A Change of Seasons (1980)

A Change of Seasons is a bittersweet romantic comedy - sorta, kinda. Hannibal Lecter is an English Professor who is married to 40ish Shirley Maclaine and having an affair with 20ish Bo Derek to reaffirm his continuing sexual appeal during his midlife crisis. (You go, Doctor Lecter!) Ol' Shirley comes to the conclusion that she may as well make the best of the situation, so she finds her own young lover and reaffirms her own attractiveness. Once everybody is reaffirmed, the four of them decide to go on a skiing weekend together for some reason or another. While they are embarrassing the crap out of each other, their daughter shows up to announce that she's lost the love of her life. Then Bo Derek's father shows up. Then the daughter's boyfriend shows up. Hilarity ... doesn't ensue. It isn't really a comedy at all, but a sort of meditation on getting older without getting wiser. It's not very good as a drama either. The plot unfolds like a talky two-act play with two sets and a small cast, the dialogue is artificial (especially the daughter's boyfriend, who makes speeches rather than statements), the direction is pedestrian, and the whole thing gets resolved sadly and ambiguously.

The author, or at least one of the authors, is Erich Segal. If you are under 40 that name probably doesn't mean a thing to you. If you are a baby boomer, you probably have the feeling that you should know who he is, but can't quite bring him up to the top of your consciousness. You'll remember when I tell you, because ten years before this film came out, he had his full fifteen minutes of fame. He's the Ivy League classics professor who went slumming long enough to write "Love Story," the incredibly successful script-turned-novel-turned-film. It was actress Ali MacGraw who found the script and took it to her husband, Robert Evans, the executive vice-president of Paramount. Although the script had already been widely shopped and rejected, Evans chose to back it as a starring vehicle for his wife because, "I thought it might be a good, small, profitable, trend-bucker away from all those 'now' movies I hated." While the script was being made into a movie, Segal turned it into what he called a "one-sitting" quickie novel. The book was a runaway best seller, thus building up anticipation for the movie. The film itself was virtually a license for Paramount to print money. It was produced for two million bucks and grossed more than the GDP of Western Europe, finishing as the top-grossing film of 1970. Why? There are many theories, and I suppose the most prevalent is that the simple, apolitical, old-fashioned and conventional Love Story seemed to be an anodyne for the divided nation's suffering during the darkest days of the Vietnam era.

Whatever, dude. There's more than a whiff of bullshit in that theory, but there's probably some truth to it as well. Evans obviously was not the only one sick of "now movies," and he made exactly the right call.

Whatever the explanation, there is no denying that in 1970 the book and the film were ubiquitous, as was Segal, who seemed to be on Johnny Carson or Merv Griffin constantly, first that summer when he promoted his book, then again in December when the film came out. He was younger (33) and hipper than our image of a classics professor, so he seemed pretty cool at first, but by the end of that year he was over-exposed and it seemed that pretty much everyone was sick of Segal and his made-for-Hallmark catch phrase, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," which adorned about 103% of the girl's t-shirts in the world.

For reasons which have never been very clear to me, the film version of Love Story was honored by the Academy, which nominated it for seven Oscars, including five major ones (best ... adapted screenplay, actor, actress, director, picture). Its nomination for the best picture Oscar and the nomination of Ali MacGraw as the best actress remain two of the most embarrassing moments in Academy history. Pauline Kael, the New Yorker's legendary film critic, said that "... its venality and infantilism make us reach for the barf bag instead of the Kleenex." Whatever lightning had sparked the success of Love Story, Segal could never really capture it in a bottle. The sequel, Oliver's Story, bombed with both the critics and the public, as did A Change of Seasons, the movie I'm supposed to be writing about here. A subsequent screenplay called Man, Woman and Child earned him some respect, but not many simoleans, although it had been a successful book. His fifteen minutes having expired in the film world, Segal departed from the top of the public consciousness, but has continued to this day to write both bestsellers and scholarly books.

As for A Change of Season. Well, you already know that it features Hannibal Lecter in love with Bo Derek, as scripted by the author of Love Story. What more do you need to know?

Actually there is one more interesting tidbit. This film was already "in the can" when Bo Derek was transformed from an obscure pretty girl into the sex goddess of a generation. Bo's career-making 10 came out in October of 1979. When that happened, the director of this film called Dr. Lecter and Bo back for some more footage of them making nice-nice. The result of that was the opening credits, in which Bo and the Doc frolic wordlessly in a hot tub - in slow motion!! My kind of exploitation. Unfortunately, the opening sequence is the highlight of the film in more ways than one. Once the film actually begins, Bo keeps her clothes on except for a brief peek-a-boo tease behind a frosted shower door. Although this film opened at the height of Bo's popularity and during the lucrative period between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it could muster no better than $16 million at the box office, and was soon forgotten.

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I did love the theme song:

Oh, you don't wanna be a rejecter

When your suitor is Hannibal Lecter ...

I-in love

Chorus:

Lecter in Love, Lecter in Love

He's gonna eat her below and above

You're gonna need a protector

If your boyfriend is Hannibal Lecter ...

I-in love

Chorus:

Is he a lover or a meat inspector?

No, he's just Hannibal Lecter ...

I-in love

Bo Derek

Other Crap:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

"Hidden Beauties"

Hidden Beauties (1999) is a soft core that has Michelle Hall, Catalina Larranaga, Hall's brother, and her boyfriend visiting a castle she is to inherit. The lord of the castle died when the three women he was engaged to compaired notes, and then screwed him to death. A devoted Nikki Fritz cast a sleep spell on them, and kept up the castle for 100 years. The sleeping beauties are awakened, and everyone finds the perfect partner. Now all that remains is to break the spell so everyone can get to the happily ever after part.

This film does as good a job on photographing nudity as I have seen in a soft core effort. All of the women are seen clearly in a huge variety of positions, resulting in a huge image count.

Tonight, we have the nudity from Nikki Fritz, who seduces Hall's brother, and Catalina. All of the women in this film give three B performances.

Tomorrow night, the other women, and the rest of the review.

Catalina Larranaga Nikki Fritz