• * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.


Jason X


A 1080p film clips of Kaye Penaflor and Tania Maro


Golden Temple Amazons


It's time for caps and clips of a Jess Franco movie sometimes called Golden Temple Amazons and at other times referred to as Amazons in the Temple of Gold.  No matter: we got a temple and we got gold but most important for all of us of the Funhouse, we got Amazons.  I dunno, maybe two dozen of em, topless.  All but two are background scenery.  As Jess Franco movies go this one is less icky than most; a few people die and there is the usual cinematic portrayal of sadism of the Medieval sort, but this time he does not revel in the pain.  The dialogue is laughable, the worst I have heard since I struggled through half of the original Expendables (good grief that movie was horrible at a level that redefined the word).  And the action - if'n that's what you wanna call it - is oh so silly. What brings up to the table, however, are the nekkid ladies. And as is always the case, Jess delivered, big time.

As the principal actress, Analia Ivars, spends the entire movie wearing an upper garment that appears constructed of four fox tails hanging loosely from a collar.  If you are a fan of side boob this movie is for you; and often enough the individual tails swing to the side and there for all to see is usually one but sometimes two breasts for all to see.  Lovely breasts, too, for this movie was made when Analia was in her prime time.  There are eight scenes - the cap and clip numbers match so that each delivers the same goods - many outdoors but a few inside the temple of gold.  My favorite caps are those in #7 - it is constructed from a couple of slow pans from face to hootie.  Analia would go on to star - if that is the correct phraseology - in several other Jess Franco movies; those include two films shot 12 years later (Lust for Frankenstein and Mari-Cookie) when the bloom had come off this particular rose.  In Golden Temple she was cute as a button and ever so attractively built.

Alicia Principe plays the wife of a treasure hunter.  At the first sign of water she strips down and jumps in.  Alicia is a slim, lovely lass; she is the only one to go full frontal.  Gotta love that babe.  Hers is one of a couple of scenes in which a hippopotamus plays the heavy, not just in absolute tonnage but also in menacing presence.  Apparently, Jess was of the opiniont that hippos are predators.  A second scene has Alicia wake up nekkid next to everyone else in her party.  She is topless for a minute before her hubbie takes off his poncho and gives it to her to wear.  The bastard.

Eva Leon is a Jess Franco staple.  Every movie of his has a woman of some advanced vintage look and act the part of a sadist.  SS matron or women's prison warden or, in this case, office manager to the head Amazon, there is always such a character at the center of a Franco movie.  Eva is none too attractive, particularly from behind.  I mean, really you are cast in the part of a person who struts around in a thong and you do nothing to tone up those glutes??  The horror, the horror.  Eva is in two scenes.  She wrestles and loses to Analia in a prearranged contest and then she gets all bad-ass (as if the thong view were not enough) on Alicia and her hubby.  In both cases, the golden vest she wears flies open early and often to reveal upper goodies.  Again, I am not a fan but there you go.

Finally Francoise Blanchard plays a topless spokeswoman for the head Amazon.  She tells Analia's parents to scoot because they have stolen gold from the temple and... well you know the drill: dad is a prick, picks a fight, dies, takes his idiot wife with him and that leaves Analia's character to grow up in the forest, which looks like it should be Africa although I was pretty certain the Amazons were said to live in Asia Minor.  But who am I to quibble?  Francoise is a classic beauty.  The movie would have benefitted greatly had she spent much more time on the screen, clad as she was. 

There is also a clip of topless Amazons riding around on horseback.  All other Amazons were blond but in this clip there's a redhead or two.  Go figure. 

Today: part 1. Clips and caps of Analia Ivars

Nine film clips of Analia. Collages below.


The Barrens


Mia Kirshner: pokies, cleavage in clingy top.

Allie MacDonald: cleavage.

Total Recall

(extended cut; 2012)

A bit more nudity but little to push the envelope for an R rating.

Kaitlyn Leeb: more three-boobies.

various: more hookers and sexbots.

"Bomb Girls"

episode: "The Quickening" (s2e1)

Another obligatory changeroom scene featuring 1940s era lingerie.

Shondra Kayd: side boob.

Jodi Balfour: brassiere.

Ali Liebert: brassiere.

various: underwear the kind your grandma wore.

BONUS: Shondra Kayd: sexy having an orgasm in Allergies short.


episode "Fuck the Neighborhood / Dump Truck Pool Party"

New MTV reality series about a bunch of West Virginian rednecks who make the cast Jersey Shore look like cultured by comparison. The entire cast must be direct descendents of the banjo player from the movie Deliverance.

trailer: pixelated topless.

Salwa Amin: pixelated topless. She's the next Snooki.

The Factory


Ksenia Solo: brassiere showing some nice panties crotch. She returns in Lost Girl season 3 this weekend.

Vampyres and Slayers

(2008 video short)

Andrea Croxen: brassiere having sex.

Annick Blanchard: very tight pants.

Stephanie Aubry: tight sweater, ass hugging leather pants.

Amelie Paul: cleavage having vampire threesome.

"Bob Gratton"

le episode 2.13

Caroline Bernard: cleavage.

Film Clips

Kerry Washington in Django Unchained (2012)

Helen Hunt in The Sessions (2012)


Annika Marks in The Sessions (2012)

Jeanette Hain in Tatort: Scheinwelten (2012) in 720p

Gudrun Landgrebe in Annas Mutter (1983)


Antonia Santilli in Il Boss (1973)