Friday

Her Name is Carla (2005)

This is essentially a four character play on film. In fact, to be more specific, it is structurally similar to some of Harold Pinter's plays in which mysterious strangers intimidate sedate households without making any outright threats, but just by exuding a vague malevolent presence.  Her Name is Carla is a tale of two couples. Carla and Bill, who seem to be settled and miserable, live near a small town on a remote stretch of beach. One day, while Carla is in town running some errands, she runs into the other couple, Jack and Molly, strangers who are stranded in town after his business meeting was cancelled. They start up a conversation. Carla volunteers that their boat has a broken motor, and Jack volunteers to fix it. Carla is reluctant to bring these people into her life, but a combination of their persuasiveness and Carla's loneliness seems to wear down her resistance. By the time they get back to Carla's house, they have wrangled an invitation to have dinner and spend the night. Bill is obviously uncomfortable with having strangers intruding into his life, but he can't seem to come up with any reason to disinvite his guests, so he tries to relax.

The evening starts out pleasantly enough, but the strangers gradually seem more menacing, and Bill is the first to notice that his guests don't have a credible back-story. Half of the time, when they are questioned about matters, they reply with some vague platitudes like "I had a thing with the financial guy," or "you know how it is." The rest of the time it is obvious that they are lying, because their stories are either  contradictory or just outright nonsense. (Jack is in the diamond business, but doesn't seem to know how diamonds are mined.) The couples have too much to drink and pair off without their spouses. Carla and Jack go for a walk, and are having sex almost immediately. Molly makes an attempt to seduce Bill, but he is becoming aware that his guests are plotting something malicious, so he is keeping his distance. Within a short while, Bill wants the guests to leave, but by this time Carla is infatuated with Jack and wants the strangers to stay. Bill is not the sort of man who keeps guns or uses force, and he might lose his wife even if he could force the strangers out, so he has no way to get the unwanted guests from his house. He ends up acquiescing to the presence of visitors for a night, although he is certain that their intentions must be malevolent.

Who are the two strangers, and why have they come to this household? That two-edged question is the essence of the film.

In the Pinter path, the psychological drama would continue to center around veiled menace involving undeveloped characters who meet more or less at random. The mystery usually remains mysterious. In this film, the Pinteresque portion is more or less confined to the set-up, and the second half of the film veers from the Pinter formula to become concrete. It provides the history of the characters and the connections between them, as well as a concrete solution to the mystery. In addition to the revelation of critical incidents in the past, it also includes a number of unexpected plot twists in the present. Things don't work out exactly as the menacing strangers had planned.

It is an extremely low budget film shot on digital video, and it relies entirely on the actors and the editing to develop and maintain its aura of suspense. The digital video work is dreary, although that works with the somber tone of the film. There is too little lighting in most of the indoor shots, and the outdoor shots on the water lose all definition, so that the water looks like it has been painted by Seurat. At times the sun's reflection on the water tends to bleach out everything on camera.

There is very little action. The one time when action is necessary, it is filmed so clumsily that it is does not communicate clearly what has actually happened. That scene, one of the most important scenes in the film, is so clumsy that I had to replay it a couple of times, wondering what the hell I had just seen. (As it turns out, the result of the scene can be determined from what happens subsequently, so the confusing edit didn't really matter.)

The director of this film is also the author, editor, and cinematographer. If he gets more money for his next project, he should consider keeping the other three jobs and hiring a professional cinematographer, because he has some talent elsewhere. Despite the fact that the film's overall appearance is no more professional than a home movie, it does have some emotional power. The director knows just how to use the right combination of hollow dialogue, silence, and music to make one's hair stand on end. By the way, the person I'm talking about here is Jay Anania, and he is the brother-in-law of Democratic former Vice-Presidential candidate John Edwards. (Anania is the younger brother of Edwards's wife.)

 

Julianne Nicholson
Mina Badie

 

 

Dumb and Dumber (1994)

There is no additional nudity in the unrated special edition DVD

 

Lauren Holly

 

 

Where the Truth Lies (2005)

This is Atom Egoyan's new film, which I'll cover in depth in a later edition. These images come from a mish-mash of sources. Some are from LC, some from Mr Blonde. Since LC had covered it all, I passed, given the poor quality of the screener. I will do some when the DVD streets.

Rebecca Davis
Alison Lohman
Rachel Blanchard
Kristin Adams

And the film clips:

 

Other Crap:

"Analysts Estimate 1.3 Million X360s Sold
Microsoft appears to be falling short of quarterly sales goals."
  • OK, I'll ask the obvious question. How can you fall short of sales goals when you sell every single unit you produce?
  • Or, to word it another way, if Microsoft only had 1.3 million units to begin with, why did the forecast call for them selling more than that?

Gadget lovers - here are complete reports from the Consumer Electronics Show

Clinton Portis's mom reportedly punches out a fan

Where Are They Now .... The Griswold Kids

It could have been worse. At least you didn't get these things for Christmas.

Survival Guide to Drunken New Year's Eve Sex

  • Oops! Sorry if you got the advice too late. My apologies to any of you who did not survive. Well, my apologies technically go to your loved ones if you did not survive, but you know what I mean, or at least you would if you were still with us.

Troubled teen star Lindsay Lohan has sparked rumours she is pregnant ... after a friend was photographed bringing unusual items to Lohan's bedside, including a pregnancy testing kit and a box of Cocoa Puffs.

  • So she's not only pregnant, but Cuckoo as well?
  • Wow, I am impressed by Lohan's efforts so far this year. Between the asthma, the Vanity Fair drug and bulemia confessions, and the quasi-pregnancy, she's packed a full year's worth of celebrity shenanigans into these five short days. She's driven Brangelina off the gossip sites completely! Of course, Cruise still has managed to come up with the postponed wedding, and Paris Hilton has the lawsuits, but apart from that, Lohan has OWNED 2006.

"President Bush called Texas coach Mack Brown on Thursday morning to congratulate the Longhorns"

  • Unfortunately, Brown's answering machine was already full
  • President Bush seems to be showing Nixonion symptoms. He called Brown at 6 AM, on a morning after the coach had partied well into the night

Gates says Google still on their "honeymoon"

  • I guess that explains why they want to fuck him 24/7

Tip o' the cap department: Looking back on ESPN.com's pre-season NFL power rankings

  • Man, they sure had these nailed! Here are the teams they rated 25-29 out of the 32 in the NFL: (actuals in parens). Giants 25th (11-5, won division), Bears 26th (11-5, won division and first round playoff bye), Tampa Bay 27th (11-5, won division), Dolphins 28th (9-7, won last six games), Redskins 29th (10-6, made playoffs)
  • They also ranked the Eagles second best in the NFL (they finished last in their division), and ranked the Jets 9th best (they sucked so bad they may get Vince Young if he skips his senior year!)

Emily Stern abruptly quit an Off-Off-Broadway religious satire in which cast members strip naked. The show's creator blasted her, and called her famous father, Howard Stern, 'a psycho.'

Cuba paid Oswald to kill Kennedy, per new documentary

  • "Cuba lay behind the 1963 assassination of President John F. Kennedy by Lee Harvey Oswald and its agents provided the gunman with money and support, an award-winning German director says in a new documentary film"

Italian court to decide whether Jesus existed

  • At the heart of the dispute is an atheist suing the Catholic Church for swindling and conning people into believing in the godhood of someone who never existed in the first place
  • He wants an Italian judge to rule that Christ never existed? That atheist better learn to pray fast, because he needs a miracle.

Indiana's WTWO is refusing to air a new NBC series that features Jesus Christ as a supporting character.

  • Hey, c'mon, His agent pushed Him for the lead, but there are no good agents in heaven

"WHICH three-way celebrity sex video could be headed to the Internet any day now?"

  • "We hear that a '90s-era rock star taped a menage a trois with a porn star and the ex-husband of one of our favorite Hollywood hellcats in the bathroom of L.A.'s trashtastic Roosevelt Hotel. Now, two of the three carnal combatants are eager to release the freaky footage."

UNCONFIRMED REPORTS say PRIME MINISTER SHARON IS BRAIN DEAD, joining Chirac and Bush among major world leaders.

Enron defendants' lawyers decry Houston's bias

  • "Noting that some potential jurors think ex-Enron CEO Jeff Skilling 'would lie to his mother if it would further his cause' and ex-Chairman Ken Lay is a 'lowdown scumbag' their lawyers are asking once again that their trial be moved."
  • In searching for a place where potential jurors do not find Lay a scumbag, his attorneys have settled on either Uzbekistan or Dick Cheney's undisclosed location.

X-Entertainment: Book Reports of Children's Books.

Lettermania: "Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Getting Free Surgery"

  • #2 - "Wasn't that Joan Rivers in the waiting room?

Arrow In The Head's Top 10 favourite genre films of 2005

Fake Quotes of the Year: 2005

Conan, Max and Triumph look back on last year's resolutions

The trailer for She's the Man, a modern day youth comedy loosely based on Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.

  • "It's hard enough being the nerdy new guy on campus without also being the new girl on campus, who has fallen for the coolest guy on campus, who is totally obsessed with the most beautiful girl on campus, who is crushing on the nerdy new guy on campus. Viola Johnson (Amanda Bynes) had her own good reasons for disguising herself as her twin brother Sebastian (James Kirk) and enrolling in his place at his new boarding school, Illyria Prep. She was counting on Sebastian being AWOL from school as he tried to break into the music scene in London. What she didn't count on was falling in love with her hot roommate, Duke (Channing Tatum), who in turn only has eyes for the beautiful Olivia (Laura Ramsey). Making matters worse, Olivia is starting to fall for Sebastian, who - for reasons Olivia couldn't begin to guess - appears to be the sensitive type of guy she'd always dreamed of meeting. If things weren't complicated enough, the real Sebastian has come back from London two days earlier than expected and arrives on campus having no clue that he's been replaced... by his own twin sister."

The trailer for Dirty. Official blurb:

  • "From writer-director Chris Fisher ('Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders,' 'Nightstalker'), comes 'Dirty,' an edgy, suspenseful and action-packed story about a day in the life of two corrupt cops going for one final score. Gang member-turned-cop Armando Sancho (Clifton Collins Jr./'Capote') begins to question the life he and his partner Salim Adel (Cuba Gooding Jr.) have chosen. Sancho must decide whether to heed his conscience or his loyalty to his fellow officers as the two rogue cops agree to run a lucrative, illegal operation for the station's top brass (Keith David and Cole Hauser). Focusing on an adrenaline-fueled urban drama set in a decaying American metropolis, 'Dirty' cuts through the thin blue line between police corruption, gang violence and street justice. Rooted in neo-noir storytelling that pays tribute to writers like Raymond Carver and Dashiel Hammett, shot in an aggressive, pseudo-documentary style that puts the audience in the driver seat, peppered with just enough subtext, humor and poetry to elevate the film above mere genre convention, and buoyed by an all-star cast."

Screen Actors Guild Award nominations announced

  • "The nominees for best actor in a film are Russell Crowe ('Cinderella Man'), Philip Seymour Hoffman ('Capote'), Heath Ledger ('Brokeback Mountain'), Joaquin Phoenix ('Walk the Line') and David Strathairn ('Good Night, and Good Luck').
  • That is the same roster which comprised the "Drama" category from the Golden Globes, except Phoenix crossed over from "Comedy/Musical" to supplant Terrence Howard for the fifth slot.
  • Surprising to me, Howard was nominated for neither best actor (Hustle and Flow) nor best supporting actor (Crash). I'm OK with the best actor nominees, I guess (I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain), but I would have nominated either Howard or Mickey Rourke (Sin City) in the supporting category, rather than George Clooney.
  • I would, however, completely support Clooney for a nomination for best director. As I see it, there are three guys who should be (but will not all be) shoo-ins for best director nominations: Clooney, Robert Rodriguez and Peter Jackson. I don't see any sign that Rodriguez will be nominated, despite his skillful, innovative work. The academy doesn't much care for sleazy genre films these days.
  • The nominees for best actress in a film are Judi Dench ('Mrs. Henderson Presents'), Felicity Huffman ('Transamerica'), Charlize Theron ('North Country'), Reese Witherspoon ('Walk the Line') and Ziyi Zhang ('Memoirs of a Geisha')."

"Scarlett Johansson has signed a deal to be the new spokesmodel for L'Oreal."

The results of AskMen.com's poll for the Top 99 Women of 2006

The trailer for Bareback Mountain

  • Forbidden love between a man and a horsie. A MALE horsie.

UPS picks the Weirdest Stories of 2005

  • This one is both funny and profoundly sad: "Daryl Atkins, a Virginia capital-murder inmate who had previously registered an IQ lower than the minimum-70 needed for execution, scored a 76, and a jury then sent him to death row. Legal experts attributed the improvement in IQ to the intellectual stimulation Atkins received from discussing his case with lawyers."
  • Instead of the five obvious punch lines in that story, I'd like to point out that his improvement proves he IS retarded, not that he isn't. If he were of normal intelligence, he would certainly have answered the questions wrong to save his ass, as any of us would have. If I had been in his shoes, I would have scored an IQ of about 9 on that test. Of course, I wouldn't have to fake it - that's the same as I scored in eighth grade.

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 
 

Scrapbook (2004)

Scrapbook is yet another serial killer film, conceived and written by Tommy Biondo, who also played the lead, and directed by Eric Stanze. It took years for Biondo to get someone to make the film, and he was off on another project when it was being edited. He Just before he would have been able to screen his film (he hadn't seen a single minute of the finished film), he was killed in an auto accident.

The premise is interesting. The killer was supposedly permanently bent as a child when his older sister (Elizabeth Hammock) molested him. He captures women, then tortures them, keeping a diary, and forcing them to write in it, until he tires of them, and kills them. As we join his story, he is disposing of his most recent victim, and capturing Emily Haack.

The ordeals faced by Haack are graphically depicted as she is held prisoner on a remote farm. Since the nudity and the torture are the entire point of this film, I won't give details, in case you want to see this one. I will say that it is sick, twisted and gruesome. Biondo evidently did a lot of research into real serial killers as background to his screen play. For the B&D crowd, there is an interesting twist in the exchange of power, as Haak makes use of her writing in the Scrapbook to gain the upper hand.

Elizabeth Hammock shows breasts while molesting the young Tommy. Emily Haack shows all three Bs

IMDb readers say 5.7. The B-Movie festival awarded acting, direction and screenplay. I am a little surprised that Emily Haack didn't also get a nod, as she did her usual great job. This is sure to become a cult favorite, if for no other reason than the torture and gore, which is well over the top. This should not be my type of film at all, but I was strangely attracted to the story, possibly because I was rooting for Haak to overcome the odds and survive. The genre is serial killer stories, and this fictional one is a C+.

Tuna

 

Emily Haack
Elizabeth Hammock

 

 		 

 

 

Roxetta in "Hollywood Sexcapades"
 

 



Today we have three actresses in five clips on the menu.
 
For starters there's 2 clips of Fiona Shaw (1, 2) in Mountains of the Moon (1990). Fiona is fully nude but hard to see because the scene is so damn dark, but brightened caps can be found in the back issues. Scoop awarded this film with a solid B in his lengthy and informative review in the Movie House.
 
Our main course consists out of 2 clips of a surprisingly chaste Laura Antonelli (1, 2) in 1982's Viuuulentemente...mia. Laura is down to her underwear, however she allows us a brief glimpse at her ample bosom. She also says that one shouldn't look at naked women. Sorry Laura.
 
Let's end with a light dessert that won't cause indigestion. Slender Martha Plimpton exposes her tiny titties in 1 clip to some guy and us in Alice's Restaurant back in 1969.

Dann reports on Thriller: A Cruel Picture

Quentin Tarantino has credited this 1974 Swedish (with English soundtrack) rape/revenge flick as the inspiration for the Kill Bill series, and for the one-eyed character. The movie preceded 1978's I Spit on Your Grave, another notorious rape/revenge flick well known for its nudity and violence.

In this one Frigga is raped as a child by an old man, leaving her unable to speak. She is kidnapped and brutalized by a slick brothel owner who hooks her on heroin then forces her into prostitution in return for being supplied the dope to feed her habit. When she resists, he puts out her eye.

Frigga stashes away all the money she earns and uses it to get training in martial arts, high speed driving and eluding, and marksmanship. She then goes on a rampage taking revenge against her clients and the man who engineered her miserable life.

Lots of nudity and sex, violence, and a decent storyline make this classic well worth watching. The master was apparently in bad shape, so even on DVD, the quality is poor and was hard to cap, but definitely worth adding to the collection.

Christina Lindberg Despina Tomazani
 

Just a few collages today, all of them featuring babes from the UK.

Luan Peters spent a fair amount of time on the telly (Fawtly Towers and Coronation Street) but turned to the exploitative sex comedies of the 1970's that kept the UK movie industry alive. Luan had the equipment. What we have here are caps from Pacific Banana (she was borrowed by the Aussies for that one)

and from Not Tonight Darling. The source for the latter is about as far from DVD as you can get and so the quality is a problem.

And I threw in a performance of former Miss World, Ann Sidney, in...well, Performance. Ann was in her mid-20's and looks spectacular. Again, the source was not DVD.

 

  
 

 

 

 
Today it's a another "Really Bad Movie," but again one with lots of nudity. All the women are hit with a sex ray machine which makes them horny.

First up Jennifer Burton playing a cop making it, she shows it all.

Kim Dawson playing a U.S Senator

Petra Sexton & Holly Hollywood a little topless wrestling.

Holly Hollywood shows all three B's.

Petra Sexton topless.

 

 

 

 

 

 
LC's caps of Where the Truth Lies are up in the Scoopy section. He has plenty more for us today as well. Here's Melissa Leo in The Three Burials Of Melquiades Estrada, the new film directed by Tommy Lee Jones.  
Some unidentified flesh in Dirty Deeds  
Carrie-Anne Moss really fills out the top of her bikini in The Chumscrubber  
Zara Taylor in an episode of Masters of Horror  
And two other sets from other imagers to top us off for the day ...
Emma Suarez in Contra el Viento (1990)  
Nadia Fares in Elles n'oublient Jamais