Monday


Notes
NOTE TO ALL: Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his daily column, Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

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Tuna
"Jade" (1995)

Jade (1995) is a whodunit type thriller staring Linda Fiorentino in the title role, Chazz Palminteri as her wealthy attorney husband, and David Caruso as a wannabe DA who once dated her and still loves her. When one of the wealthiest men in town is murdered, and photos are found in his safe of the governor with an obvious hooker, Caruso is sure this is the case that will win him his boss's job. When the evidence starts pointing to Fiorentino, life gets more difficult. Highlights include a great chase through San Francisco, and spectacular views of China Town and the waterfront.

The best line of the film is delivered by a female cop. They have just discovered a house obviously used for sexual assignations, and equipped with more adult toys than 42nd street in New York. Another cop suggests she try some. She says," Honey, if I were you, I would rip off a couple of those butt plugs ... they are designed for the perfect asshole." There are plenty of plot twists, a semi-ambiguous ending, and exposure from both Fiorentino, and from Angie Everhart as a dead hooker. The video release has 12 minutes more than the theatrical release. The film is pretty much universally disliked with IMDB at 4.4/10, and the critics ranging from 1 to 2 stars. Budget was $50m, and gross was $9.795m. I thought it was watchable, although I hated Palminteri, who plays a pompous ass.

  • Thumbnails

  • Angie Everhart body double (1, 2)
  • Linda Fiorentino (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "Benny & Joon" (1993)

    This has been a banner month for great films with no nudity. Normally, I stick to films with exposure for projects, but occasionally the images in a film are so memorable for me I have to cap them. This fable of a possibly mentally disturbed girl (Mary Stuart Masterson), her mechanic brother (Aidan Quinn) who has taken care of her since their parents were killed in an auto accident, and the dyslexic and eccentric young man that wins her heart (Johnny Depp) is just such a film. Masterson "wins" Depp in a poker game, and her brother reluctantly agrees to let him stay with them. For Depp and Masterson, the attraction grows quickly, and Quinn is won over when he sees Depp perform Keaton schtick in a park. Note that Depp did actually learn all of the business seen in this film, and did many of his own stunts as well.

    Eventually, Depp and Masterson become intimate. Quinn finds out, and kicks Depp out of the house. When Depp and Masterson try to run away together, she suffers an anxiety attack on the bus, and is institutionalized. We are treated to fresh insight when she tells her brother at the hospital, "You need me to be sick so you don't have to face your life." The reason this fable works so well, is twofold. First, everyone in the film gives totally endearing performances, and second, it is right on the edge of reality and believability, so it is not too much of a stretch. The film relies on the audience caring about Masterson and Depp, and I have never met anyone who saw this film and didn't.

    Maltin says three stars, Berardinelli didn't get it, and gave it 2 stars, while applauding parts of Depp's performance. Ebert agrees with Maltin at 3. IMDB readers say 6.6/10 -- very high for a romantic comedy. Benny & Joon grossed $23.202m. The DVD is a very credible effort with a decent transfer, director's commentary, deleted scenes, and unusual footage from the filter/makeup/costume color tests which were all done at the same time to save budget. I found it interesting to watch them see how much shadow was ideal for each performer's face by turning on different intensity lights on the shadow side. This is a GREAT date film.

  • Mary Stuart Masterson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    I took a look at three films. Not much nudity, but I sure enjoyed the two images I found!

    100 Girls - An intelligent independent coming-of-age comedy once touted as the next American Pie, which has still not been able to achieve a US distribution deal. They hope to get it out in the summer of 2001. I liked it! Read my review for the full story.

    Marissa Ribisi (Grown Ups) did a brief topless scene, and Katherine Heigl (Roswell) played strip foosball down to her bra. You will not mind at all when you see this woman and her Jumbo Jacks playing a very enthusiastic foosball game, jumping up and down like crazy, wearing only a bra on top. I had to lie down for a while to get my heart back to normal.

    Both of these are composite images. With poor quality images to work with, I used two different images to make the Heigl picture, superimposing a clear red bra shot with no background over an almost-identical bra shot that had a good background, but not as clear a shot of Heigl.

    The top of the Ribisi picture is actually six adjoining frames stitched together. Her eyes and breasts were never in the same frame, but there's no question that it's really her. The frames matched perfectly, her mouth was in the same frame as the breasts, and it's clearly the same mouth as in the pure facial shot. (I overlaid them to be certain, and made the top layer 50% transparent. She was kind enough not to move, so the fit was 100% perfect.)

    Katherine Heigl (non nude)

    Marissa Ribisi

    Flushed is pretty much a stand-up comedy schtick, a cinema verite real-time film about conversations overheard in two public lavatories in a dance club. I laughed a lot. There was some funny and really off-color humor, but no nudity.

    Unforgiven - Clint Eastwood's anti-Western that won Best Picture in 1992. (No female nudity)


    Tomcat did Agnieszka Suchora and Kasia Skrzynecka in the usual unpronounceable but beautifully filmed movies. Not much nudity from Kasia, but Suchora did an outdoor full-frontal. Most important, TomCat kept up his streak of consecutive actresses with a z in their names.

    Suchora 1

    Skrzynecka (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Graphic Response
  • Barbara WilliamsTopless as well as a little peek down below from the 1984 movie "Thief of Hearts".s

  • Brainscan
    As tradition has it, stretching back to the dawn of time, Brainscans of each generation take it upon themselves to provide their tribe with hectares, metric tonnes, parsecs or megabytes of images on national holidays. So, fellow tribesters, here you are. And though this may not be Christmas, tis good to celebrate this day, and what better way than with babes of many lands.

  • From Russia, Anna Kournikova. Good news, she's wearing something translucent. Bad news, she's wearing something underneath something translucent. But she's still Anna, world-class athlete, universe-class beauty.

  • From the U.K. there is Jordan, sometimes known as Katie Price, sporting her new, turbo-hooters. Have you noticed how she used to pose topless a lot more when she had the old, reliable and natural hoots? Maybe she's as broken-hearted as we are. And there is Leilani Dowding, former Miss U. K. from the Megastar site, cleaned up and sharpened just because I like her.

  • From Italy, Manuela Arcuri. Scans are from her 2001 calendar. How could anyone let such an ugly, flat-chested woman pose for a calendar? (1, 2)

  • From Argentina, model and sometime actress Mariana Fabbiani.

    Staying in the Southern Hemisphere, we have Sandra Muoz, a fashion model from Colombia. You said once, Junior, that the women in Colombia are among the most attractive on the planet. I see what you mean.

    Jr Here...Columbia? Did I say that? I thought I said Montreal, Canada ;-)

  • From France, Virginie Ledoyen, with way too many clothes on.

    And from the U. S., we have:

  • 1) Kitten Natividad in her most younger days, when she was still attractive; (1, 2)
  • 2) Tylene Buck, aka Major Gunns, out of the wresting ring and into the pool; and..
  • 3) Tyra Banks, the American answer to Laetitia. I think Tyra and Kate Moss ought to get together on the following deal: Kate will keep her clothes on a lot more this year and Tyra will take hers off a lot more.

  • UC99
    Vera Tschechowa
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Boobs and bum exposure from the German actress, going back to the mid 70's for these 'caps from "Das Amulett des Todes"

    Claudine Wilde
    (1, 2)

    Topless, a bit of pubes, and a more explicit action goin' on in these 'caps from "Erotic Tales: Das rote Strumpfband"

    Karin Faber Pretty spicy stuff for 1957! No nudity, but pretty darn close.
    Celeblover
    Claudine Wilde More of Claudine from "Erotic Tales: Das rote Strumpfband". Similar to UC99's 'caps but with a few extra images.

    Nina Muschallik Cleavage and pokies from "High Explosive". Nina'a only other credited role is as 'Verushka' in "The World Is Not Enough".

    Stefanie von Pfetten Breast exposure from the blonde actress in 'caps from the German movie "Amokfahrt zum Pazifik".
    French Pic
    Delphine Brodeur
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    French-Canadian actress in vidcaps from "L'Invention de l'amour". Fully nude, but breast exposure only.

    Melissa Hellman and Johanna Nemeth
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
    9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,
    15, 16, 17, 18, 19,
    20, 21, 22)

    A whole bunch of 'caps featuring lesbo lovin' from "Cynara: Poetry in Motion".

    Here are the highlights:

  • Topless exposure: Links #2,4,15
  • Hot Lesbo love scenes: Links #5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,16,17,18,19,20,21,22
  • Frontal nudity: Links #3

  • Pascale Montpetit and Delphine Brodeur
    (1, 2)

    From "L'Invention de l'amour"

    Pascale Montpetit
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Also from "L'Invention de l'amour"

    Sylvie Moreau
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
    9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    Another French Canadian actress...Topless in all 13 of these 'caps from 1999's "Post Mortem".
    and ...
    Matleena Kuusniemi
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Excellent topless, love scenes, and frontal nudity from the movie Finnish "Levottomat". Great job by ABYS.

    Jaime Pressly
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Topless, as well as a little bum exposure from "Poison Ivy: New Seduction". 'Caps by PAC.

    Daryl Hannah
    (1, 2, 3)

    From 1982's "Summer Lovers". Mostly bikini stuff, but #3 has a little bit of boob and bum exposure. Vidcaps by DeVo.

    Adriane Galisteu
    (1, 2, 3)

    Hot Brazilian babe.

    Liv Tyler Familiar but always welcome breast exposure from "Stealing Beauty". Vidcaps by Freakie.

    Kate Moss One more topless B&W from the ultimate Kate Moss fan...Blackshine.

    Kirstie Alley New to us in the Fun House...NMD found these pokies from the horrible "It Takes Two". Talk about a bad cast...take Kirstie at her film career lowest, add the Olsen twins, mix and serve with a side order of Steve Guttenberg!

    Raelee Hill A saucy red-head from Down under going topless, and doing a darn fine job at it if you ask me! Not sure of the source.

    Sally Kellerman Exposing the goods at age 57! Vidcaps from 1994's "Prt--Porter", by DeVo.

    Sarah St James Better known to B-movie fans as Jacqueline Lovell of course. Here's a collage from one of her photo shoots featuring some images from the gyno-cam.


    Click Here!