|Rejected Dr Seuss Books:|
|The Punch Poll. You vote on the funniest punchline
for this set up: "What was wrong with those
power-crazed dictators? Apparently Lord Acton was wrong
and absolute power doesn't quite corrupt enough. Lenin
got his own personal country and he chose to ban ...
religion. Given absolute power, Hitler chose to ban
modernism, and Mao Westernism. Schmucks! If I had my own
country, I'd leave those things alone, and do something
worthwhile with my absolute power, like banning
Speaking of which, did you read that Scotland Yard foiled a plan to kidnap Posh Spice. Could this have been the work of The Dinsdale Brothers, and their famous "other, other plan". "OK, if you give us the money, we'll set her free". "Oh, sorry, mr Kidnapper, but I must say we'll get back to you on that". "No, wait, I meant if you give us the money, we'll keep her, or that is to say if we don't receive the money we'll keep her ... I mean we'll return her ... no, wait ... we'll give you the money and we'll also keep her ... hey, don't hang up"
Members Bonuses- Cleopatra
|a||What the hell prompted me to
watch this mess? A network TV miniseries released on DVD,
featuring Leonor Varela. What can I say? Bad acting,
rewritten history, cheap looking painted backgrounds.
Most of the actors used the "Xena/Hercules"
convention of portraying the ancients with modern speech
In the reign of Caesar, Billy Zane portrays Marc Antony as if he were Frank Sinatra without the hat. leads to an inspiring funeral oration. "Man, that kooky Caesar was a ring-a-ding, koo-koo kind of Roman, but let's bury the cat, not call him cool, if you can dig me, cause the cats that brought him down are going to sing a funky tune when I wail on them." But at the end, Billy Zane is a chickenshit, weepy Marc Antony.
Rupert Graves is a sissified Augustus, with the mannerisms and disposition of a catty 13 year old girl. He reminded me of Sid James, that guy who played Antony in "Carry On, Cleo" which, by the way, was a better movie than this.
On the historical side, Marc Antony gets to be fatally wounded in battle surrounded by hundreds of enemies, like Davy Crockett at the Disney Alamo. (It is generally believed that Augustus forced Antony to commit suicide, although history is written by the winners, so other interpretations are possible, I guess.)
It is a nice DVD transfer, and the photography is clear and colorful, sometimes with a hint of visual inspiration, so you do get some candy for your eyes if none for your hearts and minds.
One other redeeming point: I did like Timothy Dalton's Julius Caesar. At least he had the big presence and voice to portray a man so much larger than life, and he chose to portray him in the aloof classical style, not in the accessible Xena/Hercules tradition, although this seemed out of place compared to the rest of the cast. If you know the accomplishments of the real Caesar, you can believe Dalton's portrayal over those of Rex Harrison, Louis Calhern, Guinness, Gielgud, or some of the others that came before. Although I still have to give the nod to Dom DeLuise in "History of the World".
Leonor Varela is Cleopatra, and she's a great looking woman who just can't deliver a line naturally. (Mostly nipple visible through clothing. Except the last two, which are mostly a waste of time. Not nearly as good as I expected the viewing to be.)
|One Fish, Two Fish|
|Yesterday: Ali, from Dartfod,
Kent. (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4)
WhyScan's Page Three report appears here exclusively, and every day if I don't screw up! His earlier posts are archived in our subscription area. Click here to sign up or get info
|+||Ever wonder what the Playboy,
Page Three, and other softcore models do when not
modeling for Playboy or the British tabs? Fred does.
Fred, or as he is known in the ancient Elventongue,
"Frodo", specializes in "outing" the
harder action from these ostensibly wholesome girls.
"Nikki Nova is very proud of her Italian heritage, so proud in fact that she chose to be Nikki Italiano when she appeared a Playboy BOL. Here she takes it a step further is she tries to make herself into a canoli - "Nova Canoli".
|Cave Dweller||More exploits of the
"Killer B's". You have to see the ones of Kira
Reed, who is getting more daring all the time.
|Snowblind||. His first group is from "Contes Immoraux", the "true" story about that wacky fun-lovin' Hungarian countess who bathed in virgin blood to stay young. I believe her name was Dic Clarque.|