger."
The only recent movies were #4 "Ronin" (1998) and #10 "Die Another Day"
It's harder to do car chases now...Everybody's driving like that.
These days, the first person the hero cut off would go into a fit of
road rage, pull out a gun and kill him.
Maybe if "Cold Mountain" or "The Last Samurai" had a car chase, people
would want to see them.
ORGY ON "TOP MODEL"
Move This Show To Cable! - Tyra Banks said she was helping to edit the raw
footage for her UPN series, "America's Next Top Model," when she was
startled to discover that four of the women engaged in an on-camera orgy
with four men. The incident will appear on the show, blurred and heavily
Still, look for it during Sweeps Week.
Well, I guess we know who the four finalists are.
I'm shocked! She found FOUR male models who weren't gay?!
Let's pray this never happens on "Average Joe."
BRITNEY BELIEVES IN THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE
"I'm, Like, Totally Sanctimonious!" - In a phone interview with MTV,
Britney Spears blamed Las Vegas for her quickly-annulled marriage. She
said, "I do believe in the sanctity of marriage, I totally do. But I was
in Vegas, and it took me over."
It totally did!
Didn't she also totally believe in remaining a virgin?
Yeah, Vegas has a way of making people forget about the sanctity of