Snapdragon (1993) is an erotic thriller staring Steven Bauer as a police psychiatrist, Chelsea Field as his detective main squeeze, and Pamela Anderson as the villain. Field is promoted to a homicide investigation from vice, and is sure she has a serial killer on her hands. She asks Bauer to do a psychiatric profile for her. His best friend, also a shrink, introduces him to an amnesia patient, Pamela Anderson. Bauer becomes obsessed with the murders, and hooked on helping Anderson.

Complete spoilers follow.

The murders are peculiar enough. Men who seemingly have nothing in common are fucked, their throats slit, and a black scarf place over their eyes. A Chinese symbol is found on a mirror in the room, and there are no fingerprints. They suspect an oriental woman, except that they find blonde pubic hair on all of the victims. Long after we know beyond all reasonable doubt that Anderson is the killer, Bauer figures out that she has multiple personality disorder, and is actually the killer. Then, in a flash of screenwriting genius, it is not multiple personality disorder at all, but the dread surprise evil twin. And, still giddy over the clever twist of cliches, Field shoots the wrong twin at the end, and the guilty girl goes free, clearly to leave room for a sequel.

End spoilers

As if all of this weren't enough, Anderson gave the most nearly competent performance in the film. Bauer and Field were especially bad. Anderson does show her robo hooters to good advantage more than once, and buns in a thong. IMDb readers have this in the right neighborhood at 3.5 of 10. Assume that bad acting with a little nudity in the genre is around C- level, then deduct one halff letter each for multiple personality disorder, surprise evil twin and sequel friendly ending, and add half a letter for lack of an evil dwarf, and this is an D-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Pamela Anderson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Hi, y'all. I'm taking a mini-vacation. I'll still be digging up some other crap every day, and will chip in with some movies as well, but not with my usual volume of verbiage and such!

    Other Crap:


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS


    As Bodas de Deus (1999)

    "As Bodas de Deus" (1999; God's Wedding) is a Portuguese movie I never seem to have time to watch. I might as well send in the clips that keep sitting on my harddrive from it though. The film is written and directed by João César Monteiro, who also plays the lead role. Apparently Deus, in his sixties, is given a lot of money and in these clips you can see he spends it on the "good life". The film rates high among male voters on the IMDB, but doesn't impress the female voters very much. Maybe men are more likely to enjoy the theme of  "an old guy doing in good looking girls"?
    João César Monteiro died from cancer two years ago and it looks like he was already affected by the disease in this movie. This even seems obvious in the love scene with Joana Azevedo, who looks very healthy though and gives a full frontal performance. Ana Velazquez and Rita Durão don't go further than topless. We don't have Portuguese actresses very often on this page, so all three actresses are newcomers to the Fun House.

    A quick site note
    Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at

    If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!

    Paparazzi Round Up
    • Professional party girl Tara Reid wearing a bikini and knocking back some beer at the beach.

    • Jennifer Love Hewitt also in a bikini. (1, 2)

    Johnny Moronic
    'Caps and comments by Johnny Moronic:

    Erotic Tales is a series of short films (about 30 min long) about erotic fantasies. You've probably come across some of these through your travels, but most likely you haven't, and every once in a while, the local multicultural channel runs some (to which it is currently doing so).

    Some of them are OK, but most are flat out stupid. What you'd pretty much expect from arty directors. But at least they have nudity.

    I have featured 5 here and will probably do more in the future (there's one that features Jason Lee's hot wife Beth Riesgraf called The Summer of My Deflowering that I'm hoping to do soon). Some are in Digital TV quality, and some a just old analog cappings.

    • Renata Dancewicz in bares all 3 B's in "Devilish Education". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    • Theresa Russell also bares all 3 B's. Scenes from "Hotel Paradise". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    • Hetty Baynes shows a bit of nipple while wearing lingerie and playing with a vibrator in scenes from "The Insatiable Mrs. Kirsch" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Gosia Dobrowolska topless and showing a little rear nudity in "Touch Me" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Claudia Karvan, the Aussie actress topless and showing brief views of the other 2 B's in more scenes from "Touch Me". Look for her on the Big Screen this May in "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    • Cynda Williams partial breast and bum views (obscured by suds) in scenes from "Wet" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Maria Ford
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    Julie Strain
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The Skin-man takes a look at the 1993 direct-to-vid movie "The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter". Ford mostly shows off her bum, with a little bit of pre-implant breast views here and there. Strain shows off her robo-big'uns and moons the camera in scenes from the DVD special features.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    And Older Women Are More Grateful - Recently-divorced "Sex & The City" vixen Kim Cattrall says she's decided to emulate her character and sleep around. She said, "In my 20s and 30s, I was a serial monogamist," but now that she's 48, "I'm going to swing." She's dating a chef 21 years her junior because, she said, "Sex is about opening yourself to someone else. Younger men are less frightening and less tentative."

  • Until they find out she's FORTY-EIGHT!!
  • Younger men are less frightening naked.
  • If older men are tentative, there's always Lavitra.

    Sometimes, You Have To Hire A Maid! - "Newlyweds" stars Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, who have denied breakup rumors, expressed sympathy for Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Jessica told "Access Hollywood," "Any marriage is tough. You go through struggles, and it's work"

  • You reading!
  • Occasionally, it's a struggle not to strangle your idiot wife.
  • And that's the truth about words of two or fewer syllables.

    No! - As an experiment on fame for a British TV show, Yes keyboard player Rick Wakeman, who once sold out Madison Square Garden five nights in a row, put on a wool hat and dark glasses and performed as a street musician in York's city center. Passersby mostly ignored him, even though they'd been stopping him for autographs before he put his disguise on. After half an hour of playing, he had earned just 14 pence (25 cents US) in tips.

  • And the police had told him to "knock off that noodling and move on."
  • The guy on the next corner had made twice that...It was Leo Sayer.
  • Well, he plays much better without a disguise on.
  • Then they had Paris Hilton play "Chopsticks"...She made $10,000.

    Yup... - An audit found that Texas officials spent some of the nearly $600 million in federal money for anti-terrorism programs on "emergency equipment." It was used to carry lawn mowers to lawn mower drag races.

  • Hey, you never know where you might have to mow down a terrorist!
  • And did any terrorists attack the lawn mower races? No!
  • Heads rolled over this! Texas officials fired every one of the auditors.