"A Smell of
Honey a Swallow of Brine" from Tuna
A Smell of Honey a Swallow of Brine
(1966) is a pre-exploitation masterpiece
from Dave Friedman when he was teamed
with Dan Soney. It is a roughie shot in
his Cordova Street studio in B & W,
and was the last B & W he shot. The
choice was not because it is so much
cheaper, but in this pre-couples porn
period, they were after the stag film
crowd, and gave them a familiar look. He
wrote and shot the film because he
wanted something else in the can staring
He was lunching with Dan Soney in Santa
Monica when an attractive young girl
came up asking for a handout to buy a
hot dog. He discovered that she left
Texas, dropping out of school, and
arrived in Santa Monica penniless. He
cast her in The Notorious Daughter of
Fanny Hill, and was very taken with her
looks. Fearing that she would become a
big star and out of his reach, he
decided to make this film.
Dave wanted to call it C. T, but was
afraid that too many people wouldn't
know that meant cock tease, which is a
two word summary of the film. Newspapers
rejected Maneater and some other title,
so he settled on this one. He appeared
twice in the film.
As the film opens, Walker is necking
with a young man in a car, he gets
carried away, and she screams rape, and
has him tried and convicted, even though
no rape ever occurred. We see her play
the same game with several more guys,
and even her lesbian girl friend, Linda
Gearheart, until she tangles with the
wrong man, and she gets her comeuppance.
Both show breasts and buns, and there
are brief hints of bush from Walker.
Walker married soon after, and
disappeared from show business. This
film also disappeared until Something
Weird Video discovered a work print
somewhere. It is not in very good shape,
but then the genre was never supposed to
look perfect. Through the dirt and chips
and scratches though, you will notice
great camera angles, sharp focus, and
good framing. I was not surprised to
learn that the DP was none other than
László Kovács. This is a truly awful
film, and is only of interest to those
like me who are fascinated by the era
and those who made these films. For me,
the feature length commentary From
Friedman alone is worth the DVD price,
and there are two more films yet to come
from the same DVD. This is a C-, barely,
as a roughie.
Linda Gearhart (1,
Stacy Walker (1,
Web (Uncle Scoopy)
vs Jason (2003):
Man, I dropped a bundle on this match.
Kruger was a heavy favorite, but I bet
on him to cover the spread, and the
underdog Jason won a hard-fought contest
- by a head, if you catch my drift.
Rumor has it that Kruger bet a bundle
on Jason and took a dive. Isn't that
just so typically evil? I should have
suspected a problem when I saw Kruger
talking to Pete Rose.
My money will be on Jason in the
upcoming Rocky vs Jason, cuz Stallone is
I suppose that everything you need to
know about this movie can be summed up
in the Yahoo summary. Critics Grade: C.
(Yahoo scores rarely go any lower) .
Members score: A- (Yahoo scores rarely
go any higher).
It is not the kind of movie which
Newspaper critics love. A formulaic
genre movie with no real attempt at
crossover appeal, it is a shallow
Hollywood trifle to the more
intellectual reviewers. The British
reviews were scathingly harsh, averaging
less than one star out of four,
according to The Guardian's summary.
Audiences don't care about the same
things. They go to movies like this to
see teenagers get carved up in new and
nasty ways by super-villains, and then
to see buckets of blood flow when the
baddies turn on one another. This puppy
took in $82 million at the box office.
Some of the genre film websites really
liked it, citing as reasons:
- the excitement of the final battle
scene between the monsters
- buckets of blood and guts
- the comedy provided by Freddy's
wisecracks and a stoner dude. ("Whoa,
that goalie dude is pissed"). The
stoner seemed to think he was in
"Freddy vs Jason Mewes"
Odessa Munroe. (1,
In a couple of these, I moved the
images toward natural flesh tones
instead of the blue day-for-night
Diaries: Swimming Naked (First
aired- April, 1997):
Well, now that Kristi Frank is
semi-famous (she is on that hot new
reality show The Apprentice - the one
where they compete to suck up to Donald
Trump), it's time to take a
comprehensive look at her stark naked
appearance on Red Shoe Diaries.
According to the episode guide, this was
aired in April of 1997.
- Thumbnails (1,
- Kristi Frank (1,
In case the link in
Other Crap gets killed, here are
some nude pictures of Catherine
Bosley, the news anchor who was
fired when her nude pictures hit the
Can you say rip-off? I
went through the DVD for Out of
Order - the underwater scene has
been severely expurgated. Some
frames have been cut. Some body
parts have been cut off by the
widescreen transfer. Some of the
frames which have not been cut have
been artificially darkened. Here are
the frames you will miss with the
In the first one, you will actually
see Dickens grab Stoltz's schlong.
In the second one, Stoltz's twig and
berries make several appearances -
in places that you'd expect them to
be if he and Dickens were really
goin' at it. Pretty hot stuff - but
NOT on the DVD. (Tuna did a
brilliant job on the frames actually
in the DVD - see Tuna's film
Shiloh sent in some more
You might want to look at this one
Annual Weblog Awards
Nominate your favorite weblogs for the
Bloggie awards to be presented at SXSW
Interactive. You could nominate, for
example, Other Crap (OtherCrap.com),
in five or ten categories, and/or you
could nominate sites that actually
deserve to win.
We now return to our broadcast:
- An era has ended. Eastman
Kodak Co. on Tuesday said it will
stop selling traditional film
cameras in the United States,
Canada and Western Europe.
In a related story, Nathan's announced
it will stop selling hot dogs and get
into digital imaging technology.
- Bush leads
Dean in California, 51%-35%.
NapkinNights.com clubbing in
- The Sun
has additional pictures of
FreakingNews.com - Photoshop
Contest: "Madonna endorsing
General Wesley Clark in the
Poll Analyses - Americans
generally worried about
immigration, oppose new Bush plan.
- Ted Nugent
was injured on the set of his
reality show when a chain saw cut
through his leg. The
chain saw appears to be unharmed, but
will have to be sanitized.
pressed against glass.
Gallery: Planet Nude at the
Riverboat Nudist Club.
The Tampa Nudist Club Photo Shoot.
- The 100
Most Often Misspelled Words
Jones and the Temple of Venus.
Horny geezers gone wild!
Billionaires for Bush
Fans Fill Web With Buzz Over IPO.
"Some Fear Big Changes in Little
Search Engine That Could." I agree. As
a publiuc corporation with a profit
motive and responsibility ot provide a
return to shareholders, it will have
to approach solutions with a different
goal - not "what is best", but "what
is most profitable".
says, "Neve getting naked!":
Neve says her "first nude scene has
just been shot for James Toback's WHEN
WILL I BE LOVED."
- HBO's 'Sex
and the City' and 'Six Feet Under'
dominated the Directors Guild of
America nominations unveiled
Tuesday for the annual DGA Awards.
Review has a mini-preview of the
- Matt Damon
interested in playing Logan in
Logan's Run remake.
Rumor holds that Bryan Singer wants to
be the director. He would certainly be
the right guy for the job, as would
Damon. Unfortunately, all of this is
speculation at this point.
- Today's report for capital letter
REPORT 2004: "RAW RAGE AT BUSH
DURING MOVEON.ORG AWARDS"
collects racist Americana.
As I always point out, human artifacts
consistently show that our race has
always been deluded, racist, and
horny, not necessarily in that order.
If this subject interests you, you
should rent Spike Lee's movie,
researcher from the University of
Wisconsin at Madison has figured
out a better way to slice cheese -
just use a laser. "At
any other university, people would
have just laughed. But this is
Wisconsin. It's cheese. And this is no
- You know the woman who found the
condom in her soup? Seems like she
always gets a condom in her soup, or
something actionable. She sued Taco
Bell in 1996 over coffee spilled in
her lap. Oh, and then there were other
Smoking Gun has the goods.
- Jon Stewart analyzes why the
President grants amnesty to all
the White House gardeners.
Butterfly Effect (2004) - Trailers
& Clips. (Ashton
Kutcher time-travel thingy)
ABCNEWS.com : A Proposed Math Quiz
for Presidential Candidates
- A larger version of the
bouncing boobies .gif
- The demotivators calendars from Despair,
recommended by the directors of 21
Grams and House of Sand and Fog.
- I you haven;t already, you should
probably bookmark The Darwin
Awards, which honor
those who improve our gene pool by
removing themselves from it.
Funderstanding Roller Coaster
The challenge: to create a roller
coaster that works. Teaches a bit
about physics and engineering.
- Top Secret
Recipes on the Web. How
to duplicate the stuff you like from
of the Boy Scout
- The real countdown begins: Lingerie
Bowl 2004 : Commercial
liberal Holland has come down hard
on a new enemy - white socks.
- Weekly World News: "A leading
physicist claims to have figured out
why the U.S. Postal Service loses a
lot of mail and delivers most of the
rest late -- post
offices are 'architectural
anomalies' that cause time warps.
Norwegian chick seeks Mr Right
makes a surprise appearance on
Bares All In Wet T-Shirt Contest,
- Here are the
got news anchor Catherine Bosley
fired. The girl stripped stark naked,
photographed front and rear. She looks
adorable, despite implants.
Hilton tops Mr. Blackwell's annual
Blackwell says "from cyber disgrace to
red carpet chills -- she's the vapid
Venus of Beverly Hills!". Whatever,
dude. You have to stop lunching with
- Bill Nighy
and Martin Freeman are set to
topline sci-fi comedy The
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
re-shooting in the Exorcist
prequel. Paul Shrader
is no longer on the project, and Renny
Harlin has taken over as director. 90%
of the film to be re-shot? Some of the
principal actors could not or were not
invited back for the re-shoot. Things
Simpson headed to the big screen:
"In 'Walk On' to be directed by Walter
Hill ('48 Hours'), Simson will play
the Texas high school sweetheart of
baseball legend David Clyde, who saved
the Texas Rangers from going bankrupt
in 1973. "
- John Woo
making a musical. I
didn't make that up.
- God in
trouble again - for telling man to
play toreador in a lion cage.
Buenos Aires police currently have God
in custody and are questioning him.
- Tinfoil hat dudes - get ready for
some new conspiracy theories. NASA's
Mars probe means big bucks for -
guess which American corporation..
Hints (1) drilling (2) two "l's"
Screener Copy of "Something's
Gotta Give" Found Online.
This could get interesting because
this time, the MPAA knows exactly
whose copy it was - veteran actor
very cool tool for high-tech
police sketch artistry
Irresponsible Use of Frogs - A
short animated film by Philip
'REFLECTOPORN' HITS AUCTION SITE
- This is not exactly "reflecto", but
it gives you the idea - Elmo Ebay
now has a nice compact index page
that lets you find info for all
upcoming pictures at a glance.
Bertolucci's 'The Dreamers,' will
mark the first time in more than
six years that a studio belonging
to the Motion Picture Assn. of
America has distributed a film
- It's the
Last Call for 'Frasier' after 11
- moveon.org has announced the winner
of their competition for the best
anti-Bush spot at:Bush in 30
Seconds . (Whether you
like or hate the President, you have
to admit that is quite a good little
30 second spot - subtle, not strident,
but emotionally powerful.)
Actor-Writer Spalding Gray
Here's something I'll bet you didn't
know about him: according to Maltin's
film encyclopedia, the famed
monologist once "had a major role in a
hard-core sex film,The Farmer's
Daughter. He was billed under his own
name and given extensive dialogue,
making identification positive, even
though he later denied having appeared
in the film."
- Kum &
Go Convenience Stores ????
Maddeningly difficult game of
Other Crap archives.
May also include newer material than the
ones above, since it's sorta in real
Click here to submit a URL for
inclusion in Other Crap
Here are the
latest movie reviews available at
- The yellow
asterisks indicate that I wrote
the review, and am deluded into
thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white
asterisk, it means that there
isn't any significant humor, but I
inexplicably determined there
might be something else of
- A blue asterisk
indicates the review is written by
Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or
somebody else besides me)
- If there
is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am
too ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Sirens was made in 1994. Canya believe
it? A whole decade? Not a thing left to
say. Elle Macpherson, Portia de Rossi,
Kate Fischer, Tara Fitzgerald and Pamela
Rabe nekkid. Pic any one of the first
three, add either of the last two and
bingo, you would have yourself a winner.
But all five?! The sine qua non of
Since this movie has been capped very
frequently and very well I chose to
dwell on a few of the many scenes. That
includes the posing scenes in which the
artist's models move very little, but I
still grabbed a bunch of frames and
stuck them together because....well,
because I wanted to. Mea culpa, in
advance. I did cap the bejeebers out of
the nighttime baptism scene, 'specially
Elle, because there is just no such
thing as too many pictures of that woman
- Elle Macpherson (1,
- Tara Fitzgerald (1,
|Both ladies are topless in
scenes from the 1997 movie "The Real
|Lame movie, but fantastic
nudity in the 1994 movie "Men of War". The
exotic Lewis is simply gorgeous topless.
|'Caps of Halle gettin' it
on and winning an Oscar for her role in
going full frontal in scenes from her
first movie, "The Initiation" (1984).
|Playing a topless dancer in
scenes from Guy Ritchie's breakthrough
hit, "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"
|The co-star of "Resident
Evil" and "The Fast and the Furious"
wearing some tight tank tops in scenes
from "S.W.A.T." (2003).
|All 3 B's in something
called "Raw Adventures". I'm not sure what
"Raw Adventures" is, but it could be
another name for her only IMDb credit,
"The Great Bikini Off-Road Adventure"
|The virtual girlfriend from
the Governator movie "The 6th Day" looking
great in a bikini, and even better topless
in scenes from "The Groomsmen" (2001).
'Caps by C2000.
|Toplessness and some
excellent, up close and personal bum views
in scenes from the straight-to-video
flick, "Shredder". 'Caps by the Skin-man.
Pat's comments in yellow...
NO MORE "FRASIER," NO MORE "FRIENDS"
NBC has to pinch
pennies now because they'll really
need them after "Frasier" and
"Friends" are gone.
They can use the
money they save to order up more
episodes of "Coupling."
when he's being snubbed!
This leaves NBC
with nothing but sitcoms that people
only tune in to see if they've gotten
Here's Where "Must-See TV" Ends - NBC
announced that this will be the last
season of "Frasier." They'd hoped to
continue it, but Kelsey Grammer, the
highest-paid man on TV, refused to take
the big pay cut they demanded. NBC also
denied a tabloid report that they'd
agreed to pay the "Friends" cast $2
million each to film a reunion movie
that would air next Thanksgiving.
Just get rid of
it! Pour it down the drain!
conditions, I wouldn't be able to use
All of these
labels seem to be aimed at people who
are too stupid to read.
Be sure to
remove the warning label from the lure
before using it, so the fish don't
(For more of
these, see our book, "Nine
Hallmarks of Highly Incompetent
WORST WARNING LABEL CONTEST WINNERS
Warning: Lawyers Are Harmful To Your
Mental Health - The Michigan Lawsuit
Abuse Watch released the winners of
its 2003 awards for the wackiest
warning labels (www.wackywarnings.com).
Finalists included a fishing lure with
three hooks labeled "Harmful if
swallowed"...A 12-inch CD rack labeled
"Do not use as a ladder"... and a sled
labeled "Beware: sled may develop high
speed under certain snow conditions."
The winner was this illogical warning
on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you
do not understand, or cannot read, all
directions, cautions and warnings, do
not use this product."
But as a
criminal case, this is just small
computer is the cheap Russian knockoff
version of an Apple computer.
They offered to
send it back to the factory to have
the potatoes converted into chips.
He should keep
it: a computer loaded with potatoes
works better than a computer loaded
COMPUTER FULL OF POTATOES
Not A-peeling - An electronics store
in Kaiserslautern, Germany, was
baffled when a man returned a computer
he had just bought, complaining that
instead of computer parts, it was
packed with small potatoes. They gave
him a free replacement, but they
became suspicious when he returned
soon after with another computer full
of potatoes, this time saying he
didn't need a computer anymore and
wanted a cash refund. Police are
investigating him for fraud.