Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Thanks for all the votes in the Best Nude Scenes balloting. There was no need to continue it over several days. The winner was obvious - ol' Rollergirl had more votes than the next three added together. Results and article tomorrow.


Updated Encyclopedia volumes: Salma Hayek, Heather Graham

New volumes: Lucy Liu, Janine Lindemulder, Amy Locane, Kelly Lynch, Traci Lords

Other crap:


Here are the latest movie reviews available at

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

"The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human"

The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human (1999) -- Based on the title, I expected a third rate soft core, but found a serious romantic comedy, made on a low budget, but with an interesting premise. It is a first film from writer/director Jeff Abugov, and shows some real promise. A book entitled The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris was published in the 60's, which analyzed man as someone would analyze an animal species based on observation. Although it was a semi-serious work, the premise provided for a fair amount of humor. Although Abugov got his inspiration from The Nature Channel, the premise here is similar.

Take a standard romantic comedy, and add alien narration describing the mating rituals based on observation. The romantic comedy itself is trite, but the narration sometimes works, and works well. One step in the mating ritual is a date at a double feature. The narrator comments that female humans like shadow pictures where one person dies slowly, while male humans like shadow pictures where a lot of people die quickly. When the narration is good, the film works.

Other than that, all you have left is Carmen Electra showing her breasts, or buns in a thong, or pokies, or lots of cleavage.

IMDB readers have this at 6.4 of 10, which may be a little generous. The few critics who have reviewed it were not kind, but Apollo readers have it at 80%. The DVD has both wide screen and 4/3 versions, and a commentary from Abugov. Given that I was expecting a grade B soft core, this was a pleasant surprise. It is not the best comedy I have seen, but it was mostly watchable. C-.


Graphic Response

Emily Watson in Breaking the Waves

Diane Lane in Unfaithful. Chosen among the top five nude appearances in 2002


We return today to the 1965 b&w roughie "The Defilers", for a look at the other girls in the movie. First we see Carol Dark the girl friend of one of the creeps for a little loving on the beach, loving in the back seat of a car, and having her blouse opened in the basement of their little hideaway the two creeps use for seducing their victims. Then we see the really bad creep with Linda Cochran as he pulls down her panties for a little spanking. But guess what? She likes it and they make love. Both girls show boobs and buns.  

Dark (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 )

Cochran (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 )


Victoria Abril in Amantes

Maribel Verdu in Amantes

Amy Dolenz - The Stepmonster

Dana Delany and Stephane Niznik in Exit to Eden

Elizabeth Cavalotti in Guardami. (1, 2) She's not a porn actress, but she plays one in the movie, and the Italians have realism down to a science.

Cristina Camara in Tantacao (1, 2, 3, 4)

Heather Graham in Killing Me Softly - voted by you the #1 nude scene of 2002 (pretty impressive, since the movie never played in the USA except now on TMC, which is where these came from) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Emma Thompson in The Tall Guy (1, 2)

Margot Kidder in Quackser Fortune has a Cousin in the Bronx

Comedy Wire with Pat Reeder

It Won't Last Until The Stroke Of Midnight - The New York Post reports that Drew Barrymore will marry Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti in a traditional ceremony in Italy.  Her first marriage lasted 19 days, and her second, to Tom Green, lasted five months.

*  At this rate, whoever she marries when she's 80, she'll actually stay with until she dies!

*  The wedding will be traditional, as in "an annual tradition."