Tuna is off today dealing with computer problems, but look for his return tomorrow!
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Swimming Pool (2003):
If you read some articles and reviews of Swimming
Pool, you are probably, as I was yesterday, completely deceived
about the nature of this film. It is not a thriller of any kind. In
fact, nothing even vaguely mysterious happens until 72 minutes into
the film. It is, on the surface, a slow moving character-driven psychological
crime mystery of the type that used to dominate the episodes of The
Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock Presents, more suggestion than
delivery, complete with the
requisite twist at the end that explains many of the plot elements
that seemed particularly clumsy.
You see, those plot devices were clumsy for a
It turns out that this is not even a crime mystery,
but an analysis of the creative thought process that goes into
creating such a mystery. In fact, I've actually spoiled the whole
film for you, but watch it anyway, because, trust me, you have no
idea what I am talking about, and will not even realize why I've
spoiled it until the film is over and you've re-read these words.
And even then you may not understand what I mean, or you may not
agree with my interpretation.
There is lots of good news:
It is a good film, just not the one that the critics
led you to expect. Although it has a leisurely pace, it's filled with a beautiful woman who is naked
constantly (Ludivine Sagnier), lurid sex scenes, outrageous
seductions (Rampling has a seduction scene with a guy who must be
80), vivid murders, deeply-guarded secrets, mysterious dwarves,
villagers who cross themselves and shut the doors when asked certain
questions, disappearing/reappearing crucifixes, and what have you. It plays out like a
slow, arty, Ingmar Bergman remake of Wild Things.
Although it is a French film, it is mostly in the
It's a beautifully mastered DVD of a film that
looked great to begin with.
Like many a psychological mystery, especially
European ones, the pace is glacial at the beginning. It never fires
up to hot rod speed, but it does pick up, and I think many of
you will enjoy this.
Ludivine Sagnier thumbnails (1,
Ludivine Sagnier (1,
Charlotte Rampling thumbnails
Charlotte Rampling (1,
You might want to look at this one first (hint-hint):
Fourth Annual Weblog Awards Nominate your favorite
weblogs for the Bloggie awards to be presented at SXSW
Interactive. You could nominate, for example, Other Crap (OtherCrap.com), in
five or ten categories, and/or you could nominate sites that actually
deserve to win.
We now return to our broadcast:
CBS | Late Show: Top Ten Messages on Britney Spears's Answering
Fontifier - turn your own handwriting into a font.
Nathan Sawaya | The Art of the Brick What is the friggin' deal
Ian McKellan says the Hobbit is a likely go for Jackson. "It
won't be long until I have to put on that blue hat again and
become Gandalf - Gandalf The Grey".
Director Brian De Palma and actors Mark Wahlberg and Josh Hartnett
will make The Black Dahlia an adaptation of the James Ellroy
crime novel framed around the infamous Hollywood murder of wannabe
actress Elizabeth Short.
Johnny Depp will go to the 17th century for The Libertine, which
begins production February 23 outside London. Depp will star
opposite John Malkovich and Samantha Morton in a tale based on the
true story of John Wilmot, the Earl of Rochester, who was a poet,
courtier and notorious rake.
The good news- it turns out money CAN buy happiness. The bad
news - happiness costs $4 million dollars.
President Bush Starts Out 2004 With 60% Job Approval. He leads
Dean by 20 in a head-to-head matchup. Bush's early January job
approval rating is the highest for an incumbent seeking
re-election since Lyndon Johnson's in 1964. (And Johnson's is
misleading, because he had only been president for a month at that
time, so he was still on his honeymoon)
- The Sun almost offers us a good
- True or false?
The FBI's "Department for Illegal Internet Downloads" is sending
out automated warning messages via e-mail.
- A new trailer for
::TwISted::--- is on line. (Thriller with Ashley Judd and
The annual awards for the worst reporting of 2003.
Media Want Judge to Unseal Jacko Files. Meanwhile, prosecutors
want gag order on Jackson's attorney.
A rather odd, and strangely erotic use of
A FORMER Singapore talk show host has been sentenced to four
strokes of the cane and 16 months in prison for 'outraging the
modesty of a woman,' a newspaper reported. I don't think Jerry
Springer should plan to spend his next vacation in Singapore.
Goofy Sues Disney. When contacted by our reporter, the lanky
anthropomorphic canine replied, "ahyoock"
Playboy.com picks the ten best movie nude
The Making of the Money Shot Did you wonder how diminutive
Howard Dean, who could play the lead in The Station Agent 2,
seemed to be the same height as former roundballer Bill Bradley?
Answer for you movie buffs: he pulled an Alan Ladd. Others: see
details at the link.
Britain's medicines' agency announced on Tuesday a new study to
find out if people taking antidepressant drugs are at increased
risk of suicide. A coincidence that this is timed with Mr
Bean's period of depression? I think not. This could result in
some excellent new episodes of Mr Fookin' Bean.
The TOP TEN LOSERS OF 2003. From the Comedy Wire.
Scientists develop a mouse smarter than President Bush. Oh,
wait a minute. That was the regular mouse. The
genetically-enhanced mouse is smarter than Mozart. (Very
authentic-looking hoax site, obviously designed to see how many
people fall for it.)
URL say it all: PENISCHEEK.COM
- Must-see picture of
Halle Berry as Catwoman
- Great nostalgia:
The Barracks Wall: The WW II Pinup Gallery
- The trailer for
Miracle is now online. This is the story of the 1980 "do you
believe in miracles?" US Olympic hockey team, starring Snake
Plisskin as Herb Brooks. Fast site, but the deluxe Quick Time
trailer is 54 meg, so choose that option only if you're a
collector or something.
- The trailer for
Secret Things is now online. This French film is the story of
two gorgeous young women who discover the power of sex as a tool
to climb the social ladder. (Slow site and god-awful trailer - but
it does have a topless woman in it!)
- The trailer for
Tokyo Godfathers (animated) is now online.
// Dark Project Studios This is a free resource to customize
your windows desktop, wallpapers, etc.
Court to FBI: No spying on in-car computers: The 9th court of
appeals ruled: "The FBI and other police agencies may not
eavesdrop on conversations inside automobiles equipped with OnStar
or similar dashboard computing systems."
Big-budget movies take a hit at the box office: "Of the big
holiday movies, only The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
is a clear-cut financial success. "
JoBlo's Warner Review for 2004
FilmJerk.com - New Details Emerge on “Stargate: Atlantis”: Two New
Regulars Join the Mix
Flatulence Deodorizer ™ products. You'll fart just as much,
but they'll smell like honeysuckle.
Bad news: Climate Change May Threaten More Than One Million
Species With Extinction The good news: they include none of
the tasty ones.
Paltrow's Career Choices Come Under Scrutiny. Gwyn says, "(I)
don't care if I'm not No. 1 or No. 5 or No. 10. I'm really
(expletive) good at my job"
America's 5 worst freeways: Well, technically, four freeways
and a tollway.
Manny-for-A-Rod, Nomar-for-Ordonez may be on again.
It turns out that Mr Fookin' Bean will NOT be Voldemort:
"Rowan Atkinson will not be taking the role of evil Voldemort in
the Harry Potter films despite press speculation, the actor's
agent has confirmed. "
Ron Howard to cast Russell Crowe in The DaVinci Code?
Jacko's passport has been confiscated. I don't know why he
wanted it anyway. I don't even think it was really his. There was
a picture of some black guy on it.
Loved Ones Worried About Britney: "Friends, loved ones and
colleagues are worried about pop tart Britney Spears (search),
questioning why the singer's behavior has gotten wackier
throughout the year."
- The trailer for
Modligiani is now online. I figured it would be kind of an
intellectual movie, but I guess it ain't all that smart, because
the announcer mispronounces "Modigliani" in the voice-over!!! (It
is pronounced correctly by the actors in the clip.)
- New trailers up for
- The trailer for
Ichi The Killer is now online. This is one seriously demented
Goldie Hawn is a grandma. Does that make her a GILF?
An Argentine artist is taking his clothes off in front of all
churches, temples and mosques in his country to test their
tolerance. Their tolerance for weiners?
A picture of the Saddam capture
Just as PAGE SIX predicted in October, Bill Clinton's former
flame, Gennifer Flowers, is coming to off-Broadway to star in,
'Boobs! The World According to Ruth Wallis.' "
- Averaging the records from all
four major sports,
which U.S. city had the winningest sports teams in 2003?
Celine Dion, set for a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame. It will
be on a completely new side street set aside for extremely popular
people who completely suck. Dion and David Schwimmer will be the
first stars on that street.
Former British royal coroner insists Diana was NOT pregnant at
death. "I have seen into her womb," he told the Times.
- Rolling Stone weighs in on
The Recording Industry vs File Swappers
Us Magazine snaps up Britney's wedding photo
MR. FOOKIN' BEAN is to play evil Lord Voldemort in the next Harry
Potter movie. Man, if he thinks he's depressed now, wait until
he sees these reviews!
Pete Rose still lying? "Pete Rose's former sidekick said
yesterday the all-time Hit King is continuing to lie in his
gambling confession by claiming he never bet on games from the
Cincinnati Reds' clubhouse."
- True or False?
Marilyn Monroe provided the inspiration for Disney's Tinker Bell.
Clark Comes on Strong in New Poll, Dean's lead among Dems cut
to four points.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
Today we take the time machine back to 1980 and a visit with porn star Vanessa Del Rio in "Girls U.S.A", Vanessa is tied to a rack and has her tits fondled and clamped. These are from VHS, so not the greatest quality.
Back to the present and a little on the lighter side, we take a look at Jennifer Tilly on "Leno" last week with some major mega-cleavage.
- Jennifer Tilly
'Caps and comments by Dann:
Third in the Re-Animator series maintains the blood, gore, and camp of the other two. Good horror fun not to be taken seriously.
In this one the good Dr. West has spent 14 years in jail for the death of a girl killed by one of his experiments. When the new prison doctor is sympathetic to his quest for immortality, things once again go out of control. Incidentially, I hope this movie starts a trend nurses with low-cut tops. :-)
|Both ladies are have black tape on their breasts (which is also removed) in scenes from "Honolulu" (2001).
|Scenes from the German movie "Tattoo" (2002). Scheda and Brennicke both show full frontal nudity, Schwiers shows cleavage.
|Alexandra Maria Lara
||The Romanian born actress looking lovely in topless and full frontal scenes from the German movie "Nackt" (2002).
||Baring breasts, bum and a hint of bush in more scenes from "Nackt".
||Toplessness plus close up bush views from "Liebesbriefe einer portugiesischen Nonne" aka "Love Letters From a Portuguese Nun" (1977).
||Topless, full frontal and also in chains. More scenes from "Love Letters From a Portuguese Nun".
||The tall blonde making a topless appearance on an episode of the German TV series "Der Letzte Zeuge".
||The German actress bares all 3 B's in scenes from her first movie, "Schulmädchen-Report 5: Was Eltern wissen sollten" aka "Schoolgirl Report Part 5: What All Parents Should Know" (1973).
||Toplessness and far off rear nudity from "Tage des Sturms" (2003).
||Very lovely breast exposure from the series "Ein Fall für zwei", episode: "Gegen die Wand gefahren".
||The French mega-model showing some cleavage in scenes from "Astérix et Obélix contre César" (1999).
||Gorgeous full frontal nudity in scenes from her one and only IMDb film credit, "Une grande fille comme toi" aka "A Big Girl Like You" (2003).
||Very nice breast exposure as she poses for a nude painting in scenes from an episode of "Ein Ehrenwertes Haus" (1998).
|Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie
|The usual skimpy outfits in scenes from the FOX series "The Simple Life". Thanks to Gman.
|Mr. Skin 'caps of the Canadian babe topless in scenes from the straigh-to-vid movie "Bounty Hunters 2: Hardball".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
POLITICAL GOOFBALL NEWS ROUND-UP
"It's No Choke" - California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger began his first
State of the State Address by joking, "I changed my mind. I want to go
back to acting." He then called for major spending cuts, calling the
executive branch "a mastodon frozen in time," and saying that other
governors reorganize government by just moving boxes around, but "I want to
blow them up."
Wow! When he does go back to acting, I hope he makes THAT movie!
First, he vill take a machete to da budget...Den, he vill blow up da
The legislators listened to his proposed spending cuts and agreed with
him: he should go back to acting.
INTRODUCING "GOVERNATOR BEER"
For Men With Manly Beer Bellies! - The Portland Brewing company of Oregon
is marketing "Governator Beer" in California as a tribute to Arnold
Schwarzenegger. The label shows a muscular figure posing like a body
builder, and the drink is described as a bitter ale with a smooth finish
and a bit of a bite. The CEO said, "It's no 'girly-man' beer."
It has a big, tall head and makes you foam at the mouth!
When you're drunk on this beer, you can grope women's breasts and get
away with it.
Something tells me a six-pack of beer is the only six-pack "Governator
Beer" drinkers will ever have.
You'd think the really bitter ale would be named after Gray Davis.
Jr's non-paid endorsement note.....I'm not a big fan of beer, but when I lived up in Portland I became quite fond of several of the Portland Brewing Company's goodies -Zig Zag Lager was my favorite :-) If you can find it in your area, my guess is the Governator beer will not only be a fun novelty beverage, but a beer worth drinking as well. Here's the press release from the brewery.
MARTHA STEWART JURY SELECTION BEGINS
"Have You Ever Worn White After Labor Day?" - Several hundred people
reported to the federal courthouse in lower Manhattan as prospective jurors
for the Martha Stewart insider trading trial. They had to fill out a
multi-page questionnaire, but the judge refused to release a copy to the
That's insider information.
Nobody's allowed on Martha's jury who can't explain the difference
between endive and arugula.