Rejected Dr Seuss Books:
  • Herbert the Pervert likes Sherbert
  • One bitch, you bitch
  • Fox in detox
  • Horton hires a Ho
  • The flesh-eating Lorax
  • How the Grinch stole Columbus Day
  • Your colon can moo - can you?
  • The cat in the blender
  • Marvin K Mooney, get the fuck out.
  • Oh, the places you'll scratch and sniff
  • Horton fakes an orgasm
  • The Grinch's 10 inches.

  • The Punch Poll. You vote on the funniest punchline for this set up: "What was wrong with those power-crazed dictators? Apparently Lord Acton was wrong and absolute power doesn't quite corrupt enough. Lenin got his own personal country and he chose to ban ... religion. Given absolute power, Hitler chose to ban modernism, and Mao Westernism. Schmucks! If I had my own country, I'd leave those things alone, and do something worthwhile with my absolute power, like banning ......" Vote here.

    Speaking of which, did you read that Scotland Yard foiled a plan to kidnap Posh Spice. Could this have been the work of The Dinsdale Brothers, and their famous "other, other plan". "OK, if you give us the money, we'll set her free". "Oh, sorry, mr Kidnapper, but I must say we'll get back to you on that". "No, wait, I meant if you give us the money, we'll keep her, or that is to say if we don't receive the money we'll keep her ... I mean we'll return her ... no, wait ... we'll give you the money and we'll also keep her ... hey, don't hang up"

    Members Bonuses- Cleopatra

    a What the hell prompted me to watch this mess? A network TV miniseries released on DVD, featuring Leonor Varela. What can I say? Bad acting, rewritten history, cheap looking painted backgrounds. Most of the actors used the "Xena/Hercules" convention of portraying the ancients with modern speech and mannerisms.

    In the reign of Caesar, Billy Zane portrays Marc Antony as if he were Frank Sinatra without the hat. leads to an inspiring funeral oration. "Man, that kooky Caesar was a ring-a-ding, koo-koo kind of Roman, but let's bury the cat, not call him cool, if you can dig me, cause the cats that brought him down are going to sing a funky tune when I wail on them." But at the end, Billy Zane is a chickenshit, weepy Marc Antony.

    Rupert Graves is a sissified Augustus, with the mannerisms and disposition of a catty 13 year old girl. He reminded me of Sid James, that guy who played Antony in "Carry On, Cleo" which, by the way, was a better movie than this.

    On the historical side, Marc Antony gets to be fatally wounded in battle surrounded by hundreds of enemies, like Davy Crockett at the Disney Alamo. (It is generally believed that Augustus forced Antony to commit suicide, although history is written by the winners, so other interpretations are possible, I guess.)

    It is a nice DVD transfer, and the photography is clear and colorful, sometimes with a hint of visual inspiration, so you do get some candy for your eyes if none for your hearts and minds.

    One other redeeming point: I did like Timothy Dalton's Julius Caesar. At least he had the big presence and voice to portray a man so much larger than life, and he chose to portray him in the aloof classical style, not in the accessible Xena/Hercules tradition, although this seemed out of place compared to the rest of the cast. If you know the accomplishments of the real Caesar, you can believe Dalton's portrayal over those of Rex Harrison, Louis Calhern, Guinness, Gielgud, or some of the others that came before. Although I still have to give the nod to Dom DeLuise in "History of the World".

    Leonor Varela is Cleopatra, and she's a great looking woman who just can't deliver a line naturally. (Mostly nipple visible through clothing. Except the last two, which are mostly a waste of time. Not nearly as good as I expected the viewing to be.)

    Members Bonus

    One Fish, Two Fish
    Tuna's comments: "This is long-time TV star (and Miss New Hampshire 1976) Jane Badler's only known exposure, and a very hard film to find. The film itself is a rather pedestrian murder and intrigue story with Jane playing the oppressed woman who lures an ex-cop/pool shark/bar owner into helping her by seducing him. Lots of fairly predictable plot twists here, but worth the watch for the modest exposure by Jane."

    (#1, #2, #3, #4)

    Blinky has mostly Jane Bradbury and a couple miscellaneous.

    Jane Bradbury (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6) Kim Iglinsky Larissa Bondarenco

    FR has two collages of Miou-Miou in "Of Jonah, who will be 25 in the year 2000"

    (#1, #2)

    Yesterday: Ali, from Dartfod, Kent. (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4)

    Page Three Gold is Lisa Erikson from 28th September 1988. Also Sandra Jane appears in the viewer's requests section. (#1, #2)

    WhyScan's Page Three report appears here exclusively, and every day if I don't screw up! His earlier posts are archived in our subscription area. Click here to sign up or get info

    + Ever wonder what the Playboy, Page Three, and other softcore models do when not modeling for Playboy or the British tabs? Fred does. Fred, or as he is known in the ancient Elventongue, "Frodo", specializes in "outing" the harder action from these ostensibly wholesome girls. Today's comments:

    "Nikki Nova is very proud of her Italian heritage, so proud in fact that she chose to be Nikki Italiano when she appeared a Playboy BOL. Here she takes it a step further is she tries to make herself into a canoli - "Nova Canoli".

    (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10 #11, #12, #13, #14, #15)

    Cave Dweller More exploits of the "Killer B's". You have to see the ones of Kira Reed, who is getting more daring all the time.
  • Lisa Comshaw
  • Lisa Comshaw
  • Lisa Comshaw
  • Tammy Parks
  • Taylor St Claire
  • Kira Reed

  • Snowblind . His first group is from "Contes Immoraux", the "true" story about that wacky fun-lovin' Hungarian countess who bathed in virgin blood to stay young. I believe her name was Dic Clarque.

    Paloma Picasso Paloma Picasso Florence Bellamy Lise Danvers Charlotte Alexandra You will find more of his caps,with thumbnails, here.

  • DonBun presents Amy Lindsay in "Forbidden Sins"
  • Graphic Response returns from his hiatus with Cindy Crawford in "Fair Game"
  • NWAR scans two of CZJ in the new Harper's (no nudity, but new images, nice cleavage)
  • the other Zeta
  • Slarti has Mariella Ahrens in The Desert Rose
  • Pitters has Amanda Holkden in The Grimleys. (non-nude)
  • unsigned Melinda Messenger in FHM (bikini)
  • unsigned Dannii in FHM (bikini)
  • topless Fernanda Lima parodies "Got Milk?"
  • Nexus scan of Kelly Brook in FHM with her buns essentially bare
  • topless Elizabeth Nottoli from Bimbo Gigi
  • Click Here!