Cable Round-Up

Californication made its season premiere last night. We've seen these scenes before, but not in 720p:

 Addison Timlin (samples below)


Shameless finally hit the air.

Shanola Hampton

Emmy Rossum (samples below)


  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.






Malin Akerman film clips (samples below)



Tara Frederick still caps:



Cheerleaders Wild Weekend


Some movies, stuck in videotape limbo, cry out for a first rate digital treatment, if not BluRay then at least DVD. The Wrong Man, for instance, screams "digitize me, high def please," for only then will the Rosanna Arquette stripping scene find its place at the top of the heap, all-time best topless performance by a woman of significant celebrity. At a much lower rung on the ladder is the movie entitled Cheerleaders Wild Weekend. Was filmed in 1979 for next to nothing and the only copy I had watched until a week ago was a second-generation videotape. Capped that bad boy a time or two, with the kind of quality that brings a cold sweat to the brow. No matter, because it is now available on DVD with the alternative title of The Great American Girl Robbery. The only celebrity (of B- variety) is Kristine De Bell and she gives up none of the goods, except to walk around braless in a tight blue cheerleader outfit. A few other women are sort of, kind of semi-hemi-demi-recognizable and they do get nekkid. There is Marilyn Joi, who was 34 when the movie was made and still she plays a high school cheerleader (??!!!!!). She earned roles in a bunch of movies including this one by showing off her impressive pair of hooties but did I mention she was 34 when she showed them in this film? Wally Ann Wharton reveals her own superstructure repeatedly in this and a few other films and she is a decade younger. Elizabeth Halsey and Janie Squire were each topless in Cheerleaders and in one other movie and Leslie King, also topless here, went on to write and direct a few movies, none of any particular distinction. Joan Wolf, Janet Blythe, and Courtney Sands were one hit wonders - see them here and nowhere else. But the star of the show, IMHO, is Lenka Novak, who is credited here as Hana Byrbo. Lenka was a true natural wonder, with an angelic countenance and a form like mortal sin. She posed for the Hefmag a time or two and has four or five skin-revealing performances to her credit, but... and this is why Cheerleaders was her last movie for almost a decade... she could not act to save her life. Truly horrible at it, which is too bad because she could been somebody with all those outstanding physical features.

So I have caps and clips of these women. The highlight of the movie comes around the 30-minute mark when Wally Ann, Marilyn, Elizabeth, Leslie, Janie and the divine Lenka strut around as though in a topless beauty contest and then continue the toplessness into a dance routine. All of that is followed by a T & A bath scene with Lenka and Courtney. We are talking several minutes of hooterville. Before that we have a Janet shower scene and a performance on a bus as Wally Ann and Joan Wolf compete to distract a yokel so that he runs his pickup off the road. And then there is this odd fight scene in which Marilyn loses her top. After the prolonged sequence of all-natural hooties everywhere you look, there is nothing, nada, zilch. Makes the last half of the movie hopelessly boring.

One of the highlights of the DVD was a set of stills. Janet Blythe is the star of the most impressive ones, some were taken during the shower scene and others were during a deleted sport-humping scene that was cut from the final print because of the rape elements to it. Both sets of stills show Janet in her full-frontal glory - the only evidence that any of these gals possessed equipment south of the waistline. And then there were stills of the catwalk and dance scenes but these scenes were shot under odd lighting conditions and the results tend to be uneven. No matter - they are welcome additions. Wish they had included all the outtakes of the dance scene but who am I to quibble?

Bottom line here is simple - the movie is a miserable mess of loose plot points and idiotic premises, spiced by performances that were often compelling enough to make you wish this had been done by someone with some idea how to make a movie. That would have made this a must-see for any and all of my fellow Funhouse readers, a veritable Citizen Kane of toplessness. Instead? Well here is the best the movie has to offer.



Courtney Sands

Elizabeth Halsey

Janet Blythe

Janet Blythe shower stills


Janet Blythe deleted scene


Janie Squire


Janie Squire - bonus features

Joan Wolf

Kristine DeBell

Lenka Novak

Leslie King

Marilyn Joi

Wally Ann Wharton



Film Clips

Maria Bello in The Company Men (This will come out in about two weeks. Samples below)

Kristen Stewart in Welcome to the Rileys (2010, 720p, with brightness adjustments, see below)

Lotte Andersen in Album (2008; sample below)

Mia Lyhne in Album (2008; sample below)

Mette Gregersen in Album (2008; sample below)

Rebecca Immanuel in "Edel & Starck: Mit Haut und Haaren" (2005; sample below)

Susanne Storm in Rejseholdet (early 2000s; sample below)

Hendrikje Fitz in "In aller Freundschaft: Liebschaften" (1999; sample below)

Chrissy Schulz in "Rosamunde Pilcher: Wind ueber dem Fluss" (1997; sample below)



Rawia Elchab in Under the Bombs