"Talons of the Eagle"
Talons of the Eagle (1992) is a Canadian B grade martial arts movie, in the so bad it's good category. It stars Billy Blanks as an American DEA agent on loan to Canada to work with Jalal Merhi in infiltrating a drug ring run by James Hong. Agent Priscilla Barnes has already infiltrated. Before they can get into the organization, they need to brush up on their martial arts skills with Master Pan (played by Qingfu Pan himself). Among the student teachers is Kelly Gallant.
What follows is completely predictable. To the cast's credit, they didn't even pretend to act. Rather, it is all fights and sex. Barnes and Kelly Gallant have see through action. Michelle Gallant and Tanya Murray as strippers both show breasts. An unknown actress also shows breasts having sex with Blanks.
IMDb readers have this at 2.9 of 10. The minor critics listed at IMDb all agree that this is a surprisingly good genre effort, with good photography, nice lighting, lots of fights and nudity, and much to laugh about, in other words, a worthy genre effort. This is a C.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Hi, y'all. I'm taking a mini-vacation.
I'll still be digging up some other crap every day, and will chip in
with some movies as well, but not with my usual volume of verbiage
and such! In addition to the comments below, I also did four more
collages from the ICMS caps.
Stateline Motel (1975):
ICMS had this film pegged perfectly, so I have
nothing more to say. Good script. Bad execution. Terrible DVD. This
is one film that would be worth remaking with real actors. Anyway,
Watch the first five minutes of Elektra
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston announced Friday that they were
calling it quits after nearly five years of marriage.
- Headline writers like to have fun, too!
Just trust me on this one, go to this site and look at the
The Daily Show's Rob Corddry takes a ragtag bunch of student
journalists and shows them how to become mediocre.
Jon Stewart notes that International Observers will be observing
the Iraqi election... from another country.
Jon Stewart interviews Paul Giamatti.
The Daily Show declares "Wooooooooo! Congress is BACK IN SESSION,
The Daily Show says with a hold on all branches of government the
GOP is ready to take some names and kick some ass.
Actor Don Cheadle talks to Jon Stewart about his role in the film
Jon Stewart talks to Howard Zinn, author of Voices of a People's
History of the United States.
The Daily Show looks at Attorney-General nominee Alberto Gonzales.
Soldier's e-mail sparks food drive for Iraqi dogs.
What happened to Lohan's chest? When she lost her 20
pounds, she lost some of her chest as well, which implies that
they really are natural after all.
- A year after Janet Jackson's breast brought a crackdown on
Fox has rejected an ad for the Super Bowl offering a rare view
Mickey Rooney's backside.
- Damn! I've been waiting for that. To hell with Dunst and
Kournikova. Let's get the Mickster's ancient heinie out there!
Surprisingly, the article does not tell us where to write to
protest this egregious censorship.
The Top 100 Trailers of 2004.
British actor David Morrissey will star opposite Sharon Stone in
'Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction', in which Stone will
reprise her role as the seductive novelist Catherine Tramell.
20 Year Archive on Google Groups: "Google has fully
integrated the past 20 years of Usenet archives into Google
Groups, which now offers access to more than 800 million messages
dating back to 1981. This is by far the most complete collection
of Usenet articles ever assembled and a fascinating first-hand
historical account. We compiled some especially memorable articles
and threads in the timeline below. For example, read Tim
Berners-Lee's announcement of what became the World Wide Web or
Linus Torvalds' post about his 'pet project'."
What is really upstairs at Graceland? Article includes
pics of Elvis' bedroom, Elvis' bathroom.
Spacey is officially signed on to play Lex Luthor. It
seems that he'll be reunited with his Beyond the Sea co-star Kate
Bosworth, who is slated to play Lois Lane. In Wise Guy, SE7EN, and
The Usuial Suspects, Spacey established himself as possibly the
greatest of all filmed villains, and Luthor is a film villain's
Ain't It Cool News has three pics from A Scanner Darkly,
a Richard Linklater cyberpunk animation based on a Philip K Dick
- At last, a credible movie role for Denise Richards as a
Britney Spears is reportedly set to quit pop music - to become a
Weekly World News: "FORGET THE GOLD... POT OF POT FOUND AT END OF
J-Lo's new "Get Right" video is posted.
Guy robs gas station - evades police - gets lost - stops at same
gas station to ask for directions.
Why you should marry a short woman. As we used to say
back in college, she'd be the perfect woman if she had a flat head
to set your beer on.
Some competition for Chyna in the maxi-genital department
Forget about Masterpiece Theater or that Civil War documentary,
television at last reaches its all-time zenith.
"Two-thirds of the way through Sunday's 9 p.m. launch of 'The
Surreal Life' on VH1, Verne Troyer, the pint-size actor who plays
Mini Me in the 'Austin Powers' movies, urinates in the corner of a
room." Oh, yeah, this happens right after he rides a scooter to
his pee area. Did I mention that he is stark naked the entire
Winter storms fill Arizona rivers with something never seen
Val Kilmer purposely messed up the Alexander love scenes with
Angelina Jolie just so that he could do more re-takes
"My role consisted mostly of sharing a bed with Angelina Jolie and
throwing her around in it, which is about as much fun as it is
possible for a man to have."
- Civil servants gone mad!!
Bevis Lake, just northeast of Seattle, is now appearing in Census
Bureau records as Butthead Lake.
The director's guild announces its five nominees for the top honor
in 2004. [The directors of Sideways, Million Dollar
Baby, The Aviator, Finding Neverland, Ray]
Here's the trailer for Cursed, a werewolf film long awaited by
genre fans. This project represents the re-teaming of
the creators of Scream, Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson. The cast
includes the entire B-list: Christina Ricci, Shannon Elizabeth,
Scott Foley, Omar Epps, Kristina Anapau, Scott Baio, James Brolin,
Illeana Douglas, Jesse Eisenberg, Robert Forster, Judy Greer, Milo
Ventimiglia, Corey Feldman, Portia de Rossi, Joshua Jackson,
Michael Rosenbaum, Mya, Mandy Moore, Lance Bass, and Craig Kilborn.
The Palm Springs airport has crippled terrorism by removing the
putting green, will deal the death blow when it removes the
petunias. "Security concerns after the Sept. 11, 2001,
terrorist attacks led to elimination of the airport putting green
that instantly reminded arriving visitors Palm Springs was one of
the top golf destinations in the world. The airport putting green
at Palm Springs International Airport was eliminated first. Now
it's the impatiens, petunias and snapdragons that have to go."
Sean Penn has something to say. The dour, prune-faced
actor weighs in on the Oscars, Nixon, Bush and the media. In a
nutshell: they all suck. In fact, the media are so biased and
inaccurate that CNN thinks Spicoli's political opinions are news.
Brigitte Nielsen has become the first "celebrity" to strip naked
in the Big Brother house. Stay tuned ...
Martina Hingis begins a tentative comeback.
New Hitachi Hard Drive Holds Half Terabyte
Questions to ponder. "If Wile E. Coyote had enough
money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?"
Letterman's - Top Ten Signs Your Boss Is Spying On You
Listen to the unanimous choice for Record of the Year at the
annual Rock Frenzy Awards. Free download. Greatest-ever
rendition of Hotel California.
William Hung says he will turn down any offers to play bad guys in
his fledgling acting career. In Singapore to promote
his first film, the action-comedy 'Where is Mama's Boy?,' the Hong
Kong-born Hung ruled out any nasty roles."
- William Hung can afford to turn roles down?
- William Hung gets offered bad guy roles? Look out, Samuel L
- Which bad guy could Hung be? I think we can rule out The
Kingpin. Maybe the Bookworm on Batman?
Anna Kournikova checks for sand in her bikini.
The Big Unit, already the biggest Johnson in baseball history,
gets an extension. The Yankees seem to have sealed the
x-ray specs have moved their ads from comic books to the internet
Jerry Springer Opera, featuring 'gay Jesus', sparks record 5,500
complaints: "Plans to broadcast a London musical that
features a nappy-wearing Jesus who admits he is 'a bit gay', have
sparked a record 5,500 complaints, a television watchdog said
The BBC nevertheless vowed to go ahead with its plan"
New team at US State Department. Condi picks a #2 man -
and it's Napoleon Dynamite's brother Kip.
Italian golfer Sophie Sandolo, now a player on the women's
European Tour, recently released a stunning nude calendar.
Yahoo! Finds Best Web Sites 2004
The best Political Humor of 2004.
Something Awful reviews the best movie of 2004: 1 Night in China
FilmWise - Invisibles Quiz of the Week. Your task:
identify a movie which has been stripped of heads, hands, and
other exposed flesh.
A new mathematical formula has proved Murphy's Law really does
strike at the worst possible time.
Tons of butter melted by a factory fire spread through the streets
of New Ulm, Minnesota. The kind citizens of Maine have
responded to the emergency by sending several tons of lobster.
Control foot odor by pissing on your feet.
- Ya gotta love this headline:
"Magazine film crew loses control of a burning pig carcass"
A second international trailer for Robots: "Academy
Award winning director Chris Wedge ('Bunny,' 'Ice Age') brings his
innovative filmmaking magic to 'Robots,' taking the animated
feature film genre to a new, exciting level. For the first time
ever, an animated feature presents a unique, totally imagined
world - a wondrously clanky universe populated solely by
mechanical beings. And never has a cast of this caliber --
encompassing no less than five Oscar winners, as well as Emmy and
Tony honorees -- been brought together for an animated feature. In
the film you'll meet memorable 'bots Rodney Copperbottom (Ewan
McGregor), a young genius inventor who dreams of making the world
a better place; Cappy (Halle Berry), a beautiful executive 'bot
with whom Rodney is instantly smitten; the nefarious corporate
tyrant Ratchet (Greg Kinnear) who locks horns with Rodney; Bigweld
(Mel Brooks), a master inventor who has lost his way; and a group
of misfit bots known as the Rusties, led by Fender (Robin
Williams) and Piper Pinwheeler (Amanda Bynes)."
The trailer for Cinderella Man: "Russell Crowe stars in
the story inspired by the life of legendary athlete Jim Braddock,
a once-promising light heavyweight boxer forced into retirement
after a string of losses in the ring. As the nation enters the
darkest years of the Great Depression, Braddock accepts a string
of dead-end jobs to support his wife, Mae (Zellweger), and their
children, while never totally abandoning his dream of boxing
again. Thanks to a last minute cancellation, Braddock finds
himself back in the ring against the second-ranked world
contender--and to everyone's amazement, Braddock wins in the third
round. Despite being pounds lighter than his opponents and
repeated injuries to his hands, Braddock continues to fight
against challengers and win. Carrying on his shoulders the hopes
and dreams of the disenfranchised masses, Braddock, dubbed the
'Cinderella Man,' faces his toughest challenger in Max Baer (Bierko),
the heavyweight champion of the world, renowned for having killed
two men in the ring."
6 new clips from Coach Carter , Sam'l L Jackson's new
film, based on the true story of a coach who benched his entire
championship team because of their poor academic performance.
PALESTINIANS RISE UP AGAINST RICHARD GERE. Angry Mob
Smashes "Pretty Woman" DVDs
French actress Beatrice Dalle weds prison inmate.
Bill Gates makes a PC presentation at an electronics show - and
gets the blue screen of death. This is almost too good
to be true. If ever a man got EXACTLY what he deserved ...
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
No big scoop today I'm afraid but these three German
actresses aren't bad looking either, certainly not with
their clothes off.
"Für immer und immer" (1997)
First there's Jeanette Arndt in a triple B performance in "Für
immer und immer" (1997; forever and ever). I still remember
that she was a very cruel mother for her little girl in this
film. Could it be that the girl even had to fear for her
life? (Note: I cut a small part of the shower scene where
the little girl could be seen naked with her film mother.
Although it doesn't bother me, I realize this material is
too sensitive and this kind of nudity is certainly not the
purpose of the Fun House IMHO)
"Krieger und Liebhaber" (2000)
In "Krieger und Liebhaber" (2000; warriors and lovers)
Marie Bäumer unveils her shapely body in a somewhat silly
erotic scene before taking a bath. Meanwhile Rebecca
Mosselmann shows her breasts in a nightclub.
Caps and collages of these three actresses can be found
in the Encyclopedia and/or back issues as well. Please enjoy
|A quick site note
Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.
If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!
|Today's Paparazzi pics!
As Brainscan and I have said on several occasions, Jessica Alba is a goddess. Need proof? Just check out link #2 of this batch of paparazzi pics featuring Alba at the beach. No make up, no movie cameras, no studio lighting and no CG effect...just pure beauty.
Oh, and for those with dirtier minds (like me) links 4 and 5 feature Alba on all fours.
'Caps and comments by Mister Grundy:
THE AWAKENING OF ANNIE (1973) was directed by Zygmunt Sulistrowski, who has
made several other softcore sexploitationers, mainly French/Brazilian
co-productions. This one serves as a real time capsule piece; on one hand,
there is much filler material of nude families (of which the innocent
showcasing of children is totally at odds with today's mores), and coupling
couples (if not threesomes). The plot revolves around the virginal Annie
who, for one so innocent, has no trouble accepting an invitation of a
photographer to travel to Rio, and posing nude. The problem is, a sexual
assault from her past has shut her off to the idea of sex, yet that doesn't
stop her from financially taking advantage of the shutterbug. He finally
tries his hands at the blonde, in uninvited fashion. So we have one scene
after another of abused women, a theme that wouldn't easily fly, these days.
ANNIE FRIEDMANN is the star who mainly non-acts her way out of this paper
bag. Her charms are on display at every opportunity. She has appeared in
only one other movie, a French film from 1975, where her on-screen
character was also named "Annie."
ANNIE FRIEDMANN in the scene that caused her character such anguished
frigidity: a sexual assault by one of the most gruesome villains in
cinematic history. Since our heroine idenitifies herself as a virgin in
the film, and the alternate title of ANNIE THE VIRGIN OF SAINT TROPEZ
confirms this status, at least her attacker must not have gone all the way.
UNKNOWN who plays "Claudie", a woman who gets attacked in the film's
conclusion by criminals.
UNKNOWNS frolicking in the lengthy "travelogue" part of the film.
THIS NIGHT I'LL POSSESS YOUR CORPSE ("Esta Noite Encarnarei no Teu
Cadáver," 1967) is the more ambitious effort by Brazilian filmmaker José
Mojica Marins, commonly known as "Coffin Joe," including a memorably
creative depiction of Hell. The villain collects females in an attempt to
mate, but those who fall short of his mark are marked for death. In the
beginning title sequence, the names of individual cast members are
superimposed over portraits of the actors, which I have used as a means for
identification (the film's end credits are unrevealing). However,
discrepancies exist in the film's IMDb listing, so it may be the bizarre
filmmaker might have been pulling a fast one... deliberately featuring
different names over the title sequence's faces. You just can't trust
anyone nicknamed Coffin Joe.
SEBASTIANA DANTAS is one of the lasses who winds up in Coffin Joe's
UNKNOWNS in the "Hell" sequence, bare-ly surviving
VANIA RANGEL (Tina Wohlers, IMDb) is Laura, who falls hopelessly in love
with the long fingernailed gent, and winds up as Coffin Joe's mate.
TINA WOHLERS (Nadia Freitas, IMDb) is Marcia, the winner of Coffin Joe's
affections, among the kidnapped women.
ESMERELDA RUCHEL is Jandra, who puts a curse on Coffin Joe. When he
discovers she was pregnant, his conscience is torn, being selectively
THE NOTORIOUS DAUGHTER OF FANNY HILL (1966) is a dull David Friedman effort
spotlighting the daughter of an English hooker from the 18th century. The
cinematographer was László Kovács.
GINGER HALE is one of the trio of women engaged in a sexual parlor game.
LETITIA FARRELL is the second component of the aforementioned trio.
STACEY WALKER plays the title role of Kissy Hill. The trashy Texan was
discovered by the producer, fed a hot dog, and went on to titty flick fame.
Her undoing (or salvation) might have been hooking up with a loser
boyfriend (he appeared as the press agent in a Friedman short, BUT CHARLIE
I NEVER PLAYED VOLLEYBALL); a major studio expressed interest in Stacey,
and when Friedman set out to pick up his star for the fateful screen test,
Stacey had cleared out of her apartment, bidding farewell to Hollywood. She
also appeared in another Friedman film, from the same year.
AUDREY HEPBURN was the winner of last year's 'most beautiful woman of all
time' survey, conducted by "a panel of experts." As such, I've noticed she
is woefully under-represented in the Scoopy archives. One reason is that
the spoilsport star never shed all for her art. Yet, it's only fair to see
if she had what it takes to deserve such a lofty title, and we can
scrutinize her angles from 1964'S PARIS WHEN IT SIZZLES (featuring a couple
of scenes of "tease" nudity). The luminous waif did her bit for the Dutch
Resistance when the Nazis occupied her native land; she became a
humanitarian in later life, and succumbed to colon cancer twelve years ago.
UNKNOWNS bathing beauties at the beck and call of Noel Coward's film
producer in PARIS WHEN IT SIZZLES.
TEENAGE CATGIRLS IN HEAT is a 1997 Troma release already covered in the
Scoopy archives, but hopefully some new ground has been explored with the
ROBIN BIGGS is one of the main catgirls, given a few lines to purr.
CARRIE VANSTON is the lead, Cleo. While few other ladies in the cast can
claim other screen credits, Ms. Vanston moved out to Hollywood to carve out
her acting fortune. She's the serious actress in the bunch, and thus does
not expose any significant flesh.
MELISSA ENGQUIST didn't mind getting all wet, quite a sacrifice for a
LISA MOORE has a walk-on that's eye-catching
NANCY VANHOOZER provides minor electricity as the Power Pole-cat. One of
the useless DVD commentary's few revelations had one of the filmmakers ask
whether this actress was TINA MARTORELL, with another replying in the
affirmative. If true, the end credit identification could be flawed.
UNKNOWNS, some of whom are undoubtedly among the generic catgirls from the
end credits, including Martha Morales, Terry Newman, Kerry Schmidt, Arwen
Tedhams, Helen Mary Marek, and April Adams. It's remarkable this
low-budgeter, shooting in Austin, Texas, managed to get the ladies to show
their assets and not much else. Unless paid highly, it may not be easy to
get a woman to be so revealing; the only other time an actress will usually
do so is if she thinks her career will be advanced, by showcasing her
As always, Mister Grundy invites you to vist his Sick Sexy Sinema Shots Yahoo forum.
'Caps and comments by Vejiita:
First up today...here some caps of Jena Romano from the horror movie "Voyeur.com".
- Jena Romano in a shower scene. Plenty of toplessness, plus rear views in links 6,7 and 8 and frontal nudity in 9,10 and 11.
Next up, some 'caps of Lee Blakemore in scenes from the movie "Blood". It's a pretty good little film. The movie is about some doctors who manipulate the blood of a woman and turn it into a powerful addictive narcotic. One of the doctors tries to help her, but he ends up as a victim of his own creation.
- Lee Blakemore
|DeadLamb 'caps of the co-star of the Showtime series "Huff!" showing off a great pair of legas as well as some amazing cleavage during a guest appearance on the Charlie Sheen sit-com, "Two and a Half Men".
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Swedish babe going topless in scenes from the low brow comedy "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" (2004).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
DUMBEST WARNING LABELS OF 2004
Warning: You May Bust A Gut - Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch has named its
Wacky Warning Label Award winners for 2004. Third prize went to a digital
thermometer that said, "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used
orally." Second place was won by a children's scooter that warned, "This product
moves when used." But the dumbest warning of 2004 was on a toilet brush: "Do
not use for personal hygiene."
Too bad: it's the perfect size to be Julia Roberts' toothbrush.
They do make really good back scratchers...or so I've been told.
EROTIC DANCER WINS COURT CASE
Sweet! - Christy Sweet's Personal Dances, a one-on-one erotic dance service
in Key West, Florida, was shut down by the city in a crackdown on adult
entertainment. But Sweet took them to court, arguing that Key West's economy is
based on debauchery, with the top tourist attraction being the Halloween Fantasy
Fest, a parade in which people dance down the street wearing only body paint.
She said if that's legal, then her business is, too. A federal judge said he
was inclined to agree. The city settled, allowing her to reopen and paying
her $19,000 in legal costs.
All in one dollar bills.
Turns out she wasn't obscene, she was just "festive."
The officials let her reopen, once they started thinking of her as a
This is what your grandmother means when she complains about people
"parading around naked."
PROTESTS OVER "SPRINGER" OPERA
Paging Donald Wildmon - The BBC's plans to air "Jerry Springer: The Opera"
have sparked a record 5,500 complaints before it's even debuted. The opera,
inspired by the trash talk show, plays to packed theaters and has won awards, but
it has 3,168 f-words, 297 c-words, songs with such titles as "Pregnant by a
Transsexual" and "Here Come the Hookers," and a diaper-wearing Jesus who admits
He is "a bit gay." Critics blamed the complaints on organized "religious
bullies," and the BBC plans to air it anyway.
They air "The Jerry Springer Show," and that's a lot worse.
The religious bullies should try bashing them with chairs.
3,168 f-words?! This is why the guy who presses the bleep button on Jerry
Springer's show has carpal tunnel syndrome.
Fans of this show know nothing about opera, but they know what they like.
MAN ALREADY IN LINE FOR "STAR WARS"
Moronic, You Are! - Jeff Twieden of Seattle is so anxious to see "Star Wars:
Episode Three," he's already camping in front of the Cinerama Theater in
freezing weather to be first in line. It doesn't open for 22 weeks, and he's not
even sure it will play at the Cinerama. He did the same thing for the last
"Star Wars" movie, and he said, "A lot of people say, "Get a life," but "'Star
Wars' is about independence and freedom, and that's really what this wait is
His independence and freedom from employment.
Seems to me this wait is more about expectation and disappointment.
Besides, if he weren't camped out at the theater, he'd be living with his
If it doesn't open there, he'll be first in line to see the next David