"A Smell of Honey a Swallow of Brine" from Tuna

A Smell of Honey a Swallow of Brine (1966) is a pre-exploitation masterpiece from Dave Friedman when he was teamed with Dan Soney. It is a roughie shot in his Cordova Street studio in B & W, and was the last B & W he shot. The choice was not because it is so much cheaper, but in this pre-couples porn period, they were after the stag film crowd, and gave them a familiar look. He wrote and shot the film because he wanted something else in the can staring Stacey Walker.

He was lunching with Dan Soney in Santa Monica when an attractive young girl came up asking for a handout to buy a hot dog. He discovered that she left Texas, dropping out of school, and arrived in Santa Monica penniless. He cast her in The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill, and was very taken with her looks. Fearing that she would become a big star and out of his reach, he decided to make this film.

Dave wanted to call it C. T, but was afraid that too many people wouldn't know that meant cock tease, which is a two word summary of the film. Newspapers rejected Maneater and some other title, so he settled on this one. He appeared twice in the film.

As the film opens, Walker is necking with a young man in a car, he gets carried away, and she screams rape, and has him tried and convicted, even though no rape ever occurred. We see her play the same game with several more guys, and even her lesbian girl friend, Linda Gearheart, until she tangles with the wrong man, and she gets her comeuppance. Both show breasts and buns, and there are brief hints of bush from Walker.

Walker married soon after, and disappeared from show business. This film also disappeared until Something Weird Video discovered a work print somewhere. It is not in very good shape, but then the genre was never supposed to look perfect. Through the dirt and chips and scratches though, you will notice great camera angles, sharp focus, and good framing. I was not surprised to learn that the DP was none other than László Kovács. This is a truly awful film, and is only of interest to those like me who are fascinated by the era and those who made these films. For me, the feature length commentary From Friedman alone is worth the DVD price, and there are two more films yet to come from the same DVD. This is a C-, barely, as a roughie.

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  • Linda Gearhart (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
  • Stacy Walker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Freddy vs Jason (2003):

    Man, I dropped a bundle on this match. Kruger was a heavy favorite, but I bet on him to cover the spread, and the underdog Jason won a hard-fought contest - by a head, if you catch my drift.

    Rumor has it that Kruger bet a bundle on Jason and took a dive. Isn't that just so typically evil? I should have suspected a problem when I saw Kruger talking to Pete Rose.

    My money will be on Jason in the upcoming Rocky vs Jason, cuz Stallone is gettin' old.

    I suppose that everything you need to know about this movie can be summed up in the Yahoo summary. Critics Grade: C. (Yahoo scores rarely go any lower) . Members score: A- (Yahoo scores rarely go any higher).

    It is not the kind of movie which Newspaper critics love. A formulaic genre movie with no real attempt at crossover appeal, it is a shallow Hollywood trifle to the more intellectual reviewers. The British reviews were scathingly harsh, averaging less than one star out of four, according to The Guardian's summary. Audiences don't care about the same things. They go to movies like this to see teenagers get carved up in new and nasty ways by super-villains, and then to see buckets of blood flow when the baddies turn on one another. This puppy took in $82 million at the box office.

    Some of the genre film websites really liked it, citing as reasons:

    • the excitement of the final battle scene between the monsters
    • buckets of blood and guts
    • the comedy provided by Freddy's wisecracks and a stoner dude. ("Whoa, that goalie dude is pissed"). The stoner seemed to think he was in "Freddy vs Jason Mewes"


    • Odessa Munroe. (1, 2, 3, 4) In a couple of these, I moved the images toward natural flesh tones instead of the blue day-for-night tint.


    Red Shoe Diaries: Swimming Naked (First aired- April, 1997):

    Well, now that Kristi Frank is semi-famous (she is on that hot new reality show The Apprentice - the one where they compete to suck up to Donald Trump), it's time to take a comprehensive look at her stark naked appearance on Red Shoe Diaries. According to the episode guide, this was aired in April of 1997.




    • In case the link in Other Crap gets killed, here are some nude pictures of Catherine Bosley, the news anchor who was fired when her nude pictures hit the internet. (1, 2, 3)

    • Can you say rip-off? I went through the DVD for Out of Order - the underwater scene has been severely expurgated. Some frames have been cut. Some body parts have been cut off by the widescreen transfer. Some of the frames which have not been cut have been artificially darkened. Here are the frames you will miss with the DVD. (1, 2) In the first one, you will actually see Dickens grab Stoltz's schlong. In the second one, Stoltz's twig and berries make several appearances - in places that you'd expect them to be if he and Dickens were really goin' at it. Pretty hot stuff - but NOT on the DVD.  (Tuna did a brilliant job on the frames actually in the DVD - see Tuna's film archive.)



    • Scoop. In the image in Sunday's issue (1/11/04) of Kim Penn, there is a mirror in the lower left corner shot.  I believe that mirror is revealing more than was expected.  Any chance Johnny Web (or some one else) can re-cap this frame full screen?



    Movies from Shiloh:

    Shiloh sent in some more winners today:



    You might want to look at this one first (hint-hint):

    • Fourth Annual Weblog Awards Nominate your favorite weblogs for the Bloggie awards to be presented at SXSW Interactive. You could nominate, for example, Other Crap (, in five or ten categories, and/or you could nominate sites that actually deserve to win.

    We now return to our broadcast:


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Sirens was made in 1994. Canya believe it? A whole decade? Not a thing left to say. Elle Macpherson, Portia de Rossi, Kate Fischer, Tara Fitzgerald and Pamela Rabe nekkid. Pic any one of the first three, add either of the last two and bingo, you would have yourself a winner. But all five?! The sine qua non of A-list exposure.

    Since this movie has been capped very frequently and very well I chose to dwell on a few of the many scenes. That includes the posing scenes in which the artist's models move very little, but I still grabbed a bunch of frames and stuck them together because....well, because I wanted to. Mea culpa, in advance. I did cap the bejeebers out of the nighttime baptism scene, 'specially Elle, because there is just no such thing as too many pictures of that woman topless.

    Bridgette Wilson
    (1, 2)
    Catherine Keener

    Both ladies are topless in scenes from the 1997 movie "The Real Blonde".

    Charlotte Lewis
    (1, 2)

    Lame movie, but fantastic nudity in the 1994 movie "Men of War". The exotic Lewis is simply gorgeous topless.

    Halle Berry
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    'Caps of Halle gettin' it on and winning an Oscar for her role in "Monster's Ball".

    Hunter Tylo
    (1, 2)

    The supermodel/actress going full frontal in scenes from her first movie, "The Initiation" (1984).

    Crimson Ghost
    Laura Bailey
    (1, 2)

    Playing a topless dancer in scenes from Guy Ritchie's breakthrough hit, "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" (1998).

    Michelle Rodriguez
    (1, 2, 3)

    The co-star of "Resident Evil" and "The Fast and the Furious" wearing some tight tank tops in scenes from "S.W.A.T." (2003).

    Laura Hudspeth
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    All 3 B's in something called "Raw Adventures". I'm not sure what "Raw Adventures" is, but it could be another name for her only IMDb credit, "The Great Bikini Off-Road Adventure" (1994).

    Jennifer Gareis
    (1, 2, 3)

    The virtual girlfriend from the Governator movie "The 6th Day" looking great in a bikini, and even better topless in scenes from "The Groomsmen" (2001). 'Caps by C2000.

    Holly Towne
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    Toplessness and some excellent, up close and personal bum views in scenes from the straight-to-video flick, "Shredder". 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Here's Where "Must-See TV" Ends - NBC announced that this will be the last season of "Frasier." They'd hoped to continue it, but Kelsey Grammer, the highest-paid man on TV, refused to take the big pay cut they demanded. NBC also denied a tabloid report that they'd agreed to pay the "Friends" cast $2 million each to film a reunion movie that would air next Thanksgiving.

  • NBC has to pinch pennies now because they'll really need them after "Frasier" and "Friends" are gone.
  • They can use the money they save to order up more episodes of "Coupling."
  • Frasier knows when he's being snubbed!
  • This leaves NBC with nothing but sitcoms that people only tune in to see if they've gotten funny yet.

    Warning: Lawyers Are Harmful To Your Mental Health - The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch released the winners of its 2003 awards for the wackiest warning labels ( Finalists included a fishing lure with three hooks labeled "Harmful if swallowed"...A 12-inch CD rack labeled "Do not use as a ladder"... and a sled labeled "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions." The winner was this illogical warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."

  • Just get rid of it! Pour it down the drain!
  • Under those conditions, I wouldn't be able to use ANY product.
  • All of these labels seem to be aimed at people who are too stupid to read.
  • Be sure to remove the warning label from the lure before using it, so the fish don't read it.
  • (For more of these, see our book, "Nine Hallmarks of Highly Incompetent Losers")

    Not A-peeling - An electronics store in Kaiserslautern, Germany, was baffled when a man returned a computer he had just bought, complaining that instead of computer parts, it was packed with small potatoes. They gave him a free replacement, but they became suspicious when he returned soon after with another computer full of potatoes, this time saying he didn't need a computer anymore and wanted a cash refund. Police are investigating him for fraud.

  • But as a criminal case, this is just small potatoes.
  • The potato computer is the cheap Russian knockoff version of an Apple computer.
  • They offered to send it back to the factory to have the potatoes converted into chips.
  • He should keep it: a computer loaded with potatoes works better than a computer loaded with Windows.