Tuna is off today dealing with computer problems, but look for his return tomorrow!

Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Swimming Pool (2003):

If you read some articles and reviews of Swimming Pool, you are probably, as I was yesterday, completely deceived about the nature of this film. It is not a thriller of any kind. In fact, nothing even vaguely mysterious happens until 72 minutes into the film. It is, on the surface, a slow moving character-driven psychological crime mystery of the type that used to dominate the episodes of The Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock Presents, more suggestion than delivery, complete with the requisite twist at the end that explains many of the plot elements that seemed particularly clumsy.

You see, those plot devices were clumsy for a reason.

It turns out that this is not even a crime mystery, but an analysis of the creative thought process that goes into creating such a mystery. In fact, I've actually spoiled the whole film for you, but watch it anyway, because, trust me, you have no idea what I am talking about, and will not even realize why I've spoiled it until the film is over and you've re-read these words. And even then you may not understand what I mean, or you may not agree with my interpretation.

There is lots of good news:

  1. It is a good film, just not the one that the critics led you to expect. Although it has a leisurely pace, it's filled with a beautiful woman who is naked constantly (Ludivine Sagnier), lurid sex scenes, outrageous seductions (Rampling has a seduction scene with a guy who must be 80), vivid murders, deeply-guarded secrets, mysterious dwarves, villagers who cross themselves and shut the doors when asked certain questions, disappearing/reappearing crucifixes, and what have you. It plays out like a slow, arty, Ingmar Bergman remake of Wild Things.

  2. Although it is a French film, it is mostly in the English language.

  3. It's a beautifully mastered DVD of a film that looked great to begin with.

Like many a psychological mystery, especially European ones, the pace is glacial at the beginning. It never fires up to hot rod speed, but  it does pick up, and I think many of you will enjoy this.



You might want to look at this one first (hint-hint):

  • Fourth Annual Weblog Awards Nominate your favorite weblogs for the Bloggie awards to be presented at SXSW Interactive. You could nominate, for example, Other Crap (, in five or ten categories, and/or you could nominate sites that actually deserve to win.

We now return to our broadcast:


Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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Here are the latest movie reviews available at

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

'Caps and comments by Hankster:

Today we take the time machine back to 1980 and a visit with porn star Vanessa Del Rio in "Girls U.S.A", Vanessa is tied to a rack and has her tits fondled and clamped. These are from VHS, so not the greatest quality.

  • Vanessa Del Rio (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Back to the present and a little on the lighter side, we take a look at Jennifer Tilly on "Leno" last week with some major mega-cleavage.

  • Jennifer Tilly (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

'Caps and comments by Dann:

"Beyond Re-Animator"
Third in the Re-Animator series maintains the blood, gore, and camp of the other two. Good horror fun not to be taken seriously.

In this one the good Dr. West has spent 14 years in jail for the death of a girl killed by one of his experiments. When the new prison doctor is sympathetic to his quest for immortality, things once again go out of control. Incidentially, I hope this movie starts a trend nurses with low-cut tops. :-)

Mina Tander
Shira Fleisher

Both ladies are have black tape on their breasts (which is also removed) in scenes from "Honolulu" (2001).

Christiane Scheda
Jasmin Schwiers
Nadeshda Brennicke

Scenes from the German movie "Tattoo" (2002). Scheda and Brennicke both show full frontal nudity, Schwiers shows cleavage.

Alexandra Maria Lara The Romanian born actress looking lovely in topless and full frontal scenes from the German movie "Nackt" (2002).

Nina Hoss Baring breasts, bum and a hint of bush in more scenes from "Nackt".

Ana Zanatti Toplessness plus close up bush views from "Liebesbriefe einer portugiesischen Nonne" aka "Love Letters From a Portuguese Nun" (1977).

Susan Hemingway Topless, full frontal and also in chains. More scenes from "Love Letters From a Portuguese Nun".

Annika Murjahn The tall blonde making a topless appearance on an episode of the German TV series "Der Letzte Zeuge".

Cleo Kretschmer The German actress bares all 3 B's in scenes from her first movie, "Schulmädchen-Report 5: Was Eltern wissen sollten" aka "Schoolgirl Report Part 5: What All Parents Should Know" (1973).

Franziska Petri Toplessness and far off rear nudity from "Tage des Sturms" (2003).

Ivonne Schönherr Very lovely breast exposure from the series "Ein Fall für zwei", episode: "Gegen die Wand gefahren".

Laetitia Casta The French mega-model showing some cleavage in scenes from "Astérix et Obélix contre César" (1999).

Mercedes Cecchetto Gorgeous full frontal nudity in scenes from her one and only IMDb film credit, "Une grande fille comme toi" aka "A Big Girl Like You" (2003).

Tanja Lanäus Very nice breast exposure as she poses for a nude painting in scenes from an episode of "Ein Ehrenwertes Haus" (1998).

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

The usual skimpy outfits in scenes from the FOX series "The Simple Life". Thanks to Gman.

April Telek
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Mr. Skin 'caps of the Canadian babe topless in scenes from the straigh-to-vid movie "Bounty Hunters 2: Hardball".

Pat Reeder
Pat's comments in yellow...

"It's No Choke" - California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger began his first State of the State Address by joking, "I changed my mind. I want to go back to acting." He then called for major spending cuts, calling the executive branch "a mastodon frozen in time," and saying that other governors reorganize government by just moving boxes around, but "I want to blow them up."

  • Wow! When he does go back to acting, I hope he makes THAT movie!
  • First, he vill take a machete to da budget...Den, he vill blow up da pieces!
  • The legislators listened to his proposed spending cuts and agreed with him: he should go back to acting.

    For Men With Manly Beer Bellies! - The Portland Brewing company of Oregon is marketing "Governator Beer" in California as a tribute to Arnold Schwarzenegger. The label shows a muscular figure posing like a body builder, and the drink is described as a bitter ale with a smooth finish and a bit of a bite. The CEO said, "It's no 'girly-man' beer."

  • It has a big, tall head and makes you foam at the mouth!
  • When you're drunk on this beer, you can grope women's breasts and get away with it.
  • Something tells me a six-pack of beer is the only six-pack "Governator Beer" drinkers will ever have.
  • You'd think the really bitter ale would be named after Gray Davis.

    Jr's non-paid endorsement note.....I'm not a big fan of beer, but when I lived up in Portland I became quite fond of several of the Portland Brewing Company's goodies -Zig Zag Lager was my favorite :-) If you can find it in your area, my guess is the Governator beer will not only be a fun novelty beverage, but a beer worth drinking as well. Here's the press release from the brewery.

    "Have You Ever Worn White After Labor Day?" - Several hundred people reported to the federal courthouse in lower Manhattan as prospective jurors for the Martha Stewart insider trading trial. They had to fill out a multi-page questionnaire, but the judge refused to release a copy to the press.

  • That's insider information.
  • Nobody's allowed on Martha's jury who can't explain the difference between endive and arugula.