s5, e15

The raunchy, pulpy series returns with the stuff we love: sex, violence, and graphic surgery. OK, I admit I don't really like #2 and #3, but #1 makes up for it.

The blonde is Alison McAtee, the brunette Cyia Batten.

I don't know much about Alison, but Cyia has been around for years. Way back in 2001 we saw her in an episode of Red Shoe Diaries, then about a year ago we saw her in the hot tub with Tom Hanks in Charlie Wilson's War.


The 18 Year Old Virgin


High school has just ended. It's the night after the last day of senior year, and that calls for a big party. Katie, the class brainiac, has decided to lose her virginity at last, to the boy she has been dreaming of since 6th grade. She just goes up to him and asks outright, but he says "no." He says that he likes her and fancies her, but he recently had a traumatic experience with a virgin, and he just can't handle any more drama.

This seems like the end of the world to her, because he's her "soul mate," and he's leaving the next day to spend the entire summer with his dad. She is crushed until her fun-loving friend points out that the dream need not die. The problem has a simple solution. The party has just begun, so Mr. Soul Mate will be there for several more hours. All Katie has to do is lose her virginity to someone else first, then hop in the sack with the dream guy. Surely somebody at the party will volunteer to help her out! Maybe the plot-obligatory "best friend" kid? Maybe the well-hung expert in tantric sex? Maybe the sex addict and his two love-muffins? How about the masochistic exchange student?

She then goes through a chaotic series of misadventures, until ...

Well, I won't spoil the ending for you, because it's kind of cute. Anyway, if you have ever seen a film with a similar set-up, you'll quickly guess how it will turn out. The predictability of the resolution doesn't matter, because this is a highly entertaining genre film. Is it a great movie? Well, it won't get any Oscar nominations, if that's what "great" encompasses, but it is great in the sense that it does exactly what it is supposed to do.

There are basically only three things you need from a raunchy youthploitation comedy.

1. It needs to be raunchy.

Check. It is filled with non-stop sex and nudity, a lot of it quite kinky, and is not coy about portraying the action. It's not a sex film, but it stops just short.

2. It needs to be funny.

Check. There are several witty lines of dialogue, and all of Katie's sexual misadventures are funny set pieces which range from an attempt to shave herself to her assorted failures at cherry-popping. The sex scenes are not only kinky and sexy, but they are genuinely funny!

3. The acting needs to be good enough so that it does not break the fourth wall.

And check. The kids are unknown, but they are real actors. The leads do a good job with their characters, and some of the background players have excellent comic timing.

A couple of the ideas have been lifted from the American Pie films. For example, Katie ends up in a darkened room giving a blow job to an old man in a coma, thus curing him, which is pretty similar to what happened to Stifler and the granny in American Wedding. Other scenes are similar to ones we have seen elsewhere, but nothing is a direct rip-off, just a variation on some familiar theme. After all, movies have been around a long time, and it's difficult to create anything totally original.

One unique element of this film, as opposed to most raunchy "coming of age" stories, is that the script was written by a woman and directed by another woman. It also tells the story from the point of view of the female virgin and her best female friend. That is a great combination. The women bring a fresh point of view to the story, and can portray raunchy acts unabashedly without losing the basic humanity of the sex and the fundamental warmth of the story. 

Damn! I can't believe I'm writing this about a micro-budget, straight-to-DVD exploitation film that nobody has ever heard of, but I thoroughly enjoyed this, found it sexy, and even laughed out loud a few times. I not only recommend this one, but I have been persuaded that more women should make raunchy movies!

Nudity: a lot, and in good light as well! (I was going to make captures, but ran out of time. Maybe some of you guys would like to give 'er a try.)

Olivia Alaina May, the virgin, exposed everything sooner or later, but her frontal scene required her to wear a merkin as part of the comedic premise.

Lauren Walsh, the virgin's best friend, gave up the ol' chest.

There are three naked women in this clip. One is Olivia Alaina May again, this time showing very little. This time she's joined by two party girls: Crystal Baker, and another I can't identify. The two party girls pretty much flash it all, including a shaved frontal from one of them.


  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.









Bram Stoker's Dracula


Love the title. Stoker's Dracula is probably the second most popular, after Mickey Spillane's.

There are many advantages to being Keanu Reeves, one of which is that a topless Monica Bellucci suddenly appears between your legs. Whoa, dude!

1920x1080 film clips of Monica Bellucci and Michaela Bercu. Collages below.




More from this film tomorrow.






Band Camp


Today we have a short clip and caps from American Pie Presents Band Camp, aka American Pie 4, featuring Tara Killian & Jennifer Walcott (the one with darker hair). Not a whole lot of nudity, but very funny, even in German, as a miniature robot spies on the girls in the locker room.



"American Morning"

Over in TV Land it's a "Newsbabe" day with leggy Kiran Chetry on CNN's "American Morning".










Shannon Tweed

Part 6

An assortment of film clips, mostly third party web finds.

Today's clip: Shadow Warriors 2

This is the film with Shannon Tweed and Hulk Hogan.









"Electric Blue"

In order to get any copies of this series, you have to pray to the Tikki gods and sacrifice a few goats. Germany sells a DVD set, but the episodes are heavily cut. I managed to acquire several of the very earliest, uncut episodes and will present them here.

Today: Jewel Shepard. Sample below.








Notes and collages


"Las Vegas"

Nikki Cox. Finishing up Season 2.

s2, e23

s2, e24









Scoop's note: LC beat me to the draw on this, but I guess that's no surprise, since he almost always beats everyone to the draw on everything. I'll write about it tomorrow if I think there's anything to say. It is a new movie with James Franco and Sienna Miller, who are nearly A listers, but it was sent straight to DVD. Not sure why, although the scene in this clip gives off the strong whiff of suckitude.

Sienna Miller in Camille









Saffron Burrows in The Guitar (clips in yesterday's page)


Paz de la Huerta in The Guitar (clips in yesterday's page)


Nikki Coghill in Point of No Return

Claire Forlani in False Witness

Laura Dern in Wild at Heart. Excellent quality.

Emily Wynne-Hughes (first American Idol contestant to make it to the next round)

Abi Titmus upskirt

Rene Zellweger's nude scene in Appaloosa, which was done by a double.


Film Clips

Felicity Devonshire in The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins.

Madeline Smith in The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins.

Alin Sumarwata in False Witness, the same show which gave us Claire Forlani's breasts.

Amy Smart in Mirrors, in 720p this time. Sweet! Captures Below