Written by Scoopy today.
Contact junior by writing firstname.lastname@example.org. Contact Scoopy by writing email@example.com. Contact Tuna by writing firstname.lastname@example.org. Send submissions to
Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or
Netscape 6..2.1 is available free for download or on CD.
MSIE 6.0 is available free. For those of you who think Netscape is
totally clueless, I have to report that they have actually created a
fairly competitive browser for the first time since 2.0! It's probably
too late to salvage their rapid market share decline, but at least it's
Baise-Moi is one seriously bad movie that gained some notoriety by being banned in France. Think about that. Think of the stuff they allow in France, and imagine what you'd have to do to get banned. Unfortunately, the daring of the project wasn't matched by any competence. 99% of the frames are out of focus. Of the remaining frames, 99% are grainy or dark or both.
My pics below are raw screen caps. It is new to Region 1 DVD, but ICMS did this film on Region 2 DVD, way back in June! You'll find his pics in the back issues, June 29th
- Baise-Moi (
The following are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
"The Anniversary Party"
On the surface, it should have been an ideal project, with a
cast that includes Jennifer Jason Leigh, Gwyneth Paltrow, Phoebe Cates, Jane
Adams (topless), and Parker Posey (topless). The scenario is neither good nor
bad. It is an Anniversary party for an aging actress and her writer husband, who
are in the sixth year of a rocky marriage. The film starts with the guests
arriving, and moves quietly into boring chitchat, then charades, then everyone
takes ecstasy, two women swim topless, one husband nearly drowns watching them
under water, the dog runs off, the end.
And now you see the problem. Not much happens, it is very talky,
the lit scenes are mostly back-lit, and all of the exposure is in dark scenes.
Berardinelli awards 3 stars, although I couldn't tell why based on his review.
Maltin also says three stars. Both feel that gritty realism, and the fact that
stars play characters very much like themselves, make it a good film. IMDB
readers say 6.8 of 10. US gross was just over $4m, which probably did not even
meet the payroll for this stellar cast.
I found the film incredibly boring, nearly as much as I would
have been bored at the actual party. I had a good deal of trouble staying awake.
I was also unimpressed with the cinematography. The genre is "all night party
where awful truths come out," and I suppose this is a fair example of this
genre, but I will take the Australian film Don's Party over this in a
This film is a C at best.
- Thumbnails (
- Jane Adams (
- Parker Posey (
- Both (
Hello dear Uncle Scoopy !
Here I am with 5 collages of Monica Bellucci (1,
5) from the French film "Le
Pacte des Loups" which will open in American theaters on Friday under the name
of "Brotherhood of the Wolf". It's currently rated 7.0/10 in the IMDb with
women rating it higher than men. I think I am with the women on this one.
The story takes place in the 18th century and is
based on true facts, namely the story of the beast of the Gévaudan. This beast
terrorized this region from 1764 to1767, killing more than 100 women and
children, and was ultimately shot dead. What the beast exactly was and who was
behind it still remains unclear. So far the historical background of the
movie. The film however is not a historical drama about the beast, it is an
action movie with a pinch of mystery in it. The action comes from the special
envoy of king Louis XV, Grégoire de Fronsac (Samuel Le Bihan) and his Mohawk
helper (Mark Dacascos). They end up with the most important family of
the region, the de Morangias. Jean-François de Morangias (Vincent Cassel or
Mr. Bellucci) is in love with his sister Marianne, who doesn't know about her
brother's sick affection. Marianne is played by Belgian newcomer Émilie
Dequenne, winner of the Golden Palm for best actress at the Cannes Film
Festival in the film Rosetta.
THE place however where all the important men of
the region come together is a brothel, with the beautiful and expensive
prostitute Sylvia being the main attraction. Sylvia of course is played by
Monica Bellucci, who else. But she is not simply a prostitute, she too is a
special envoy as is revealed later on in the movie. In fact, although her part
isn't that big, it is she who steers the course of events through her lover de
Fronsac who becomes deeply in love with Marianne. An explanation as why women
liked this film more than men may reside in the fact that the three main male
characters are in part eclipsed by the two female leads, who both put in very
The film's strong point certainly isn't the
script or the mushy ending on a boat, as it's often unclear why some fights
take place and in the second half of the movie everything becomes less
coherent when director Christophe Gans (Crying Freeman) lets his imagination
run wild. But this guy does have a strong imagination resulting in some
beautiful scenes and settings. And that's exactly one of the strong points of
this film. You don't watch this movie for the story, you watch it for the
beautiful scenery and lighting, the multiple camera angles in practically
every scene, the beautiful and historical acccurate costumes and the sheer
beauty of Monica Bellucci. Look for the superb and remarkable scene transition
between Monica's naked body and the snow-covered woods in collages 3 (15) and
4 (16). That's something Lawrence of Arabia didn't have ! But Lawrence was
partly filmed in the region where the story is supposed to take place. In this
film not one single shot was filmed in the region where the events happened.
They mostly filmed in the Pyrenees at more than 200 miles from the Gévaudan
which is situated along the A75 motorway about halfway between Clermont-Ferrand
and the Mediterranean. This region looks magnificent, even from the highway,
so why not film a few scenes there ?
Let me still add some quick snaps of partially
unclad prostitutes in the brothel before I conclude. (1,
It took me almost 11 hours to work my way through
the French Collector's edition DVD. It's a boxset that looks like a book and
consists of 3 DVD's. It was practically immediately sold out but you can still
see all its features at Amazon.fr.
That's it for now. At least I caught on my own 5
collages of Monica Bellucci, in the 18th century they organized a round-up of
40,000 men (the biggest in the history of France) to catch the beast. They
Yours faithfully, ICMS
Scoop, The "Babe in Bondage" (1,
6) is unknown from
she is cuffed naked to the bed. Whoever she was she looked pretty good.
Now this was such a big
blockbuster hit that it had no ending
credits. There were four actresses
that it could have been.T hey were all such big
stars that only one of
them ever did another movie.
For the "Lite" we have Gina Gershon (1,
2) showing us
her boobs in "Showgirls"
and Jennifer Esposito (1,
2) looking sexy in "Summer of Sam". Sorry, no nudity from her
So whatta ya do when your stuck in some leaky cabin for eight days with no
scanner and only a laptop to play with? Well, if you plan things right you work
on a boat load or, in this case, a hard drive full of vidcaps, mainly of the
Tuna variety. Stand by to be boarded.
- First up is a collage put together from raw caps sent in by an old
classmate who does banking stuff in Madrid. This is a righteous dude who even
left it up to me what his nom de cap should be. Silly bastard. Named him
after a small town in Florida. So the caps are of a terminally cute redhead
named Carolina Bona, from the
movie Torrente 2.
- And then there was this second redhead,
Adrianna Sulti with all B's a-showin'
in Tender Hearts. Ahna Capri
is a cult fave in the shop. These are El Kabong caps from Enter the Dragon.
- Allison Lange (1,
2) is a beauty who Tuna caught in
the bathtub from the movie Christina's House.
- The lovely, the yummy Angelina Molina (1,
2) in That Obscure Object of
Desire. Two things to consider about this movie: 1) I generally hate the
French movies that make their way to the U. S.. There are a few exceptions
and 2) Obscure Object is one of them. What can you say about a movie that has
two mega-babes (Angela and Carole Bouquet) playing the same role? Saw this
puppy maybe twenty years ago and I still think about it from time to time,
which ain't faint praise as dementia overtakes me
- Ann Wolf in Abyss. Ann's a bit of
chubster, but she has sure-enough nice god-given hooters. Doesn't mind
showing them off either.
- Antonia Ellis in Percy.
Plays one of man's favorite characters: a nurse who get nekkid on duty.
- Arielle Dombasle playing
one of boy's favorite roles: your dad's younger girlfriend, who is willing to
hump you, too. This is from the Red Shoe Diaries episode, aptly named Like
Father Like Son (alternatively, Like Father, Screw Son).
- Aurore Clement from one of
the added scenes in Apocalypse Now Redux.
- Ava Cadell in the Ahhhnold
movie, Commando. This shoulda been a much better action flic and could have
been if: 1) Arnold's character had taken an inventive tack in wreaking
revenge, rather than shoot up and blow up everything in sight; 2) More Rae
Dawn Chong. She almost saved it with a portrayal that Sandra Bullock
perfected in Speed. Less clothing on Rae Dawn would have been a plus; 3) Wait
three years until Alyssa Milano was 18 and then get her seriously nekkid
as well as held against her will. But then Hankster would have already capped
every frame of that one. Anyway, Ava's scene and Tuna's caps are another
example of why the digital revolution just kicks ass: she is shown either
briefly from very very far away or very very briefly close up. In Tuna's caps
you can actually recognize her.
- Barbara Sukowa (1,
2) in the Sicilian. For you
scifi fans, she was the tv miniseries Space. Here she shows the full range of
- Brandy Herred in Umpire's
caps of Some Call It Loving. Cannot for the life of me remember anything
about this flic except the Brandy scene. She auditions or something for the
main character, first topless in a cheerleader's skirt (complete with pompoms)
and then full frontally nekkid. He just walks out in the middle of the
performance. Why? F...cked if I can remember. But I like the camera angle
of this scene and think Ms Herred has a bodacious set of tatas. 'Course
that's why I remember it.
- Britt Ekland with a brief view
of her mini-hooters in Percy.
- Carmen Maura with some
see-through action in Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.
Right. That covers half the women in the western world, 90% of the women in
this fair city of New York.
- CC Costigan (1,2
) in Wildflower. You get some implied les be friends action in the second
collage, and even though CC is thoroughly nekkid you see only the upper B's in
- Christina Marsillach
in Opera (otherwise known as Terror in the Opera); Christina is the sister of
Bianca Marsillach, who has revealed more of the goodies in her career.
- Erika Nann as the least
undressed babe in Die Watching.
- Gina Jourard getting all
soaped up in Novel Desires.
- And finally, someone we all recognize:
Holly Hunter in JohnnyWeb's caps
of Harlan County War. You know for a scrawny serious actress, Holly has an
impressive list of scenes topless and otherwise.
- Hammer Productions babe Ingrid Pitt
in The Wicker Man.
- Isabelle Huppert in
Cactus. The lighting is so muted you can't see any of her freckles. What a
- Jenni Hetrick in the
terminally stupid, criminally lame Squeeze Play. Just thinking about this
movie gets me pissed off.
- Jessica Alba in Paranoid. No,
she is not nekkid and no, that is not a nip slip. But that is the side of one
breast there and this is, after all, the divine Ms Alba.
- Karen Field in The Butcher,
also starring King Tut himself, Victor Buono, as The Butcher.
- Karen Glave (1,
2) as a subtly sexy object of
someone's desire in Last Night.
- Kate Rodger in Last Stand. I
like Kate; seems to always play an action character who strips down at
some point in the course of things.
- Okay, then a couple of Gen Z, A-list babes:
Kate Hudson in her 500 milliseconds
of toplessness in About Adam, and
- Keri Russell in Eight Days a
Week. Pulled these caps off usenet and was really confused for a while.
Didn't recall seeing them or anything like them in the Funhouse. Of
course, I was wrong: The Funhouse would NEVER miss something like Keri
Russell in some stage of undress. But this very brief scene deserved
more attention... or so I thought. (Scoop's note. I
really like Keri, and 8 Days a Week, and the work of director Mike Davis. Not
only is he talented and interesting, but he has been a supporter of the
Funhouse, even writing a portion of the article for
100 Girls. We have run lots
of caps from 8 Days a Week, and would LOVE to have more, but the damned thing
isn't on DVD yet!)
- Okay, this isn't the end of things but I gotta go pretend to work. We end
with Leigh Betchley busting out
the robohooters in Novel Desires. A word to the producers: when it comes to
desires, nothing is novel.
Freakie is still working on the endless project, namely Kerry Fox in
Ellen ten Damme in Conamara
Julia Brendler in Moondance
Heike Makatsch in "Die Affare
Eva Herman on her
Tiffany-Amber Thiessen (1,
Liv Tyler in Lord of the Rings
- beautiful non-nude collage from Hi-Tek
Feedback from a visitor
I'm not entirely convinced on this Jagger story one: look
who's denying it, Jagger's people. Plus check this story from WENN (it'll be on
MICK JAGGER SEX TAPE OFFERED FOR SALE BY 18-YEAR-OLD LAPDANCER
Singer MICK JAGGER's libido has got him into trouble again - a Las Vegas
stripper is trying to sell a video of the pair reportedly having sex.
The ROLLING STONES frontman is said to be fuming after learning of an
18-year-old blonde lapdancer, known only as IRIS, plans to
make $60,000 (£42,000) from the video she claims was recorded when she spent the
night in Jagger's hotel suite last October (01).
Iris, operating through Las Vegan agents HARRY LIME MANAGEMENT, says she met
the 58-year-old in a shopping mall when Jagger was in town for the RADIO MUSIC
AWARDS. Mick gave her his room number at THE ALADDIN HOTEL, and Iris claims she
joined him in his luxurious penthouse - and went straight to the bedroom.
However, Iris claims that their steamy sex session was recorded by mistake -
when she accidentally dropped it on the floor.
Jagger has not commented on the allegations, but sources close to the singer
are reported in Britain's DAILY MIRROR newspaper, who
report they have viewed stills from the video, confirm he was staying at the
hotel on October 28 (01). One is quoted as saying, "Mick is free and
single and can do whatever he wants. He well not be very happy about what these
people are trying to do.
"It's a rotten trick." (CPT/WNTMI)
If they've viewed stills they had to come from somewhere.
The book is not shut on this. It would be poetic justice for him to be used by
18-year-old chick, after all the 18-year-old's HE's used.
Scoop's note - what language is this story written in?
"However, Iris claims that their steamy sex session was recorded by
mistake - when she accidentally dropped it on the floor".
What does "it" refer to in that sentence, and why does dropping it have anything
to do with recording?
The Comedy Wire
Pat's words in yellow.
Legitimate news stories from other sources are in white
MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS!
Is That AFTER Taxes? - Two professors at Britain's University of Warwick
have proven that money can buy happiness. Their study of 9,000 families found
that a sudden windfall of 1 million pounds ($1.44 million US) can make people
"euphoric," while just 1,000 pounds ($1,440) can improve people's outlook on
life, although for a shorter time. One professor said money is not the main
factor in happiness, but they did calculate that to turn an average person
into a very happy one with money alone takes a million.
* So Democrats proposed a HUGE increase in the
* My question is, "How do you volunteer for a study like this?"
* They did the study by ringing doorbells and pretending to be from
Publisher's Clearing House.
* They also discovered that when you tell test subjects you weren't serious
about them winning a million pounds, they become angry, violent and
Tuesday, snotty designer Mr. Blackwell released his list of the Worst
Dressed Women of 2001. Counting down from #10, they are:
- Gillian Anderson
- Cameron Diaz ("chaos in heels, period!")
- Camilla ParkerBowles
- Kate Hudson
- Princess Stephanie
- Destiny's Child ("a trilogy of taste-free terror)
- Juliette Binoche
- Britney Spears (the "re-hashed Madonna" fell from #1 to #2)
- Anne Robinson of "The Weakest Link." With her glasses and all-black
cloaks, Mr. Blackwell sneered that she was "Harry Potter in drag."
* I agree with him on Cameron Diaz: she needs to get out of those clothes
Here are a couple of things from the IMDB News.
Beckinsale's Flasher Nightmare
Hollywood fame has it's downside for Pearl Harbor star Kate Beckinsale - men
keep exposing themselves to her. The stunning British actress hit the
Hollywood big-time thanks to her role alongside Ben Affleck in last year's
movie blockbuster. And Kate, has found that with the benefits of being an
A-list celebrity, come the pitfalls. She says she has been flashed at three
times while using London's underground system, and she claims a naked man
jumped out at her as she sat outside a pub. But her biggest shock, she says,
was when a motorist stopped her for help reading a map. She explains, "I need
glasses to read and there seemed to be an obstruction on the map -
then I realized it was his manhood lying on the book."
Russell Crowe's Diet Demand
Hollywood hunk Russell Crowe has been ordered to lose weight by worried studio
bosses. Russell, has piled on the pounds since his 2000
Oscar-winning performance in Gladiator. And now movie executives have told
Crowe he must shed at least 42 pounds if he wants to compete with other
slimmer Hollywood leading men like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. A studio source
told Britain's Daily Star newspaper, "Russell needs to lose that belly if he
wants romantic leading man roles. Hollywood bosses have told him to slim down
soon or forget winning awards in the future." Friends say the actor has turned
to comfort eating to ease his loneliness after splitting from Meg Ryan.
From E! Online, the short version of this sorry tale...
COURTWATCH: Ex-Baywatcher Yasmine Bleeth sentenced today in Michigan to two
years' probation on a cocaine-possession charge. As part of a plea deal, she
must also undergo regular drug tests, serve 100 hours of community service and
pay court costs.
In non-celebrity stuff of interest, from Ananova, here's
a story about a movie that you need to review, but don't eat dinner first:
Man stretchered out of 'disgusting' horror film
Three people collapsed and the rest of the audience walked out in protest at
the Swiss premiere of a Japanese horror film. It is reported they found the
scenes of sex and violence in the film Audition too disgusting. One man had to
be carried out on a stretcher and was taken by ambulance to hospital. He was
later released. Frank Braun, manager of the Riffraff cinema, said they were
thinking of stopping the run but they had been flooded with requests about
tickets. He said: "The man who went to hospital was only one among many that
couldn't cope with the brutality and violence portrayed in the film."
GUEST APPLICATION FOR THE JERRY SPRINGER
Name___________ Nickname______________ CB Handle___________
Yore Mama Name______________ Yore Daddy Name(if known)________________
Relationship to spouse:
___Sister ____Brother ____Mother ____Father ___Pet ___Aunt ___Uncle
___Unemployed Mechanic ___Gun Show Dealer ___Skinhead
Number of Children in Household___ Number that are yours___
Circle Highest Level of Education: 1 2 3 4
How Far is Your Mobile Home From a Paved Road: ___1mi. __5 mi. ___?
Number of Times You Have Survived a Tornado: ___
Number of Vehicles Owned___ Number on Cement Blocks___
Truck Equipment: ___Gun Rack ___Pit Bull ___Spit Cup ___Fuzzy Dice
___Rebel Flag ___Naked Woman Mud flaps ___NWO and/or NRA sticker
Weapons Owned: ___Tire Iron ___Pick Handle ___Beer Bottle ___Shotgun
Number of Dogs Owned: ___
Number of Homemade Tattoos: ___
Which of the Following Appliances are in your Front Yard: ___Friggerator ___Heatin
Stove ___Warsher ___TV___Freezer
How Many of the Above Appliances Work: ___
Fav-o-rite Recreation: ___Drinkin ___Cow Chip Throwin ___Possum Huntin
___Crawdad Huntin ___Spittin Backy ___Scratchin ___Watchin Wrasslin
If You Can Read, Which Magazines Do You Prefer: ___Soap Opera Digest ___Rifle
and Shotgun ___NWA ___TV Guide ___National Enquirer ___True Confessions
Which Stinks Worse: ___Hogpen ___Outhouse ___Spouse
Can You Spell Your Last Name: ___Yup ___Nope
Can You Remember Your Last Name: ___Yup ___Nope
Have You Ever Stayed Sober for More Than One Day: ___Yup ___Nope
Do You Know Any Words with More Than 4 Letters: __Yup ___Nope
Which is Correct?: ___"I Seed Him" or ___"I Seen Him"
How Many Cartons of Cigarettes Do You Smoke a day? ___
Math Test: How Many Food Stamps Do the Following Cost? ___Six Pack ___Ciggies
___Shotgun Shells ___Backy ___Prostitute
Number of Times You've Seen: ___a UFO ___ Elvis ___Elvis in a UFO
Health Questionnaire: Which of the Following Do You Have? ___Head Lice ___B.O.
___Crabs ___Runny Nose ___Boils
Can You Remember the Last Time You Bathed? ___Yup ___Nope
Color of Teeth: ___Yellow ___Brown ___Black ___N/A
I hereby swear this is the trooth and sign my "X" on