"Women in Love"
Women in Love (1969) is a daring for its time portrayal of the D. H. Lawrence novel by the same name. The novel was, in good Lawrence fashion, very shocking for its time, and this film achieved the same shock value in 1969 with unprecedented nudity and on screen sex, including a 15 minute male nude wrestling scene between the two hottest actors in Great Britain. Plot summary is simple. Two middle class sisters, one a teacher and the other a sculptor, land the two most eligible upper class men in their town. One of the relationships stick, the other doesn't.
The film is filled beginning to end with pretentious dialogue and very little action. It is beautifully filmed. Glenda Jackson and Jennie Linden showed breasts more than once. Sharon Gurnay showed buns, and breasts from the side. Scoppy was enthusiastic in his review, both because it was a landmark for nudity in mainstream film, and because he had fond recollections of being allowed to see it in theaters, because it was an art film based on a great work of literature. I didn't see in in 1969 (I think I was on a freighter in the Panema Canal when it was released) and had no such nostalgic link to the film. I found it a very log, slow watch, and didn't really care about a single one of the characters. This is a C. It is well made, and a landmark for film nudity, but, unless it is your sort of film, it is weak in entertainment value. C
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Hollywood North (2003):
I think it was Mr Cranky who pointed out that
filmmakers seem to be obsessed with making films about the
filmmaking process, even though nobody really cares about the
fucking filmmaking process except other filmmakers.
Of course, given the number of people in the world
who now consider themselves filmmakers, that still leaves a sizeable
This particular one is about a successful
well-educated lawyer who quits his practice, circa 1980, to produce
a Canadian film about one of his favorite novels. He is able to
obtain substantial financing from some private investors, provided
that he can deliver some big-time Hollywood names to lend box-office
appeal. He manages to persuade an aging American idol to make the
film, but has to make a number of concessions to his big star in
order to recruit him. The most important compromise involves
throwing out the entire sensitive story, which resembled a Cuban
version of To Sir With Love, and replacing it with a ludicrous
action plot about an American ambassador single-handedly defending
the embassy against revolutionaries in Bogota. Of course, swapping
scripts will get the film made, but at the cost of selling out the
beloved book, the interpretation of which was the reason our hero
got into film production in the first place.
As always happens in this sort of film, everything
The American leading man is nuts, his paranoia
further fueled by cocaine. Sadly, this role is played very broadly
and very poorly - by the iconic British actor Alan Bates, who was to
die shortly after its release. His performance is completely lacking
in any subtlety, and he was unable to do the American accent. You
should avoid this movie if for no other reason than to honor Bates's
memory. Rent Zorba the Greek and watch that instead, and brush a
tear from your cheek when Bates deliver one of the great closing
lines in film history - "Zorba, teach me to dance".
The number two male star wants to do his own stunts,
and breaks his leg.
The leading lady insists on seducing her co-stars at
The film is being made in Canada, and the snow
storms prevent filming outdoor scenes that are supposed to be in
And so on.
The comedy is completely predictable, and the
farcical plot is curiously and inappropriately mixed with a romantic
sub-plot about the producer's inchoate affair with a woman who is
filming "The Making Of ..." his movie. The producer and his director
girlfriend are played as realistic true-to-life characters who have
deep personal discussions, while the supporting roles are farcical
caricatures all yukked up for lowbrow laughs. Strange combination,
and not really very effective. It's as if Ralph Fiennes and Julianne
Moore played out The End of the Affair in the middle of an episode
of Gilligan's Island.
I have a friend who used to be a pretty big-time
Hollywood producer, and he told me that director Ridley Scott is a
brilliant director, maybe the greatest of all time, and absolutely
capable of mastering any kind of material in a very short time.
Despite his admiration for Mr Scott, my friend also said that he'd
never work with the guy again under any circumstances.
It's not so much that Scott is difficult, but that
he is brutally honest about everybody and everything - a
characteristic which makes him great at his job, but a tough guy to
spend months with on a film set.
Of course, we can leave the negative consequences of
Scott's notorious frankness to producers and actors and douchebag
journalists who have to deal with him. For us fans, Ridley's
honesty, when coupled with his intelligence and outspoken
opinionated nature, is actually a major plus. It's pretty
damned nice to have a guy who tells the truth about stuff that
happened in the process of making the film, and airs his real
opinions instead of the usual circumspect weaselling and kow-towing.
In this case, he completely blew the lid off
Twentieth Century Fox's plans to market this DVD. Fox wanted a
"director's cut", so they could sell it as a new product. They asked
Ridley to go back and add the deleted footage, and making it an
uncut longer version. He did that. He restored several scenes, cut
back in some scenes deleted at the last minute, and got a new
version. Only one problem. It completely sucked. The movie was
deliberately paced to begin with, and Scott felt that the balance
between build-up and delivery was correct in the original theatrical
cut. When he added in more "tension building" scenes, he ended up
with too much building and too little payoff. Eventually, he
compromised. He added in some of the scenes, but left others out, to
be exiled to the "deleted footage" ghetto. (He was right. The
deleted footage is unbearably dull to watch.) He also agreed to
allow Fox to call the compromised version a "director's cut", but
under two conditions: (1) he got to tell his story about how the
real director's cut was the theatrical version (2) the studio
included the original theatrical version in the DVD set, because it
was still the best version, in Ridley's opinion.
His notes are called "a director's cut redefined",
and an excerpt follows:
Upon viewing the proposed expanded version of the
film, I felt that the cut was simply too long and the pacing
completely thrown off. I cut those extra scenes for a reason back in
1979. However, in the interest of giving the fans a new experience
with ALIEN, I figured there had to be an appropriate middle ground.
I chose to go in and recut the proposed long version into a more
streamlined and polished alternate version of the film. For
marketing purposes, this version is being called "The Director's
Cut". (Stress added)
To film purists everywhere, rest easy. The original
1979 version isn't going anywhere. It remains my version of choice,
and is presented fully restored and remastered under my personal
supervision alongside the new Director's Cut in this DVD set.
In other words, the DVD marketing is not really a
lie. The director's cut is on the disks - but it's the old version,
not the new!!
Alien is often given as the answer to a film buff
discussion question: "Are there any films where the sequel is
actually better than the original?" Many people prefer James
Cameron's Aliens to Ridley Scott's Alien. (Including Tuna, if I
remember right.) I don't think either one is a better film than the
other, but they are very different films. Although they are both S/F
classics, Alien is basically a deliberate, slowly-building horror
movie set in space, heavy on atmosphere and set design. Aliens is a
kick-ass Hollywood action movie, with firepower and comic relief,
basically a Bruce Willis movie without Bruce Willis. Which one you
prefer depends on which genre you prefer.
Although Alien does not actually have any nudity, I
find the final confrontation, between Sigourney and the alien, to be
both arousing and terrifying. In its own way, it is one of the
sexiest scenes ever filmed.
Sigourney Weaver (1,
Re: The Sixteenth Annual Awards for the Year’s Worst Reporting
Noticeably absent---Mr. Novak's exposure of a CIA
operative in his column --- oh but wait -- he was a judge for
Well, we don't talk about
politics too seriously on this site, but I think I've pointed out my
modest proposal to the CIA outing problem. Novak won't talk because
of his rights as an American and as a journalist. It seems to me
that because he outed the woman, whose secret identity was
undoubtedly crucial to the war on terror, Novak should therefore be
declared an enemy combatant. Ship that guy to Gitmo without his
so-called "rights", and I believe that sucker will be singing like
Pavarotti as soon as they attach the electrodes to his old withered
You might want to look at this one first (hint-hint):
Fourth Annual Weblog Awards Nominate your favorite
weblogs for the Bloggie awards to be presented at SXSW
Interactive. You could nominate, for example, Other Crap (OtherCrap.com), in
five or ten categories, and/or you could nominate sites that actually
deserve to win.
We now return to our broadcast:
Actor Morgan Freeman's production company says that next year, it
will release a movie on the Net at the same time the film debuts
- Here, at his secret undisclosed location, is Dick Cheney
kicking back, relaxing, and
reading a secret undisclosed novel.
Tony Fuckin' Soprano Gets Engaged. His fiancee says, "I
read in the Enquirer that he was a serial philanderer, who had
kinky sex with multiple mistresses, and I knew he was my
The erotic photography of Mr Spock. "Beamed me right
up" - Bill Shatner.
Negative Political Ads produce results. Sometimes not
the correct results, but results nonetheless.
- Cultural quiz. Name the author of this quote:
'Our greatest risk is not terrorism and it's not Iraq or the 'Axis
of Evil.' Our greatest risk is a lack of leadership, a lack of
honesty and a complete lack of consciousness. As you
may have guessed from her misuse of the word "consciousness", and
my use of the feminine pronoun, it's a bimbo celebrity chick. But
- Coming Soon has eight new clips from
Along Came Polly , a comedy with Ben Stiller and
- Here are the trailers for
A Cinderella Story, a twisted update of the classic
fairy tale, starring Hillary Duff.
- Here is the full screen Quicktime trailer for Zack Snyder's
remake of George Romero's
Dawn of the Dead That full screen trailer looks mighty
cool - and tres sexy!
- Here is the trailer for
Welcome to Mooseport, a comedy about a local guy trying
to compete for public office and a woman's affection against the
former President of the United States. It shouldn't be that hard
if the ex-prez is Jimmy Carter.
Read the owner's description of this Dodge Caravan on e-bay.
Is Vin Diesel going to take the Eddie Murphy kiddie flick route?
Watts wins LA critics Best Actress prize , beating out
favored Charlize Theron. (Note: Watts did a fine job, but there is
nothing exceptional or distinguishing about her performance in any
way. It was a completely competent but wholly unremarkable
The Shaolin monks' world touring show The Wheel of Life is an
incredible spectacle. (w/wideo)
Academy-Award nominated animated short-film complete online
Michael Jackson is saying 'Nevermore' to Neverland.
"The Famous Face on Mars has had a face-lift, a startling new
photo taken by a NASA space probe reveals!" That would
make it the second-oldest lifted face in the known universe.
(Insert Cher joke here).
Ya gotta love Bill (no spin) O'Reilly "We've outsold
that guy [Franken] all over the place," O'Reilly claimed Monday on
NBC's TODAY show. "We're running against Hillary for most copies
of non-fiction books sold this year!" Just a few minor errors in
that statement (1) Neither Hillary nor O'Reilly is anywhere near
that level. If you add them together and throw in Franken to boot,
the combined total would still be less than South Beach Diet. (2)
If you are just talking ideological books, not only did O'Reilly
trail Hillary by a margin of almost 2-to-1, but he was not even
anywhere near Al Franken's lame-o book for the Number 2 spot.
(Franken 790,000, O'Reilly 606,000.)
Faux-lesbian pop singer update Tatu girls say they
aren't really lesbians. If anyone is surprised by this, please get
in touch, because I have a lovely bridge to sell you.
Secret Movie Moguls. The underground world of movie
piracy. This L.A. Times article actually got the details right
(more or less).
The Smoking Gun: Elliott Smith death may be a homicide.
Yahoo! News - Rosie O' Donnell Plans Gay Cruise to Bahamas
The porcine comedienne and former talk-show host announced plans
for what is billed as "the first gay cruise with family values."
She did not mention whose family.
MTV.com: Inside Britney's Wild Weekend How did that guy
get Britney in the mood for marriage? By showing her The Texas
Chainsaw Massacre. Did that show her the consequences of saying
"no", or what?
- There is now an online trailer for
Spartan, a David Mamet film starring Val Kilmer.
- The trailer for
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is now online.
That "latte drinking" anti-Dean ad is now online. This
is the Windows media version. You can also find a Real media
version at clubforgrowth.com
United States Patent: 6,313,371 - the flatulance deodorizer!
I want farts that smell like jasmine and lilacs. Once I patented
something that made farts smell like shit, but the damned thing
just didn't sell.
Tom Green entertaining U.S. troops in Iraq. And I use
the word "entertaining" in a very loose sense.
- There is a trailer online for
Oh, what a lovely tea party, a documentary about the
making of "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"
South Africans love fat chicks. A plus-sized calendar
is a huge hit, so to speak. As that laugh-in chick would say, "Boering!!!"
Remember when you believed that Punk'd was cancelled?
Turns out you've been punk'd.
What's Killing Firstborn Dolphin Calves? I think the
dolphins would be well advised to free the Israelites.
ClickOnDetroit.com - News - Burger King Drive-Through Spouts
Obscenities. Someone is using a device to broadcast on
the same frequency as the fast-food restaurant's speaker. "Would
you like some fuckin' fries for your lard-ass kids?"
Paris Hilton gets religion
- Trivia. Who was been named the
"most pointless celebrity" by Madame Tussaud visitors?
- Trivia. For the first time ever, one person was involved in
Gene Shalit's worst movies of the year. Can you
identify him or her?
Going Nuts at US Weekly. The entertainment mag
accidentally printed a picture of some guy's 'nads.
Portuguese store offers free designer clothes to naked shoppers.
- True or false?
An Associated Press dispatch mistakenly sent out to newspapers
included home phone numbers for hundreds of well-known sports
- Trivia. Can you guess -
which movie was the top-renting U.S. home video of 2003?
The answer, although an entertaining film, took me by surprise. I
had no idea it was that popular.
- The computer museum:
Microsoft Windows 1.0, 1985. Fascinating!
Man says he’s addicted to TV; wants to sue cable company.
Cable TV made a West Bend man addicted to TV, caused his wife to
be overweight and his kids to be lazy, he says. And he’s
threatening to sue the cable company.
Pete Rose interview - he admits he bet on baseball, and
on his own team
- This is the
Dowd Report, the full text of the late 80s
investigation into Pete Rose's gambling.
- The official site of the
Second Vermont Republic. They want to withdraw Vermont
from the United States, establish a worldwide pancake syrup
monopoly, make big bucks.
Band Camp chick practises orgasms: "Buffy star Alyson
Hannigan has been practising her orgasm technique for the new
stage version of When Harry Met Sally."
American Splendor,' the acclaimed film about an idiosyncratic
comic book artist, has been voted best picture of 2003 by the Los
Angeles Film Critics, while 'Lord of the Rings' wizard
Peter Jackson was named best director."
Archaeologists have admitted to having been made to look 'very
silly' after mistaking a 1940s sunken patio for a 9th century
Viking village." Do those look alike? Did the Vikings
have Benny Goodman records?
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Talk sex (2001) could have been another Skinemax, DTV special in which the usual suspects are rounded up from the SAG B list and thrown on screen to emote and undress and sport hump. The usual suspects are there: a woman who would become a Hefmate (Katie Lohmann), a former Pet (Devinn Lane), three crossover pornabees (Diana Espen, Jezebelle Bond and Nikki Fairchild.... that's one over the quota, but I'm told Ms. Bond does other women only, so I guess she doesn't really count) and a couple of B movie bims (Jacy Andrews and Rene Rea). And there you go... the makings of the same old same-old.
Except for one thing. That would be Kelli McCarty. Ms. McCarty is a former Miss USA (1991), with elegant facial features and an attractive, economical form. We be talking shaggable. And the woman can act! I mean, who would have thunk, but she plays the part of one talk-show sex therapist who has personal and professional conflicts with a second on-air therapist AND when she's supposed to be catty or pissed off, she really acts the full range of catty or pissed off, depending on the situation.
Normally that shit doesn't work. Take Elizabeth Berkely in Showgirls... please. All of her many personal conflicts looked and felt staged. No subtlety or range in her anger. It was binary... on or off. Same thing with her other scenes. No matter the emotion, it was either all the way on or absent altogether.
That is not Ms. McCarty in Talk Sex, and as a result I got interested in the character. Doesn't hurt any that said character is intelligent and witty, with an ironic sense of humor and a recreational view of matters sexual. Sounds like the perfect woman to me. Plus she has that face and those.... eyes.
I grabbed a bunch of caps of Kelli in two sport-humping scenes and stuck em together in four collages. Ya know, she did these scenes with different approaches. In the first, she's boffing a guy she just picked up and through it all she acts cold, calculating... what's in it for her. In the second, where she and the other therapist who had been her antagonist bury the hatcher and, with it, the bone, she is warm and smiling. She is quite the gal, this Kelli person.
- Kelli McCarty
Most of the rest of the exposure consists of Penthouse letters as shot by a Playboy photographer. The maguffin here is the talk-show format. People call in with their stories and the camera shows you the action behind their words. Whereas the stories are typical of the Guccione publication, the camera angles and focus of attention are much more Hefner. Early Hefner. Translation: you get to see hooters. Lots of pairs of hooters, but not much else.
Diana Espen, Jezebelle Bond and Julie Edenhurst are the gals in these stories. BTW, IMDb says that Diana, who does adult films under the name of April (Flowers or Summers) has done over 200 such films since 1999. Ye gads, that's about one per week. If you watched them all, you would get to know Ms. Espen's mating habits very well.
Jacy Andrews shows up as the male protagonist's former main squeeze. She leaves him because he's so stodgy about sex. Seems he did not enjoy the menage a trois with Jacy and Nikki Fairchild, or maybe he just has an alergy to silicone.
Last up is a woman I've capped before and will probably cap again, unless you stop me. That's Renee Rea. Second best actress in the bunch with the second best body.
So, this is the best of the Skinemax-type movies I have seen. Honestly didn't mind watching it at something other than 8X fast-forward. And I'm rushing right out to get more Kelli McCarty movies to cap.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
Third in the great American Pie comedy series easily as funny as it's predecessors maybe even the best of the three.
Just graduated from college, Jim and Michelle get married, and the whole motley crew is there to turn everything into a shambles. Funny, funny, funny.
|'Caps and comments by LC.
Scoops, a few 'caps of the late Ms. Ireland in scenes from the 1970 movie "City of Violence". Some nice nudity here, but I have no idea if were looking at Jill or a body-double.
|The long time queen of B-movie thrillers showing of some rear views of her fabulous bum, as well as her now removed robo-boobs. Vidcaps from "Poison" aka "Thy Neighbor's Wife" (2001).
|Señor Skin 'caps of Sutchy topless in scenes from the Canadian sex comedy, "Rub & Tug" (2002).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MADONNA ASSUMES NEW POSITION
Clark Wants A Peace - Madonna released an open letter endorsing Wesley
Clark for president. She said the greatest risk to America isn't terrorism
but the government's "complete lack of consciousness," and that Clark will
help promote peace. She added that she'd never endorsed a primary
candidate before, but "as an American citizen," she wants her children to
grow up with the same opportunities she had, "to travel the world safely."
So they can adopt any silly accents they want.
Can't her team of bodyguards take care of that?
This IS something she's never done before: admit she's American.
Madonna's endorsement may help him in Hollywood, but in Middle America,
it's the girl-on-girl kiss of death.
HOMEOWNER SHOOTS NEIGHBOR OVER PARKING SPACE
Park Your Carcass - Homeowner Baxter Floyd, 68, of Brooklyn, New York, was
arrested Monday night after he allegedly pistol-whipped and shot young
neighbor Roshawn Battle, who had parked his car in Floyd's driveway. Battle
ducked and suffered only a minor graze wound to the head. But Floyd's
neighbors are defending him. They say parking is really difficult in that
neighborhood, and Battle often parks his car in their driveways, too. They
described Floyd as a "nice old man" and a "swell guy" who was pushed too
far, and said that anyone might have shot Battle under the circumstances.
In fact, in New York, stealing someone's parking space is the only crime
that carries the death penalty.
Floyd considered just shooting out his tires, but that seemed
On the other hand, if Floyd goes to jail, Battle can leave his car in
his driveway all the time.
FIRST CHRISTIAN NUDIST COLONY
Fig Leaf Optional - David Blood of Tampa, Florida, is planning to open
Natura Park, the world's first Christian nudist colony. He said, "The
Bible very clearly states that when Adam and Eve were in right with God,
they were naked. When people are in right with God, they do not have to
Unless Tammy Faye drops by.
But Adam was made in God's image, and we're all 1,000th generation
copies...It's safe to say, almost everyone these days is "bigger than
It's hard to keep your thoughts sin-free when you're surrounded by naked
women on their knees.
At this Christian resort, it will be easy to spot the "Jews for Jesus."
What Would Jesus Do? Probably wear clothes.