Sunday

Tuna
"Tintorera"

Tintorera (1976), which translates Tiger Shark is an exploitation film trying to capitalize on the popularity of Jaws, and the sexual freedom of the mid 60s. IMDb has it as an 89 minutes UK release from 1977 and calls it horror/drama/thriller. The actual running time is 126 minutes, and it is a Mexican production. Two Mexican tourists, one a gigolo, the other a wealthy businessman who dropped from overwork, are on a small tropical island for vacation. The chief pastimes on the island are for English women to sleep with any available man, and fishing for sharks.

The businessman meets the woman of his dreams, Fiona Lewis, only to have her taken away by the clever gigolo. After sleeping with the gigolo, she goes for a nude swim, and is eaten by a tiger shark. When the businessman confronts the gigolo, they end up best of friends, and share Laura Lyons and Jennifer Ashley, then turn to a happy three way with Susan George. Meanwhile, the businessman has learned to spearfish for sharks from the gigolo. When a tiger shark eats the giglolo, George leaves, unable to face the memories.

Not to worry. Our businessman meets Priscilla Barnes and an unknown woman, and takes them to a party where he exchanges them for Lyons and Ashley. Then several from the party decide to go skinny dipping, and the shark eats Lyons and terrorizes the rest. At that point, the businessman gets pissed and goes after the shark.

The film is nearly non-stop nudity, including three B performances from Fiona Lewis, Laura Lyons and Jennifer Ashley, and breasts and buns from Susan George, Priscilla Barnes and at least two unknowns. The film uses a mixture of English and Spanish, without any rhyme nor reason, and has mixed subtitles that are often, but not always translations of the language being spoken into the other language. From this, I suspect that an English and a Spanish version were combined to create this DVD. Whatever the source material, the transfer looks very good indeed, with great color saturation, no sign of negative damage, and passable sound.

IMDb readers have this at 3.8 of 10. While that may be a fair score comparing it to every other movie ever made, it does much better using the Fun House grading system. It is an entertaining Jaws rip off with with a lot of nudity and good photography. The mixed subtitles were a little strange to get used to, but the film is long enough that I wasn't even noticing by the end. This is a C as a mid 70s foreign grade B exploitation film.

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  • Fiona Lewis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Jennifer Ashley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29)
  • Laura Lyons (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Priscilla Barnes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Susan George (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Hi, y'all. I'm taking a mini-vacation. I'll still be digging up some other crap every day, and will chip in with some movies as well, but not with my usual volume of verbiage and such! I

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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
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    ICMS

    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    "Te Doy Mis Ojos" (2003)
     

    May I ask your attention for a Spanish movie? It's a movie that deservedly won 7 out of 9 Goyas, the Spanish equivalent of the Oscars, for which it was nominated. The film that I'm going to praise here is "Te Doy Mis Ojos" (2003; aka. Take my eyes) and is the tangible proof that you don't need a $100+ million budget to make a good movie, let alone a bad one.

     
    The movie is a psychological (or even sociological) drama about domestic violence. Before anyone starts thinking "oh no, not one of these politically correct biased art films again that only pleases the target audiences it was made for", let me tell you that it carefully avoids this trap and clips # 4 and 5 are certainly not representative for the overall tone of the movie, far from. But let us reveal a bit of the story first.
     
    One night in Toledo, Spain we see Pilar (Laia Marull) and her young son Juan seek shelter from her husband Antonio (Luis Tosar) at her sister Ana's (Candela Peña) house. Although her sister lives in a small place with her Scottish fiancé whom she is about to marry, she takes Pilar and Juan in, of course. Ana also finds out that the physical abuse of her sister has been going on for years and advises her to divorce. Antonio however is doing his utmost, or so it seems, to win his wife and son back and Pilar isn't ready either to give up her marriage to the man she truly loves. And it looks like he is going to succeed, Pilar returns home and he doesn't abuse her physically anymore. But is that enough to make a happy marriage?
     
    Antonio is still working on his violent streaks, which are now aimed against objects and still scare the hell out of his wife. In the meantime faithful Pilar found a job as a museum guide, takes much pride in her work and develops her cultural knowledge as well. Jealous Antonio, on the other hand, remains stuck in his job as a surly salesman of electrical home equipment in his dad's business, and stays frozen in his usual attitudes. Furthermore he realizes that he is underachieving, which bothers him but not his wife. It is obvious that things will clash and come to a climax, given his past behavior. The result is not that physically violent for Pilar but very, very cruel and humiliating nevertheless.
     
    The movie is in my opinion brilliantly made. The script explores every possible psychological angle of the subject with great subtlety. It would have been easy to fall into the trap of portraying Antonio as a brute who loves violence, we learn that in fact he doesn't, but he really sees no other way. At the end you certainly don't feel any sympathy for him, but you somehow feel a little bit sorry as well for this man with his limited social and educational skills who never learnt to express his feelings in a non-violent manner. The film also avoided to picture Pilar as a battered, weak, emotional and passive woman; that too would have been far to easy a cliché. As I mentioned before, the movie works on a much more subtle psychological level that fills you with a certain amount of empathy for both characters and until the last 10 minutes it keeps you dangling on how the story will unwind.
     
    The flawless and subtle script never leads to boredom, while the lighting, the camera work and the editing are top notch. Director Icíar Bollaín, also co-author of the script, clearly knew what she was doing, but what makes the movie work even better are the brilliant performances from the actors. Luis Tosar very accurately portrays a completely believable character, while Laia Marull is simply brilliant. Her facial expressions and manners are painstakingly realistic and keep you glued to the screen for the whole 103 minutes of the movie. You even wonder if she might have gone through a similar experience in real life. The combination of all aforementioned strong points makes watching this movie an eerily realistic experience that should be compulsory viewing for men with violent behavior. Sometimes a long good look in the mirror achieves more than hours of counseling.
     
    Based on this review, this movie rates as B+. Normally I'm not a huge fan of this genre, and I saw many psychological/talkative drama's that couldn't hold my attention, but this one did from beginning to ending. 492 IMDb users rated it 7.5, with women appreciating it just a tad more than men. So the film clearly appealed to both sexes, plus to all age groups alike as well.
     
    According to Yahoo! Movies this movie is set for release on April 25, 2005 in the US. It did well at the box office in its home country but incomprehensibly didn't have much of an international release so far. It is already available on DVD in Spain (€ 9.99 in promotion at www.dvdgo.com) and as a rental in Belgium from www.dvdpost.be. It will also come to DVD as a retail version in Belgium an Holland at the end of this month and in France in April (title: "Ne dis rien"). The Spanish version has a commentary track as well as some extras from which the bathing scene portrayed in Vejita's caps from March 17, 2004 probably comes. My clips come from the Belgian rental version that didn't have any extras. The Spanish region 2 version has subtitles in English and French, but the Spanish hardly ever subtitle the extras, so I don't think I'll end up buying this version as my Spanish is too mediocre and I wouldn't understand them.
     
    For those of you who might be tempted to give this film a go, I sincerely hope that I didn't spoil your viewing pleasure with this review. I really did my best not to give too much away, but reviewing the film without revealing anything proved impossible. For those of you who wonder if I am familiar with this kind of violence, let me assure you that I am not. It is just portrayed in such a way that it becomes so recognizable and real that you simply cannot stay untouched by this feature. Or maybe I just got carried away, but then so would have been the jury who awarded the 7 Goyas.
     
    Tomorrow we'll take a look at what director Icíar Bollaín, who is also an actress, looks like. Since this is the Fun House it will be a full frontal look of course. Or whadda ya thunk?
     
    Nudity report:
        - In one scene Laia Marull is nude in bed with her husband but only her breasts are visible. In another scene when her husband puts her on display on the balcony of their appartment she is bottomless wearing a bra only.
        - Luis Tosar can be seen naked also, front and back.

     

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    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    There are many kinds of movies with strippers. Some are big-production, big-star numbers in which the main characters are strippers, the minor characters are strippers and the really minor characters are people who know or work with strippers. Showgirls, Striptease and Dancing at the Blue Iguana are the prototypes of this group.

    Then there are movies in which the main character is a stripper but she doesn't strip much and the time spent in the club is a teensy weensy part of the whole sheebang. Closer (Natalie Portman) and Criss Cross (Goldie Hawn) are the icons of this group.

    The second largest group of movies with strippers is the gritty action drama or the horny teenager comedy with a gratuitous visit to a clothing removal establishment for 20 seconds of T and ten of A. Helps spice up the flic, you know. Sometimes the stripper has a name, but usually she does not. Several episodes of The Sopranos serve as nice examples.

    Yet by far most strippers who have appeared on screen peopled a genre of film called the stripper murder mystery. Stripped to Kill with the yummy Kay Lenz is the mother of this genre; and it helped set two rules in place: 1) the title has to have dance or strip or tease ot something very much like those. Midnight Tease I and II are a couple of examples. Dance with Death is another. 2) The Briggs Law of this genre is that the murderer, herself, is a stripper. Sometimes she is disguised, sometimes she is an ex-stripper but if a stripper is killed, a stripper did the deed.

    Hatchetman (2003) breaks these rules. Rule 1 is obvious, unless the stripper in question uses a hatchet in her act and is a guy. The title tells you its the person doing the killing.. using the hatchet... who is supposed to be the star. Rule 2 is also tossed out the window but you figure out that fact when only one stripper is left and she's being chased by the guy with the hatchet.

    And the person who turns out to hold the hand-axe makes no damn sense at all. No possible way it could have been him. You should understand, however, that I paid about as much attention to the storyline as I do to the regular season of he NHL. Which reminds me. Can anyone tell me how the Blues are doing... can't find the scores anywhere in the paper. The plot and the dialogue of Hatchetman don't just suck... and they don't just blow.. they spew.

    But who cares? You got 7 women in some state of undress. One of them you know: Mia Zottoli (aka Ava Lake). She has three strip routines, a shower scene and a stand-around-topless in-front-of-a-mirror scene. You get to see hours and hours of Ava/Mia's robohooters plus some bum. The other six are newcomers and most of 'em are absolute dolls, although the two best-looking do show us some bum and just about nothing else.

    Cheryl Burns, who IMDb calls Cheryl Renee, plays the lead. She and her best bud, played by Racquel Richard are the two rarest creatures on the planet. First off, they are college girls stripping to pay tuition. That one and the idea that you'll get your wang blown in the VIP room are the biggest myths this side of Loch Ness. Secondly, they play strippers who don't take off their clothes. That sorta means they are not strippers, right? But there you go, college girls who stand on stage but don't strip and get paid enough to afford USC. Mother Goose didn't invent fairytales any better than that one.

    Nina Tapanin, Fonta Sawyer and Leila Renae also play strippers. Fonta and Leila are, well, sorta chunky but they are cute. Leila has two stripping scenes whereas a dressing-room scene is the only bit of Fonta's exposure because her character was axed early in filming. And then there is Nina. She rings my chimes. Nina is thin in an athletic sense and small in places that American men prefer large but she has red hair and a killer bum. So I went all gaga on her caps and made as many collages as I could. Hope she does a lot more of this kinda work.

    There is a seventh stripper, a thin blonde with a lovely caboose... sorta the peroxide version of Nina... whose name I did not catch. But I matched all the other fictitious gals to actress' names, so she has to be the one remaining...and that would be Christine Lepanto. She does has two scenes, one with a white outfit and one with a black outfit. They are otherwise identical.

    So sure, you bet, I'd recommend this movie because of the nekkid and near-nekkid gals. Or maybe what I would recommend is a 10 minute version of the movie in which all the clothing removal remains and all the acting is given the hatchetman treatment. That version I would rent again.

    About the exposure:

    Cheryl Burns shows a real nice bum and a slim bikini-clad body, topped by a beautiful face in collages 1 and 3. Terrific-looking woman. In collage 2 is all the other exposure she has: a distant reflection of her sport-humping and a frosted-shower-door scene.

    • Cheryl Burns (1, 2, 3)


    Racquel Richard has the classic California girl look. You see her bum in tight, tiny lingerie.

    • Racquel Richard (1, 2)


    Ava/Mia shows off the robotized equipment in five collages. With her, the DP and make-up people have the task of softening her features, otherwise she looks like a bull dyke. In collage 5, both of those technical artists work wonders: it is the best I have ever seen Ava/Mia and that is saying something because this movie, gentlemen, is the eighth time I have capped and composed an Ava/Mia scene. Sorta tells you something about me. don't it?

    • Ava Lake/Mia Zottolli (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    Fonta Sawyer shows off a creditable superstructure dressing for her very last date.


    Leila Renae has two stripping scenes and shows off her nice upper body quite a bit. Too bad she also shows off a seriously chunky sub-equatorial region. This combination of good stuff poisoned by bad stuff is what the late Cal Ripken Sr. used to refer to as half a great play.

    • Leila Renae (1, 2, 3)


    Christine Lepanto gives up two of the three Bs in big time fashion. If a pale blonde with a tush to die for is your kind of woman, look no further

    • Christine Lepanto (1, 2)


    And last up is Nina Tapanin. Two B's in every collage, each of them delightful. I hope she and Cheryl and Racquel go on to have careers longer than that of Ava/Mia.

    • Nina Tapanin (1, 2, 3, 4)

    PAL
    Linnea Quigley The Scream Queen and long time Fun House topless in a sex scene from "Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings" (1994).

    Alison Eastwood Topless in scene from "If You Only Knew" (2000). Clint's little girl is mostly behind a frosty glass shower door, but thankfully we don't need to strain our eyes to see the goods.

    Audrey Benoit Topless in scenes from the made for cable series "The Hunger", episode: "Clarimonde".

    Maria Schrader
    (1, 2, 3)

    The German actress is topless and on the phone in 3 different scenes from 1995's "Stille Nacht". Link #3 also features a full frontal nude scene.

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Snowballin'" (1972) aka Apres-Ski
    The first North American sex comedy which is still the high watermark in the nudity department. The full version available only on bootleg DVD contains vintage 1960s x-rated porn inserts and an explicit sex scene removed from the video version.


    "Naked Massacre" (1976)
    Euro-exploitation loosely based on the Richard Speck murders of a house full of nurses.

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Venus Rising"
    One person called this 1995 Sci-Fi "The worst film EVER." Well, it's not. I've seen a lot worse. That doesn't mean it's very good, though.

    Set it the future, a prison on an island, run by a giant corporation, is abandoned. The prisoners, staff, and their families are left to rot, with no food supply or any other help. Since the automated systems helping secure the prison are still in place, escape is practically impossible. After two do escape, they are faced with a world on the outside that in some ways is worse than what they escaped from, as they are tracked by a killer hired by the corporation to prevent escapees from being at large.

    Pretty bad, but Sci-Fi buffs may find some interesting stuff in all of this, and Audie England's nudity, while not as plentiful as in some of her other films, is always interesting.

    UC99
    'Caps and comments by UC99:

    Sci-Fi-Lederhosen-ploitation...

    Here are 'caps from "Ach jodel mir noch einen" AKA "2069: A Sex Odyssey" (1974).

    The story: A flying saucer lands in Bavaria. A bunch of young ladies from planet Venus descends to earth. Their mission: to collect sperm. Otherwise their people (females only) will not survive. Of course they easily succeed in finding volunteers.

    The movie: without a doubt a milestone of contemporary trash cinema in 1974. "Really sexist" as one viewer commented. And, oh yes, rather funny.